Taylor M Peer Feedback 2022 - 2023 by Taylor Maza https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2022-10-21 14:45:11 UTC 2023-03-22 02:27:13 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/26f1.png Ella Longo 29elongo https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2353794110 I really liked how you described the sweat running down your neck,m and how you were sprinting to find your mom. I like how you describe yourself as a dancing swan. I wish you would’ve added more punctuation like comas.]]> 2022-10-24 15:08:36 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2353794110 Liana benoit 29lbenoit https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2353855854 a good part of your memoir is how you where aboul to describe the different details about how you were worried and how you where aboul to tell all of your emotions that you were feeling at that moment .Another thing that i liked is how you described how you where nervous and how you  felt running of of the stage.one thing I suggest  is to add more details of how you where running to go get dress and to find your mom.]]> 2022-10-24 15:41:05 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2353855854 Alana kravchenko https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2355927187 I like how you didn’t go too fast in your story, you slowed it down a lot, enough for me to feel like I’m there with you. Some memoirs I read felt as though it was going too fast, too fast for me to follow what was happening but you didn’t.

However I feel that the ussing as would have been better if for parts like   “My heart started to race like the floor was about to cave in”you should put as instead of like so for example “My heart started to race as if the floor was about to cave in” I think that over tall sounds better. Also another thing is that for one of your inner thoughts you forgot to highlight “i”. There are also a few parts that I felt did not have enough details, but overall great job.
]]> 2022-10-25 17:55:06 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2355927187 Maya Al Houch 29malhouch https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2357378544 I really liked how you kept on telling exactly what happened at the small moment. I also really like how you described what was happening around you. But I suggest that you add more talking in you piece so the reader could understand what is really happening.]]> 2022-10-26 14:21:16 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2357378544 Alexa cerchio 29acerchio https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2357800328 I loved your memoir and thought you had a lot of good figurative language and a lot of detail.]]> 2022-10-26 18:22:59 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2357800328 Lia Lockwood 29llockwood https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2403794641 One star in your story was how you added descriptive sentences. Another star was how you showed not tell when you were telling us how you had no idea where you were. However, a wish I added for you was to add more punctuation. I noticed you didn’t have commas where they were supposed to be and some places I noticed there were the wrong type of words. For example, when you meant to write there, you wrote there by mistake. Also, I think your story could have been longer. You could have added a little more dialogue and description, especially when you were writing your inner thoughts, because they didn’t have any commas or punctuation. Overall, I really liked your story!]]> 2022-11-30 16:02:29 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2403794641 Ella Longo 29elongo https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2403808173 I like how you described the different animals in your story. I also Like how you described how tired you were when the shoes made you run for miles. My wish is that you added more detail and stretched out the moments as well as add more punctuation. I also noticed how you didn't really have an intro, that would’ve made the story 10 times better. Overall really good job, my tay tay slay slay.]]> 2022-11-30 16:10:34 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2403808173 Ciara ware 29cware https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2404129604 Taylor, I really enjoyed your story and how you showed your confusion on why they wanted your shoes and how you didn’t know why they wanted your shoes and you really developed your character. Another thing i likes was how you kind of showed how you didn’t care that you were giving away your shoes because you didn’t know what was wrong with them so you didn’t want them.one thing I think you could have improved on was your punctuation and spelling and grammar other than that you did a great job on your story and you kept me interested]]> 2022-11-30 19:42:29 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2404129604 Leilu Colodne 29llcolodne https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2405355308 Your piece was amazing! I felt that you really incorporated what you needed to have. I liked how you aggravated more simple words / actions and how you made the plot / “What’s happening” in your story, making everything flow down and make sense. I also thought you really incorporated your point of view / First person. In addition, I like how you developed your. Main character with show not tell. The only thing I think you can improve on  punctuation and spelling. Don’t really have anything else to say, your piece was great!]]> 2022-12-01 15:52:54 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2405355308 Kayla Padilla 29kpadillacarvajal https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2486799379 Hi Tay tay! The strength of your essay is in how you described correctly what you think about uniforms being used in schools. As you explain the importance uniforms make kids of all ages feel makes me think that you think about it and realize how important it is. In addition, I like the way you tell the readers an example of how a kid could feel wearing uniforms at schools. However, a suggestion I can offer to your essay is to write a “Show not Tell” in you wonderful essay, this could help readers know more about it. Overall, your essay was incredible and so interesting! ]]> 2023-02-17 21:36:02 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2486799379 Ella Longo https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2488772131 Hi Tay! I loved how you used the descriptive words like, “The hot itchy fabric”. It really created a visual for the reader and I liked that! Another thing I really liked about your piece was how you described how kids are being bullied about this and how it really can affect kids mentally. One wish I have for though is about your video body paragraph and your infographic body paragraph. Both of those bp’s (body paragraphs) have the same claim. Other than that, great job! ]]> 2023-02-20 18:17:08 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2488772131 Bella Giannacio 29igiannacio https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2490127951 A strength of your essay was all the detail in your explanation scene. I understood what you were saying and had a picture on my mind. The word choice was on point! Another strength was your strong claims. They were very persuasive and had a great addition to the piece. The claim made the piece very easy to understand what you were explaining in your essay. However, a suggestion would be to make sure you have the font correct. I noticed that the paragraphs weren’t 1.5 spaced and that some parts weren’t size 12. Otherwise, your piece was amazing! 


