Firstly I want to echo my classmates' points about the effectiveness of the pacing in the play. The quick pace was associated with playful dialogue which created moments of successful comedic timing, for example. However, the pace of the characters' interactions slowed down notably during moments of distress or tension. Through this, the tension was even more visceral and memorable. Additionally, with my little devising company we noticed that all the key moments involved an outburst of emotion (almost exclusively a fight) followed by a departure. Aka, the structure of the important moments went: trigger, explosion, departure of child. Therefore, throughout the play, everything felt more emotionally charged ("bigger" emotionally), yet the family got smaller.

The largest thing I am taking away (and what made it so relatable) is it felt like an intentional demonstration of the deep dysfunction in the "typical, white, American family model". Chi noted in class that this story is as old as time. I couldn't agree more, but I would argue that most white people don't conceptualize their family structures as incredibly dysfunctional UNTIL they are presented with art like this. Sometimes it takes art that feels redundant to many, to open people's eyes and help break generational curses like "settling" or sacrificing dreams to fit into a rigid family model (where everyone feels trapped).

Things I would change:

1. I wish there had been more exploration with the artful, creative transitions. I was hoping to see more abstract movement (in dialogue, for example) that we saw in the monologues from time to time.

2. I think it would have been even more powerful (and made a deeper point about the dysfunctional structure) if the mom hadn't died. That way, they would have all had to stay trapped and paralyzed in their family. THIS to me (from a storytelling perspective) is even MORE devastating.

The process itself makes a lot of logical sense: beginning with a single inspiration or set of initial ideas, that then blossoms into a collaborative process. In reading about the "linear" process itself (though I doubt it functions linearly), the clear intention to create collaboratively, stood out to me. That is what felt like the "point" of devising from their perspective (in this mission statement kind of format): to create something collective WITHIN community. For example, each decision is "consensus" based and it is clear that democracy in the group is a focus. It also seems like they try and gather as much material as possible and then narrow down to create something more focused. I admire this, as it feels more empowering to eliminate material/s as the process evolves rather than scramble for more.

Lastly, I appreciate their acknowledgement of how the theatre company itself doesn't necessarily represent the community in which it operates. It seems as though they are putting effort into this discussion of inclusivity. I wonder how that will manifest in their outreach and other work.

last LAST point: I would love to investigate the idea of "creative negotiation" more.

1. "racial tenderness..." (2)

2. "need for artists and educators to foster sites of public dissent and oppositional art is fueled by to-or-die urgency" (2)

3. "to emphasize the body as a site of knowing resists the Western idea that the mind is supreme" (3)

4. "awaken and honor the body's intelligence" (3)

5. Sarah Jane Bailes quote: "The body is a way of thinking, and intellectual work can also be a creative practice".

I learned a lot from this reading including the origins of La Pocha Nostra, the intentionality behind their work, the idea of "radical performance" from the perspective of a person of color, and the power of the "body's intelligence". So much of this reading stood out to me, notably the quotes listed above, but I would like to comment mostly on the idea of how radicalism can also manifest in radicalism in our own bodies. This idea of breaking boundaries and moving beyond borders exists in a political sense and in the messaging/mission of this group, but also in one's own body. Also the idea that art, creativity, and movement requires intelligence is so overlooked in academia, and it was refreshing and validating to read about the intelligence that creativity requires.

--making sweet tea = initially a BOOK

--this literal representation goes RIGHT into a series of comments on what "spilling tea" or "sharing tea" is

--rail road tracks dividing the community racially (south vs. north)

--"we didnt feel poor" , "rich in so many other ways"

-- directors and people apart of the process do NOT seem passionate like Johnson is...

--charles: "who would want to write about me and my story...who cares" --> "you loose yourself in accommodating to others"

--charles --> deeply committed to god's "perspective" on homosexuality

--rules were initially broken around gender before sexuality (embodying femininity before expressing "gayness")

--"i didn't come out, I was pulled out"

--shean --> mother NEVER changed the way he was treated (she embraced his life deeply)

--the surprising role of religion (countess, charles, E. Johnson, etc.)

--ritualistic --> united by the routine of SWEET sweet tea (lots of sugar)

--note: opens up the discussion about impressionism?

--johnson = first black man to get a PhD in hickory ("being black and gay motivated my overachievement" --> "when my time came for me to come out as gay, it wouldn't be as disappointing"

--therapists have to ensure you are "mentally sound" before receiving the diagnosis of "transsexual" --> Charles' gender transition was prompted by thinking that you had to be a woman to love men?

