Domestic abuse isn’t just abuse that occurs between married people in a home, it can happen to anyone, including young people in their close or intimate relationships.

Young people are especially vulnerable particularly when they are entering into their first relationships.

What they experience can really define and shape what they come to think of as healthy behaviour between people in a relationship

Mutual Respect – Both people value each other’s thoughts, feelings, and boundaries.
Open Communication – They feel safe discussing problems without fear of judgement and/or repercussion.
Trust & Security – No checking phones, constant suspicion, or pressure.
Emotional Support – Their partner or friend encourages and uplifts them.
Independence – They still have their own interests, friends and time to themselves.
Healthy Conflict Resolution – Disagreements are solved with respect, not blame or shouting or manipulation.
Enjoyment – The relationship brings happiness, not stress.

How to talk about it: “A good relationship should make you feel comfortable and supported, not anxious or controlled. How does your relationship (or a friend’s) feel?”

Good Man is a five week male mentoring programme for boys and young men who are at risk of entering into abusive relationships in the future and/or are at current risk within an abusive relationship. It can be delivered on either a group work or 1:1 basis, depending on need.

Who is eligible?

• Young males aged 10 – 18 years

• Living in Southend, Essex or Thurrock

• Willing to take part in groupwork or 1:1 interventions

• Displaying signs of unhealthy relationships / coercive behaviours (can include signs such as lack of empathy, dishonesty, manipulative, dismissive of others views)

The programme will include:

• Making relationships work

• Relationships in a digital world

• Confidence

• Manners and respect

• Consequences

• Healthy relationships

The project looks to educate young people about the value of respect and the characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships. Equipping them with the necessary skills to develop and maintain healthy relationships, recognise how to break up in an appropriate way when necessary and maintaining appropriate open lines of communication.

For further details on this fully funded programme email: youth.work@essex.gov.uk

Sisters In Strength is a five week mentoring programme for girls and young women who are at risk of entering into an abusive relationship, becoming a potential perpetrator within a relationship or are currently in an abusive relationship. It can be delivered on either a group work or 1:1 basis, depending on need.

Who is eligible?

• Young females aged 10 – 18 years

• Living in Southend, Essex or Thurrock

• Willing to take part in group work or 1:1 interventions (face to face and online delivery options)

• Displaying signs of unhealthy relationships / coercive behaviours (can include signs such as lack of empathy, dishonesty, manipulative, dismissive of others views).

The programme will cover:

• Making relationships work

• Relationships in a digital world

• Confidence

• Manners and respect

• Consequences

• Healthy relationships

The project looks to educate young people about the value of respect and the characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships. Equipping them with the necessary skills to develop and maintain healthy relationships, recognise how to break up in an appropriate way when necessary and maintaining appropriate open lines of communication.

For further details on this fully funded programme email: youth.work@essex.gov.uk

We’ve got lots of advice about healthy and unhealthy relationships. There are also lots of ways you can get support:

• talk to an adult you trust

• get advice from others on the message boards

• make a safety plan, or think about ways to leave

• speak to a Childline counsellor.

If you feel unsafe right now or it’s an emergency, you can always call 999.’

Are you worried about someone or they’ve told you something concerning? It’s always okay to get help.

Remember, anyone can go through abuse.

There are lots of ways you can support someone:

• tell them why you’re worried and that you’re there for them when they’re ready to talk

• share information about Childline

• help them speak to someone they trust, like a teacher

• get advice from the message boards or a Childline counsellor

• help them make a safety plan, and in an emergency call 999

• Embarrasses you or puts you down

• Controls who you see, where you go, or what you wear

• Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually that make you feel uncomfortable

• Looks through your phone and social media

• Takes money from you and refuses to give it back

• Blocks you after a disagreement

• Threatens to hurt you

• Stops you from seeing your friends or family

• Looks at you or acts in a way that scares you

• Prevents you from working or attending education

• Blames you for their actions

Report Remove is here to help young people under 18 in the UK to confidentially report sexual images and videos of themselves and remove them from the internet.

Ashiana

Ashiana specialises in helping Black and Minority Ethnic women, in particular, women from South Asian, Turkish & Iranian communities, aged 16-30 years who are at risk of domestic violence and sexual violence. They provide culturally sensitive advice, support and safe housing.

Rape Crisis

They provide a directory to find local rape crisis centres, run the national helpline for women and girls aged 13+, and offer a live chat helpline for women and girls aged 16 and over in England, whose lives have been affected by sexual violence. Some local rape crisis organisations also provide services to men and boys; if they don’t then they will be able to provide details of other relevant local support organisations.

Muslim’s Women Network Helpline

Providing Muslim girls and women with a free, confidential listening service plus practical help and information where required.

Galop

Galop is the leading LGBT+ anti-violence and abuse charity, providing the National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline. They provide advice and support to individuals who have experienced hate crime, sexual violence, and domestic abuse and have an online referral form. They also offer a Trans Advocacy Service.

Law Stuff

LawStuff provides free legal information to children and young people. LawStuff is run by Coram Children’s Legal Centre. You can get in touch via their contact form or view their website for plenty of information.

Young Minds

Young Minds aims to improve the emotional wellbeing and mental health of children and young people and to empower their parents and carers.

Karma Nirvana

Karma Nirvana is a British human rights charity supporting all victims of honour-based abuse and forced marriages. They provide a national helpline to support victims in immediate danger.

Paws Protect

They provide a free cat fostering service for people fleeing domestic abuse, taking care of cats until their owners are in a position to reclaim them. They are part of Cats Protection.

Dogs Trust

Dogs Trust Freedom Project provide temporary foster care for dogs belonging to families fleeing domestic abuse.