]]> 2023-02-21 18:37:52 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2490127951 Lia Lockwood https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2492786531 Hi Taylor! A strength in your piece was your first paragraph. You showed why kids should have pets in the class and how it can teach them responsibly. Another strength was how you stated all the reasons why pets should be in the classroom. You stated all of the reasons I could think of! One thing I suggest is adding more description in your CEES paragraphs. I think you should add a little something where you can give us a scene of what is happening. But overall, you did amazing!]]> 2023-02-23 16:05:24 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2492786531 Madi Rocha 29mrocha https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2523736147 Hi, Taylor.  A strength of your theme paragraph, “Happy in Boundin Land” is the nice and unique word chosen. It showed a difference and marked the paragraph more unique. Also, I like how you spread an important message to your readers on what matters on the inside. However, I suggest that you try to make your evidence more relative to your claim.   ]]> 2023-03-20 15:00:55 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2523736147 Lia Lockwhileeeee https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2525562885 Hi Taylor! A strength in your theme paragraph, “Happy in Boundin in Land” was your word choice. I like how you chose words like, “pride” and “regain” I think that made your paragraph a lot better. Another thing that was really good in your paragraph was how your life lesson really tells the reader why they should do this in life. Something you could do better on is adding more description in certain parts. Other than that, it was really good!]]> 2023-03-21 15:05:10 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2525562885 Liana benoit https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2525656909 hi Taylor,i really like that you put “for example as the Pixar short boundin at 2:00 is states “pink?pink? Well,what’s wrong with pink ? Seems you got a pink kink in your head . Does it matter what color?Well,that gets a nope, be it pink,purple or heliotrope . Now sometimes you’re up and sometimes you're down when you find that you’re down well just look around”.This is an incredible part in your paragraph. Secondly, I really like that you put “to sum it up,in boundin the theme is always to help someone in need of help to regain their confidence and never put someone else down. All throw I wish that you put a little more into the explanations to help bring your paragraph to its best this will make it a little longer and have more to it.


]]> 2023-03-21 15:57:20 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2525656909 Demmmmmmmmmmmmmmmi 29dluna1 https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2526041885 Hi, I really like your second explanation. You wrote a lot which makes your writing greate i like how you highlighted all boundin. I would add more transition words.


]]> 2023-03-21 20:25:33 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2526041885 Nina V https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2526407481 Hey Tay-Tay-Lay-Lay-May-May-Way-Way-Banana-Bay! A strength of your writing piece is the way you summarized it well and also still get the message across without getting off task. In addition, I really liked your way of stating the evidence  because it helped support your claim. When you stated, “Pink? Pink? Well, what's wrong with pink? Seems you got a pink kink in your head. Does it matter what color? Well, that gets a nope, be it pink, purple or heliotrope. Now, sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down, when you find that you're down, well, just look around.” I saw the relation of the evidence to the claim, and it matched up. A suggestion I have though is to check for grammar and punctuation mistakes. I only spotted a few, but just make sure to double check! Other then that, your piece was great!]]> 2023-03-22 02:27:13 UTC https://padlet.com/29tmaza/dajlmmxqv07vpgtn/wish/2526407481