starlight. by deceit

` 0920116.

deceit — 2016-09-21 03:16:09 UTC

i don't know if i actually like you or if it's just the idea of liking you that i like.

` 09252016.

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:00:54 UTC

you worry me so much.

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:07:29 UTC

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:08:32 UTC

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:12:55 UTC

` 09252016.

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:13:15 UTC

sometimes i feel like you enjoy giving me stress.

` 09252016.

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:13:47 UTC

do i ever stress you out like you stress me out cause i mean you stress me out a lot.

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:17:55 UTC

` 09252016.

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:18:14 UTC

did this make you laugh a little bit cause i know your ankle hurts and i want to take your mind off of it.

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:18:45 UTC

` 09252016.

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:19:10 UTC

you have a cute smile.

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:21:22 UTC

` 09252016.

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:21:54 UTC

i know i'm writing a lot on this day but i just suddenly had a lot to say cause i kept thinking about whether or not your fucked up ankle was okay or not.

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:25:05 UTC

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:25:50 UTC

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:27:20 UTC

` 09252016.

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:28:24 UTC

i'm gonna inhale you.

` 09262016.

deceit — 2016-09-26 03:29:19 UTC

so i didn't know if i really liked you or if it was just because i felt emo and lonely that i liked having your attention. but now that i think about it, i get attention from lots of people. i get attention from the admins, my friends -- just a lot of people, and it's not the same when it's with you. so, yeah. that's why i spent a lot of my time yesterday working on this. i guess i finally realized i actually really like you.

` 09262016.

deceit — 2016-09-27 05:33:12 UTC

why do you not eat breakfast. why do you insist on staying on your ankle. even if i tell you to stay off your ankle you keep straining it and i'm afraid something really bad is gonna happen. i want to shake you and tell you to listen to me but you're so stubborn.

` 09282016.

deceit — 2016-09-28 07:37:26 UTC

i said i would sleep early tonight. i didn't. i said i would eat every meal. i didn't. oops? but you said you would take care of your ankle and you didn't. so i guess we're even? . ... is that logic valid idk.

` 09292016.

deceit — 2016-09-29 07:15:43 UTC

so the entire day yesterday i didn't eat an entire full meal. oops?

deceit — 2016-10-01 04:28:02 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-01 04:28:49 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-01 04:31:47 UTC

` 10012016.

deceit — 2016-10-01 07:42:59 UTC

it's a new month and i'm kind of excited to see what you're gonna dress up as for halloween. i know it's at the end of the month but i could totally imagine you dressing up as that star from mario. except... more jiggly. and puffy. jiggly star.

` 10012016.

deceit — 2016-10-01 07:46:50 UTC

i think you need to sleep for like 15 hours one day.

` 10012016.

deceit — 2016-10-01 07:47:34 UTC

do you ever wonder what it would be like if i didn't eat you on a daily basis?

` 10012016.

deceit — 2016-10-01 07:48:19 UTC

i'm still gonna eat you.

` 10012016.

deceit — 2016-10-01 08:25:34 UTC

it was supposed to be a secret bUT YOUNGJAE'S TRYING TO HELP ME AND I NEED YOU TO NOT GIVE ME ANYTHING UNTIL I GIVE THIS TO YOU FIRST.

deceit — 2016-10-01 08:32:44 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-01 08:34:46 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-01 08:46:57 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-01 08:54:00 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-01 08:54:32 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-01 09:09:51 UTC

` 10012016.

deceit — 2016-10-01 09:10:14 UTC

remember how doyoung said something about me having a boyfriend chest? yeah that's because of this gif right here < i can't guarantee you that i won't be completely knocked out but um you can fall asleep on my boyfriend chest. i mean. .... .. . if you want to.

deceit — 2016-10-01 09:14:14 UTC

` 10012016.

deceit — 2016-10-01 09:14:32 UTC

i know i'm writing a lot but it's the weekend so you know. .. free time.. do you like sitting on laps because i mean i think i have a pretty nice lap like i think people would recommend it.. . .. . ignore the launchpad comments. that's only for certain people. i promise i won't launch you into the ceiling.

` 10012016.

deceit — 2016-10-01 09:16:59 UTC

i showed this to mark and youngjae to get some feedback and they both liked the 'i'm going to inhale you' comment.

` 10012016.

deceit — 2016-10-01 09:17:37 UTC

i think it's funny how people have automatically associated eating you as my job because i do it so often. now that i think about it, i don't think you really eat or inhale me. you just. .. .. threaten to.

` 10022016.

deceit — 2016-10-02 07:19:28 UTC

your 3k post gift to me made me want to punch myself in the face and cry manly tears.

` 10032016.

deceit — 2016-10-03 07:00:47 UTC

i'm gonna eat your ankle.

` 10042016.

deceit — 2016-10-05 02:38:38 UTC

Status: “i'd stay up all night just to watch you shine.” ---- i really hope you don't. i mean, unless you stay up with me.

