The children have adverse negative affects when a women get trapped in violent relationships. The infant, toddler, preschooler and school-age child may have many problems in their following developmental domains;

The worst scenario would be, children will take all the information inside, they will learn everything and one day they may do the same as experienced every day at home. Based on past experiences, they will use those bad things to other people and cause disturbances in the society.

·         Love 

·        Dependence of living costs

·        Parenting

·        Religious reasons

·        Fear of breaking relationship

·        Used to live in the violent environment

In many cases, the abuser threatens the victim by saying that he or she will kill her or assault her children if the woman reports or tells someone about the assaults. Children may be directly or indirectly affected by domestic violence. Even though they are not physically assaulted, children who witness domestic violence experience enormous emotional trauma. These children may feel helpless because they can not help their mother, for example, who sees her being constantly assaulted and threatened.

Such aggressions long before they become physical may have begun verbally causing emotional damage to the victim almost irreparable. The victim is cursed and listens all the time that is worthless, having her physical appearance mocked and her intellectual abilities overlooked. The victim begins to feel useless, undeserved, ugly, unattainable, and start to believe that even with everything that is happening it is better to stay as it is because they will not be able to find another person who wants her.

Apart from this, in many cases the victim does not have support from the family, the lack of financial resources especially if the victim has children becomes a reason to stay in the relationship, several elements come together and create a wall of isolation that the victim herself builds and does not can break without help.

Another reason we should take into consideration are the culture and religion factors that in some cases the divorce is not well seen or even not accepted.

-          Financial dependence: A lot of women decide to stay with their abusive husband because they are financially dependent on their partners. They are unable to make money and support themselves and the child’s living if they separate from their husbands/partners

-          Culture/Beliefs: Even until now, many cultures value men above women. They would believe that when women go through a divorce, it is the women’s faults and she is “a waste” because her husband throw her away. Hence, a lot of women are afraid of that ideas of being seen as “trash” or “useless”. They do not want to be a shame to their families. Moreover, due to their beliefs, many women think that it is completely normal for a man to be abusive because he is the dominant of the household. Therefore, they accept to be physically and mentally abused by their partners

-          Lack of supports: Unfortunately, several women do not receive any support from their family, friends or the society. They are not supported physically, socially, emotionally and financially. What even worse is that they are shamed by their surrounding for leaving their marriage. Often, these women would stay trapped in their abusive relationship.

-          Children: Usually, the mother instinct inside the women urges them to stay with the violent marriage because of their children. They want their children to have both father and mother and receive the best from them. They worry that once they divorce, children’s emotions will be affected.

-          Being threatened: Many women are afraid of leaving because their safety as well as their family’s safety is threatened. Also, some women do not have the custody of the child/children due to the lack of power. The husbands might also use children as the reason to manipulate those women. The men might prohibit the women from seeing their children. Hence, women are forced to stay in the violent relationship

 

-          Physical: Children at a younger age will most likely intake those violent behaviour once they witness it and portray it at school, which makes their physical behaviour more aggressive. On the other hand, another possibility is that children might get physically harmed when they try to stop their dad from hitting their mom. 

-          Emotional: Children might become introvert when they witness their parents’ violence. They might feel depressed, confused and become more aggressive in behaviours. Their self-confidence and self-esteem might also be lower.

-          Social: When children’s emotion is influenced and they might become introverted, they might be afraid to make friends and communicate with their peers. Also, since their behaviours might be more aggressive, it is harder for them to make friends outside the house. This is a disadvantage for them because they cannot develop their pro-social skills.

-          Intellectual: Children who suffer or witness domestic violence might have their brain affected. At the same time, because they are emotionally unstable, it is hard for them to focus and process information in class, which can affect their academic performance. 



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There are many reasons why women stay in an abusive relationship. The most common reasons are children and society. First of all as a mother she can give up her personal happiness. Due to society’s pressure, many women choose to stay in abusive relationships. Some women may choose to stay with their abusive partners due to emotions, love, and affection which they have developed about their partner and the relationship; they think that partner would change into a better person.

The children have negative affects when a woman get trapped in violent relationships. The infant, toddler, preschooler and school-age child may have many problems in their developmental domains. They become anxious, fearful, powerless, and insecure at home environment as well as in society.

I believe when infants and toddlers are effected by domestic violence, they may experience fear and sadness often at a very young age. The infant and toddler may not know much about what is going on, but they do see, hear, and feel the presence of domestic violence. It may affect them in a way that can cause harm to them mentally, physically and emotionally that can also be atypical. The environment matters to the infant and toddler because of the tone of voice, the force, and the behavior that the individuals in the household are displaying. Since they are at a very young age they are very vulnerable to get hurt physically through the attitudes and behaviors the adults are displaying. 

I believe preschoolers would be affected very much through the environment and the actions that the adults are doing. Young children are capable of learning from others and their peers, so by this they would see the behavior and may do the same at school or to their friends. These children may also be influenced to hit or harm their peers in any way and also say things that may be harsh from what they learned at home. The emotional effects would impact them by being upset most of the times, through frustrations, and anger. Socially, these children are affected by being afraid to talk to others, or may seem aggressive to others. Low – self-esteem at an early age may come as well since they may be afraid to say something if it will cause harm to them. Cognitively, these children may think that hitting and saying hurtful phrases may be okay for them since their parents are doing it at home. 

