Many women still do not receive appropriate and respectful care when their baby dies during pregnancy or childbirth.

When Jessica was 16 weeks along she began having some light bleeding. She went directly to the doctor and everything looked well.

Two days later the bleeding increased and the she was in extreme pain, she didn’t realise that this was the pain of labour and on October 11 2012 her baby fell from her body while she was home alone.

the trauma of this experience is unforgettable, imagine a woman has to loose her baby when she all alone and there was no one to help her, having to cut the cord by herself.

This gave Jessica trauma when she got pregnant again she was scared and traumatised to loose her baby again but after 9 months her healthy daughter was born

Her husband and her were devastated, they grieved in different ways and initially struggled to find common ground. He didn’t experience haunting dreams, lactating breasts, or spiking hormones .

What I learn from this :

I feel like Jessica didn’t get enough support with her mental health like other women would have and the fact that was her first a baby it’s so much worse, she’s getting nightmares which can lead to insomnia if she doesn’t try to get help. I believe that a therapist would also help, she needs someone who she can speak to about everything she’s feeling and experiencing which could help her cope with the pain and the stress.

When Larai first got pregnant she was exited, she was elated, shopped for the baby, chose names but then after 3 months, she has light bleeding she was put on bed rest and it stopped.

When she was 5.5 months pregnant she was awoken by a huge gush of water and she was told she was having a miscarriage. For Larai it was such a painful experience but she had a supportive family which made it better.

Coping her miscarriage was traumatic but the medical stuff contributing a lot to her grief despite the facts she was a doctor too. They put her first baby in a plastic bag and left beside her table - ( I believe that was one of the most horrible thing anybody could do that a woman who has just lost her baby and as being a nurse is their job to make sure the patient is feeling better not worse )

The nurses were so unfriendly towards me, and made the ordeal worse. The other issue for Larai is the cultural attitudes of people there. In Africa people think you can lose a baby because if a curse or witchcraft.

Here, child loss is surrounded by stigma because some people believe there is something wrong with a woman who has had recurrent losses, that she may have been promiscuous, and so the loss is seen as a punishment from God. In most traditional African cultures, these feelings are exacerbated because the worth of a woman is often determined by the children she carries to term.

What I learn from this :

Larai case is similar to Jessica the only few things are different is her culture and that she’s a doctor too, I believe that as Larai was a doctor she knows what happens but I do believe that she should have had so much help for loosing her first baby and the fact that the nurses were not helping her but making it worse for Larai it’s horrible. As women’s they should have supported Larai with everything and made it easy for to cope with this situation rather than leaving the dead baby in a plastic bag next to her this could leave her with ptsd or give her nightmares.

Kimberly had 3 miscarriage, all around 10 weeks gestation, they happen all naturally. She was devastated every single time, after one of them she sat in the shower crying for all almost five hours. Now she’s fully at peace with her 5 healthy children.

What she found disheartening is that not all women, or fathers for that matter, are treated with the same compassion or have support during this gut wrenching time. Not all women are given option or information on how to handle them.

What I learnt :

I believe that Kimberly is such a strong women, she did not give up after having 5 miscarriage and stayed strong for herself and her husband, this shows that you should always have hope there’s always a solution and you should never give up. If Kimberly would have given up she would not be leaving isthmus her 5 healthy kids and her husband.

The hospital can carry out tests to confirm whether you're having a miscarriage. The tests can also confirm whether there's still some pregnancy tissue left in your womb

The first test used is usually an ultrasound scan to check the development of your baby and look for a heartbeat. In most cases, this is usually carried out using a small probe inserted into the vagina (transvaginal ultrasound). This can feel a little uncomfortable but is not painful.

You may also be offered blood tests to measure hormones associated with pregnancy. You usually need to have 2 blood tests 48 hours apart to see if your hormone levels go up or down.

If you've had a third miscarriage, it's recommended that the foetus is tested for abnormalities in the chromosomes (blocks of DNA).

If a genetic abnormality is found, you and your partner can also be tested for abnormalities with your chromosomes that could be causing the problem. This type of testing is known as karyotyping.

If karyotyping detects problems with your or your partner's chromosomes, you can be referred to a clinical geneticist (gene expert).

They'll be able to explain your chances of a successful pregnancy in the future and whether there are any fertility treatments, such as IVF, that you could try. This type of advice is known as genetic counselling.

Lisa had 4 miscarriages over the four.