--"black respectability" --> fear of recieving disappointment/disgrace (especially with E. J.'s time in/with the church

--role of intersectionality --> violence against those interviewed (blackness layered with gayness and religiosity)

--"same religion that supports and encourages you is the same religion that damns you to hell"

--the importance of gardening ("you know all the rules and then disregard them") --Freddie

--countess is 97 THERES NO WAY

--freddie: "im not a victim anymore, im triumphant"

--the POWER of having your told --> maybe it is even more powerful BY someone other than yourself because you feel like and agent and seen (this idea of "ownership" becomes irrelevant")

--the book of sweet tea was needed --> urgency to fill in the history and create an archive of experience

--"how did you get these men to open up about their stories" --> "i asked"

--the intentional proliferation of this work and art by Johnson (very meta...stories within stories within stories to create this comprehensive archive)

--collective knowledge around making this tea --> the second time it is made in the documentary, it is accompanied by music like a performance

--powerful framework of the film: storytelling about storytelling (inviting the interviewees in to watch THEIR stories told by E.J for the intention of showing them to a greater audience)

--I wonder what is inspiring these high school kids to continue

--theatre and dance are so similar

--what is THIS choreographer's intention

--the misconception that to SAY SOMETHING with dance or movement, you NEED dramatization

--the exercise of asking teenagers to perform intimacy

--performing love before even knowing what it really is

--in terms of the whole piece itself, it was hard to identify the story of the DANCE...however, that may not be the point at all.

--dance has always felt like an exclusive art, so it it is empowering to watch "non-dancers" be dancers and DO dance

--makes me thinks of hierarchies that form in dance/choreography spaces (the main blonde character was the favorite [of jo])

--when is it appropriate to set a piece on another demographic or company (question im dealing with right now)? --> is this a FORMATIVE experience for these kids (learning about intimacy in this setting, is that healthy??)

*interesting choice by the director to show the previous piece as an "example"! rare in my opinion!

--The story of how my grandparents met needs to be told! I think that the idea of telling a story in my family to pass on tradition is powerful!

--I also like the idea of taking a non-fictional structure and embellishing it

--tactile

--core distal

--head-tail

--body side

--cross lateral

--vestibular

--7 things? 7 has also always been my favorite number

--using the brain dance as a framework to discuss deeper issues and things within me and those I interview

example framework: start with brain dance in silence on its own, then restart again with breath. Breath becomes its own section. Maybe its a spliced interview with someone that "helped me understand the role of breath" while dancing to those words WITH captions of choreographic (laban notes). Incorporating movement, monologue, captions (Brechtian). Repeat this or adjust it for the other 6 elements. For example, if i am reflecting on "tactile" maybe interview my mother and relationship to touch (because it shaped mine).

--interview 7 strangers (for each of the elements of the brain dance), and creating a language of sorts

--through line? maybe all the people I interview are people that I love and feel close to --> bringing them into a connected, purposeful story

--should I be at the core of all of it? Or should this be a vehicle and avenue to tell the stories of others...

--idea: i am exploring not myself explicitly, but the people around me that have either grounded me in that element or made more space for it to flourish (or maybe conflicted that element for me) --> there needs to be a central conflict (using the brain dance as a way to understand myself, also through the contributions of others in my life).

dad's comments: you only need to show a through-line or a branch, not the whole tree (doing too much, simplicity and messaging gets lost).

--The story of how my grandparents met needs to be told! I think that the idea of telling a story in my family to pass on tradition is powerful!

--I also like the idea of taking a non-fictional structure and embellishing it

images / projection surfaces or screens / fiction or non-fiction sources might be in this world?

objects:

--projector or screen to project my choregraphic notes

--maybe a simple table with paper (may have some sections/scenes where I am lip/syncing interviews from loved ones about the Brain Dance elements)

Music:

--none (I don't think)

--all the audio would be spoken and if there is music, it would be part of the audio recording

sounds:

--audio recording of interviews collected regarding the different brain dance elements

people:

--likely just me at the present moment...I am excited to continue thinking about the prospect of having my classmates perform alongside me!

text:

--the audio itself will act as a script for my choreography (framework, rather)

--the choreographic notes displayed like captions on the screen (where the projector comes in)

stories:

--the audio will likely incorporate stories from the interviewees' lives (though that is not the most direct or primary intention of interview conduction)

--my current idea is to tell my story of growth, change, struggle, border/boundary crossing THROUGH the brain dance elements

media:

--dance

--interview transcript (audio form)

--choreographic notes (visual and performance media)

fiction/non-fiction:

--I am thinking of doing all non-fiction, though the movement itself may create a "fiction-like" quality...I want to keep exploring this...

--the entire performance that includes music/sound is part of the sound experience (intentional or incidental) --> doesnt just start when the cellist begins to play the instrument (ex. heals walking on stage)

--sound is much more than "hearing" it is about absorbing "movement" and vibration throughout the whole body

--vibrations set the ear in MOTION (sound is movement, again) --> mindblowing

--this connects dance to music even more closely!

