Grief Wiki Resources by Katrina Ruggles

The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 00:14:09 UTC

The resource I would like to share with the class is The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses, including Health, Career, and Faith, by John W. James and Russell Friedman. The Grief Recovery Handbook focuses on the work done by the authors at the Grief Recovery Institute.

This handbook is so helpful because it acknowledges many different types of loss. Their system helps give you skills to grieve tangible and symbolic losses. Here are some of the key takeaways from this book.

- "Since most of us have been socialized to attempt to resolve all issues with our intellect, grief remains a huge problem." (James & Friedman, 2009, p. 5).

- "Recovery means claiming your circumstances instead of your circumstances claiming you and your happiness." (James & Friedman, 2009, p. 6).

- The authors believe that the emotional stages of grief that someone who is dying goes through have been applied to other human emotions. "Grief, which follows death, divorce, and other losses, should not, however, be regarded in terms of stages." (James & Friedman, 2009, p. 11).

- "Grief is the entire range of naturally occurring human emotions that accompany loss" (James & Friedman, 2009, p. 47).

The activity in the book I found to be the most useful was the Relationship History Graph (James & Friedman, 2009, p. 115), where you create a timeline of your history with a person, place, or concept, such as a business. Everything positive goes on top of the timeline, and everything negative goes on the bottom. Then, you organize all of the events on the timeline into apologize, forgiveness, and significant emotional statements (James & Friedman, 2009, p. 136). Then, you write it out in a Grief Recovery Completion Letter (James & Friedman, 2009, p. 145).

I have used this process to help me grieve the passing of my grandmother, putting down two family dogs, losing my business, working through burnout, losing friendships, and my changing identity as an entrepreneur during COVID-19. This process has helped me identify effective ways to grieve my tangible and symbolic losses. I plan to use this resource with my clients who are experiencing their own losses and need support in grieving them.

Source

James, J. W., & Friedman, R. (2009). The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th anniversary Expanded Edition: The Action Program for moving Beyond death, divorce, and other losses including health, career, and faith (20th Anniversary). William Morrow.

Nikole Stanfield

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 00:33:35 UTC

I use TherapistAid for activities and worksheets for a lot of my substance use disorder groups so naturally I went there for a topical resource on grief. I found this childhood grief one apt for this week.

I like it, as it confirms my assumption about children. My brother and his wife are consistently "shielding" their daughter from "tough topics" like injuries and death, and I always assumed it was hurting her development as a human. (After all, life is just a series of losses!)

I've previously never thought about "grief" and "children" in the same sentence so I enjoyed this exercise. Overall, this is a great resource for folks that "baby" their kids, or just people in general, and could change a few minds and help the children heal faster and/or simply have a healthier relationship with loss.

Steven Schilling

How Grief Affects Your Brain And What To Do About It

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 04:18:01 UTC

I have been at my Practicum/Internship site since January, which is the Neurofeedback Clinic of Northern Colorado. I was a former client years ago and neurofeedback was extremely helpful for me, and I also have heard all of the amazing benefits with current clients. I know that the brain is the “missing puzzle piece” when we think about counseling in general and especially when dealing with grief and loss. When looking for my WIKI resource, I wanted to make sure that it was in plain terms and relatable to everyone. This short Youtube video puts into perspective what is actually going on with the brain when we are dealing with grief and loss, some helpful tips in order to navigate this process, and everyone has their own individual time frame as to when they have navigated and processed their grief and loss. I really like the simplicity of this video and hope that it will be beneficial for others going through their own grief and loss.

Bridgette O'Boyle

The journey through loss and grief

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 04:20:49 UTC

First off, I love TED talks and any type of video that I can learn from and see different perspectives. In the video I shared, Jason B. Rosenthal speaks about his wife’s death and his journey through grief and loss. I really enjoy hearing other stories and their view on grief, this is probably why I have enjoyed the book Finding Meaning so much. Rosenthal stresses the end of life and how it impacts the future grieving process. I feel like this concept is something that I never fully grasped until I got to hear the many stories about how important our last few weeks can be compared to our entire lives. I believe in one of the documentary videos we watched in this class they also spoke on this thought and how important it was for one of the patients to have his grandchildren running around and around him during his hospice in home. Rosenthal expresses that although the memories during hospice in home were beautiful, they were also very hard to go through and he carries those images with him still. He also mentions that his ability to persevere was his wife telling him to move on before she passed, and essentially giving him permission. I also really liked how he mentions that so many people tell him that he’s doing so well with her death, but he explains that he is sad all of the time and he didn’t know if the despair would ever go away. He then lists multiple things in his life combined that has helped him feel better and how time is so important in grief because one day you will smile or laugh again and you wont even realize it.