` 10072016.

deceit — 2016-10-07 07:01:21 UTC

sometimes i get so excited to leave you a note here and i have to remind myself that i shouldn't post on it every day otherwise it'll be too cluttered. if i could, though, i would. i'd leave you little messages telling you how i feel stressed about you running tomorrow, about you eating, about you doing anything that could possibly injure you any more because god knows what else could happen. but even if i did, you wouldn't listen, would you? you're stubborn and at certain times i like that even though it does make me want to crack my head open because you never listen to my advice. do i have to eat you for you to take my advice or are you just forever going to give me anxiety i swear to god yoo shiah.

` 10092016.

deceit — 2016-10-09 07:26:07 UTC

i don't know how many nicknames i have, or how many nicknames you have, but i know we have a lot for each other. we should probably keep track.

deceit — 2016-10-10 05:36:37 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-10 05:38:09 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-10 05:38:26 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-10 05:38:44 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-10 05:43:38 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-10 05:44:52 UTC

` 10112016.

deceit — 2016-10-12 06:59:10 UTC

i didn't think being away from you would be that hard. i was worrying about whether you ate breakfast, lunch, dinner or not - whether you got enough sleep and whether you were doing okay on your exams. ( which i'm sure you did great on by the way. ) but you're back now and i can't tell you how odd it felt to not have you around. my stomach was empty. that was really weird. and now that you're back i can eat you and inhale you and give you rides on the jeon jet. just like the way it's supposed to be.

` 10112016.

deceit — 2016-10-12 07:04:48 UTC

just smile for me. i still can't believe it. everything feels like a dream. hey, don't try to disappear. is it true, is it true? you, you, i'm afraid cause you're so beautiful. untrue, untrue, you, you, you. will you stay with me? will you promise me? if i put a hand on you will you fly away, break? i'm afraid. i want to stop time. if this moment passes, i'm afraid it'll become a time that never happened, that you'll forget me. butterfly, like a butterfly.

deceit — 2016-10-16 07:44:11 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-16 07:45:32 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-16 07:46:44 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-16 07:47:09 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-16 07:47:38 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-16 07:48:48 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-16 07:49:32 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-16 07:50:16 UTC

` 10162016.

deceit — 2016-10-16 07:54:07 UTC

so you keep telling me about all my gifs and how they're rude and all so i decided to put them here. hAH. are they ruining you yet? if you do happen to get ruined you know you could just come to me because you know - hero jeon. anyway i felt like this was much needed because you know when you see the top it's a bunch of cute stuff and then you're not really expecting it you know so yeah. enjoy :"

deceit — 2016-10-18 03:15:04 UTC

` 10172016.

deceit — 2016-10-18 03:15:18 UTC

i'm afraid if i take too long i might let you go on accident.

deceit — 2016-10-18 03:21:59 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-18 03:35:04 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-18 03:35:39 UTC

` 10172016.

deceit — 2016-10-18 03:35:57 UTC

i thought the lyrics were fitting.

` 10192016.

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:22:20 UTC

Status: “you'd outshine the diamond ring i'll put on your finger someday.” ✎ is it too early to be thinking of some morning, waking up in a nice house with you by my side and a bunch of dogs yapping at us? is it too early to think of hugging you right from the morning, waddling all the way down to the kitchen to help you cook and then clean around the house? i mean, it probably is. i can't say that i haven't thought about it before, though.

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:33:03 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:33:40 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:34:13 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:35:06 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:35:45 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:36:40 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:37:21 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:37:59 UTC

` 10192016.

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:38:41 UTC

i hate how there aren't a lot of gifs of you around.

` 10192016.

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:39:27 UTC

enjoying the spam?

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:40:03 UTC

` 10192016.

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:40:28 UTC

this is kind of how i imagine yooa hat?

` 10192016.

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:40:54 UTC

yooa hat works.

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:41:48 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:42:40 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:43:33 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:45:39 UTC

` 10192016.

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:45:56 UTC

so add about 10 centimeters to the girl on the right and that's my height. you're so tiny.

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:49:44 UTC

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:50:10 UTC

` 10192016.

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:50:45 UTC

your hair is so long and soft looking and i want to touch it all the time???

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:51:07 UTC

` 10192016.

deceit — 2016-10-19 19:51:55 UTC

do you like coffee or tea? or maybe milk tea? i like all three. ... .

deceit — 2016-10-25 07:39:57 UTC

` 10252016.

deceit — 2016-10-25 07:43:00 UTC

i was kind of hesitant about putting this song here because megan trainhor is staring right into my soul and uh it's like below my own face and i don't know - but the lyrics were cute and i thought they were fitting because i know i lack in a lot of different places but one thing i know i don't lack in my affection for you.

deceit — 2016-10-25 07:51:03 UTC

` 10252016.

deceit — 2016-10-25 07:51:39 UTC

you should check out the lyrics for this song because i think they're pretty fitting for how i feel.

` 10282016.

deceit — 2016-10-28 07:15:16 UTC

you're leaving for a week soon and i'm sad. what am i gonna do for a week? i'm gonna be a sad, empty lamp. i'll be a sad, empty lamp because the light in my life is gone. for a week. i'm gonna be a sad leg lamp.

