For the first 7 years of my life, I’ve always lived with my grandparents in Philippines while my mom went back to university. For the most part, I had it great. I was 7 years old on a tropical island where there’s a lot of things to discover and I had my grandparents to raise me. I don’t exactly remember my mom being there a lot but when she was, I always remember being happy. There was always a vivid memory of sharing ritz cracker with her, the time where it was midnight mass for Christmas/New Years and I would always be grumpy, and the time where she brought me to her work (she used to work at a resort) and let me go snorkeling. 

My mom never had a lot but she worked hard, she still does, to provide and support me.  I always heard the story of her joining a singing contest for money to buy my milk. My mother was always my biggest supporter and encouraged me to work hard in whatever I invest my time and effort in. When I started track and field, she always made me work out even though I didn’t want to, she drove me to training and picked me up from practices, she paid (along with my step-dad) for training camps. Its thanks to her continuous support that I have excelled in many of my extracurricular activities.  

The concept of being a mother, well, there is a lot that can go in to being a mother and even more to motherhood. To care and sacrifice for your child, to make sure they have the discipline, skill, knowledge, and abilities to be a decent human being. My mom has disciplined me on what was right and what was wrong, she has pushed me to pursue a great career and go to college and encouraged me to work hard in what I do. As much as my mom protects and disciplines me, she is also a friend. I can’t tell you how much my mom and I have joked around. As far as I know, Filipinos love karaoke. We love to sing and my mom and I aren’t any different. We have had a lot of mini karaoke sessions much to my dad’s horror, I’m not going to say my mom’s a horrible singer but I on the other hand… yeah. We also have had our “girl’s night” of pampering, my mom and I like to take care our skin, like face masks and creams then sit down with a movie whether it be a corny movie like The Notebook or The Pirates of the Caribbean or The Intern but never horror. To me, being a mom isn’t easy and I don’t think it ever will be, I don’t think I ever made it easy for my mom. I was always stubborn and argued with her but in the end, I would say my mom’s my best friend and hero. 

In the dominant/agent group, my family was in middle class. We live comfortably but for my parents, that wasn't always the case for them. My mom grew up with eight other siblings in a third world country and my step-dad grew up in Guam where he had two other siblings, neither of their families had a lot but here they are. My parents are hard-working people and they wouldn't be where they are now if they didn't put in the work required. I volunteered at an inner-city school last semester for English 101, teaching kids to read and comprehend who were under their grade level, and there I really realized a lot of people don’t have it as easy as I do. Holabird Academy was not really what I imagined an elementary or what a school would be. First, the place was in front of a cemetery and upon more research, I learned that the school does not have drinkable water which means the kids can't drink out of the water fountains or the faucets because its contaminated with lead. Another dominant group I have is I have an able body. I had the pleasure of being able to do track for four years during high school and excel a little bit at it. I was blessed to have experienced the thrill of running and winning a race while others my age couldn’t have done that. 

 Another part that caught my attention, though I wasn’t entirely surprised by it, was “I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.” It was only then that I remembered there were a number of times throughout my life that people commented that it’s because I am Asian that I can do this task or assignment, they don’t acknowledge that it was through my hard work and perseverance that I completed this task and not because of what my race is. The stereotypical statement of “Asians are good at math” is not true, I personally suck at math and another Asian may not suck at it, they may just get the concept faster than someone can. The fact that someone can judge what I can do based on my race just shocks me, they don’t take in consideration what I have done to get there or how much work I put in.

 A thing that really shocked me on the Non-trans privilege or Cisgender Privilege list was the “When I go to the gym or a public pool, I can use the showers.” It never came to mind that people who are trans or identify as another anything other than female or male cannot do something basic as go to the showers or maybe even the bathroom. That they have to go through this hardship, even scanning through the whole list, it still shocks me that people are not as accepting and trans people have to go through thing such as their own safety while going to public showers and bathrooms. They constantly have to worry about other people and their reactions.

Despite being the Black Panther, a hero, and unlike any other character we’ve seen in a superhero movie so far, T’Challa is also a king. He has so much more responsibilities than the majority of superheroes and the movie does a good job of reminding viewers that T’Challa is a king and his responsibility is to his people. It’s not like Stark Industries or Wayne Enterprises, him being a king really factors into his identity because that’s his heritage and the decisions he will make will (forced or not) will be his own destiny and Wakanda’s.