Kimberly Harbaugh

We don't "move on" from grief. We move forward with it

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 04:22:52 UTC

I can't remember how long ago I listened to author Nora McInerny's TED talk on grief, but it has stuck with me for many, many years. I think her TED talk helps normalize and reframe grief. It helped me understand what grief can look like for those who have lost someone very close to them (as I haven't yet). I think this TED talk is great for those who are supporting someone in grief and for those who are grieving themselves. Plus, she's funny, making it fun to watch.

Allison Devault

10 Grief Counseling Therapy Techniques & Interventions” by Jeremy Sutton, Ph.D.

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 04:25:53 UTC

I really like this resource because it provides helpful definitions on grief processes (such as the four tasks of mourning), a video on three effective grief interventions, plenty of examples of the 10 techniques and interventions listed, as well as links to several other handouts relevant to helping clients work through their individual grief experiences. This resource, in my opinion, has a great variety of techniques and interventions that can be used for clients in various developmental stages as well as with clients from diverse and multicultural backgrounds.

Leanne Sanchez

"Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief" by Joanne Cacciatore, PhD

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 04:30:30 UTC

I've been interested in Grief and Loss for a bit now, so I actually read the book "Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief" by Joanne Cacciatore, PhD over the summer. This book is composed of short chapters surrounding grief, mainly utilizing personal stories to convey her experience with grief. Being a trauma and bereavement professor, she has years of experience working with clients who have experienced grief and even speaks to her own experience with the loss of her daughter. This book allowed me to better understand ways in which grief impacts people, and how personalized the experience can be. She gives insight into different ways in which grief can be processed or explained to those trying to move through it. She tells a story about someone she worked with who ended up personifying their grief to better 'get to know' and understand the grief. My favorite chapter (which I'll include) speaks to a great way to explain coping with grief.

Jessica Mehring

What's Your Grief podcast

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 04:32:38 UTC

Hi everyone, For my resource, I chose to go with the What's Your Grief podcast. I found this site just through a Google search a while ago when looking for extra resources when working with my clients. This podcast really spoke to me because it offers so many episodes on different types of grief. Recently, I listened to one on pet loss and also how people within families grieve differently. I think my favorite thing about listening to these podcasts is that they feel very straightforward but caring and relatable. As their tagline says, this podcast offers no tilted heads, no soothing tones, just real-world grief talk, which as a resource is so valuable because it allows us to embrace the authenticity of what grief looks like for us and know we are not alone in the process. As well as the podcast, there is the website https://whatsyourgrief.com/, which offers resources for those grieving, those supporting, and grieving professionals.

Megan Sears

Pioneers of Hospice

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 04:35:09 UTC

The documentary "Pioneers of Hospice" was one which I was introduced to this summer while enrolled in an End-of-Life Doula certificate program through the University of Vermont. I feel it is a natural complement to comparable expositions such as Being Mortal. While much of this involves an exploration of the history of hospice care, it also provides valuable perspective on our changing conception of / approach to death, anticipatory grief, and the reality of unavoidable loss as mortal beings. When I viewed it, I felt a meaningful shift in my perspectives on this subject, and particularly in my sense of how I will approach clients facing the loss of their own life.

Chris Linn

Breaking the Silence of Pregnancy Loss by Tanika Dillard

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 04:37:59 UTC

Beaking the Silence of Pregnancy Loss

I have worked with several women who were grieving numerous miscarriages.

One of them shared the below Ted Talk video with me helpful to her.
I appreciate Tanika's vulnerability, realism and positivty in this video.

I think speaking your loss is vital part of healing. That's my biggest takeaway from this video and helping people through pregnancy loss. To whom can you speak of this loss? How can you name it?

