Defensiveness Action Plans | Friday by Michelli Castaneda https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch Post your "defensiveness action" plan. [1] Double click anywhere. [2] Add your plan to the text box. [3] Add your name to the title spot, only if you're comfortable doing so. [4] Read, comment on, and like others' posts. en-us 2020-11-20 22:01:54 UTC 2025-11-12 19:34:48 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/957946772 I tend to want to throw lots of facts around when I am defensive, so my action step is to ask others their thoughts. ]]> 2020-11-24 21:31:41 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/957946772 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/960913653 I tend to close down when I get defensive. My action step will be to step away for a moment, compose myself, and re-enter the conversation.]]> 2020-11-25 18:15:33 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/960913653 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/969647053 I often will blame others when I feel defensive. My action step will be to take a moment to think about what is going on and then communicate what I believe the situation to be. It is likely that we all have the same end goals in mind.]]> 2020-11-30 01:08:46 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/969647053 When people challenge me in an aggressive, or combative manner, i shut down. My action step moving forward will be to breathe, and ask for a moment to think about their point of view. https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/973251154 2020-11-30 20:11:37 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/973251154 I shut down when I feel defensive and block out the other person's thoughts, feelings, and perspective. My action step is to step away, take a deep breath and practice perspective-taking before returning to the discussion with a fresh pair of ears. daringtoteach99 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/973578362 2020-11-30 21:47:10 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/973578362 Clam up https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/973741616 I definitely clam up and I think it's because I don't trust myself to communicate well when feeling that way. My action step will be to try and take deep breaths so I can participate while maintaining productive communication. ]]> 2020-11-30 23:00:03 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/973741616 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/974058309 I feel a rush of adrenaline when I feel defensive, and can become aggressive or sharp tounged.  My action step is to take a deep breath to find my inner calm so that I can approach the situation as calmly as I would like to be approached. 

]]> 2020-12-01 01:39:25 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/974058309 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/976598981 depending on who I'm interacting with, when I become defensive, I tend to become loud and argumentative with my family/those I'm comfortable with and clam up with others. in both cases need to take a deep breath and count to 5 before responding.]]> 2020-12-01 17:16:21 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/976598981 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/976840933 I tend to be overly emotional when I become defensive. My action step is to take a deep breath, remind myself that this is just a moment and things will be okay and think before speaking

]]> 2020-12-01 18:01:29 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/976840933 I tend to shut down and become very quiet when Im feeling defensive. I quit expressing my feeling and thoughts. I just want to escape the situation, I want it to be over. My action step will be to take a deep breath and commit to saying how I really feel....in a nice way. https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/978526692 2020-12-02 03:56:31 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/978526692 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/981060959 My action plan is to breath and clarify intent of the individual with whom or what I feel caused me to be defensive. The key to clarification is to do it without judgement or without any kind of accusatory tone.

]]> 2020-12-02 18:25:40 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/981060959 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/981682552 I definitely shut down when I become defensive. I'm probably the silent person in the room. I need to open my mind and ask more questions - maybe ask for some time to think things through a bit so I can calm down and see the other side.]]> 2020-12-02 20:43:36 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/981682552 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/981711013 I tend to get angry and raise my voice or say this conversation is ridiculous and walk away when things escalate. I need to pause and take some breaths, and try to choose my words more carefully with intention. If I feel it escalating, then I still think discussing at a later date or gathering your thoughts when you're more rational is a better plan than allowing things to become argumentative. There is a difference here between personal relationships and business though. ]]> 2020-12-02 20:52:29 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/981711013 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/985388122 I completely withdraw into deadly silence! That is me exactly me. And my blood pressure sky rockets. My action step is to take deep breaths, step away if I can, essentially collect myself. Then try to reengage in the conversation. ]]> 2020-12-03 19:36:45 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/985388122 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/985777806 I have a tendency to become authoritarian and overload the other person with information that supports my point of view which can be interpreted as being confrontational; it also inhibits the ability to listen. My action step is breathe, calm down, shut up and force myself to listen.

]]> 2020-12-03 21:27:09 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/985777806 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/985813329 When I get defensive I start to add data and facts to back up my position. I can take an action step to ask myself the question what is really bothering me about the situation and what is the real issue at hand. 

