https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots en-us 2022-04-09 03:52:43 UTC 2022-06-01 08:20:09 UTC hello@padlet.com nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142420913 People often label you a certain way, are overly cautious around you, or on the other end of the spectrum, they joke about you.

"Modern loneliness, we're never alone but always depressed"]]> 2022-04-13 13:46:43 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142420913 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142422077 Tidak.

Kawan saya pernah diserang anxiety attack. Tiba tiba badan dia menggigil dan menangis.]]> 2022-04-13 13:47:31 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142422077 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142422821 No.

I have a colleague who always complain about anxiety. From our conversation, I realise that it is just about his mind set ]]> 2022-04-13 13:47:59 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142422821 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142423856 Afraid of being stigmatized or being told to just push through it

I have diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder which have affected my study and my grades before.]]> 2022-04-13 13:48:41 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142423856 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142431858 Do you have any difficulties sharing your mental health issue with others? If yes, why?

Tell us (any of) your own experience with mental health issues. Elaborate if possible.]]> 2022-04-13 13:54:09 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142431858 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142435469 Yes, because people think im just sad but i really tired.

Thought of killing myself is like everyday. ]]> 2022-04-13 13:56:38 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142435469 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142438505 tidak

Rakan saya pernah menghadapi masalah mental sehingga dia menggenggam erat tangan saya kerana berasa sangat ketakutan]]> 2022-04-13 13:58:41 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142438505 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142440696 i choose people who I'm comfort with to talk about it which is my best friend. She's having quite severe anxiety. she understands me better

whole of my life, i never knew it was anxiety caused me to stay quite, to always be in my comfort zone, to keep on scared when I'm around people etc. ]]> 2022-04-13 14:00:12 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142440696 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142441812 saya lebih gemar berkongsi dengan adik beradik atau kawan rapat. saya pernah berkongsi dengan parents tapi penerimaannya kurang terbuka

nangis hampir setiap hari selama sebulan (bila berseorangan) semasa awal kemasukan ke universiti as degree holder. saya juga hampir untuk drop degree.]]> 2022-04-13 14:00:55 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142441812 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142442757 Yes. Don’t want anyone getting involved with my problem.

I have been experiencing the urge to self-harm. My mood changes easily and I would rather keep my problem to myself and avoid socialising.]]> 2022-04-13 14:01:36 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142442757 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142443583 Orang lain tidak memahami apa yang dialami oleh saya. Takut tiada sokongan daripada orang yg kita bagitahu. 

Rasa kurang percaya diri dan sentiasa berfikiran negatif jika tiada yang ambil peduli mengenai diri ini. ]]> 2022-04-13 14:02:14 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142443583 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142445484 Not trusting people enough to share

Prefer not to say]]> 2022-04-13 14:03:33 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142445484 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142445970 Yes. I find that no one is there to listen to my feelings and mental health. I keep on hiding it from everyone.

Frequently i experience suicidal thoughts. Sometimes i can divert my mind. But sometimes i just can hold back my tears and break down. ]]> 2022-04-13 14:03:54 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142445970 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142446638 Fear(?)

Afraid to get close to people if they can see this ugly/broken side of me]]> 2022-04-13 14:04:17 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142446638 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142448222 No, I've always been expressive with others and I'm not afraid of judgments.

I'm not diagnosed with any mental illness but I've been through quite a depressive state where I was at my lowest point. When somebody tells you they love you, don't believe them. Nobody warns you about the consequences of being unexpectedly betrayed. The days coming up were spent with you wondering why it happened to you when you didn't even deserve it. It made you question your self worth. It was their mistake but you were the one who had to be responsible for your healing. The emotional damage was traumatizing enough that when the next person came along, you put up your walls and frequently questioned their intentions even after months of being together and months of being reasurred that you're okay and you're loved and you're safe. I hated myself for a long period of time and I developed some toxic traits as a result. It messed with my mind and my sleeping habits became unhealthy. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.]]> 2022-04-13 14:05:21 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142448222 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142449167 Malu atau overthinking yang pendengar mungkin tidak selesa mendengar perkongsian.

