#WEWRITEAGAINSTGBV by https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k We Write Against GBV is a letter campaign that aims to collect first-hand stories of gender-based violence and discrimination of young people in Mindanao. en-us 2021-08-29 05:09:24 UTC 2025-12-01 06:08:09 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/270a.png Carmen Market Dilemma irismambuay418 https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702394719 Let me recall an experience when I was still in my 1st year in college. I was walking down the streets of Carmen Market. I was wearing my white nurse uniform and my kombong. I was covered with clothes all the way down and yet, I was still catcalled. I was appalled. And to think a Muslim woman like me still gets sexual slurs, gave me a range of emotions. It only shows that it's not about what a person wears. It made me think, if a covered woman could still be catcalled, what more to those who are quite open with their sexuality and the way they present themselves? Moreover, to teens who are actually quite expressive? But regardless, it shouldn't be a criteria to be harassed on whatever platform there is. It is deeply rooted and should be corrected. In regard to the dilemma I had encountered, as members of the society, we need to remind others that we should be responsible for our actions. Let us start with educating. Fight the hate, educate. After all, it starts with you.]]> 2021-08-29 06:00:01 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702394719 Stories that were shared to me yeezlezy https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702394791 Recently, during the online class setup, there were 3 women that shared to me their experience about how they were harassed by their own boy friends. This is actually the first time where I heard something about this and this opened my eyes about issues like these and it really caught my attention that there are people that harrass women. My friend told me that she is really uncomfortable around that guy and she really doesn't want to ruin their friendship. But then, she also said that he asks her sensitive questions such as having sex. Moreover, another friend of mine also said that during a birthday celebration, wherein she was really drunk and sick, someone raped her at that night at it really caused her a trauma. For me, it's sad knowing that there are men that does take advantage of other women for entertainment. And I really don't know what to say to them and how to help them. What I'm hoping is to stop the harassments and to future victims of these happenings]]> 2021-08-29 06:00:10 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702394791 Kalsada cacangcago https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702395393 There are times when someone open up about sexual harassments and abuse, I would honestly admit that I am uncomfortable with it. Not because I hate it, it is because I myself experienced a lot of sexual harassments - may it unseen or seen. 

No one would ever thought that I was harassed not just once but multiple times in different monsters. Yes, I call them monsters and predators considering the fact that I am still minor the time they took advantage of my innocence.

I am very independent that is why my parents trusts me to walk home alone even late night. But, I am also aware that I should also think of my safety. There are few times that I go home alone, on the other side I am always accompanied with people my family and I trusts. 

Unfortunately, bad things happen unexpectedly especially when I am alone and unaware. I cannot go on with the details since I am still traumatized and still healing......

First Scenario - I was about to walk through the highway because I was dropped by the jeep just in front of our house. It was raining and I cannot crossed the "kalsada" since it is rush hour a lot of vehicles are passing through. I thought I was going to die when a random guy stopped in front me in the middle of a traffic. He parked his motor just meters away from me and walk towards me. His eyes were all red and I cannot clearly see his view since his on his helmet. I was trying my best to step away as he is walking towards me. I was very afraid, I was mental blocked I know something wrong is going to happen. And to think, there were no people at that area and vehicles were busy rushing through. When he was really close to me, I was literally petrified when he spoke the most disgusting phrase that I cannot forget for my entire life. He asked me for sex and wants me to go with him. I am very shocked and was very traumatized. The only thing I knew I moved away from him and didn't care if I'll be hit by  a car or something I just wanna get away from him. He turned his back grab his motor. And the most terrifying thing he did, I crossed the "kalsada" not minding the cars, he do the U turn and was about to hit me but I was lucky I reached the other side before he could. I ran to my house and cried and tell everything to my parents they are very angry and frustrated that they didn't catch the guy.

2nd Scenario - Last January this year, I was preparing for my graduation pictorial. I personally contacted a make up artist to do the glam and hair style to me. That was 5 in the morning, I was waiting for my artist to come. I wore a simple sando and shorts because I'll be dressing up anyways after the make up session. I went outside and step out from our gate to meet my artist. And the thing happened. I was again infront of the "kalsada" but this time I am near at our gate. Another guy wearing full gears and was riding a motorcycle stopped infront of me. I thought he was a delivery guy since he has this big bag pack but I was wrong. He parked his motor and without doubting he unzipped his pants and shows his private on me. I went inside as fast as I can and locked the gate and ran to my parents crying and again they didn't catch the predator.

