SFC Leaders Track by Ernie Amiel Abringe

III.

III. Effective SFC Couple Coordinators need to remember what they are, and what they are not.

A) SFC Couple Coordinators are mentors and not the immediate parents of the SFCs

1. Parents are still the primary pastors of the SFCs. There will be certain things you may not be able to force upon the SFCs because of their upbringing, experiences, biases, education, etc. Do not feel as if you have to change them entirely or that if you are unable to change them, you are not effective. You have to build trust and create an environment where they feel seen and safe. You are called to be their mentors, providing spiritual guidance, wisdom, and support to help them discern their vocation, whether they are called to married life, single blessedness, or religious life. Moreover, you help them discover or develop their God-given talents and maximize those gifts to be of service to others.

2. If there are times when SFCs are more open about sharing their struggles than their parents or family members, support them in building strong communication to reinforce their dedication to their families.

B) SFC Couple Coordinators are leaders and not the bosses of SFCs.

1. As SFC Couple Coordinators, to guide SFCs to become the next generation of CFC, we should lead by example by living out our covenant with the Lord. We should faithfully grow in prayer, and wisdom, participate in the community life, and seek God's will to provide vision, direction, and inspiration to the team.
2. Indeed, there will be a lot of things to do, and there will be the temptation to demand that they "do as you say". An authoritarian relationship will create friction in the long run for both parties. As leaders, we follow Christ's example of servant leadership. A Christian servant leader is someone who takes the first step and shows up, especially when circumstances are unfavorable and difficult. Active listening is also a vital skill a Christian servant leader should possess. The people you will be serving are mature individuals who want their opinions to be heard and appreciated, so it would be helpful to provide meaningful dialogue rather than lord it over them and create opportunities for growth where they can lead and expand their capabilities.

C) SFC Couple Coordinators are pastors, and not just spectators of SFCs.

Saying yes to everything the SFCs want to do is not proper. You are not in a peer group where you need to give in to their pressure to feel that they have accepted you. Always practice pastoral leadership. Discern carefully the whites, the blacks, and the grays that will be presented to you in the course of your service. Encourage SFCs to deepen their relationship with the Lord by spending concrete encounters with their family, receiving the Sacraments (Reconciliation and Holy Eucharist), joyfully living out the SFC covenant, taking part in SFC activities, and responding to God’s call in their lives. As SFC couple coordinators, you model these actions because you are accountable for them. When SFCs are going through some hard times, when they feel lost and confused, you are called to be like Jesus, our Good Shepherd, who went after the lost sheep and brought it back home. Pray for the grace to have a heart like Jesus to love and reach for those who are lost and broken. They need to see Christ in you.