Isu kesihatan mental makin meningkat terutamanya selepas pandemik bermula. Golongan pelajar misalnya perlu menghadiri kelas secara atas talian, keseorangan di dalam bilik.]]> 2022-04-13 14:06:01 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142449167 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142450007 I don't really feel comfortable talking about my thoughts and problems to others.

The feeling of anxiousness has gotten bad lately. It is hard to even go out and have a conversation with people who I don't talk to on a daily basis.]]> 2022-04-13 14:06:31 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142450007 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142450660 Yes,  I do not believe to tell my problem to other.

My level of depression is quite high that almost close to level 3.]]> 2022-04-13 14:06:58 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142450660 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142451385 Yes, main reason is my family and people around have a  prejudice belief toward people with mental illness plus they don't believe that mental illness are real and said that people who have mental illness just trying to get attention. I do educated them about mental illness but they have an adamant belief that mental illness is only for weak people who don't have 'iman' and yeah it just don't exist. 

I don't know if I have mental illness cuz I never go and get myself diagnose but I knew there's something wrong with me. I have suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager. I always had this thoughts and even try to commit suicide twice but I chickened out every single time.Cuz I suddenly felt scared, I really wanna die but I'm to scared to die. Now Im older I don't get the urge to kill myself but  I always have this suicidal thoughts sometimes and it will become more frequent if I'm under stress. I also got this feeling where I don't feel like I'm living my life i feel like I'm just existing.  I knew  there's something wrong with me, I knew that I need to seek professional help. But I'm to scared to seek for help. I'm afraid my parent and family gonna be disappointed with me.]]> 2022-04-13 14:07:25 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142451385 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142452513 The thought that others will not understand / not willing to listen / not willing to help

Once helped a friend who had a bad panic attack]]> 2022-04-13 14:08:06 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142452513 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142792894 Yes. Because of the stereotypes of our society and I know some people will judge me.

As far as I can recall, dealing with mental health issues are not easy. Some people I know, they’re dealing with mental health issues all by themselves because they’re afraid to seek therapist. ]]> 2022-04-13 17:59:31 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142792894 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142793473 Sometimes, it is hard to describe why I'm feeling the why I'm feeling

Having to do nothing but study especially during the pandemic has affected my mental health and social skills tremendously.]]> 2022-04-13 17:59:56 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142793473 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142794006 People might judging you

1st family problem and you don't  have anyone else to talk about your feelings.  You don't  really  trust anyone.]]> 2022-04-13 18:00:19 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142794006 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142794571 No

I've encountered with depression and anxiety survivor that she became my friend now. I've never thought I would see her biggest down phase until the day I saw her anxiety attack. I'm just glad she trust me to listen to her story. ]]> 2022-04-13 18:00:44 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142794571 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142795396 yes because i don't want to burden others

I hate loud noises. I get scared when people scream around me. Sometimes when they just raise their voice a little, I immediately cry. If I hear someone shout or yell around me, my whole body will tremble and my heart will beat too fast. My worst experience is that I almost fainted when I heard my warden scold my friend at my hostel because he was sneaking out of his dorm. You can imagine how mad my warden was, so maybe that's why I got scared a lot. Obviously, it's not my problem, but I still get shaky when I hear someone screaming. That's why I prefer to stay in a quiet place and be alone. I also don't really like loud music because it makes me anxious and stressed. Loud noises would make me feel very uncomfortable. Many people call me too sensitive, but they never know the main reason behind this. ]]> 2022-04-13 18:01:21 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2142795396 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143883188 Always.
1. I know people are not interested to listen
2. If they do, they wouldn't understand my problem
3. If they do, they wouldn't have anything to help me
4. I also believe that I should own my own problem because I'm a man
5. I dont know if this considered as PTSD, but I always keep myself quiet and avoid social interaction due to the fear that people will ignore me, laugh at me and dislike me. This fear, I believe started when I was in secondary school where my words in group chat left people hate or talk bad about me, which left me feel that no one ever like me


