Vent by :)

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-06 17:41:27 UTC

I’m sorry for thinking this but I keep thinking you’re cheating, I’m sorry it’s because of past mistakes that I haven’t forgotten, I’m sorry I keep bringing it up, but someone in your friends list (not saying whom) was someone you called something I didn’t like, roki took a ss of it and showed me before she decided to leave.. it just hurts to think you still talk to them, I’m not saying names and I’m not going to tell you, but everyone you “used” to like hurts me whenever you talk to them or mention them.. I know.. I’m selfish but I want you to myself, I’m not saying I don’t want you to have friends I just…… nevermind.. im sorry I keep assuming things, it also hurts when you compare me to Roki, I’m nothing like her (besides our energy and being energetic) that’s the only thing we have in common… I’m not just going to leave you like that.. I’m not going to “find someone better” there isn’t anyone better.. Believe me.. everyday I think I’m not good enough so you’ll go find someone good enough while with me because you don’t want to hurt me.. I’ll stop.. this is a lot to deal with it the first place.. I’m sorry it’s so long..

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-07 19:10:36 UTC

You’re going to leave, aren’t you? Please don’t lie to
me. I know you’re going to leave, why would you be
any different than anyone else? I’m too much. I feel
too much. I’m too much of a hassle, far too much to
handle. I’m pathetic, and selfish, and obsessive, and
possessive. I don’t want to hurt you. I promise, I
don’t.
I know you’re going to leave. You’re going to leave me
behind, and I’m going to be alone again, and I’m
going to die alone, because no matter how much I
love someone they always leave. You’re going to
leave, aren’t you? Tell me the truth. You’re going to
leave me behind, you have too, you have too because
you can’t deal with everything I am. I’m too much.
You’re going to leave. I’m going to be alone again.
You’re going to leave me behind like all of the others,
you’re going to leave me to die.
Please don’t leave you’re mine please please please
please please
I’ll do anything you want, please.

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-07 19:11:50 UTC

You don’t need anybody besides me. I’m the only
one you need!!!
They don’t deserve you, they’ve wronged you!!
Soon you’ll realize I’m the only one you truly need!!

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-07 19:12:50 UTC

you know you’re all i have left
don’t you DARE leave me for anyone.
They won’t love you like i do.
i’ll kill anyone if they even THINK about keeping you from
me
after all... you’ll love me forever,
won’t you?

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-07 19:13:15 UTC

If I give you my soul, will you be mine for eternity?

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-07 19:13:58 UTC

Please think about me, think only about me, don’t think about anyone else.

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Poison_Apple — 2022-12-11 21:30:14 UTC

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-12 18:55:04 UTC

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-13 18:09:37 UTC

A lot of things have been kind of tough lately and I just wanted to say thank you, and I know it’s not that easy sometimes you just gotta keep trying, it hurts to see you hurt and I’m not gonna let that stop me, I’ll protect you even if it’s yourself that hurts you.. and you will never be alone.. I swear to you I’ll give anything, anything in my power to make you feel less alone, it’s okay I accept you for everything you are! I swear to you no matter what you think, I’ll make all those doubts go away.. I love you, you make life special.. I want you to have so much and I do love you more than anything.. I know what it’s like to hate yourself and it’s not very fun.. you don’t have to feel restrained by yourself and all these negative emotions, you’re okay.. you’re a wonderful person.. and you deserve everything, the fact of you hurting yourself or doing something that you can never take back. Haunts me.. I just wanted to let you know.. I love you.. for you and everything you are.

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-14 17:07:39 UTC

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-14 17:07:46 UTC

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-14 18:11:42 UTC

𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚊 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢, 𝚊 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍

𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴, 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯
𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬
𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘦, 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺
𝘚𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-14 18:15:53 UTC

𝘐 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬, 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭, 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-14 18:18:25 UTC

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘥𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘴𝘵?
𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦.
𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦?
𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-14 18:19:19 UTC

𝘠𝘯𝘷 - 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 <33

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-15 17:49:40 UTC

“Love is the most wicked curse ever”

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-15 18:20:38 UTC

You know the truth hurts, the secrets kill.

A hero will kill YOU to save the world BUT a villain will DESTROY the world to save you.

Nobody notices your pain until it turns into anger, then you’re the bad person.

The loneliest people are the kindest, the saddest people smile the brightest, and the most damaged people are the wisest, all because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do..

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-15 18:43:24 UTC

Poison_Apple — 2022-12-16 13:12:55 UTC

We’ll take over the world one kiss at a time :}

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Poison_Apple — 2023-01-09 14:29:31 UTC

I’ve been considering the possibility that Ynv is a figment of my imagination, this is probably because I fail to understand how someone with a personality like his could survive in this shitty world, and also because I fail to understand how someone with a personality like his would take any interest in a depressed, suicidal, asshole, like myself.

