I showed a little bit of personal growth by sharing my views on abortion and why I have the beliefs that I do.

I need to work on showing more vulnerability and personal growth by describing an experience that connects with abortion. I need to add more detail to give the reader a better idea of who I am.

I believe that I showed personal growth through explaining how I previously dismissed the idea of being an elementary teacher but then changed/ discovered that was the career I actually wanted to pursue.

I need to work on expressing vulnerability to show the reader how my emotions were involved in the decision (I didn't just randomly change my mind one day).

In my essay, I demonstrated personal growth through my experience as a junior president of an organization. I wrote about the problems that arose after some decisions I made, and how I built communication and collaboration skills in order to resolve them.

I received feedback on the way my essay progressed. I started off showing instead of telling very well, but I started to "tell" way more towards the end of my essay. To improve, I will make more of my essay a dialogue and specific story-based essay that implies growth, instead of telling a story and stating how I grew from it.

I show growth in family, adventure, and flexibility. I revealed this by showing the life lessons camping has taught me, describing how trips have deepened my connections with family and friends, and connecting my past memories to the person I am today.

I need to work on showing more depth and allowing for connection. I plan to do this my including more sensory details and a specific memory from my childhood.

I demonstrated how I used to lack any empathy for others or care about what impacted them. Through other people showing me compassion, it changed my heart and encouraged me to take a stand and defend the voiceless.

I needed to rearrange and make the lists more clear and less wordy and repetitive. I also reorganized one paragraph to come before another instead of after so it made a bit more sense.

I showed my growing appreciation for my dad as he raised me. From beginning to end I show how my love for my dad went beyond him just providing for me, it was a love for the many sacrifices he made.

I need to do some cutting and adding to change how my story is focused a little to much on me when it is about my dad and what he has done.

I showed growth through the story by figuring out what I wanted to be, and why I wanted to do that.

I need to work on my writing craft. Just clear up the rough spots in it and make sure everything is grammatically correct. I also need to rephrase some spots to show better clarity and use better vocabulary.

I showed personal growth by describing how a specific experience sparked my interest in becoming a dietitian.

I need to work on my vocabulary and writing craft. I plan on doing this by fixing the grammatical errors in my essay.

I showed some personal growth in how I began to appreciate the simplicity of nature and life

I need to work on the ending more, it's a little abrupt and maybe add more sensory detail and specific stories

I wrote about my favorite teacher mentoring me and helping me grow. I think I showed personal growth in being independent and changing to a more positive mindset.

I need to work on my sentence structures and adding more details. I will fix this by explaining more than showing how Mr. Moore helped me.

I showed growth in my relationship with my teacher using different types of interactions we had. I showed how she shaped me and taught me.

Personal Growth: I mostly got feedback on my final paragraph, because it ended too quickly. I plan to take out unnecessary details from earlier paragraphs to make room for more elaboration on my final paragraph. Vocab: I got feedback on using a little more creativity. I plan to change up some sentence patterns and take out vague words to create a better mental image.

Through this narrative, I showed personal growth in finding out what I wanted to do with my life. I was vulnerable in recognizing my desire to solve problems and grew in finding out what I wanted to do.

I need to work on varying sentence styles and not starting all of my sentences with "I." There were also specific grammatical and punctuation errors I can fix

I showed personal growth by showing my development from being a bad kid to very lukewarm behavior where I didn't do anything bad or anything good, to genuinely caring about people and their well being

I need to elaborate certain parts of my essay to develop the story more, and I need to switch up some sentence structure.

I showed personal growth by sharing how I finally realized how important the impact that a few people had on me. And how their impact played a major role in my life.

I need to have better punctuation. I will do this by going back through my essay, revising it, and taking the comments from the revisers.

In this essay I showed how hard and not fun (for lack of a better word) life can be. I contrasted the reality displayed in film verses the normal person's actual reality by using my love for movies to convey this. I talked about how once we realize this poorly displayed reality in film we can use that to change our mindsets about our reality.

I want to work on my writing craft and so what moment by finding more descriptive words to use and also crafting sentences more intentionally.

I showed a little personal development through my love and passion for volleyball. I think I let the reader into my mind by expressing my love for the details and mechanics of the sport.

I think I struggled with using a variety of sentence structures and I need to show not tell about my personal development through volleyball.

I showed my growth in my relationship with my grandpa and how he taught me how to be an effective leader along with being a man.

I need to add more specific examples of how Grandpa taught me along with examples of how I was able to apply it into my life.

I showed growth in how I went from thinking that traveling was just good memories to realizing that there are bad memories too. I do this by describing memories in different countries, and showing how in each one, I don't only remember good but the bad too, and how the bad taught me lessons. Also in the memories I show how traveling helped me appreciate the diversity in the world more.

I need to work on clarifying the "So What" and "personal growth" parts of the essay. I will do that by clarifying in the introduction the points I am trying to make, by adding to it, which will connect to the memories in the body paragraphs.

i showed personal growth by sharing how i have come to realize that my twin brother Matthew has been the most influential person in my life and how he has shaped the person i am today

the biggest thing I need to work on is showing not telling. i am going to add a few little stories that show the point i am trying to make

I showed personal growth with my mindset toward learning. By describing a time that I felt inadequate and discouraged, I was able to show personal growth with how I handled that. I believe that I can add more personal growth by expanding that situation.

I can work on my transitions between paragraphs. When I was trying to add a personal story, I found it difficult to get to it smoothly. I can do this by adding connecting ideas in both paragraphs.

I showed that the sickness I struggled/that defined me for a long time no longer has that power over me. I've learned that it doesn't identify me.

A little bit of wording-took revisions into account

-also rephrased the ending

I showed how what Christ humbly did for me on the cross has changed my life, and what that means in terms of the way I live.

I got feedback saying that in the beginning of my essay, I could've been more vulnerable.