The most traumatic was the first one, that was the very first time I got pregnant. We were so excited about our new baby.

we went in for the 12-week scan in our local hospital in the South-East of England, I was told I had a missed miscarriage, also called a silent miscarriage, which meant the baby died a long time ago but my body hadn't showed any signs. I was told that even though they knew the baby wasn’t alive, hospital policy was that I had to wait a week and return for a scan to confirm. I was devastated. I also couldn’t believe that they were going to just send me home with my dead baby inside me, and no advice about what to do. 

I kept asking what I should do now and how I should cope, and the healthcare staff just said there was nothing to be done, and miscarriage was really common in early pregnancy. They didn’t even give me the number of a helpline to call. 

What I learnt :

I believe that what she’s been going through is absolutely horrible I could not imagine anyone else going through this, having a feeling of not having your baby anymore with you is one of the most painful and heartbreaking experience .

this is also the worst part of miscarriage when there’s no one helping her, because she clearly needs help with her mental health and physical and it’s the healthcare staff job to do anything in their power to help you cope with the loss

• Marylin Monroe had quite a few abortion which then led to her inability to hold a pregnancy, she had endometriosis, a condition where the tissue normally lining the inside of a uterus grows outside,which can often affect one’s hormones balance and cause infertility.  Manrylin did want to have a family but due to her career it wasn’t the best decision she could have so that led her to have another abortion which then brought her up to have the inability to hold a baby. 

  
  

• Marylin first experienced her miscarrige in September 1957, and lost her second in ectopic pregnancy in august 1957, then had another miscarrige in December 1958 which led her to stop trying as she really wanted to start a new chapter in her life alongside her love as she never had a family of her own, so this affected her in many ways.People said that after the miscarriages she was never the same because she also stopped seeing her psychiatrist.

• Marylin Monroe started using pills and alcohol to cope with the pain of the miscarriages. For her those were like self medication to deal with this medical condition, she blamed herself for her last miscarrige, which happened after she filmed ‘ Some Like It Hot ‘.

  
  

• Shortly before her death from an overdose at the age of 36, Marylin is shown getting kidnapped for wanting to keep her affair with the president, they force her to have a second abortion to get rid of the president's baby.

Siobhan had her first miscarrige, she didn't tell many people i think the reason that she didn't tell people might be that they would blame her or tell her fake things and make her more anxious then she already is, losing a baby is one of the most painful thing that could ever happen to a woman and no matter how much support you get it could never be enough to forget the pain and the feeling you had when the loss happen.

When Siobhan became pregnant for the third time she was anxious, she was scared that something might happen to the baby, she kept getting as many checkups possibly to ensure the baby was safe and everything looks healthy but when she was 17 weeks pregnant she wasn’t feeling well and she was also bleeding and her water also broke so she knew something was wrong and she called her midwife but as she wasn't 18 weeks pregnant the midwife could not see her so Siobhan had to call 111 and put into A&E and then found out that she has another miscarriage.

• Siobhan - Siobhan's story: second trimester loss - The Miscarriage Association

Siobhan had her first miscarrige, she didn't tell many people i think the reason that she didn't tell people might be that they would blame her or tell her fake things and make her more anxious then she already is, losing a baby is one of the most painful thing that could ever happen to a woman and no matter how much support you get it could never be enough to forget the pain and the feeling you had when the loss happen.

When Siobhan became pregnant for the third time she was anxious, she was scared that something might happen to the baby, she kept getting as many checkups possibly to ensure the baby was safe and everything looks healthy but when she was 17 weeks pregnant she wasn’t feeling well and she was also bleeding and her water also broke so she knew something was wrong and she called her midwife but as she wasn't 18 weeks pregnant the midwife could not see her so Siobhan had to call 111 and put into A&E and then found out that she has another miscarriage.

Jane got pregnant after her spain holiday, as it was her second time getting pregnant she knew what to expect like the morning sickness, weird cravings and all those things but she never felt the vomiting at all which was weird for her as for the first time she was pregnant she was very sick.

Jane was very excited after meeting her midwife,she started thinking about the things she would but for her baby, however when she was close to 11 weeks she had some spotting of blood, she also started having period pain so she called her midwife and then she had to go to the EPU and her baby only measured 5 weeks.

She couldn't tell what was going on so she was booked for another scan but after 2 days she started having heavy bleeding, as she was already on a holiday she just tried to forget it and had fun with her son and guest,the next day she started bleeding a lot and had period