It still happens to me, I dont know why. There will be a moment I consider to take my own life because of the belief that I'm a nobody and worthless in this world. I don't know if I should consider myself suffer from suicidal or depression or any mental illness because I never go to any professional help to diagnose me. I dont know how some people can get diagnosed. Therefore, I think that I dont believe that I have some mental health issue, but somehow there will always be a moment where I feel like it's better to die because I know no one would cherish of me, even my partner (girlfriend, I should say). Eventhough I get the words "I always be by your side and support you" from some people even from her, but I couldn't help it but deny those statement. I always feel alone and empty, eventhough I join many events that involve social interaction with people. That is why everyday, I try everything to reduce the feelings of emptiness or loneliness, by watching funny videos that is suit my type of humor, eventhough to some people my type of video watching is annoying, but it helps me to feel alive and at least feel joy at the moment by laughing along with the videos. I do love myself, but I also hate myself so bad. I hate that I am the type of person to overthink something that I know it's no big deal. I hate that I can't share my problem with people because of fear of ignorance and judgement. It's at this moment that the only thing  that keeps me going is her. But I'm worried to view as a weak person to her whenever I feel like express myself, since I'm a man and older than her. I just hope that she could at least approach me and let me know that she had the time to be with me and listen to all of my stories without me having to filter myself and feel hesitated to tell her all. Because I thimk all I want is to be heard by someone, especially someone that I care about. If only I coudl tell her how much I love her, but I dont want to view as clingy also, since I experience that breakup due to my clinginess. I just dont know, hope I make it through long enough. Wish me luck]]> 2022-04-14 13:38:27 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143883188 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143884902 Because the last time I trusted someone close to me with it, it became the biggest regret I have. "Awak jauh dari Tuhan" was their first response, like wow, the audacity. They proceeded to take me to an ustaz, no doctors despite being doctors themselves after that and didn't even listen to all that I was talking about. Had a relapse after that fiasco and will never tell them anything about my mental health ever


Self harmed since age 15 in highschool without realizing it was self harm till I was 19 after verbally recalling what I did to someone. It was mostly stemming from academic pressure I put on myself. Was clean at age 17 till age 19 when I had my first relapse after the event above. Haven't tried getting checked for it yet cuz I'm scared of being "orang gila" according to someone close to me. Still struggle with those urges now once in a while with some suicidal ideation here and there]]> 2022-04-14 13:39:51 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143884902 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143885682 I'm afraid that people will say that I'm just overreacting and being ridiculous. i also think that I'm not supposed to feel that way because I don't face big hardships in life; i never didn't have any money to eat & my family is not broken. 


frequent suicidal thoughts, the feelings of people constantly judging me which interferes with the way i communicate and make me feels isolated and unworthy, feeling like I'm not worthy to live as my existence doesn't mean anything so it's better if i didn't exist at all  :')
sth like anxiety attack (I'm not sure, don't wanna self diagnose) but usually when this happens - fast heartbeat like my heart wanted to jump out my chest, choking feeling in throat, nausea, feels like I'm watching my body from the outside, dizziness ]]> 2022-04-14 13:40:31 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143885682 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143886669 Ya, Sebab orang tidak faham situasi saya, kalau cerita pun akan selalu disalah walaupun kita dah betul kan sesuatu. 


Saya stress sangat dengan family sendiri, walaupun kita dah lakukan banyak benda tapi tak pernah dihargai akan sentiasa cari kesalahan kecil dan akan ungkit bukan itu sahaja akan sebut tentang "ini ke kau belajar sekarang" apa² perkara pun akan dikaitkan dengan pelajaran. Rasa menyesal sangat belajar. Sentiasa merasa menyesal. ]]> 2022-04-14 13:41:18 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143886669 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143887256 Yes. Im afraid if my mental health issues will not be taken seriously by people who i choose to share


I have experienced severe stress during second semester of facing online class. I think maybe I kept the burden and problem alone for a along time without telling anyone.  Consequently, i found myself being so fragile and sensitive about everything. I also realize my mental health usually worse during examination week due to pressure that I put on myself. ]]> 2022-04-14 13:41:49 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143887256 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143888024 No.