Third Scenario - A random guy again who used to be a tricycle driver keeps bothering me. At first, I acknowledged his kindness. He always wait outside our school just so he can still fetch me to my home. Fortunately, I am not alone when he always do that because I have my friend with me who lived meters away from our home. I was then curios as times goes by, he is starting to act strange and weird. He never lets me pay my fare, he always make sure I sit beside him, he always talk about his wife to me like how miserable he was with his wife and I felt something is wrong already. There is this one time when it happened that the only tricycle left was his and I needed to go home. He was again talking and I am responding as a sign of respect and a woman walks towards us and I then knew it was his wife. I suddenly heard an awful word and the woman ask if I am one of his mistresses. Of course I was shocked, as young as I am how could I be a mistress. From then on, I didn't want to ride on his tricycle anymore. The last creepiest encounter I got from him is when I was with my family. This time he was not with his tricycle but with a motor. He keeps calling my mom asking her for a ride and my mom rejects him since we are a family and we need a tricycle. My youngest sister out of the blue spoke. She said that guy keeps asking her about me and was  also offering her a free ride.

Imagine how young I was when I experienced all of that. I am still 18 years old and all of that happened 2 and 3 years ago. I had a lot of harassments and encounters but I just highlighted the worst ones.

These experiences brought pains and traumas that will never be taken away that easily from me. But these experiences pushed me to "Protect" "FIGHT" AND "SPEAK" on behalf of the victims.

But to summarize everything, I hope parents and anyone who cared about their daughters and children to must always remind them "TO NEVER TALK AND TRUST STRANGERS THAT EASILY. EVEN IF THEY SHOW THE KINDEST OF THEIR HEARTS. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO SHOWS CLEANEST SOUL AND MANIPULATE KIDS AND YOUNG ONES WITH THEIR KIND GESTURES WHEN ALL THEY WANT IS TO TAKE AWAY THEIR INNOCENCE AND RUINED THEIR LIVES."

 Just these past months, I discovered that the "tatay" that I respect dearly sa church namin is silently harassing me. I didn't know that not until an aunt warned me to never get close to him because that is his way to take advantage on me. I thought that the "gestures" he is giving me is normal for a "religious and friendly tatay" but I was wrong. After I was told how he really acted on some ladies I feel disgusted for myself. I feel betrayed that I let him touch me and bother me with his "paGood Tatay". Until now, whenever I see him I would go directly to the opposite path. 

Hopefully, we can help those who became victim of the cruelty of those who sexually harassed minors and women. 

LET'S TAKE ACTION TO END SEXUAL VIOLENCE!]]> 2021-08-29 06:01:07 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702395393 (Gender Inequality) https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702395640 The Person Living Next Door

I live in a place where the people in my neighbourhood are all my relatives. Even so, there is a little connection I have with them. Due to what I hear regarding their opinions on genders, I distant myself from them. The story is not about me, but about the person living next door. He has experienced being called "gay". His gender is used against him and it ignited hate from his family. Especially his father. He is not given financial support while he was still stydiying. Although he is not a recipient of violence, there is a time where he would be beaten up by words. Because of this experiences, as he ages, he chooses to move away from our place. He finds a job and stays there, for the better. My view gets afffected by this experience. I thought it would be easy for someone to live his life, without any question against his gender. Sad, isn't it? I am sadder for that person, because he isn't able to be accepted by his father, not until during his father's last breath. His father died last month. He already rested in peace. And I hope that person next door would also settle for peace, instead of going back to his past trauma. ]]> 2021-08-29 06:01:26 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702395640 THE WORLD AROUND ME ecnerwalcagas https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702396007 I have witnessed violence against any gender when I was still young and even up until this day. Most of the victims were woman and members of the LGBTQ+ community, I saw most of them being treated as lower class individuals that men could freely hurt physically and even emotionally. Some would say words that could tear one's heart and it's just sad. I believe that if we would all stand up against this kind of violence, we could really break this sad events and we could open up a new peaceful future.]]> 2021-08-29 06:02:09 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702396007 Unite rather than Divide https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702396930 I may not have experienced gender-based violence first-hand or witnessed it second-hand; nevertheless, it is imperative for each of us not to in any way tolerate any form of violence under all circumstances. Hence, everyone should respect and embrace diversity. Together, let us unite despite our differences.]]> 2021-08-29 06:03:36 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702396930 Secluded https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702399182 In our area, some places or sides are dark and not very visible to many people. When we were supposed to attend a birthday party at around 8 o'clock in the evening, we met this person we had known for a  long time already along the street. She came near us and told us that her ex-husband hurt her and attempted to run over her with his motorcycle. Due to that, we really suggested to her with our most genuine concern that it would be a wise decision to report it to the police station. She immediately agreed, and as she stated the whole scenario, she said that she was only trying to ask for financial support for their children, but then her ex-husband which is also drunk at that time, got angry. They were talking in a secluded area to have privacy, and when the guy got mad, he slapped the part between her head and cheek and even threatened to do cruel things to her if she will continue to insist on what she asked. The police noted her situation and told her that they would be reaching out to her once they can get to him at his workplace as soon as possible so that they can act accordingly on this matter.

