Josh's Personal Narrative by Kevin Van Dyke

Mason Jansen

2014-04-22 13:48:42 UTC

My favorite part in your story is when your brother asked if you wanted to play and you didn't now what you were going to play. You should of asked him what you were going to play it could of changed the story a whole lot.

Maddie Crocker

2014-04-24 00:46:28 UTC

Josh-

My favorite part of the story is when you agreed to play the game with your brother to see what the game would be like. I thought it was a little funny when you screamed ouch but you still kept on playing the game. But you still did a very good job!

Blake Rea

2014-04-24 13:47:25 UTC

My favorite part was when your brother asked you to play deer hunting and when you got shot in the head and screamed OUCH and started crying.

payton van wyk

2014-04-24 13:52:30 UTC

i like what blake said when your brother asked to play deer hunting and you said yes good story

Dylann Huyser

2014-04-25 13:49:16 UTC

Josh-

I think you did a really good job entertaining the reader with your story. My favorite part would have to be when you said: "It was the worst mistake of my life." I think this story will prove to you that if you work hard it pays off! Keep working hard! - Dylann

Brooke Baarda

2014-04-25 13:50:30 UTC

Josh-

My favorite part of your story is your ending "but from this day I will never play deer hunting again!"I don't blame you I wouldn't want to either! When you got hit in the head it must of hurt. I liked how you added a lot of details. I liked reading your story because you made it fun to read! Keep up good writing!