Should be patient and support them.]]> 2022-04-14 13:42:22 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143888024 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143888786 people often think I am just weak to face the reality of the world but the fact that I just couldn’t gone through it is what I think the difficulty to talk to someone about it


my own friends just laugh at me when I tell them I need help]]> 2022-04-14 13:42:59 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143888786 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143889393 yes, due to the responses i have received from people who don't know how to respond to what i have shared, making me feel as if i had made the mistake of oversharing


i had episodes of feeling tearful to the point of feeling suicidal. When i had decided to share this with one of my closest friend, he didn't reply to my messages until a few days later, although he had previously said he will be there for me. This made me feel as if i was burdening him with my own issues and i had decided since that i will have to deal with my own issues alone 

]]> 2022-04-14 13:43:32 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143889393 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143890156 There is lack of awareness and knowledge about mental health issues among people. Even I do.

Stress, Anxiety, Depression]]> 2022-04-14 13:44:10 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143890156 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143891096 Yes. I don't wanna burden anyone. Besides, I don't think they would understand fully what I've been through. I have been dealing with my mental health issues alone all these years, involving others feel out of place and weird. 

I developed this addiction to cope with everything. No one ever taught me what to do with negative emotions as we are always told to suppress them. So, what am I gonna do with this sadness or this anger, this frustration? I become addicted to pain. It had become my outlet to vent out my emotions. Apparently.. Physical pain is easier to deal with rather than invisible pain. So, hurting myself become a way for me to express myself. Of course, in common sense, in religion wise, or in culture wise, this is very wrong. So, back in 2017, I decided to stop it. It had been going on for years so it was really hard, well, even now. The sensation of pain somehow haunts me and I kinda long for it. Thankfully, I am doing better than I was years ago. I don't hurt myself anymore but if it gets too much I would go back to it. Well, til this day, I don't know how to deal with all this pent up emotions after all. Music had been one of my ways to fight against this addiction. Music helps me to ignore it and even help me to express my feelings nowadays. It's all fine now, well, hopefully. Cheers. ]]> 2022-04-14 13:44:59 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143891096 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143891762 Fear of judgement.

Diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalised anxiety disorder]]> 2022-04-14 13:45:32 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143891762 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143893376 No

Feeling burn out during the first semester because it was lock down. Can't get used to online class and feel like crying all the time]]> 2022-04-14 13:46:42 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143893376 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143894823 I don't know how to express my feelings and thoughts to others. Even if I do, they couldn't understand and comprehemd the situation that I'm in.

I experienced symptoms of depression and anxiety for almost 5 years. I went for counseling sessions with multiple counselors and psychologist. None but only a few in my circle of family or friends noticed my situation and tried to help but it got worse. Up to a point where I had sui***** thoughts and did several sui***** att*****. It was a tormenting experience and I wouldn't want others to experience it. ]]> 2022-04-14 13:47:52 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143894823 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143895427 I'll get called an attention seeker 😦😦

parents never give me enough attention, harmed myself to cope bc I don't know what else will help me (I already stopped sh, replaced them with music & drawing, still thought about doing it again, but too scared to do it) cried every night bc its the only time I can cry without feeling embarrassed, I hate everything about me which makes everything worse, starved myself bc I want to lose weight (stopped doing it a while ago), too scared to share this with parents or friends bc they'll call me an attention seeker, I've thought about killing myself sometimes, but I'm too scared to do it. I'm still relying on myself to get my life together, I'm still trying to think of a future for myself (bc my whole plan was to die lmao) figured it might be worth it to try a bit more.]]> 2022-04-14 13:48:17 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143895427 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143895811 Kerana takut dengan stigma & persepsi mereka. Bagi orang kebanyakan, masalah mental = gila

Sebenarnya ramai yang menghadapi masalah ini, tapi tidak ramai yang berani mendapatkan rawatan.]]> 2022-04-14 13:48:36 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143895811 maaheshnaidu https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143896250 no

So far I just get headache when there's so many assignments to do.. nothing serious and no pills taken so far.. ]]> 2022-04-14 13:48:58 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2143896250 aisyahndrh https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2144239269 yes, i kind of afraid others look me like a freak, and also some will think that my issue is just common issue, i should not mention it

I do have counseling session, but in this face pace living style, is quite hard to keep calm, sit down and take a rest, I often busy with all the courses, especially when I meet the problems from my courses i dont understand, I will become more stress. I do tried to exercise, but during exercise, the thought "I am wasting time now" keep echoing in my brain, sometimes i will even hate myself doing exercise.]]> 2022-04-14 18:41:56 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2144239269 aisyahndrh https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2144239667 Yes and no, it really depends on who I’m talking to. My mom is really supportive and try to understand me as much as she could. However, I don’t really prefer to talk about my mental health issues with the older generation since they can be close minded and often view people that are struggling with mental health issues as weaklings.

