https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h Made for NaPoWriMo 2k18 en-us 2018-03-20 18:04:13 UTC 2018-05-15 14:56:51 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/icons/Brightnessdown.png ave_marysia_b https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/247929451
I've lost the ability to have an imaginary friend so I've lost the ability to imagine anything.

I've lost the ability to love myself so I've lost the ability to love someone else. 

I've lost the ability to find joy in the small things so I've lost the ability to be happy with the simple pleasures.

I've lost the ability to be a child when I grew up to fast. Adulthood is a trap.

]]> 2018-04-02 20:18:04 UTC https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/247929451 ave_marysia_b https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/248257048 Because
the day is dull,
a nap is much needed.
Under a big heavy blanket,
I rest.]]> 2018-04-03 18:35:37 UTC https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/248257048 ave_marysia_b https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/248682156 You're three,
left all alone to fend for yourself. 
"You're fine", they say. 

Then you're five,
trying to find a place you can belong and feel loved. 
"You're loved", they say. 

You're eighth now, 
You realize you're sad and stop celebrating your birthday because you don't like the attention and don't like the idea of birth. 
"You're too young to be so cynical", they say. 

You're twelve now, 
Thinking about what it would be like if you weren't around anymore, thinking about whether people would notice if you were dead. Your first glimpse of suicide. 
"You're too desolate", they say. "Try to make friends", they say.

Then you're 15, 
You get sent to the hospital for bad thoughts and tendencies because they don't trust you alone. You say you're sad, you hate yourself, you shouldn't be alive. 
"You're fine", they say.
"It's just a phase", they say.

Now you are eighteen. 
You realize the depth of this disease that was cursed upon you. It's depression. It's a killer.  It's not a phase. You're not desolate, too young, or overreacting. You're not fine. 

But, one day, hopefully, you will be. ]]> 2018-04-04 21:04:24 UTC https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/248682156 https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/248889170 Look at their tiny heads
All laying in their big beds
They have a weird feeling under their skin
But have no idea when we will begin 
The world will no longer be at peace 
Aliens will take over and will make them all deceased ]]> 2018-04-05 14:26:16 UTC https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/248889170 ave_marysia_b https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/250993859 I am pretty sure I burned my first poems. 
I remember them being about death and hate. 
I see those things differently now. 
......]]> 2018-04-12 04:29:40 UTC https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/250993859 ave_marysia_b https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/250993911 My devotion to you is like one of a child to a mother. 
I will follow you, hang on you, love you with my whole being.
 
But you called me by her name,
 
one too many times. 

You tell me no other girl has ever outlasted her. 
You have lust for me but you have trust in her. 

You talk about the future with me

You talk about the present with her.

Do you love me? The way I love you..

]]> 2018-04-12 04:30:03 UTC https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/250993911 ave_marysia_b https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/250994189 Friends always seem to come and go 
People now that you barely know 
Pop up on your TimeHop and you wonder
"what made this friendship go under?"
People from middle school and high school alike
Left your life but you don't dislike
The people they became or are. 
You must move past them and say Au revoir.]]> 2018-04-12 04:30:52 UTC https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/250994189 ave_marysia_b https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/251177866 Fuck- Facing unwanted crucial Killjoys. ]]> 2018-04-12 14:42:19 UTC https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/251177866 ave_marysia_b https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/252653057 Abandonment.
Being betrayed by the
Curiosity of your
Dreams. 
Everyone 
Fucking
Goes away at some point.
Hopelesness. 
I wish that
Just once, 
Killing these thoughts,
Like being alone,
Might save me from
Nightmares. 
Only 
Pure numbness
Quakes my insides. 
Reliving my abandonment 
Stresses me out 
Too much
Util I can't 
Vividly move
Without pure pain. 
Xylitol is my medicine.
You see now that I am a
Zombie living in a world of color]]> 2018-04-17 16:18:26 UTC https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/252653057 ave_marysia_b https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/252668505 I don't know how to download it

]]> 2018-04-17 16:47:08 UTC https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/252668505 ave_marysia_b https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/253249672 2018-04-19 01:32:57 UTC https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/253249672 ave_marysia_b https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/253469515 Red lips- soft to the touch and plump like two little caterpillars sitting in place. 
Blue eyes- crystal clear and innocent but mature and pure. 
Pale skin- white as snow, clear as day with a few little red mountains to cut up the plain, white scenery. 
Brown eyebrows- plucked to perfection.
A little button nose- it looks like a cabbage patch gave you their finest feature. 
These are the features that define you. Embrace them fully.]]> 2018-04-19 15:07:59 UTC https://padlet.com/ave_marysia_b/dnmtgxwxsb1h/wish/253469515