The school age child may be affected through many ways in the many different developmental areas. These children may have seen domestic violence at the home and may not know what is right or wrong. It can affect them socially through fear and shyness towards their peers. Emotionally, these children may experience temper tantrums through shouting and hitting themselves maybe. Physically, these children may have been a part of the violence, at home. These children may also be affected by being mean and rude to other children since they experience this at home. Calling names or bullying others may occur as well socially and emotionally. Sadness may happen as well for the child because domestic violence may not always stop in the household, and it is never easy for them to experience or witness at home. 

She might feel she isn’t good enough for someone who treats her kindly, with love and respect. Or she might be brainwashed by her partner to believe she can’t cope without him.Some women feel the familiarity of abuse is better than the unknowns of life outside of the relationship. Things might be worse than they are with the abuser.
An abusive partner can go to great extremes to control and isolate his victim. He might take her cellphone or car keys to keep her isolated at home. He might cut her off financially or keep her on a very tight budget. Some abusers have prevented friends and family from contacting their partners or have even physically prevented a woman from leaving the house. They use fear and intimidation to prevent their partner from taking any action that might lead to exposure of the abuse or the end of the relationship. In some cultures. women stay because in an abusive relationship because they or the victims parents don't want to be ashamed or mocked at in front of society only because its an entertainment for the society to sit and watch. 

All children are affected by domestic violence in many ways like physically, emotionally, socially and cognitively. They can be physically affected by this because they may try to stop it and in the process get hurt. Socially and cognitively they see the way that their parents interact with each other allowing for them to think that it is normal to treat people this way. If they see this on a daily basis throughout their lives it becomes a model of what and how they should interact and treat each others. Emotionally they can blame themselves for what is happening, have trust issues in the further, and even suppress their emotions were express it in an aggressive way.

The children’s holistic development would be affected from seeing violence within the home: 

Infant/Toddler

Preschooler

School-Age

Regardless of the age of the child, abusive and violent relationships affect a child’s development holistically.

 
Children who experience domestic violence usually blame themselves, as they believe they are the cause for the fight. 

 

Infant

 

The mother is the most important person in her baby’s life.  And her baby needs the warmth of her touch, holding, and cuddling.  When the baby senses what’s going on they pick up on the mother’s fair and tension. Just as she is sensitive to how her baby feels, her baby is sensitive to her. The infant might not eat or sleep on schedule, and may have stomachaches due to this tension.  If the mother is constantly preoccupied, upset and unavailable, her baby will learn that she can’t count on her to be there to meet her needs.  And, if she can’t trust her mother, she will then have trouble trusting others.  

 

Toddler

 

A normally active toddler may become hyperactive, constantly testing us even to the point of enacting the violence by withdrawing, or shying fearfully away from people and acting like little victims. They are just learning to communicate with language and domestic violence in the home can affect their speech. Some of them have fears about going to sleep and have nightmares and tantrums. They may attach themselves to their mothers and other adults in ways that are not healthy.  Some become overly clingy to their mothers and appear frightened of all other people.

 

Preschooler/School Age Children

 

Children at this age are more logical so they are actually capable of feeling that they are responsible for the violence in their family.  They need and want to have explanations for what is happening in their world.  It is hard for them to understand that bad and dangerous things happen for no apparent reason. This is a part of their normal self-centeredness.  To deal with this overwhelming burden of responsibility, a little child may feel like a bad person and withdraw, or become very aggressive. Little boys who want to be like their fathers may have learned that it is all right to hurt other people when they are angry.  They may bite, kick, hit or throw things, while little girls who copy their mothers may feel that being hurt is part of a loving relationship.  

 

 

·         loud noises associated with violence can be distressing 

·          Sleeplessness

·         imitation in play may be related to witnessed aggression

·         learn about aggression in observed interactions

·         Nightmares

·         Increased aggression

·         Generalized anxiety 

 

The impacts of domestic violence on children:

·         Injuries

·         lower health status

·         more health conditions and problems

·         behavior difficulties

·         mental health

·         excessive irritability

·         sleep disturbances

·         emotional distress

·         low self-esteem

·         low self-regulation

Cognitive: delay in normal brain development 

 

Physical: at the risk of abusing themselves

·         limited social skills

·         exhibit violent

·         sleep problem 

Cognitive: have difficulty in learning, delay in the development of their brains and cognitive growth  

Physical: at the risk of abusing themselves,

·         limited social skills

·         exhibit violent

·         risky behavior such as bully others and threaten peers

·         suffer depression and severe anxiety

·         low self-esteem

·         at the risk of abusing themselves

·         lose the ability to feel empathy for others

·         social isolated

·         poor relationship with peers

·         low self-regulation

·         have trouble with their school work

·         poor concentration and focus

·         lower reading abilities

 experience is uniquely their own. Below are some of the 

contributing factors that prevent her from leaving. The list is not complete. There are many obstacles to leaving. 

One of the hallmarks of an abusive relationship is the way an abuser isolates and controls a victim, and the way the victim herself may be in denial. The trauma she experiences becomes her “normal”. Oftentimes the risks are too great to leave when your self-worth and power have been decimated. Domestic is as much and more psychological 

abuse as it is physical abuse.

Sanjida Yeasmin