]]> 2021-08-29 06:07:45 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702399182 My designer harassed me loi23alian https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702407099 It was JS Prom season. We we were all so excited to look for the best prom suits in town. We went inside different fashion house until we got inside this certain fashion house.

The personnel were very accommodating. They offered us plenty suits that we tried fitting-in. I finally found the suit that I thought was best for me. The designer came out from his office.

He went near to me, he held my waist and tried measuring it. While measuring my waist, I could feel his fingers hovering my "D". I didn't mind it at first but I realized he was there measuring my waist for a quite long time now. I knew there was something  off about it. Until he looked at me and that was the time that he groped my "D". I felt it. He squeezed it as I just stared.

I froze. I didn't know what to do.]]> 2021-08-29 06:21:35 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702407099 Not A Good Night For Feminine Boys https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702423426 On a Saturday evening, my Tito and I were walking on the dark streets of Corrales Avenue. A group of young adults, mostly male, were shouting "Ay, barbie, pa ch**a mi bi!" referring to us. They thought that the both of us were gays because of how feminine we talk and move. 

It is painful and offensive for us. Some people really haven't move on with dwelling in stereotyping. ]]> 2021-08-29 06:49:50 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702423426 Don't Blame the Clothes jmluchavez09 https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702448565 One of the most common stereotypes revolving around the victims of sexual violence is the cause of the event is connected to clothes. I've seen many women being disrespected and harassed for their choice of clothes. 

Seeing these kinds of things made me realize that we should plant the idea that blaming the victim is wrong, and the perpetrator is always the one to blame regardless of the clothes or the gender. 

]]> 2021-08-29 07:32:34 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702448565 I WAS EVICTED amalhayaha01 https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702455596 We were friends of three. And I was their Hermione Granger. But unlike her, I wasn't in a magical world. 

I never thought that one day, I will be evicted from our little group mainly because I am a girl. Ron promised to be a brother to me, but he never failed to made me feel like I was less of them just because of his toxic cultured ideology. 

I was blinded by the desire to hold on to the years of friendship that I endured all the gaslighting, let go of the discrimination, and ignored all the red flags.

I was fooled until he justified and wants to normalize sexual harassment and rape when we were talking about the viral flight attendant who was allegedly harassed. I never felt so unsafe. 

Imagine your bestfriend telling you like it will be your fault if he harassed you because of the way you dress and blame it on you.

After that incident, I gave up fixing him. I was evicted from the group I made but I'm glad I did.


P.S. Ron is toxic. But Harry is the complete opposite.
PP.S. Harry and I are still friends.]]> 2021-08-29 07:42:23 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702455596 Smart Shaming raymarjayp https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702463942 When I was in Senior High School. I was about to share my opinioyywhen my classmate whispers that I am dumb. I didn't notice that he reads my answer on my notes and yet he laughs at me. He thinks that I am dumb which I'm not because our teacher just asking our opinion so there is no wrong and correct answer. I felt worthless and incompetent. How should I develop something from myself when there's someone bringing me down?]]> 2021-08-29 07:55:47 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702463942 Be a Man! https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702480346 As a male individual, I have been stabbed numerous times with insensitive comments whenever I publicly express my emotions or issues. “Man up,” they say while pushing the idea that boys aren’t supposed to cry. I am still quite young, and yet, many people have already formed preconceived notions and standards on how I should think and behave as a man. 