]]> 2020-12-03 21:40:28 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/985813329 When I get defensive I will go right to blaming others and talking too much. My action step is to check myself, take a deep breath, and listen all the way through someone else's idea / comment without rash judgment. https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/986193941 2020-12-04 00:48:12 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/986193941 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/986197313 2020-12-04 00:49:40 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/986197313 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/986368392 At the moment I'm feeling defensive, I tighten up, my heart beats rapidly and I can feel my face getting flush. My action step is going to pause and take a deep breath.

]]> 2020-12-04 02:06:37 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/986368392 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/986486619 My defensiveness action plan would be to breath or to remove myself from the situation. When I get caught up in the moment, I like to speak my truth, but at times I don't think I realize how my actions can have a negative impart on others. When I reflect and look back at my experiences, I oftentimes realize that I am make a big deal out of nothing. ]]> 2020-12-04 03:06:24 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/986486619 When I get defensive, I feel an elevated sense of adrenaline kick in and speak before I think. My action step is to take a deep breath, pause, and consider the situation I am reacting to rather than react out of spite. https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/987866302 2020-12-04 15:24:03 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/987866302 When I get defensive...I have to tell my self to breathe and stop to listen to others. https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/987933664 2020-12-04 15:39:14 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/987933664 signs of defensive mode: https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988076045 Tightening of neck and jaw, stopping conversation and restricted breathing.
Try to counter w "yoga breathing" to help relax tension in body. 
Sometimes, I rush to "respond" when feeling attacked. Trying to practice "taking a moment". Saw a technique where you count "5,4,3,2,1" before responding to whatever is stressing. (attribute to Mel Robbins). Not good at it yet but at least more aware.]]> 2020-12-04 16:11:07 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988076045 When I get defensive, I will wait. If I have to respond on the spot, I will assess my thoughts and purposefully respond. If I have time to respond, I will wait several hours to allow my emotions to settle and then I can respond in a more rational manner. https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988084102 2020-12-04 16:12:50 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988084102 PEWS https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988195607 When my Personal Early Warning System tells me I'm starting to get defensive-i.e., I notice myself using any of my top three defensive behaviors listed below:
  1. Rigidity
  2. Sudden drop in IQ
  3. Withdrawal into deadly silence
 
I will take the following actions:
  1. I will slow myself down by breathing deeply and bringing my energy from my head down through my belly and into the ground beneath me, grounding me. I can ask "could you please repeat what you said so I can better understand?"
  2. I will remind myself that I have a lot of good information to share my boss, friends, coworkers, etc. want to hear what I have to say.
]]> 2020-12-04 16:36:40 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988195607 My Defensive (not driving) https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988206601 I become rigid, my breathing slows, my mind races, and I feel it in my throat.  
To offset these signs that I am totally aware of... I will:
1. take a deep belly breath
2. intentionally relax the muscles in my neck and shoulders
3.  remove emotion that I am ascribing to the message and look for the seeds of intent/truth.

]]> 2020-12-04 16:38:49 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988206601 Carmen C. https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988216250 When I get defensive I do 1 of 2 things
1) Rattle of my credentials in some form OR
2) Withdrawal into deadly silence

My actions
1) When I feel the need to rattle of my credentials, I will stop and breathe and give myself a moment to think that I am engaging in defensive behavior. I will not respond immediately.

2) When I want to withdraw, I will find a way to stay engaged and ask probing questions

]]> 2020-12-04 16:40:51 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988216250 I will take a deep breath! My cheeks get hot and I speak without thinking, so a deep breath should give me a second to recognize what is going on, cool down, and give some thought to what I will say next. https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988221208 2020-12-04 16:41:56 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988221208 Laura https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988264361 Withdraw and become silent and overcome with emotion.

I. when I feel this way I take a breath and remember to keep listening. Learning comes from every experience.

]]> 2020-12-04 16:51:06 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988264361 When I get defensive, I will take a deep breath and try to remove emotion and intently listen to the other viewpoint. https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988313533 2020-12-04 17:02:10 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988313533 Anne https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988344054 My actions will be to recognize when I'm armoring up and getting ready to "lash back" with info, breathe and ask myself: what's the most generous assumption I can make here?]]> 2020-12-04 17:08:34 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988344054 https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988421672 My action step will to be to ask clarifying questions!]]> 2020-12-04 17:25:07 UTC https://padlet.com/michellicastaneda/d3cnirt6u5jot3ch/wish/988421672