--the relationship between hearing (movement), language (movement) and physical manifestation of both (movement)

--> maybe it is all different side of the same coin!!

1. sound engineering/sound design can feel "artful" in nature and not necessarily technological

2. EVERYTHING can be sound!

3. There is a way to make radio sounds clearer! It was so interesting to watch John transform Miranda's recording into one that included MUCH less background noise and "fuzzy" sound.

4. The sound designer ISNT in the booth in the back the whole time...they assign roles to a sound operator and their "sound sequences" are recorded

5. Layering is possible and easy within one track!

6. John creates a linear structure -- each "item" is coded and presented sequentially.

7. A sound designer will read through a script and interpret (maybe alongside a director) where beats occur -- which could inform sound changes

8. John introduced the idea of reverb as a transition tool! As a way to go from one sound or sequence of sounds to another, he upped the reverb so that it sounded like the sound DIFFUSES away (rather than terminates)

9. Musicals (with multiple microphones) seem much more intuitive than i thought! Each microphone has its own column with different commands...I am excited for Nina's musical

10. ...how sound designers have a conglomerate or "sound pallet" of material that they can carry with them between shows and projects --> sort of like a vocabulary of its own

11. The sound design begins with the "pre-show" sound --> reminded me that sound and sound design is even present in the ambience created before a show starts! SO COOL!

1. Where do you see breath exist in our world, outside of our bodies?

2. How often do you pay attention to your breathing?

3. Has breath every been a source of anxiety for you?

4. when your breath becomes out of control, what do you do to regulate it? regulate yourself?

5. What is the first word that comes to mind when i say "breath"?

6. What is the first word that comes to mind when I say breathe?

7. How would you describe breath to an alien?

8. Do you have a relationship with breath? What does it mean to you?

9. What is your relationship with breath in a dance context?

Tactile (THEO):

1. How does tactile appear in your daily life?

2. How important is touch to you?

3. What kinds of touch have you experienced from different people in your life?

4. What purposes do touch serve?

5. Have there been times in which your relationship to physical touch has been more negative or positive than it is now?

6. How do you give yourself physical care?

7. Do you prefer to receive or give physical touch?

8. What is your relationship to your body in a physical sense? Does touch inform that for you?

9. How do you see physical touch continue to reappear throughout your life?

10. When is physical touch least and most necessary for emotional regulation? Is it ever necessary?

Core-distal: REVISE ORDER

1. Are you an extrovert, introvert, or ambivert?

2. Do you think you are perceived similar to how you perceive yourself?

3. Are there parts of your core that your closest friends are not aware of? Is that the way you like it?

4. Do you feel connection between your core self and the way you externally express yourself? Are there misalignments?

5. Where is the healthiest balance for you between your core self and your expressive, external, socially perceived self?

6. What is more overpowering: your core, or your distal?

7. How has the answer to number 6 changed over time?

8. Do you predict that your core will solidify or disintegrate with age and deeper self knowledge?

9. Is it possible to have a secure and stable self concept without knowing your what your core self needs?

10. Is there such thing as a core self? Is it impossible to detach self from core self?

Tactile: Theo

Head-tail: Alban (spine, connection between head and pelvis)

Core-Distal: Emily (inside yourself, outside yourself)

Upper-Lower: Alban? (loss of leg function...)

Body-Side: Ava...a soccer player? someone with a much stronger "one side" than the other?

Cross-Lateral: Mom (pulled in multiple directions --> role of mother and professional, sister and friend, etc.)

Vestibular: Nola + Maud (how do you ground yourself)

--SO AWESOME

--we veered off track a bit, excited to edit this down

--learned a lot about my bestie (talked about the differences between core self/self-concept and distal self/externally perceived/social things)

--functioned more like a conversation than interview

--will cut out me asking questions...

Maud -- Vestibular

--my questions were rather improvised, all about groudning yourself when live is spinning. even moreso than nola, it fucntioned like a conversation. they had insight about themselves I had never been privy to!

Theo -- tactile

--silly and goofy, but all the answers check out.

--the interview was much more interview STYLE than the others thus far

--many of the answers were frankly expected, considering he is my partner and we have had a lot of conversations about this:)

Mac -- breath

--i love her so much! she is so eloquent and mature! proud sister moment

--very intentional interview, most pointed of the questions so far

--connected breath to movement to nature

--excited about this as source material

--she had clear, thoughtful answers (it is clear she didn't have to think much about what breath means to her).