It is saddening and painful, truly, to think how many times I have been treated differently by other people simply because I do not fit into the masculine characteristics they expect in a man. In fact, because of these instances, I have undoubtedly become more insecure about opening up to others for fear of being ridiculed or negatively judged.

Having a different gender from another person does not give you the right to discriminate against them and invalidate their feelings — and it should be time for society to know that.]]> 2021-08-29 08:18:18 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702480346 "Babae lang" https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702802198 I always thought my father was a progressive man.  He had, since the day I could walk, pushed me to excel in all areas of life. With this, I flourished in my academics, sports, and extracurriculars. I was always an achiever and a go-getter, and he raised me to believe I could do anything I set my mind to.

But when I told him I would run for class president, he frowned. When I told him I would study at UP, he shook his head. And when I told him I would be moving out, he got angry.

"Babae ka lang," he said. "You cant protect yourself alone in Manila."

A concerned parent.

"Babae ka lang," he said. "Staying here will cost less."

A financially strategic parent.

"Babae ka lang," he said. "You cant dream so big you risk outshining your future husband."

A bigot.

"So if I had balls like every other man you'd let me go?" I shot back.

"Yes."

Those words stung. 

I always thought my father was a progressive man.  He had, since the day I could walk, pushed me to excel in all areas of life. And yet I failed to see he was only pushing me to feats he deemed acceptable for women.

My father was not progressive. Not in this area, anyway. He was a sexist stuck in archaic beliefs of what women should and shouldn't do in society.

And the worse thing about it? It's that he's still my father.

Reina Villamor

]]> 2021-08-29 17:09:47 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1702802198 Irrelevant Questions https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1703067064 As a boy with inherently effeminate characteristics, I've been a subject to other's curiosity. My classmates, my friends, and even my family would sometimes question my sexuality. Some would even dare to tell me not act in a particular way, and some would laugh at me subtly— as if telling me that their insults are meant to be taken as a joke. 

It was very annoying and disappointing. But instead of totally changing myself, I learned the art of apathy. I think I was in 10th grade when I started to disregard people's questions and opinions about my gender. I've also worked hard academically to earn people's respect, with the hope that they would see my achievements and hesitate to question me about irrelevant things. Most of the time, it works. But every now and then, I still receive remarks that is really unnecessary.

Others may not see questioning people about their sexuality as a form of violence. But for me, it is. Such questions, such seemingly harmless remarks, limited my personal development. I doubted myself, I did unnecessary adjustments, and I am continuously affected by it. As a result of avoiding those irrelevant questions, I've been afraid of getting out of my comfort zone. I don't want the risk of committing mistakes for I have feared that they would come at me with those questions again. It's difficult to trust people and to open myself up; for I have built a wall that even I myself have a hard time climbing over.

I think it is very sad that this issue still persists. Despite all the changes that we have seen over the last few decades, our morals and norms seem to be crystallized and stucked in the past. I wish the day would come where not just our gender, but all our differences, would become irrelevant. As an aspiring educator, I will take it as my mission to teach my students important values and to respect and appreciate diversity. For if we are all the same, what a dull world would it be. ]]> 2021-08-30 00:17:17 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1703067064 To be a Heroine shairaong22 https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1704048047 Heroine, Heroine, Heroine 
What was the description of it? 
It is a woman admired or idealized for her courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.

Looking way back when I was young, my mom and dad always told me to be smart enough to be a heroine of someone, someone that needs my help. I always extend my hands to everyone that was in need of my help. I somehow regretted extending it, at a young age. My parents did a great job, but the society seems unhappy of it.

I learned to stood my ground, to protect a person who has been bullied. Being a heroine takes time, courage and knowledge to do it. If I saw someone who is being bullied, I always prepare myself to brace it. Brace the fact that in order to save someone you also need to take responsibility of it. Standing up for someone that is being bullied is an act of courage but being able to let the person who have been bullying all of his life know when to stop and change is another thing. It is bravery. Heroine. Heroine. Being in action is great but talking it out sexily and finding way out of it is another.

