Debbie
Neil.

Neil
Hello Debbie

Debbie
Hiya.

Neil
I didn't think you were here today.

Debbie
Yep. Just the trains… loads of delays.

Neil
Terrible, aren't they? Really awful. Next election, I tell you, I'm going to vote this lot out.

Debbie
Yeah, yeah things could be better. It's not great.

Neil
So, who do you vote for normally?

Debbie
Sorry?

Neil
Who do you vote for? Which party? Are you political? Are you a member of a party?

Debbie
Um… Um… I'm sorry, I'm sorry… I just… I've just… I've just got to speak to someone.

Neil
Yeah.

Debbie
Jim! Sorry. Jim!

Neil
See you later.

Neil voiceover
Let's see what our experts have to say about that.

Sam
I thought he made a really strong start with the transport and the delays. And she was willing to answer those questions and talk about it. And we love talking about delayed trains in the UK.

Kee
He could have talked about his own journey in.

Sam
Yeah.

Kee
But instead he went for something else.  

Sam
And yeah… you can… even talking about politics, the fact that there's a general election – fair enough, you can say, 'Oh yeah, things are interesting at the moment with the general election', but you could leave it there.

Kee
Sure, sure.

Sam
You wouldn't talk about who you voted for.

Kee
And also, they're in the canteen.

Sam
Yeah

Kee
'What did you buy?'

Kee/Sam
'What have you got for breakfast?' A lot of clues in there – things that you could talk about.  Absolutely.

Sam
He had something in his hand.

Kee
Yeah he had like a…

Sam
She was clearly on her way to get something.

Kee
Sure, yeah. And I think as soon as he asked that question, she was looking for an excuse to get away from him. So the signs were there, like you say.

Sam
Written all over her face.

Neil voiceover
Thanks for the tips, guys. I'll try harder next time.

Neil
Hey Callum!

Callum
Hey! Hey Neil, how's it going? Haven't seen you in ages…

Neil
It's been a while.

Callum
Yeah, yeah. How's the kids? How's the family?

Neil
Yeah, yeah. They're good, they're good. And you… I heard you've got a new job.

Callum
Yes I have, yes. Started a few weeks ago, yeah, yeah…

Neil
So… What's the salary?

Callum
Um… It's OK. I've got to go…

Neil
How much exactly? How much do they pay you?

Callum
Um… some. Enough.

Neil
What's the figure?

Callum
Sorry, I've got to run. See ya. Bye bye.

Neil
OK. Nice to see you. Bye. See ya.

Neil voiceover
Let's see what our experts have to say about that.

Sam
They seem to know each other; seem to have a little bit of knowledge of each other.

Kee
Absolutely. He's obviously found out that he's changed jobs.

Sam
Yeah, yeah. And he reacted really nicely to it.

Kee
Yeah, absolutely. Until he decided to ask how much he's earning.

Sam/Kee
Yeah. His salary.

Kee
Why would you not ask that question?

Sam
It's just not a common question. It's considered very rude to talk about money generally…

Kee
It is, isn't it?

Sam
But specifically money you make.

Kee
Right.

Sam/Kee
It's just not done. No, you wouldn't ask that, would you?

Sam
So, what do you think he could have done instead?

Kee
I think the obvious question is, 'How are you finding your new job?'

Sam
Yeah.

Kee
Are you enjoying it? You know, like, what are your colleagues like?

Sam
Yeah

Kee
Or even just asking about the job itself. 'What are you doing in your new job?' I think that's a standard thing to do rather than… 'So, what's your salary?'

Sam
Exactly.

Kee
And I think most people will want to talk about their new job.

Sam
Yeah definitely.

Kee
They'll want to tell the other person about what they enjoy and what they're not enjoying. But not this guy. Money.

Neil voiceover
Thanks for the tips, guys. I'll try harder next time.

Keith
Neil! Hi, how's it going?

Neil
Keith! How's it going?

Keith
Yeah, not too bad, thanks. Long time no see.