When T’Challa finds out about what his father did, killing his own brother, which went against his own lofty ideals. He struggles with the realization of how his father’s actions was against what he was taught and in the end, it made T’Challa question his own responsibilities. His identity before Killmonger was built up from ancestry and his family. During his fight with Killmonger, it felt like because of what his father did, T’Challa carries guilt and burden which would probably be the cause of why he practically gave up the fight. He knew he would have to kill Erik to get the throne and he was hesitant and vulnerable, in that hesitation Erik won the fight and he lost the title of King and Black Panther.

 Ultimately, T’Challa lets go of tradition and does what will be right to help the rest of the world, unlike Tony Stark where it is to boast about doing the right thing or workout emotional issues like Batman, T’Challa’s is about honor and that plays well into his character and identity. He thought of his people and how Wakanda could benefit from the world and how the world could benefit form Wakanda. 

Erik Killmonger is a bit different from T’Challa, you could say the complete opposite of identities. We understand that his childhood betrayal (the murder of his father) grows in to a furious rage against racial injustice and this becomes a part of his identity. He has faced racial injustice out in the world while a Native Wakandan has been able to escape the hate and prejudice from the world. He wants to uphold his dad’s beliefs on releasing weapons and help aid people like him who have been oppressed and to rise up again their oppressors. He also holds a grudge to T’Challa for holding back Wakandan help and that his father killed his. When he won in the ritual and is faced by his father’s ghost, his vulnerability is shown but that also means what he’s done to beat that down and become what he is.

In the end Erik Killmonger’s motives sway T’Challa’s decision, amongst other factors, to reveal what Wakanda has. T’Challa agreed that the Wakandan way of life, of hiding away from the conflicts of the outside world is wrong and he take the necessary steps to change that, offering what Wakanda has to the world. 

There was also another character who presented struggle with themselves and also carried a burden with her. General Okoye is a ferocious general and is loyal to her causes, especially Wakanda. She is portrayed as a strong warrior woman who is loyal to Wakanda. Her determination and perseverance to serve Wakanda gives the film another take on honor and duty, which carves out her identity. Okoye was torn when Killmonger was named King, her personal loyalty to T’Challa and her duty as the general of the Dora Milaje. T’Challa comes back alive to finish the challenge and she quickly sides with him, her bravery and loyalty to her country is a key component to stopping a full blown civil war from happening.

English 102

Professor Rudham

When They Call You A Terrorist Part one

Police / Prison

As I follow Patrisse’s story in Part One, I can see how devastating it is to see the police, the ones that are supposed to serve and protect, treat her brothers with force and brutality, especially her older brother Monte who she describes as a kind person. As the story continues to show us more of the police’s treatment to her family and neighborhood, my initial reaction was horrified and then fear. I was horrified because of the treatment Monte and her other brother went through, especially when she says when her brothers and their friends were not doing anything yet the police “roughly touch my brother’s bodies, even their privates” (34). Although we, as a society, have a positive image on what the police are and should be doing, the reality of it is very different from it. There are stories emerging of police brutality all across the nation and these situations are especially happening to black people and minorities. Which leads to to my reaction of fear. As a minority in America and learning that these situations are happening across the nation to minorities, it does not make me feel safe. It makes me question whether I’ll be shot the next time I’m stopped by police when they ask for a driver’s license or if doing absolutely nothing will be the cause of my arrest or being raped. As the story progresses on, Patrisse talks more about the prison. She goes on about what they prisoners due and that they are cheaper than workers. She describes what happened to Monte as “they beat him and they kept water from him and they tied him down, four point hold, and they drugged him nearly out of existence.” Patrisse doesn’t sugar coat any of the things she or her family has experienced, she gets straight to the point and I feel that’s what the audience needs. Why should she sugar coat these things when its the truth of what happened to her brother and her neighborhood.

This theme has left me wondering about my own safety, my family, and my friends. There is not a time when I’m not worried about my own safety when I go out but now I have to worry about the police too. I shouldn’t be worried about the police when they are the ones that are supposed to protect us from criminals but instead they are killing black people and minorities. I worry about my mother going out to Baltimore for her job and I worry if she is going to come back home safe. I fear for my black friends who more than anyone is in danger of facing this racist act of being killed without reason and I also fear for their parents, losing a child should not be what a parent ever experiences.

I have been wondering what is the motivation behind these actions. Why are they killing innocent people? How is it that America’s prison is so much more different than the ones in Norway? Where prisoners are not behind bars, where they are not brutally  beaten or abused, or raped. Why is it that law enforcement is corrupt to the point where these murders have to happen without reason except racism?