Dating and relationships by Jay Van Dam

My beliefs on Abstinence and Relationships

jvand02 — 2018-08-21 01:33:18 UTC

I believe that absence (in regards to withholding from sexual based relationships) is important and even in today mixed society it plays a huge role in creating marriage quality. However, because of mixed world views and western society, I don’t despise or disagree with peoples own perspective on sex before marriage, I just encourage that commitment should be made first and not just casual sex. My view on relationships and the role of sex stems from Gods promises and his love. He first loved me and from his grace I can now love others, in this was I have a deeper respect for myself and for the men around me. This world view has helped me see that theres more to love then just physical intimacy.

‘Abstinence has no relevance or wisdom for today’s youth’ – Agree or disagree?

jvand02 — 2018-08-21 01:34:43 UTC

Spirituality or religios impacts on people’s decisions on abstinence

jvand02 — 2018-08-28 09:02:32 UTC

I believe that cultural background and beliefs (such as Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hindu, and more) shape ones opinion on sex and intimacy, but the choice in the end is always up to the individual. From my own Christian perspective, there came a time when I had to choose what I was willing to do and what boundaries I needed to have to keep myself safe. A lot of these boundaries came from the respect I wanted to have for myself and were based on past experiences and what I had learnt from the bible.

jvand02 — 2018-08-28 09:05:52 UTC

Different views on abstinence

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 00:14:00 UTC

An article by M. Collins, 2014 shows a study on premarital experiences and there impact. The Article stats, “Couples who “slide” rather than “decide” their way through life changing traditions like having sex, living together and becoming pregnant are less likely to report high-quality marriages.” Another American study shows “[2004] by age 44, 95% of respondents (94% of women, 96% of men, and 97% of those who had ever had sex) had had premarital sex,” could this be why divorce rate is ranging from 53%-70% across the world.

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 00:16:38 UTC

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 00:18:56 UTC

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 00:22:23 UTC

Scriptures about dating and abstinence

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 00:24:33 UTC

So dose abstinence have any relevance?

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 00:25:11 UTC

It can be noted that relationships in this day and age is based mainly on physical attraction and this idea of conditional love. Sex has become dirt and the beauty in it removed. This is why creating boundaries for ones self is important (may include abstinence), it protects and will give you a greater meaning to sex and marriage. I personally view abstinence as vital to me, as it allows me to for fill my plans without giving to much of my self away to someone I haven’t made a true commitment with. Sex is beautify and should be treated as so.

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 00:26:54 UTC

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jvand02 — 2018-09-04 00:29:41 UTC

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jvand02 — 2018-09-04 00:30:14 UTC

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 00:31:27 UTC

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1 corinthians 6:9-11 TPT

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 00:44:04 UTC

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 00:50:12 UTC

Hebrews 13:4 NLT

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 00:51:04 UTC

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:00:24 UTC

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:01:22 UTC

Advice

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:05:47 UTC

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:06:03 UTC

In Afghanistan when people begin to date, manny parents organise chaperones to protect and look after there children. This can also be an amazing piece of advice for young people in weston societies; to keep yourself safe make sure to not compromise your own protection. When going to parties or out, go in groups. When you first start dating don’t let yourself be completely alone with them, you have the power to keep yourself safe, and protect yourself from any legal claims.

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:07:48 UTC

Another piece of advice is to create boundaries as the Christians do. When going into relationships its important to understand motives, of yourself and your partner. Talking about yourselves in the future can reveal if your relationship will work, and can safe guard you against pain later. Creating personal boundaries will also insure your own welfare. Its better to start with something that you stand for than letting someone possibly manipulate you.

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:11:37 UTC

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:14:44 UTC

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:15:42 UTC

Its also good to take another cue from Afghanistans, where marriages are very family organised, and family is highly prioritised. A piece of advice is to engage your partner into your family, doing so can allow stronger bonds to form in your relationships and also protect you from further stresses.

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:19:14 UTC

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:20:19 UTC

In todays high demand for love, its important to see marriage as the medieval Christians did, as marriage was a commitment in the eyes of God. There respect for the process shows sometimes we need to allow the dating period to happen, don’t rush, and allow small beginnings to matter. Friendship is where all good relationships start.

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:21:56 UTC

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:22:44 UTC

We can also learn a lot from the Amish and Muslims cultures, they celebrate modesty and self respect. When dating its good to have fun but can also be important to priorities ones own mental journey, making sure we aren’t being used or abused. Modesty leads to higher self respect and can create amazing self esteem. Take care of your own image and how you see yourself.

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:28:30 UTC

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:28:48 UTC

Lastly we can learn a lot from the Egyptians, who had a high respect for woman. In relationships the man doesn’t always have to pay, and respect doesn’t need to come just from the men, women don’t need to be a stereotypical ‘house wife.’ This day and age is about all providing and the couple working together, to grow and learn from each other.

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:31:43 UTC

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:32:37 UTC

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Biblyography

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:33:07 UTC

jvand02 — 2018-09-04 01:33:43 UTC

hhPopescu, RA n.d., The Roots of the Sexual Revolution in the 1960s United States, accessed 4 September 2018, <https://www.historia.ro/sectiune/general/articol/the-roots-of-the-sexual-revolution-in-the-1960s-united-states>.

Engel, P 2014, Divorce Rates Around The World, accessed 4 September 2018, <https://www.businessinsider.com.au/map-divorce-rates-around-the-world-2014-5?r=US&IR=T>.

Finer, LB 2007, Trends in Premarital Sex in the United States, 1954–2003, accessed 4 September 2018, <https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1802108/>.