Neil
Yeah it's been a while, hasn't it? You've got kids now.

Keith
I do, yes. That's why I'm looking so old and awful.

Neil
Tiring, isn't it?

Keith
It is. It is.

Neil
So… how's your sex life?

Keith
Err…

Neil
You know…  your sex life. Is it going well?

Keith
I've got to errm…

Neil
OK, see you later.

Neil voiceover
Let's see what our experts have to say about that.

Kee
He obviously asked about his children, family. That's a kind of standard thing to talk about.

Sam
Yep

Kee
But then sex…

Sam
Yeah… No!

Kee
No, no

Sam/Kee
It's not a standard thing to talk about. Especially not at work.

Kee
Would you ever ask anyone about their sex life at work?

Sam
No, I don't think… no, no. I'm trying to think if I would ask even my closest friends.

Kee
Me too, yeah.

Sam
I don't think I would.

Kee
I'm starting to feel uncomfortable talking about it now.

Sam
I won't ask you that question.

Kee
Please don't!

Sam
So, because he had a good start, I was a bit surprised that he didn't just carry on talking about children or family. That seemed to be something they had in common.

Kee
Yeah, I think he was asking about, like, whether it's difficult… he's having difficulty raising kids.

Sam
Yeah

Kee
And I think he talks about having bags under his eyes.

Sam
Yeah

Kee
Lack of sleep

Sam
Yeah, yeah. There's lots of things you can go off… from there.

Kee
Absolutely. And if you've got your own… And if you've kids of your own, you could also maybe like give advice, talk about your own experiences…

Sam
Or talk about your own kids. He didn't.

Neil voiceover
Thanks for the tips, guys. I'll try harder next time.

Conversation Starters: English Phrases For Small Talk

 Shayna Oliveira  Speaking

Do you have difficulty speaking English? Sometimes the hardest part is simply starting a conversation. Here are some good conversation starters that native English speakers use in various real life situations – formal or informal, at work, school, or other contexts!

These aren’t especially “deep” conversation starters like you might want to use on a first date, when you’re interested in getting to know someone extremely well. Instead, they are more suited for “small talk” – casual conversation about topics of general interest.

With close friends, you can use informal conversation starters like these:

The correct answer to “What’s up?” is “Not much.” You can then add a detail about what’s happening in your life at the moment. If someone says “How’s it going?” you can answer “Good” or “Not so good” and then say why.

In the office, use slightly more formal English, like these common expressions:

You can talk about projects you’re working on, hobbies you have outside work, a favorite TV show, etc. Current national and international news can also be a conversation starter. Another good question is to ask about the other person’s weekend – either the most recent weekend or the upcoming weekend.

Here are some common conversation starters with someone you see after a long separation:

In this case, you can ask about news in your friend’s work, study, family, and hobbies. The friend will probably ask you about recent developments in your own life, too.

If you’re at a party or wedding, you can start a conversation by asking how the person knows the host of the party (or the people getting married). You can also comment about the food and drinks, or about the music.

The expression “I don’t think we’ve met” can be used in professional situations too. You can ask about the person’s job, what company they are from, and their opinions about the conference events.

Imagine you have a friend, Nora, who introduces you to her friend Ryan. You can ask about how they know each other, and about Ryan’s job. If Nora says Ryan is a student, you can ask about his area of study and what year of college he’s in. If Nora introduces Ryan as a journalist, or a friend from yoga class, or a musician, you can ask about how long he has done that activity, or how he first got interested in it. His answer will then provide material to continue the conversation.

If you’re in a park, on the street, etc., conversation starters often involve talking about the weather or other things you can easily observe in the area.

The secret to starting a conversation with someone you don’t know is to make a comment about the current social context. Here are a few examples of how to do this:

As in the example of the coffee shop and playground, conversation starters don’t necessarily need to be direct questions. You can simply make a comment to the other person, and this is like an invitation for the other person to comment, too. This can then begin a conversation.