Mom -- Body-side

--learned a lot of things about my mother's decisiveness

--she has paved the way for me: empowering me as a young woman (though our relationship may be complicated)

--this interview highlighted her pragmatic approach to life and her disinterest in labels

Dad -- Head-tail

--my dad has a very complicated relationship to his spine, hence why I picked him for this interview (2 lower back surgeries, and shattered both discs on two separate occasions)

--he is also deeply loyal and has a very strong sense of self/character so i was interested to interrogate his emotional "spine"

--he gave me more insight into how private of a person he is, and how that has been foundational to the creation and building of his so called "spine"

Zach -- cross-lateral

--this interview was awesome! i learned a lot about my host brother, and i felt like it was incredibly relevant (considering how our relationship originated)

--he had a lot of insightful remarks about the differences between boundaries and borders, and I am looking foward to editing it

Ava -- upper-lower

--in this interview i focused on the ideas of paralysis and survival responses (flight, fight, freeze)

--she brought in humor, and I am actually eager to just use this interview in longer/larger parts (less spliced)

--spoke a lot about masking and regulation (takeaway: it is more painful to mask then to feel)

1. How does it feel to be regarded by me as a decisive person?

2. Do you consider yourself decisive?

3. How do you feel about multiple truths at the same time?

4. Do you feel like you are constantly managing 2 things at the same time?

5. Do you often have internal wars about right vs. wrong

6. do you believe there is a right vs. wrong?

7. Can rights and wrongs exist in harmony?

8. Do you feel like you have to work harder in some aspects of your life than others?

9. Are there any parts of your personality that are at war with one another?

10. What does internal frustration look like to you?

11. Is it possible to be grounded in one area of your life and distal, adventurous and social in other parts of your life?

12. is home a physical or emotional...

1. Do you ever feel paralyzed?

2. When do you feel paralyzed?

3. What brings you out of a state of paralysis?

4. For survival mode: are you more inclined to fight, fly, or freeze?

5. Do you ever feel like a part of your is stuck, while another part is flourishing or do you feel like when you're stuck, everything is stuck?

6. Do you ever mask how you are feeling?

7. How does it feel to mask how your feelings?

8. Do your moods change throughout the day, or do you often feel grounded in a single state?

9. explain the idea of upper-lower...where do you see things both grounded and free?

10. Can groundedness and freedom exist together?

1. what is the last emotional or physical border you crossed?

2. What is the principal difference between crossing borders and crossing boundaries (in the emotional and metaphorical line of thinking)?

3. Have your boundaries every been crossed and how does that feel?

4. What does challenging yourself mean to you? Does it often involve crossing a personal boundary?

5. What is the principal difference between pushing boundaries and crossing boundaries?

6. Are you decisive?

7. Is being decisive something that is important to you?

8. Cross-lateral (say the word). Without knowing what this means, tell me what you THINK it means

9. (tell her what it means)...how would you then descirbe it to an alien?

--did not function like an interview (see notes)

--conversation regarding spinning, grounding oneself, and calibrating/regulating

--Maud --> how she grounds herself (I have admired this in her and wanted to interview them because of it)

Tactile: Theo

Head-tail: Alban

Core-distal: Nola

Upper-Lower: Ava

Body-Side: Julie

Cross-Lateral: Zach

Vestibular: Maud

--interview for cross-lateral

--listen to the audio and write down key words, free draw, anything

--through line?

--editing shift to more speech?

--Liz Lerman, pose different ideas and explain them...

--assign each student to an element (for some elements there will be more than one student) DONE

--develop a movement vocabulary for the improved exploration DONE

--come up with some motifs that can repeat throughout the piece (not entirely improvised --> structured improv) DONE

--scissors

--tape

--paper on stage

1. when it if your element approach the paper

2. draw, write, delete, add

3. scissors

4. pass pen

5. leave the audience when your element ends

Assignments:

1. breath -- chi

2. tactile -- eliza

3. core-distal -- nina

4. head-tail -- Song + tim

5. upper-lower -- Gyury

6. body side -- joyce

7. cross-lateral -- leo + Aude

8. vestibular -- sukey

--I have been slightly burnt out on dance and dancing, and this relit a fire in me that felt SUPER good and rewarding

--I felt completely in the present moment, and I believe that structuring this like a "structured improv" helped me stay actively engaged with the movement and associated words

--I was so appreciative of my class' participation--> everyone really showed up for this project and approached it with sincerity

--LOVED the element of drawing and it was super fun to explore the balance between drawing and dancing (personally)

--I thoroughly enjoyed dancing on paper! It gave me so much life and makes me wanna do something similar for my thesis

--ALSO loved the light fixture (got super inspired from Aude's performance and I think it added a really cool, simplistic touch) --> made it moodier

--acts as a super great reference point for future work

--wish the music was louder!

--has been so fun to engage with and witness others' projects

--what a way to culminate! I feel proud of myself:)