Poison_Apple — 2023-01-09 18:21:57 UTC

Poison_Apple — 2023-01-09 18:22:16 UTC

(1) - DJ is 15 turning 16, Chuya is 14 going on 15. Chuya is new to Vegas, chuya walks into a new school his mother wanted him to "start fresh" chuya already had 23 majors at age 14, DJ has lived there 8 years ever since his mother passed away, his father made him go to school so he could have more friends.(2) - \\Past// - DJ and Chuya were best friends ever since 2nd grade, at age 14 Chuya's dad walked out on the family, later DJ's mother died. Both having a rough time DJ's dad forced them to move to Vegas.. Without any goodbye to his friend Chuya.\\Present// - DJ is now 16 living in Vegas, he has 4 friends who he's close with, Chuya moved to Vegas since his mother got a new job. It was his first day in public school.. Right when he walked in DJ couldn't tell it was him, until the teacher called his nameDJ -Height (10) 5'2"Height (14) 6'0"Height (15) 6'3"Height (16) 6'5"Weight - 78 - 160High school stats - Popular, got named "Pretty boy"Personality - Energetic, Serious mott, Jokes when upset mottBad habits - nail biting, raising voice, sometimes physical (Overall past) - At age 2 he was diagnosed with a brain disorder, at age 12 he was both underweight and overweight, at 13 his mother passed away from cancer that year he moved to Vegas with his father, He was very popular in school. He wasn't lonely but he didn't feel not alone.Chuya <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3-Height (10) 4'2"Height (14) 5'0"Height (15) 5'3"Height (16) 5'3"Weight - 65 - 129High school stats - eh popular, got named "Jackass"Personality - Rude, Blunt, Arrogant Bad habits - Smoking, Being a bully because he thinks it comes off as 'intimidating', Fighting, not listening to anyone but himself(Overall past) - At age 12 Chuya's dad walked out on him and his mother, leaving only a few hundred dollars. At 14 he had 23 major crimes, at 14 he was in a gang called "sheep" who was using him because of his strength and altitude, At 16 he moved to Vegas with his mother. All he really wants is a true friend, love and to not be alone, he wants to find out who he really is and who he'll become. He started smoking at 13.

Poison_Apple — 2023-01-11 01:57:28 UTC

My dream was about us, you uh picked me up and had an apartment. You were cooking food and at that moment I told you something that (well I haven’t told you in person yet, I’m scared you’ll break up with me.. or something..) and you seemed upset about it, so I hugged you and you hugged me back, like bruh this was the best fucking dream I’ve had in a while. Then you said you’d love me no matter what and you’d never leave me..

Poison_Apple — 2023-01-11 14:32:19 UTC

Well.. I’m starting to feel like I want to be in a.. mm.. how do I put this, I don’t feel good in my own body.. I feel like I’d feel better as a female, I don’t know if this is just a phase it’s been about two months feeling this way.. I don’t know if I’m transgender.. or if it’s just a phase.. I feel like you’d judge me if I was transgender and I don’t want you to leave because of what I want.. I’m sorry, I don’t know how to put it, I just feel bad about my body but whenever I dress feminine or wear something a female would it kinda masks the feeling, but right when I take my shirt off.. look at myself I feel like a failure and that I’ll never look how I want.. please don’t leave me if I do decide on being trans.. I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry.. I’m a failure I know.. I know..

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Poison_Apple — 2023-01-11 16:31:05 UTC

Apparently I’m the bad guy, I can’t do anything right I tried to be nice and go out in the living room and play with the kid I fucking hate. I had 10 minutes and my mom said “Don’t even fucking bother, you’ll have to go back to class in 10 minutes anyways what’s the point” so ofc I walked back into my room, slammed the door then the fucking child starts crying and my mom said “yeah I know, ‘Clayton’ likes to go out for like 2 minutes and make you upset, he’s just mean and grumpy all the time.” Okay for one thanks for making me even more mad than I already am 24/7. Two “He” great misgendered. Three “Clayton” fuck I hate my name. Four I was just trying to be nice for once but nooooo ig I can’t even do that. I seriously want to blow my brains out, no joke. I can’t take this hell house any longer.. idk what to do.. nobody in this house likes me, my only blood brother got kicked out.

Poison_Apple — 2023-01-13 14:13:04 UTC

I wrap myself in a blanket, and pretend it’s your arms, because maybe if you were here, things wouldn’t be so hard.

I rest my head on my pillow, and pretend that it’s your chest, because maybe if you were here, my heart would ache less.

I close my eyes and sigh, and pretend these miles don’t exist, because they overwhelm me completely, I just want to feel your kiss.