` 10312016.

deceit — 2016-11-01 05:54:43 UTC

you're leaving in an hour and i don't know what i'm gonna do for a week. you're gonna be gone. what am i gonna do without my yooa hat and squishy cheek smol one and and - i'm gonna go out of my mind just worrying about you.

` 11012016.

deceit — 2016-11-01 07:12:54 UTC

you're gone and i don't know what i'm doing. i'm a flickering, angsty, anguished leg lamp.

deceit — 2016-11-02 04:41:05 UTC

` 11032016.

deceit — 2016-11-04 05:22:54 UTC

it's weird not talking to you in the room. it's weird not seeing you at least once a day. i got so used to talking to you and now that you're not here i feel socially inept. usually i'm totally fine but this is so odd and i need you back.

deceit — 2016-11-04 05:26:35 UTC

deceit — 2016-11-07 03:49:12 UTC

` 11062016.

deceit — 2016-11-07 03:49:20 UTC

i miss you and i'm being emo cause you're not here and you're coming back home tomorrow but i don't know if i'm gonna be here in time because i have to go somewhere and i'm sad and wow this sucks.

deceit — 2016-11-07 04:58:14 UTC

deceit — 2016-11-07 04:58:38 UTC

` 11062016.

deceit — 2016-11-07 05:07:34 UTC

i'm realizing there aren't a lot of pictures of you on here and i'm trying to change that because i'd rather see you than me.. . this is hard.

deceit — 2016-11-07 05:08:40 UTC

deceit — 2016-11-07 05:10:01 UTC

deceit — 2016-11-07 05:10:47 UTC

deceit — 2016-11-07 05:11:38 UTC

` 11062016.

deceit — 2016-11-07 05:12:25 UTC

you actually look like a living doll. like what the hell are you even real? you're all tiny and cute and pretty and stuff and i don't know it just seems kind of unreal. also your hair looks really nice here and i'm wondering how that happens cause that's a lot of hair and i feel like it'd be really hard to maintain. does it ever get tangled? i'll um. i'll brush your hair for you if you want.. no promises that i won't end up accidentally using brute strength, though. i hope you don't mind. . ...

deceit — 2016-11-07 05:16:25 UTC

` 11062016.

deceit — 2016-11-07 05:16:48 UTC

i didn't plan to put this but you look so shook it's kinda cute.

deceit — 2016-11-07 08:09:07 UTC

deceit — 2016-11-07 08:09:38 UTC

deceit — 2016-11-07 08:10:09 UTC

deceit — 2016-11-07 08:10:20 UTC

deceit — 2016-11-07 08:11:29 UTC

` 11072016.

deceit — 2016-11-08 03:13:37 UTC

jeon jungkook 6 days ago Reply

takes yooai's face in my hands and nudges her nose lightly before tilting my head to press a light kiss to her lips
i would kiss you longer but i can't keep you here longer and if i do i'll be even more sad

` 11072016.

deceit — 2016-11-08 03:13:55 UTC

it was our first kiss and it was kind of choppy and short and a bit sad but i liked it. it was rushed and i wanted to kiss you longer, without feeling sad because you were going to be gone so soon, but i still liked it. i liked it cause it was with you -- and i wouldn't have asked for it with anyone else.

deceit — 2016-11-10 20:24:20 UTC

` 11102016.

deceit — 2016-11-10 20:24:37 UTC

` 11112016.

deceit — 2016-11-11 14:34:37 UTC

i hope you realize i'm writing this at like 6 am. i was supposed to do it last night, around 12 ish, but i knocked out so hard when it was like 8 and i didn't wake up until 2 and wow i really screwed up my sleeping schedule for today. anyway just letting you know that if any of my sentences sound weird, you know why. ( aka it's too early for me to function properly ) getting on with thingsss. it's been a long time since i've started this padlet and i've really come a long way with making it - as you can see - while trying to put into words how i.. feel. wow that sounded cheesy. i know that it isn't perfect. i know that i'm not perfect. i worry you, i never really eat or sleep and i always get frustrated over things, but you're always there to nag me and let me know that you're here for me and there are no words for me to describe how thankful i am, and how much i adore you for it. we've come a long way, yeah? from the day i took your nose to our little idiosyncrasies on a daily basis, we've grown closer and i wouldn't have it any other way. at first i was hesitant. you can ask mark, if you're curious. i didn't know if liked you, or the idea of having you around. there have just been so many instances where i've given my all into a relationship and they've vanished on me, or they've just lost interest and never truly came back. i didn't want to experience that again, not with someone like you. i guess you can say the last couple of months have been more of a test for me and you more than anything - in the beginning anyway - but now it's become something more than that. i forgot about wondering if you were gonna stay with me, or wondering if you were going to reciprocate how i felt. i wanted to know if you would deal with me and my quirks, and actually love them ---- because i love your quirks. i love the way you care for me, the way you talk about me and to me, i love the little things that you do. it's not so much about your appearance as it is about how you took something that i tried so hard to guard. so.. you know. will you let me call you my girlfriend? hold you? kiss you? take you out on dates? stuff you in my sweaters without needing an excuse? it's 11:11 on 11/11, and i wished for you.