When Shadow got that text he ran away, he ran so fast. Mainly because he's faster than sonic.Hes faster than sonic.

Which is exactly his problem, Sonic the fucking hedgehog.

He's so stupid and blue and a silly little guy so silly and so blue. It's a lot of blue. He's kind of an eyesore somtimes but that's okay s shadow still likes him. He thinks. It's a very complicated thing he has with sonic. Hes the ADHD to his autism. The sonic to his boom. The egg to his man. The scorpian to his subzero. The moon to his piss. Anyway they were close. A little too close somtimes. Close in a very homo way. Maybe because the only thing they do is race and make out sloppy style. But it's okay. It's not gay. They have socks. Trust. It's only gay when there both being gay. Which never happens because Shadow loves heavy breasted women. Boobs. Not dick. He's NOT a cocksucker. No matter how gay the sex is with sonic it's NOT gay. It's satire. It's just fun and whimsy and maybe shadow enjoys it alot but that's okay.

So that's why he was panicking when he received the text. He was freaking the fuck balls out. What the shit does sonic mean "he's in love with him" it's causel like that Chapelle roan song except neither or them are lesbians. Aw rats. Shadow loves lesbians, and Latinas.

Anyway back to shadows problem which is the blue guy. It's been 30 minutes and shadow has not responded. He just left sonic on read like a coward. Because he is one. It got to the point where sonic texted him again.

"Hahaha I got you you hot topic wanna be, April fools"

It was March, which is close but not close enough. Rats shawdow sucks when it comes to his feelings. He's a silly guy like that. So he just doesn't do anything. At all. He just leaves him on read while he tries to process what's going on. It's not working very well. He doesn't know how to feel. So he ignores it. Like a little coward.

Months pass and they act like nothing happend.

They hung out like normal. Listen to awsome music. Like Mr beast epic rap battles of history, and The FNAF soundtrack, and Jax vs skibidi toleit epic edeging battle! And Rapping For Jesus! And a bunch of other really cool music. They would still stay up super duper late and eat nachos and play every video game to ever exist! Including chess on chess dot com! Sonic would win alot because he's just built like that. What a nerd. Shadow loves nerds. But that's another story for another time.

Next thing you know it's been a year. Woza a whole year. That's like 365 days. Wow. It was a little werid to think about honestly. It's not like shadow was thinking about it alot though, only at night. And it was just in the back of his mind. It also helped that it was never mentioned between the two of them ever.

It wasn't until maybe 3 years that he ever thought about it agian. That's a long ass time. That's like 365x3 days which is alot of days!

Shadow was having a sleepover with sonic when it came to him agian. it was kind of like in the middle of the night when you get an amazing idea and can't sleep at all. Expect it was realizing that you were in love with the guy you were right next too. So instead of sleeping he got up from the bed.

"Hey shawdoe where are you going?" They were in the middle of watching their favorite movie Ninja mime 3. Specifically the third one. But they've watched it 937 times so it doesn't matter if shadow leaves.

"Bathroom" WRONG he was going outside but he didn't want sonic to follow him so he just said that.

"I see" Sonic then proceeded to watch ninja mime.

Shadow then just sat outside touching grass. He needed too anyway. He then thought about his feelings and what evything means. he does think sonic is a skibidi toilet Ohio sigma rizzler. He's always mugging on knuckles. He sucks. All he wants is grapes. Fucking cherry looking fool. Nobody knows the way. He needs to calm down and learn how to speak proper English. He's not the hulk he can't just smash everything.

Anyway enough with that stupid red stoner.

Shadow might actually have feelings for sonic. Is this what sex does? Make you feel the L word for somone? NOT lesbains! Or lost! having sex with sonic does NOT make shadow a lesbain or make him lost!! No he actually really enjoys it! And he really enjoys sonic! And he might actually love sonic! Which is somthing. And he decides that he must tell him RIGHT NOW!!!

Shadow pulls up his big boy pants takes a breath and walks back inside to his room with sonic who was still watching Ninja mime. He then walked up to sonic. Took the iPad away from him and threw it out the window.

"Hey buddy I was watching that!"

"Sorry sonic" Shadow then sits down and faces him.

"Listen we need to talk"

"Yes we do! You threw Johnathen Carlton out the window"

"I said sorry"

"It's fine" sonic was obviously sad about it but that's okay because they need to talk anyway!

"Listen sonic my best pal. We have to talk"

"Am I in trouble?" Sonic was Infact not in trouble.

"No I have to tell you something"

"Oh whats up?"

"I'm in love with you sonic" Shawdow was scared but he was glad he said it. But he wasn't expecting silence.utter silence.

"Shadow Listen I appreciate it. I really do but I don't feel that way"

*What the fuck* what does he mean he doesn't feel that way? This is bullshit! He said it like 3 fucking years ago!

Sonic then continues

"I'm really sorry but feelings change and you basically ignored it. So it faded over time. I'm sorry"

Shadow was sad. He was angry. He was alot of emotions.

"...oh I uh, I see"

"Yeah"

It was silent for a bit, for awhile they both kind of just sat there.

"Shadow I think I'm going to go home, thanks for having me over"

"Yeah yeah, bye see you later"

He did Infact not seeing him later. Shadow stopped talking to sonic after that, cut all ties and just stopped.

They never talked after that.

Anyway, now Johnny's pectorals are HUGE! In the city of New York! He's getting hit on by a LOT of strangers, but it's fine because fuck it, they ball.

Kenshi wanted to go to a baking class because he's always wanted to bake something, but it's a little hard with his...visual impairments. So they decided to take a couple's baking class where Johnny will do all the work and be a malewife and oh my GOD his pecs are HUGE. goon goon goon goon goon.

Uhhh. Kenshi was busting in his pants at the idea of making a chocolate cake in the shape of a heart. Johnny was excited too, but he was also nervous for some reason which is totally not going to be brought up later because it's relevant to the plot, don't worry about it.

Kenshi started trying to bake, but he was making eggs on accident because he couldn't see what he was doing, so Johnny tried to help him. He started gathering the ingredients and then began baking. He picked up a whisk to mix the dry ingredients, and it looked kind of familiar...

"Hey, this whisk looks just like Mr. Worldwide's penis!" he shouted for the whole world to hear.

"What." Kenshi was disturbed. He hated the word penis, and everything. He's emo.

"Yeah! When I saw it, I was like, woahhhh, that looks like a whisk, dude!"

"Wait, you SAW Mr. Worldwide's cock and balls?" Kenshi asked, he was super confused.

"Uh, yeah?" Johnny said, and then he started to panic. Why did he open his stupid mouth? Now Kenshi was going to find out what he did...

Kenshi whispered so that the other couples wouldn't hear them, "Johnny, did you have sex with Mr. Worldwide?"

"Yes...?"

"So, you...cheated on me?"

"Yes..."

That was the least skibidi thing Kenshi had ever heard in his life. In fact, it was so unskibidi, that the reader - yes you - started to cry. Tears of sadness, of course. "How could you? We just got married! When did this happen?"

"Last night. He grabbed me by my huge, swollen PECS."

Kenshi wanted to grab Johnny's pecs and rip them off his chest! A cheater like him didn't deserve big man boobs. Only Kenshi, a loyal man and faithful husband did.

"That's it, I'm divorcing you!" Kenshi said, and he shoved the whisk up Johnny's ass in front of everyone, and Johnny liked it, because he's freaky. The end.