Scott Slayback

“Prayer in the Night” by Tish Warren

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 04:39:52 UTC

The book that I chose for this assignment is called “Prayer in the Night” by Tish Warren. This is a book that I would only recommend to clients who have disclosed their Christian faith which since I am providing services in Colorado Springs is more common than not. The book deals unflinchingly with the concept of loss, death, hopelessness, and fears that we are totally alone in the face of such existential experiences. The authenticity and vulnerability with which Tish Warren writes about this provides a palpable catharsis for those who are brushing up against similar themes in their own lives which is incredibly valuable to someone undergoing such incredibly difficult times. It also provides a framework of sorts for lament through faith as well as outlining that this need and this experience is not a modern invention but rather something that has lay at the heart of an ailing humanity for thousands of years. This book was invaluable to me during a horrific season of loss over the past two years, even though I did not consider myself a person of faith. There is so much gentlness and rawness in the words found on these pages. I highly recommend it.

Caleb Foust

The Science of Loss and Recovery with Mary-Frances O’Connor

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 04:41:48 UTC

I listened to this podcast when it came out in 2022 as it addressed some specific ways processing grief had shifted during the pandemic. I lost my mom to COVID and while I was in the room when she passed on, many close family members were able to be on zoom. That is a small part of this podcast.

The majority of the podcast discusses an approach to grief and grieving using neuroscience. A couple of key take aways:

Grief is the feeling of loss that can be overwhelming
Grieving is the way that grief changes over time in frequency and intensity, but never fully goes away. It is a kind of learning that enables us to go through out the world so that we can feel the grief but also get what we want out of life.
There is never "getting over it" when it comes to grief, it changes you in a permanent way. They use the analogy of "getting over your wedding day", that is an event that changes you forever eventho you don't necessarily celebrate it the same way over time.
She found through her research that progressive muscle relaxation specifically enabled people to process their grief effectively
The stages of grief as defined by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, aren't linear stages per se, but rather are phases that come and go in the form of waves that vary by frequency and amplitude.

Enjoy: https://www.happierapp.com/podcast/tph/mary-frances-oconnor-450

She has also written a book, that I have not read but colleagues at my practice have and highly recommend it: The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss

Mike Trimborn

Counseling Clients Near The End Of Life by James L. Werth, Jr.

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 04:44:33 UTC

As someone who is very interested in palliative care work with individuals who are dying as well as the loved ones and family systems around them, I found this book in our Theories textbook as one of the suggested readings for people who would like to work with people who are dying. My suggestion is the book, Counseling Clients Near The End Of Life by James L. Werth, Jr. I read this book as a way to further explore my interest in working with this population, and found it to be an extremely practical guide for working with folks who are dying as well as their grieving loved ones. This text provides case studies, explores ethical legal dilemmas of working with those near death, and advice on working with grieved families before and after their loved ones have passed. This book also dives into the auxiliary symptoms of folks anticipating their own death or the death of their loved ones and how to anticipate and work with those concurrent issues as they arise. Highly recommend for anyone who is hoping to work in palliative care in any capacity!

Taylor Arrogante-Reyes

Going with Grace: Simple, Knowledgeable, and Compassionate End of Life Planning, Training, and Support

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 04:46:54 UTC

From Going with Grace's website: “Our Mission: To relieve the burden created without proper end of life support, Going with Grace exists to support people as they answer the question “What must I do to be at peace with myself so that I may live presently and die gracefully?” and to support family members in completing the affairs of their loved one’s life after a death.”

Going with Grace is an educational and networking resource for end-of-life planning and death doula training. The website offers workbooks to help simplify the complex tasks required for people who are approaching the end of their life, or for people who are taking care of a loved one’s affairs. It also has a Death Doula Directory where you can look up local doulas for yourself or for clients who are wanting death-related support.

My partner went through the death doula training offered by Going with Grace a couple years ago and had a very positive experience. Going with Grace’s team consists of attorneys, caretakers, financial planners, and certified death doulas who all have extensive knowledge about end-of-life planning and support. Their death doula training is a really cool resource for anyone wanting to learn more about the practical aspects of supporting someone through grief and loss after a death!

Felix Barry

The Science & Process of Healing from Grief | Huberman Lab Podcast #74

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-21 04:48:54 UTC

I've chosen to share Andrew Huberman's Podcast episode on Grief.

There is a great balance in Mr. Huberman's discussions between the biological functions of ourselves and the corresponding emotional and "human" elements of living. In this episode the host explores some of the biological and neurological elements of grief and correlates the function of neuroplasticity in the grief process. Two plus hours on the subject and, in my opinion, some very relevant ideas within the context of exploring and learning more about grief dynamics, bearing in mind we are all unique and will respond to loss in different ways.

