Do Hard Things by Zoe Grace

FIND:

zoegoleski — 2024-02-07 18:30:06 UTC

FIND OR CREATE:

zoegoleski — 2024-02-07 22:19:58 UTC

FEEL:

zoegoleski — 2024-02-17 00:34:45 UTC

This song goes through the feeling of not having what others have, but having a positive perspective of it. Kinda like how I can see the world as challenging for me, but looking for the good in the manageable.

ENVISION/REFLECT:

zoegoleski — 2024-02-17 00:36:33 UTC

GOAL:

I will put all my effort into class. Although that may change day to day, I will put forward everything I have in order to benefit and grow.

ENVISION/REFLECT:

zoegoleski — 2024-02-17 00:38:12 UTC

Define Judgment and expectations according to process-oriented goals:

Through this goal, I can feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of class. If I were to throw it away and coast through, I am almost certain I will feel worse then when I came in (and judge myself for not working hard lol).

ENVISION/REFLECT:

zoegoleski — 2024-02-17 00:39:40 UTC

Course-correct for stress:

When I am stressed in class for not getting a combination or phrase, I will break it into smaller, manageable pieces to tackle one at a time.

ENVISION/REFLECT

zoegoleski — 2024-02-17 00:42:12 UTC

Prime Your Mind:

In a way, I think clearing my mind will prepare me for entering a situation like class. Although its not always good, leaving everything going on in my life outside of class puts me in a position where I am more open to opportunities and improving (whether that be in dance or in mindfullness).

LOWER THE BAR

zoegoleski — 2024-02-17 00:45:34 UTC

Not feeling good enough in comparison to others
Getting tired, having no motivation
Feeling stuck, not feeling improvement

SHED PERFECTION

zoegoleski — 2024-02-17 00:54:45 UTC

I am not flexible at all
I am consistently late to most things
I don't have a strong sense of balance (in dance lol)
↓
I consistently stretch everyday!
Although I might be late, I am quick to engage as soon as I get there.
Even though I cant balance well, I power through and find joy in my effort.

TRUST YOURSELF

zoegoleski — 2024-02-17 00:57:41 UTC

I can trust myself to always find a positive outlook in class. Even when I am not feeling okay or have negative feelings, I can always lean on my peers and friends. I can find joy within other people and have fun.

TRUE CONFIDENCE SONG

zoegoleski — 2024-02-17 01:00:09 UTC

REAL CONFIDENCE ROLE MODEL

zoegoleski — 2024-02-17 01:04:04 UTC

My best friend from home, Braxton, is definitely a confidence role model for me. We danced together for years, and i've learned so much from him. He always approaches everything with complete confidence even if he messes up or isn't too sure. This goes back to Magness' perspective on confidence, even if you have weaknesses, you can make them into a strength. I also feel like i've recieved confidence from him, both direct and indirect.

TAKEAWAY

zoegoleski — 2024-02-17 01:08:33 UTC

A big takeaway I got from this chapter was the outlook on self-esteem. Ive always viewed self-esteem and the lack of it as a problem, and I could never be confident. However, the text goes into detail about how self-worth is dependent on others. I shouldn't base my confidence on external factors, and truly whats internal is all that matters.

RAISE THE FLOOR

zoegoleski — 2024-03-05 04:31:47 UTC

Looking at others as a mean of inspiration. Taking things I like about their unique movement and applying it to myself.

When i'm tired, I can use it as a skill to push through and tackle hard things. Which in the end, I feel a sense of accomplishment. I made it past that by the end of class!
When I feel like i'm not improving fast enough, I think of dance as a process not instant gratification. Nobody sees immediate growth in one class, and I can have an attitude that zooms out to see the whole picture. ⬅ Give yourself time and grace.

FEEL:

zoegoleski — 2024-03-05 04:38:31 UTC

A self-talk habit I tend to have is the feeling of not being good enough and comparing myself to others.

FIGURE OUT:

zoegoleski — 2024-03-05 04:39:29 UTC

I figured out that my self-talk only negatively affects my dancing/focus. When I have positive self-talk, I am much more productive and continue to grow instead of holding myself back.

BOOK TAKEAWAY:

zoegoleski — 2024-03-05 04:39:51 UTC

One book takeaway that I will take with me is that toughness is not necessarily being tough. That being disciplined and powerful are not the gold standard of toughness. It was very interesting and introspective for me as I was raised to think thats really what tough is. However, I will go through class with this new idea of toughness meaning giving yourself space to go through hard things.