Poison_Apple — 2023-01-13 16:31:49 UTC

You see this is why I don’t get my hopes up, I always get let down.. I make promises for other people to force me into breaking.. I’m sorry I shouldn’t of promised.. he doesn’t love me like I thought, I called him and asked him to see if he’d keep me until Monday since I don’t go back to school until Tuesday.. he said he’d get me tomorrow so he’d have “something to do” I begged him to pick me up today, he said “nah, I’ll pick you up tomorrow” LIKE WHATS THE FUCKING POINT?! I called so I could have an extra day with my boyfriend.. but no.. you have to go and ruin it.. because you don’t want to keep me for more than two days.. not even two days.. it’s technically only a day and the day I go down there, which is always around 5.. I wouldn’t of even called if I knew you were just gonna get me tomorrow.. fuck I promised you.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. I had everything planned, I had so much things to tell you.. I had so much planned for us tonight.. now it isn’t going to happen, I’m never getting my hopes up again.. all I do is get let down by the people who love me most.. I feel like he doesn’t want me there.. now I feel like shit because I promised you I’d call you tonight and now I can’t.. I FUCKING PROMISED!.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry …

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Poison_Apple — 2023-01-18 12:39:30 UTC

I want you to kiss me, slowly and softly cause when you’re so gentle our lips barely touch it drives me crazy. I want you close to me, and I want you to touch me. You don’t even have to finger me or even touch that part of me. I just want your hands on me, I want to feel your body next to mine. So close that I can almost feel your heart beating.

I wanted to tell you something, now even though your life isn’t going the way you want it right now, I know you’ll be able to make it out just alright. I need you to trust the process life has for you, now every time you see your reflection in the mirror tell yourself, “hey, I’m a sexy mother fucker” because you’re something that matters, you are worth living and you are worth so much, never forget that, remember that’s it’s okay to not be okay. never give the fuck up, because I need you here and I love you so much. I’m proud of you for pushing through these tough days.

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Poison_Apple — 2023-01-25 16:09:15 UTC

I have two things to talk about with you, I’ll do #1 first, My mother is putting me in a public school for my second year of college, I’m starting my second year in June or July, but the school I’m doing into has discord and teen chat blocked, and I won’t be home till around 5 pm, then chores, so unless we figure something else out, we won’t be able to talk much after I go back, Ill only have Saturdays off and we’ll only be able to talk after 7 or 8 until 9 like usual, which I don’t know if I can go more than three hours without you, we need to find a way to talk or we can’t talk till about 5 or 6, because of my clubs archery and volleyball, I don’t think I can go 5+ hours without you, this is going to ruin me more mentally without you, plus I’m not the type to try to make friends at school so I’ll be alone until around 6, plus 2 hours of chores we’ll only have an hour to talk everyday, I just thought I’d let you know.

Poison_Apple — 2023-01-25 16:19:31 UTC

Now #2 I have been putting a lot of thought into what you said, I’m trying to figure everything out now, I said I’ll report back to you if anything happened, I was at the store and I didn’t recall how or when I got there, I don’t know if that’s something or I just forgot or fell asleep, which happens a lot I just forget or daydream too much where i forget what I’m doing, well ig I have three things to talk to you about, I just thought I’d let you know what happened, so #3, I feel like a shitty girlfriend because I get pissed at you for doing what I do and that’s not fair, my video games is like your TikTok, just because you’re not giving me 100% of your attention doesn’t mean I have to be a cunt about it, I’m sorry about that, I just have extreme jealousy and anxiety when you talk to other people, I need to stop the habit of worrying so much.. but it’s hard, worrying is what I do. I worry about your mental health when you look at TikTok and shit, ikik I sound like a mother, but I worry about you with social media too, I feel like you’re gonna give social media more attention than me. I also don’t like the fact you’re ruining your eyes with that screen, you need some uv glasses if you’re gonna sit there and school through TikTok for endless hours, or watch YouTube. Or game. You needa protect your eyes so they don’t end up like mine, you don’t want to have to wear glasses 24/7 just to see when people text you, plus when those glasses break you gotta pay $50 for another pair, then you struggle until you get them because they like taking 20000 years to ship them to you🥲 ahem anyways, you need UV glasses or you needa cut back on looking at the screen, unless you’re texting me, you needa sit down and read a book or something instead of staring at the screen, I know sometimes you have no choice, but you really need to take breaks so your eyes can function probably, I’m sorry for sounding like a mother, I’m just worried about you.

Morii can go fuck himself lol, im getting tired of him assuming im you

Poison_Apple — 2023-06-06 04:06:21 UTC

Bruh, i don’t care. Stop getting so worked up

Poison_Apple — 2023-06-06 04:07:17 UTC

Stop getting so worked up about it

2023-06-06 04:07:36 UTC