I struggled with anxiety issues when I was younger. I didn’t understand what was happening to me at that time and I start to lose interest in things that I like. I didn’t go to school for almost a year combined and I started to shut people down. From a very cheerful and extremely talkative person to someone that doesn’t even talk to her mom. Almost every night, I would have some kind of panic attack that affected my sleeping schedule. I didn’t know that it was a panic attack, I just thought that I was dying every night. My mom was really concerned and she brought me to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist told me that I was struggling with anxiety. Despite not going to school for almost a year and not learning anything, my family were shocked with my SPM results. One of them mentioned, if I didn’t skip school that much, I would probably receive straight As (which might be true). Even though they were happy with my results, I was not because I know that I can do better. I started to build myself up again during my matriculation. During the pandemic, I was struggling with ODL to the point it was affecting my mental health. I would cry almost every night for no reason and I started to have suicidal thoughts. I was worried that I would kill myself tbh which leads me to a series of panic attack. I couldn’t go to the kitchen for a while because every time I saw a knife, I would have these suicidal thoughts. I went to see the psychiatrist again and she mentioned that I’m showing symptoms of MDD and prescribed me with antidepressant. As time goes by, I started to feel better. Healing is a journey, it might not be a smooth sailing one as you might relapse from time to time but nevertheless it is a journey for us that prove that we are stronger than yesterday.]]> 2022-04-14 18:42:23 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2144239667 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2145224855 Yes.Because others perception about how weak i am if i tell them about my mental health.

Saya pernah hentak kepala banyak kali di stereng kereta waktu kena ulang alik dari rumah ke tempat kerja yang jaraknya sepanjang 81 km. Dan banyak lagi cara mencederakan diri yg telah saya buat utk release my stress.]]> 2022-04-15 23:37:42 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2145224855 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2145225303 Yes and No. It depends on who is talking to me at the moment. I can open up to some people and not open up to some. 

I am not diagnosed with any mental health issue but I'm aware with the symptoms. If some situation are getting heavy and my body can't take it, my mind gets too tired and it gets hectic inside my head. I tend to self harm too but I'm almost a year clean now. Opening up like telling my friends the situation I'm going through help me a lot to get things out of chest. But most of the time I dont even know why I feel so down, that was the part I dont like, I can't open up, I feel numb and everything feels so fast and rapid.]]> 2022-04-15 23:39:32 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2145225303 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2148465257 yes. im afraid of people dismissing my feelings and look at me as someone weak

from a very young age, i've had to accept the fact that my mother could never love me like she loves my sibling. i never felt accepted for who i was because i was constantly criticized for the way i look and feel. dont get me wrong, she has sacrificed a lot for me, and has done so much for me, more than i could ever ask for. but as much as that was true, there are also moments where the things she said and did would make me think of ending everything. and i think a lot of the unresolved issues that i have today stems from my relationship with my mum. all i wanted was for her to love me, all i wanted was for her to be proud of me, and all i wanted was her validation. but it seems that no matter what i try, i will never be enough for her. i will never be the child she always wanted. i will never be her]]> 2022-04-19 12:06:49 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2148465257 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152097727 Yes because I don’t think that people care, they just want to know. 

I don’t think that it was a mental health issue because it’s normal to have ups and downs or maybe I didn’t realize it was a mental health issue?? Idk. However, I felt really bad and sad but I didn’t know why. It was too difficult to explain. Like, you were there, but you felt nothing even in crowded places. ]]> 2022-04-21 14:03:18 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152097727 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152099164 Yes, because people will judge us 

Always feel that i was not good enough for anyone. And prefer to stay alone sometimes…. ]]> 2022-04-21 14:04:08 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152099164 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152100063 Tidak

Saya mengalami depression, anxiety dan PTSD sejak kecil yg telah disahkan oleh doktor pakar. Puncanya adalah daripada masalah keluarga, masalah dalam hubungan, trauma dengan orang sekeliling.]]> 2022-04-21 14:04:43 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152100063 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152101155 ya kerana risau masyarakat akan menghukum

-]]> 2022-04-21 14:05:24 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152101155 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152102026 Yes. I feel embarrassed with myself to share any of my problems with others.