DISCOVERY:

zoegoleski — 2024-03-05 04:43:20 UTC

I was surprised by the whole process of A&M's rise to success. There's a lot of connections I can make from football to dance, especially in ways i've been treated in my dance journey.

SKILL:

zoegoleski — 2024-03-05 04:43:39 UTC

A skill that I've learned in contemporary is the act of breathing and breath throughout movement. This gives me more grace when doing hard things, and helps me sit in a spot where I can process.

BOOK TAKEAWAY:

zoegoleski — 2024-03-05 04:44:05 UTC

One takeaway that will stay with me is listening to your inner thoughts, no matter if they lead you to failure or a decision. They're thoughts for a reason and we should take them into account (both good and bad). Processing and working with yourself not against.

CHOOSING TO BE TOUGH:

zoegoleski — 2024-03-05 04:55:43 UTC

I really resonate with Magness' point about "Choosing to be Tough" and I find myself using that as a response too often. I always want to be in control, even if that means jeopardizing my mental health, or if it means freedom.

LEADING YOURSELF:

zoegoleski — 2024-03-05 05:00:54 UTC

One exercise I have successfully used recently is 4. Adopt a Ritual. Sometimes, I find it hard to even get out of bed on time for my classes. However, by adopting a ritual, I am much more productive and motivated to do things. I wake up at 9 or 10 am, and make a coffee or tea right away. I give myself plenty of time to get ready before my day, so I feel refreshed and ready. I don't do this every single day, but I strive to.

LEADING OTHERS:

zoegoleski — 2024-03-05 05:06:07 UTC

I think 3. Allow them to fail, reflect, and improve is a exercise I see a lot in class and I really appreciate it. Especially with corrections, when you give us a point to work on, we don't necessarily "fail" at something, but it gives us a moment to reflect on new ways to approach a concept and improve. Not only this, but this is definitely a process you are super open about even when we talk at the beginning and end of class!

PROMPT 1 - FEEL

zoegoleski — 2024-03-05 05:15:39 UTC

Based on the section, "Messenger or Dictator?", think about a time that you felt much better after interpreting your feelings, not ignoring.

I am definitely guilty of pushing my emotions away in order to forget about them, when really evaluating and sitting in them is way better in the long run. When i've gotten into disagreements with friends or family, I like to forget it even happened. However, sitting down and talking about it created a much better sense of security/closure within myself.

PROMPT 2 - SONG

zoegoleski — 2024-03-05 05:24:43 UTC

Choose a song based on how our feelings can inform or predict us.

PROMPT 3 - FIND

zoegoleski — 2024-03-05 05:28:18 UTC

Which nuance exercise do you resonate most with? And which one will you implement in order to reach a goal?

I think exercise 2 "Name it" is something I will keep in mind when implementing goals. Especially Describe the Feeling. I want to start getting into journaling, and I think assessing how I feel day to day will help me become more balanced.

MENTAL HABITS/SKILLS

zoegoleski — 2024-04-02 03:07:24 UTC

A mental habit/skill I applied during the conference was being flexible. I helped out a lot with mundane tasks like cleaning, moving things, setting up and such, and I learned to be very adaptable for the people around me. Having an open mind as well as being open to help worked for me! Anytime someone needed to have something done, I was ready to help.

CHALLENGING

zoegoleski — 2024-04-02 04:53:09 UTC

Something challenging that occurred during ACDA was honestly just the time it took. Planning around when I had to be there! I responded to it by planning ahead and taking out time during my free parts of the day to work on homework, hanging out with friends, and work. I was also able to apply points from Chapter 3, define judgement and expectations. Instead of coasting through, I worked when I had to and felt better afterwards.

HORIZON GOAL

zoegoleski — 2024-04-02 04:58:17 UTC

Something I discovered during the conference was how meeting others will ultimately lead to better self discovery and understanding. By being able to meet people from different backgrounds, places, and journeys, I found myself realizing there are so many things I can do further down the line in a career. Working not only in dance environments, but the workings of them as well (behind the scenes). Setting up classes, company opportunities, etc. I can begin working towards this goal by going out of my comfort zone and talking to new people, and learning something about myself through others.

HELPLESS CHILD

zoegoleski — 2024-04-02 05:02:18 UTC

When watching my midterm solo, my inner helpless child definitely came out. I watched the video, and instantly said everything negative about it. I looked stiff, tired, awkward, and lacked control. In that, I thought "oh well, that sucks, theres nothing I can do, I just suck!". I thought I had no control over those things and the thoughts itself.

