Carter M. Google Sites Peer Feedback 2021 - 2022 by Carter Murphy https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-10-04 14:01:58 UTC 2022-04-28 14:19:29 UTC hello@padlet.com https://media3.giphy.com/media/SggILpMXO7Xt6/giphy.gif I really like how you introduced your dislikes by saying there are some things I can do without in my life exc…. This made me excited to see your dislikes. To add on I like how excited you are piece by saying that's all you need to know about me. I think it was clever and funny how you said grab a snack and browse through my writing pieces. It made me wish you actually had writing pieces on your portfolio. Something I think you could’ve done better on is adding more detail. For example you said you might find me out practicing sports, what sports this made me wonder what sports does he play and it sort of frustrated me but besides that it was great 👍! 28crekemeier https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/1793561743 2021-10-05 15:44:52 UTC https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/1793561743 One thing I think you did very well in your about me piece is added info about yourself. I feel like you did a very good job expressing how you feel about different topics.Another thing I think you did very well in your writing is told me about your everyday life. I got a better feel of who you are as a person (even though I know you almost to well).One thing I think you could have improved a little bit is added more details. I feel like you just listed the things you liked but I think a better thing to do is added more detail to the topics you talked about. 28awright1 https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/1796617906 2021-10-06 14:07:09 UTC https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/1796617906 Sam Juliano https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/1800666705 Hi carter. I really liked reading about all your likes, for example when you said that you like playing video games and you listed all the games you like to play. Also I like when you said all the foods you liked and I also love all the foods you listed.I also like how you added the part about how you practice with your dad and he motivates you to do more.But I would’ve liked to see you add more details like when you said you play sports I was wondering what sports for people that don’t already know that you play baseball they might have been wondering.]]> 2021-10-07 18:19:58 UTC https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/1800666705 Cooper is cool 28crekemeier https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/1923226984 I really liked how you put the story together . Being scared of you being more scared than enjoying the ride was a really good way to put the story together and you found thell there was a beginning, a middle and an end and I could tell when the climax was.  Another thing you did well is include inner thoughts for example “oh no oh no why didn't we go to Pizza Hut '' made me laugh. Something I wish you did was give more visual detail on where you were I couldn’t really see the ride in my Mind 


]]> 2021-12-01 16:31:37 UTC https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/1923226984 Aidan W. 28awright1 https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/1923414445 I think that you did a very good job describing the setting of your story. It really helped me understand where you were and it tied in well how you described how you felt about the place. One example of this is when you wrote “I could see the other group of the camp on the big, high swing spinning in circles. Man i wish i went on that instead, i thought to myself” Another thing you did very well was you added lots of meaningful inner thoughts so it helped me connect to how you were feeling in the moment. One example of when you did this was when you wrote “Why did I do this?! Why did I do this?!” It helped me feel how panicked you were. Despite you doing a very good job with your piece I feel like you didn’t put in a lot of information about the roller coaster which left me wondering some things.]]> 2021-12-01 17:40:47 UTC https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/1923414445 Adrian Perez https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/1925855771 My first star is this one really detailed part. “I felt the striking heat from the huge circular yellow, bright sun” that part seemed really good to me. I like how you said striking heat, it really helped me understand how hot it was and how it felt. My second star is how you described the view from the top of the roller coaster. The way you explained the view really helped me vision it. I thought it was funny how you wanted to go to a Ritas and Pizza Hut. But I think that was the most descriptive part of the story. My one wish is that I thought that the rest of the story was lacking some detail. Those two parts had a lot of good detail i just think you could’ve put more in other parts but other then that it was a really good piece


]]> 2021-12-02 18:40:05 UTC https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/1925855771 Cooper is cool 28crekemeier https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/2084388148 hi,carter I really liked how you got your point across in your essay that school uniforms are bad i limed hope you said they prevent students creativity. Another thing i liked is how well yours piece was written. You use good punctuation caps exc. something I wish you did was used more reasons it felt kind of repetitive.


]]> 2022-03-08 16:42:26 UTC https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/2084388148 Liam Duggy https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/2162719317 Hi, Carter! A strength of your narrative, “The strange pair of jordans” is how you were very descriptive in your first sentence of your narrative. You really gave me an idea of the setting in my head. Great job carter! In addition, I love the way you use figurative language to say AHA, this really spices up the narrative and makes me more interested in the story. Although your story is great, a correction you could make is you could expand on your story. I felt a little left short in your narrative.


]]> 2022-04-28 14:19:29 UTC https://padlet.com/28cmurphy1/dnu5okwl8yp0712u/wish/2162719317