I feel that I am useless, sometimes I feel I want to kill myself. I withdrawn from my family, friends and other people. And now I feel like I have anxiety to get out from my house or to go to some place I used to went to.]]> 2022-04-21 14:05:55 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152102026 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152103906 Yes. They wouldn't understand, and it would be awkward afterwards. Most of the time, I try to act normal, and it exhausts me. They will blame me. Look at me with pitiful eyes. It's kind of irritating.

I had anxiety about going out of the house when I was a young teenager. I feel very unsafe. I don't socialize with other family members. My life is only my room. It was a safe place, the safest in the world. A place where I can hide. I can't bear the feeling of someone watching me whenever I go outside, even at the house compound. I only knew the reasons when I grew up. I started to evaluate and try to make sense of this situation. When I was a child, around 6–8 years old, there was a group of naughty kids in my neighbourhood. They taught me about sex. I, who didn't know anything at a very young age, started to get involved in this immoral activity. My private area is no longer private. I've known pleasure at an age I wasn't supposed to. The worst part is, I don't remember any of their faces when I grew up. I lived in fear for years, until now, afraid that they would recognize me, watching me from afar, making fun of me. I don't remember their faces. What if they expose everything, monopolize me, and ruin my life again? I am very afraid. I am still recovering from the trauma. The fear does not seem to leave me.]]> 2022-04-21 14:06:26 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152103906 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152105338 Yes, people nowadays are so judgemental...so if we have told them something and we see how they reacts.. we might not tell them again

I lived in a broken home. I don't need more elaboration on this because I believed there is more out there. we are just broken pieces that tried to glued ourselves back. virtual hug to all survivors]]> 2022-04-21 14:07:06 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152105338 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152106097 Yes, feels too private and reluctant to share about it.

Almost lost my mind and almost jumped off from a building and just some self-harming things]]> 2022-04-21 14:07:36 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152106097 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152106930 yes i don't like people knowing that i'm weak

I want to kill myself. I want to leave this world so badly. My family told me that I'm not good at everything. Since we are in a pandemic, I have to live with my family. It means that I have more responsibilities to fulfil. I have to be a student and at the same time, I have to be a daughter. My parents would yell at me if I sat in my room for too long, but the thing is I'm in my class. I can't stay focused in my class or else they will beat me. That's why I have to do the work late at night so they won't bother to scream at me. I love being alone at home so I can do whatever I want and no one will get mad at me. I hope that I can get out of this house but they won't let me. They accused me of not being a good daughter just because I don't do the house chores. They often wish that I should just die because I'm useless. I'm so sick of them screaming at home. They should have just killed me when I was a baby. I didn't ask to be born anyway. My own family hates me, so why should I stay alive here in this world? I don't know how long I can be patient with all this. I'm so tired of crying every night. I hope that this is just a dream lol my dream is way better than my reality. I just want to be happy. 
Why is the world so unfair?]]> 2022-04-21 14:08:07 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2152106930 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2194394103 - will not share if I'm not close with that person - will not share randomly. if the conversation topic touched on what I had been through, then I might say a little more about it. 

- food & body image: exercised alot and ater very little. Stopped getting period for 6 months. Would avoid the mirror because I hated what I see in the mirror and also wished that I would not wake up the next day. ]]> 2022-05-22 09:40:28 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2194394103 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2194394643 Prone to violence

You're prone to violence and sometimes you can't control yourself]]> 2022-05-22 09:41:37 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2194394643 nsyahirahd https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2194394897 Yes i do, due to the stigma within my family and my surrounding.

Depression, anxiety, panic attacks are something that is rather frequent in my life. I also have un diagnosed ADHD and it sucks. ]]> 2022-05-22 09:42:11 UTC https://padlet.com/nsyahirahd/pots/wish/2194394897