Shaira O. Mabao]]> 2021-08-30 07:47:38 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1704048047 Standards https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1704119464 Growing up, I've noticed na daghan jung tawo na naga downgrade sa mga kababaihan just for being themselves, it's because some of them believe na di na nila kaya kay "weak" kuno sila and "sensitive". 
 
People would also call guys that aren’t masculine enough sa ilang pagtan-aw or doesn't qualify to their standards of a man na “murag babaye”

Hearing these things as I grow old made me realize that these are insults and could hurt another person's feelings and that we should change this behaviour and educate people lalo na sa mga older generations.
 

]]> 2021-08-30 08:34:34 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1704119464 Privilege https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1716985164 "Dili maihap ang times nga na-catcall mi sa C3..."

Everything was just a post until I read this tweet of a close friend of mine. It felt like I was facing reality. 

Catcall-related tweets were never new to me. I have read a lot on Twitter, and I felt sad and disappointed how we men see the woman as a mere source of pleasure. I cannot fathom how and why there are guys who keep on catcalling innocent ladies. It was disgusting.

As I continued reading through my friend's tweet, I never knew I would get mad so early that morning. She was jogging with her two childhood friends, and almost 30 men catcalled them in just a short period. 

Who would not get frightened in that situation? Thirty versus three is a huge difference. Not only do these ladies get catcalled by men, but they were approached, asked, and stalked. It was more than just words and action. It was sexual harassment. 

Women get catcalled and teased by men because of the latter's privilege. Women do not get harassed because of their dress. They never were. In fact, my friend and her childhood friends had pants and sportswear. Women do not get harassed because of their actions. They were only jogging. Women do not get harassed because of their bodies and beauty. They have their rights to themselves. Women do not get harassed because there are no other men around. They have fathers and brothers who are always there for them.

Women get catcalled because men are entitled. Women get teased because men love to be pleased. Men's privilege never existed because of their advantages. They existed because women are disadvantaged.
]]> 2021-09-05 01:59:38 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1716985164 Elementary: A Molding Era https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1792782480 I always considered my elementary days critical to my molding of character because a lot of factors that shaped me as a persons started there because of many events such as peer pressure and gender discrimination. I  was lucky enough in high school that most people accept who they are but with a consequence of constant gossiping which is more threatening than ordinary but it depends on how the person talked about handles or perceives of it and if they can handle the environment. But I believe that people and institutes these days have provided ample opportunities for victim recovery and also preventive measures but it doesn't go the same in elementary.

Elementary is where the time how conservative thinking really influences a child's behavior. Teaching them what's good and bad can often lead to bullying and discrimination against their peers which is what happened to me. I was bullied by the so-called "men" in our classroom. Mocking my feminine behavior and lifestyle. I didn't resort to violence or asked any help because boys will be boys. It really did not disturb me because they were not a threat to my academic performance since most of them are low-performing students, still shocking to the point that they even graduated. Not that just, I also witnessed several instances of misogyny in our classroom where the girls are heavily harassed or discouraged because of their gender. I still do believe that people change but they did not repent for their sin which I considered immature. I wouldn't mind because they're just noise to society. They even have partners right now which is quite shocking regarding their background. I may sound bitter that they made it but I haven't been in contact with them so I don't know if they have the same thinking but my point is that the same issue still happens today, I often hear many conversations from children regarding their perspective and view on things such as how they see women, gay people, etc. and all of their responses are the same. Which I blamed societal norms for it. Parents molded their children to follow gender roles because they are afraid that their children will be discriminated against if they do not follow the norm. I was lucky that I was heavily respected but not every child has the same situation as I am. What I want for the future is to help their child be what's good for them and help them achieve their self-identity because constricting their views and opinions could either lead them being a bully or a victim and how much worse if they get into high school if they follow the same thinking. I think that's all, I'm sorry if the experience is not specific because it happened at elementary but I'm happy that I'm able to share my view on this.

Christ Tan]]> 2021-10-05 12:27:29 UTC https://padlet.com/wwagbv/e8t5mycyl7b5vx4k/wish/1792782480