TWO OTHER SELVES

zoegoleski — 2024-04-02 05:07:45 UTC

↑

My Ambivalent Parent might look at the thoughts my Helpless Child has and say that's okay to feel that way! You can grow beyond that. My Calm Optimist would tell my Helpless Child that you are not worth what a singular video says.

ME TO SHE

zoegoleski — 2024-04-02 05:10:37 UTC

I noticed that when I talk to myself using this distance, I give myself much more grace. When thinking about myself as another, I am much more nice and see the better in myself. It's not an instant realization, but I think if we treat ourselves like we treat others, it puts these negative thoughts into perspective. How could I say these things about myself when I would never say it about someone else.

POSITIVE/NEGATIVE

zoegoleski — 2024-04-02 05:17:42 UTC

I do think self talk is an effective tool. When I think to myself, I should work harder or I can get better at this, it definitely keeps me motivated! There are some circumstances when positive self talk is the thing I need, however (sadly to say) more stern, "negative" self talk motivates me more. When I tell myself the things I don't necessarily like, I fight more to improve them. Especially when I'm tired, I tell myself "Do you really want to give up?" and I can respond with "No! I'll power through."

EXCERSISE

zoegoleski — 2024-04-23 20:11:00 UTC

For this activity, I chose to practice Noticing: Practice Boredom. I sat in my bed for five minutes, closing my eyes with no distractions (complete silence in my room). I ultimately starting thinking of the stressors in my life, and continued to expand on those. Obviously, I had the urge to check my phone, and I did (low and behold there was nothing to check). Checking my phone did bring me out of it, but I tried my best to get back in when I was done. This wasn't too challenging, as I feel like I do this type of activity before falling asleep.

TAKEAWAY

zoegoleski — 2024-04-28 20:29:03 UTC

One takeaway I got from the chapter was the concept of "Upekkha". Upekkha is equanimity in the face of loss. The book describes it as calmness, composure, evenness. I feel like this is something I can utilize throughout my life, obtaining and upholding the value of calmness.

EXCERSISE

zoegoleski — 2024-04-28 20:35:14 UTC

I chose the "Physical zooming" exercise that focuses on mood following action. I did this with my roommates and didn't tell them the concept of general and specific depending on where you were sitting. I gave them the pictures (just some from my camera roll) and told them to categorize them. I saw slight correlation in where they were sitting to the categories they made, and it was really interesting to see!

TAKEAWAY

zoegoleski — 2024-04-28 20:42:29 UTC

The example of the snowball on the hill is something I want to remember. Using that as a metaphor for toughness, when it starts getting overwhelming, you cant just sit there and let it come at you. You must find new ways to minimize the damage. I want to apply this to my life and learn to tackle toughness with more grace.

CONVERSATION

zoegoleski — 2024-04-28 20:50:12 UTC

For this activity, I chose to have a conversation about fulfilling our basic needs with my mom on the phone. Magness talks about the hierarchy of needs that includes not only physiological needs but psychological as well. My mom talked a lot about how she feels like she doesn't uphold those psychological needs as well, and tends to neglect them during stressful times. I 100% feel the same way, finding that I help others before helping myself. Having this vulnerable conversation with my mom was honestly really different than most talks I have with her, and I think we bonded on a different level.

TAKEAWAY

zoegoleski — 2024-04-28 20:54:52 UTC

One big takeaway that I got from this chapter was how Magness talks about conceptualizing toughness as a society, not just on an individual level. The entire book talks about strategize that we can use to tackle our own toughness, but we can take a step back and see how society has made being tough look. People/Companies are considered tough when they're the loudest and most inspirational, but behind closed doors do they really uphold this? This was really interesting to read as it opened my eyes to what i've even been accustomed to, appearance without substance.

BIG PICTURE

zoegoleski — 2024-04-28 20:59:58 UTC

Something from "Do Hard Things" that i've worked on intentionally this semester has been shedding perfection (from Chapter 4). I have been able to acknowledge the things I don't necessarily like about myself, but turn around and think of the accommodations I can do to improve them. Dance wise, I look at myself and say "Wow, I look awkward," then think of the ways I can improve myself to not look awkward. This has definitely changed my ability to do hard things and has given me more purpose in wanting to better myself, rather than feeling hopeless.