Lance Jacobs

Finding Joy in Grief: A Radical and Mindful Approach to Grieving | Sky Jarrett | TEDxMargueriteLake

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-22 06:44:16 UTC

For this Wiki Assignment, I am choosing the TED Talk, “Finding Joy in Grief: A Radical and Mindful Approach to Grieving” by Sky Jarrett. Sky opens up this TED talk by stating how grief and loss are inevitable experiences for all humans, and we will lose a lot of things that we love. Sky discusses different mindset shifts that we can utilize when we are at a place in our lives where grief is present. The first one being that grief exists beyond death and it is okay to grieve things we lose in our lives, because they are usually big losses. (loss of a relationship, loss of career, etc.) The second one that joy can still exist even when are grieving. Third one being that grief affects our whole body and causes physical ailments as well. Fourth is that there is no shame in grief, and we should never apologize for grieving. Five, there is no specific time period in which our grief must come to an end. I think these mindset shifts can be really helpful for us and future clients because these categories relate to common misconceptions about grief. But once we acknowledge they are misconceptions, then we can no longer feel shame and understand the grieving process is complex and so many things can come out of this process. Being mindful allows us to identify what is related to grief, and if we ignore or reject it then we are doing ourselves a disservice. I really like this TED talk, and the radical side of what Sky was discussing. It made me think of the DBT skill of radical acceptance and how that skill could be helpful in grief. I am not accepting that I am okay with this by any means, but more accepting this is my reality and I am going to be faced with many challenges. Overall, I really think this was a great source and mindfulness can be really helpful in the face of grief.

Kaitlyn Owens

What's Missing: Dr Sarah Wayland

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-23 03:03:27 UTC

https://missed.org.au/ I chose ambiguous loss because I work with LGBTQ+ clients who have varying experiences with the ambiguous loss of family who do not accept their identity. I also have two friends whose loved ones have gone missing. I found two sites that I wanted to share about ambiguous loss.

Offers an introductory hour-long YouTube video talking about ambiguous loss and how it affects someone whose loved one has gone missing. Dr. Sarah Wayland discusses the effects of dealing with a missing person to what families found helpful in coping with the loss and their needs in dealing with police, and media. The site also offers a paid training course for professionals who want more training. It is based in Australia, but I found the information helpful.

Ruth Hyland

Ambiguous Loss by Dr. Pauline Boss

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-23 03:04:38 UTC

Dr. Pauline Boss pioneered the research on ambiguous loss, and has a website https://www.ambiguousloss.com/ filled with information and resources for learning about and dealing with ambiguous loss including interviews, presentations, podcasts, paid training for professionals, and links to her books.

Ruth Hyland

Flourish Therapy, Inc.

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-23 03:06:19 UTC

Since I work with LGBTQ+ clients, I wanted to share my internship site’s website because it has links to so many resources to support LGBTQ+ people and their families. My hope is the information can help prevent ambiguous loss for children and their families who do not know how to deal with their child’s changing identity. https://www.flourishtherapy.org/resources

Ruth Hyland

Waves of Grief- An Old Man's Words

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-23 03:08:51 UTC

When I was a pre-teen, I attended a funeral with my family for someone from church that I had never met before or heard of. I oddly don't remember any details of the funeral or the individual's passing but I do remember one particular person's eulogy. The deceased person's teen son read the article I pasted below and I remember being completely struck and overly emotional when he read it. I was instantly shocked then quickly judgemental of this reaction because I didn't know anything about this person. The article is not credited with any author that I'm aware of and states,

“I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not.

I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents...

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. But I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it.

Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.

As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too.

If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.”

It's obviously very poetic but I think hearing these words from another kid around my age, at the time, was very powerful. And has stuck with me to this day almost 18 years later.

I proceeded through life not thinking much about this then one of my close friend's mom passed away and, somehow, this came back into my awareness. I sent this article to her and I don't think it changed anything major in her life but she said it was one of the more helpful supports she'd received throughout the shockwaves of losing her parent. It's not something I send out to everyone going through a grieving process but I think it's a great, short, encouraging perspective related to processing grief. I like that it's concise so it's something very accessible for all. It's strengths-based and sets the expectation that there are no expectations. Grief is hard. You don't ever totally get used to it and the real goal is to hope you don't ever get used to it. Grief is a testament to love and not something to fear but to expect and accept. Easier said then done.

Might not be everyone's cup of tea but this resource has certainly helped me when I've had the misfortune of losing someone close to me. And it's something I hope to offer to clients in the future--when appropriate.

