Narrative Writing Complications - 'Show, Not Tell' by Imaduddin Ahmad Bin Chevi Rafiudin Staff

Modify the complication found in this passage with your assigned 'Show, Not Tell' Strategy.

imaduddinahmad — 2025-08-18 15:38:06 UTC

The complication is typed out in red. Modify only that part with your assigned 'Show, Not Tell' Strategy and then post the modified paragraph under your group's section.

Show, Not Tell Strategies

imaduddinahmad — 2025-08-18 15:40:43 UTC

Describing emotions through behaviour (Actions)
Break up an action into smaller parts of actions
Add details like adverbs and measurements of time and space
Describe experiences in sensory details
Use Simile and Metaphor

Jasalle

jasalle_tan_en_jie — 2025-08-19 04:15:01 UTC

“I looked down and the ground seemed very far away.”

“I tilted my head, my lashes fluttered as I stared and the ground. The ground seemed very far away

Jandrei

jasalle_tan_en_jie — 2025-08-19 04:17:25 UTC

“When it was my turn, I stopped moving.” (Original)

Edited: when it was my turn, my body stiffened, my legs went still and my hands dropped to my sides motionless.

Describing emotions through behaviour

2025-08-19 04:17:35 UTC

Mary's eyes glinted a red hue as her eyebrows narrowed into a 'V' shape, her nose flared and her veins tightening around her neck. She stomped towards her brother's room, hands fisted into a ball and slammed open his door. Her shout burst out of her mouth sharp and fast, echoing against the walls like thunder. Spit flew as her voice rose higher, her hands slicing the air in wild, jerky motions. Each syllable that escaped her hit heavy, forcing her brother in his room to shrink back, his eyes darting towards the floor.

Rey

jasalle_tan_en_jie — 2025-08-19 04:19:38 UTC

“I held on tightly to the rope, but I could not move”( original)

Edited: With heart pounding fast and furious, I lifted my hand nervously and grabbed hold of the rope shakingly, but I stood motionless, and didn’t know what I’m supposed to do

Zi Yu

2025-08-19 04:21:09 UTC

When it was my turn, I stopped moving. I looked down and the ground seemed as far away as the sky seen from a mountaintop. I held on tightly to the rope, clinging to it like a drowning person grabbing a lifeline, but I could not move. My classmates were waiting behind me, and their eyes felt like spotlights burning into my back. Some of them shouted for me to go forward, and I felt even more nervous, as if their voices were chains holding me in place. My mind became as empty as a blank sheet of paper. I stood there for a long time, frozen, while fear wrapped around me like a shadow that refused to let go. The more I waited, the more the fear swelled, rising like waves crashing higher and higher inside me.

Yun Ting

jasalle_tan_en_jie — 2025-08-19 04:24:12 UTC

“My mind became blank. I stood there for a long time, unable to decide what to do”. (Original)

My mind was in a whirl as I stood rooted towards the ground for what felt like an eternity. I was in a dilemma and had to choose between the devil and the deep blue sea.

2025-08-19 04:24:33 UTC

When it was my turn, i stopped moving as i was paralysed with fear . Time seemed to have stopped as i looked down to the ground which now seemed even further than it actually was. My palms started sweating profusely as i held on tight to the rope, but i could not move. My classmates were waiting expectantly behind me and some shouted fiercely for me to go forward. The air was stiff as i became increasingly anxious because all eyes were on me.Tension filled the air as my mind went blank. I stood there for what felt like ages, unable to decide my next move. The more I waited, the more jumpy i became.

aminah and myiesha

2025-08-19 04:24:37 UTC

When it was my turn, I was like a deer in headlights. I looked down and the ground felt like it was as far as the eye could see. I held on to the rope like a lifeline, but I could not move. My class mates were waiting for me like watching paint dry and some of them shouted for me to go forward. I felt even more nervous like a mouse in a lions den. My mind became blank. I stood there for an eternity, like a cloud of confusion. The more I waited, the more terrified I became.

Group 5

2025-08-19 04:26:20 UTC

When it was my turn, I stopped moving. My eyes drooped down as I stared down. The scenery was in a blur as my heart started to palpate, my palms were sweaty as sweat trickled down my forehead. I looked down as the wind caressed my cheeks from the 30m rope. My classmates were waiting behind me and some of them shouted for me to go forward. My heart started to beat even faster like the African drums, the constant pressure from my classmates made my mind blank out. I felt even more nervous because they were watching me. My mind became blank. I stood there for a long time, unable to decide what to do. The more I waited, the more scared I became. A chill went down my spine as i was quivering in fear, my body felt like it was paralysed.

Wilhelm, Maximus, Wei Jie, Jeshua

2025-08-19 04:26:47 UTC

I have always been terrified of heights. Standing on the second floor of a shopping mall and glancing down, I tried attempting to avoid what seemed like an endless drop. Just the thought of it made my knees weak, almost like they had turned into jelly. So, when my class organised a trip to an adventure park, I was already nervous. The activity that scared me the most was the high rope course, where we had to slowly traverse across a narrow wooden plank, several meters above the ground. Although it was a walk in the park for others, my fears made that short distance a one way ticket to the hospital. On the day itself, everyone was jumping with excitement, hands up in the air while loudly cheering as we put on our safety harness. I tried to smile through the pain, trying to distract myself from the horrors I may face, but my heart pounded as I slowly made my way up the stairs of despair. The plank looked thin and shaky, almost like it was about to collapse, and the ground below seemed frighteningly far away.

When it was my turn, my feet were cemented to the ground, each step feeling like a weight chained to my feet. I looked down, and the ground seemed further away than it was 2 minutes ago. I clutched tightly onto the rope, grip unwavering but I couldn’t bring myself to move. My classmates were waiting behind me, some of them shouting for me to go forward. With the pressure from their words and glares, it added on to my stress. My mind went blank. I stood there for what felt like an eternity, unable to decide my next move. The longer I delayed the inevitable, the more my legs shaked.

Fear of heights

2025-08-19 04:27:16 UTC

Last week, I went to Sentosa to try a new adventure—bungee jumping! As I climbed up the stairs, fear got the better of me and my hands started fidgeting and cold sweat trickled down my face. My palms started getting sweaty as I stood frozen in fear. The lady beside me noticed how scared i was feeling and tried reassuring me but her words went in and out of my ears as I didn’t register what she said. I took a few steps back, doubting myself if I should go through with the bungee jumping. Chills went down my spine as i took a deep breath and leaped forward with fear in my eyes.

Group 6, Jay, Dylian, Ridhuan, Jerome

2025-08-19 04:27:47 UTC

When it was my turn, I momentarily became blind, my brain switching off, like a flickering light switch. My glance turned to the ground. The floor felt far every time I looked back, like the opposite of a weeping angel. Cold sweat running down my face with an awful sensation, drenched hands gripping onto the rope as it scratches my palm.

2025-08-19 04:30:17 UTC

When it was my turn, my feet were cemented to the ground, each step feeling like a weight chained to my feet. I struggled to even lift a toe. I glanced down, and the ground seemed further away than it was 2 minutes ago. I clutched tightly onto the rope, grip unwavering but I couldn’t bring myself to move. My classmates were waiting behind me, some of them shouting for me to go forward. I felt their eyes boring into my back. With the pressure from their words and glares, it added on to my stress. My mind went blank. I stood there for what felt like an eternity, unable to decide my next move. The longer I delayed the inevitable, the more my legs shaked.