Again, there's no cited author that I can find on the internet but I pulled this passage from a blog post that has very pretty imagery and somewhat average commentary. Enjoy.

Jacob Bergtrom

Psilocybin produces substantial and sustained decreases in depression and anxiety in patients with life-threatening cancer: A randomized double-blind trial

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-23 17:32:13 UTC

I have chosen to include an article about a study that used psilocybin to address depression and anxiety in patients with life-threatening cancer. This study included 51 cancer patients with depression and anxiety who were either givin two either low dose 1-3 mg/70kg or high dose 22-30 mg/70kg of psilocybin to address what I can summarize as anticipatory grief. The results of this study were that the high dose psilocybin group showed sustained reduction of anxiety and depression that came on rapidly with 79% showing clinically significant reduction in depression and 83% in anxiety sustained for 6 months. Some additional benefical aspects of using psilocybin in this setting that address anticipatory grief are some patients reported a more positive and accepting attitudes about death that were at times acompanied by mystical-type experiences and the experience helped to address existential distress about the terminal cancer diagnosis. While this study does not directly address how psilocybin could be used in combination with therapy to address anticipatory grief it does present itself as an interesting possibility for future work with grief.

Philip Benjamin

10 Things Grieving Children Want You to Know

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-23 17:34:06 UTC

Much of the work I currently do is in play therapy with children who have experienced trauma or abuse. Grief over divorce, an absent or addicted parent, or the loss of a member of the immediate family are frequent concerns in my practice. When working with the children, I feel there is just as much a role in preparing parents or primary caregivers for ways to help them throughout their week. My supervisor pointed out very early on that we see these children maybe an hour a week the rest of the time, we do not. I have found that incorporating caregivers provides more effective counseling experiences and facilitates continued improvement and growth for the family after services end. Additionally, most parents or caregivers want to know how they can help.

With that in mind, the resource I selected is something specific to the death of a friend, family member, or loved one. I believe this resource could be easily printed out and given to parents providing easy-to-follow tips for helping their child navigate the loss. I love that it highlights the significance of using clear, direct language at an age-appropriate level to inform children about the loss. It also emphasizes the need to allow children to be a part of rituals, services, and celebrating anniversaries, birthdays, etc., after the loss of a loved one. Sometimes, adults may leave children out of these types of events to protect them from pain but it is important to children just as it is for adults to have a grief process, rituals, and way to memorialize the loss and have the same opportunity to connect with others. It also provides them an opportunity to see how other trusted adults are grieving and coping with the loss. These young children look to their loved ones and caregivers for role modeling healthy behaviors, so it also reminds parents/caregivers of the need to allow children to see how they are grieving and to find healthy ways to do so.

Schneider, L. (n.d.). 10 things grieving children want you to know: Eluna Network. elunanetwork.org. https://elunanetwork.org/resources/10-things-greiving-children-want-you-to-know

Anna Woodword

Konigsberg, R. D. (2011). The truth about grief: The myth of its five stages and the new science of loss. Simon & Schuster.

caldonruggleskl — 2024-09-23 17:36:23 UTC

The Truth About Grief, by Ruth Davis Konigsberg is a resource that will challenge and even counter some of our popular ideas of grief, including Kubler-Ross’s 5 stages of grief. The author not only challenges the concept behind stages of grief, but presents other, much more focused, research findings that can counter our presumptions and our therapeutic upbringing.

I chose this book for several reasons, not least of which was that my supervisor is promoting the 5 stage framework to me and I realized that there are some things missing in my view of grief, grieving, and the cultural and personal expectations both therapists and clients bring into the room regarding loss and grief.

Indeed, the author notes that there is actually a stigma against people that have “the ability to achieve an acceptable adjustment to someone’s death within a relatively short period of time.”

The author backs up the themes in the book with thorough review of research, and also mentions are related book, The Other Side of Sadness by George Bonnano.

References:

Konigsberg, R. D. (2011). The truth about grief: The myth of its five stages and the new science

of loss. Simon & Schuster.

Simon and Schuster Books (2010, December 24). Ruth Davis Konigsberg discusses The Truth

About Grief [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/_AAgLNxEaV8?feature=shared

Konigsberg, R. D. (2011, January 29). New Ways to Think About Grief. Time Magazine, Jan. 24,

2011 issue. https://time.com/archive/6595176/new-ways-to-think-about-grief/

Dan Shorb