I became overwhelmed by the horrors of the world. Wars genocide climate change … more.  My tummy anxious nauseous. Hate that feeling! My body hurt. I switched off the camera and moved around the room. Disconnected so I could connect. But people spoke in measured, kind ways, from their lived experiences. I became riveted to them. I wasn’t expecting that. I kept thinking they’d move into intense polarisations. I love the kindness and wisdoms. Suffering feels like a key; a key to hold many positions. A woman fleeing war with her beloveds… her stories. I was in. Then another telling us we can listen to the stories and thinking of the people who go into the war areas to help. 

I feel more settled, more like who I really am, expanded. Because of listening to the wise sensitive hardworking souls in our group, listening watching feeling absorbing.Very grateful. I feel softened..the group gently built into something very special. I’m getting more comfortable being uncomfortable. I’m so grateful to be in a global group that moves slowly and kindly together, who listen and care. 

LS

1.⁠ ⁠Is it a real conflict or hidden agenda from outside?

2.⁠ ⁠Natural disasters and how we react: doing nothing or trying to help?

3.⁠ ⁠How to connect to happiness in different stages of conflicts?

4.⁠ ⁠Is it too late to slow down the climate issue and the overconsumption? Is it too late to save us?

5.⁠ ⁠How can we be more like nature in all those aspects, so I can understand life?

6.⁠ ⁠Is it such a thing like truth? How do we find it? How do we understand the bigger truth?

7.⁠ ⁠Why is it difficult to call it genocide?

I can’t say, however,  the intractable conflict is happening far away in the ‘Land of Many Names’.  Violence broke out here in the streets of Amsterdam, following the recent Europa League match between Ajax Amsterdam and Maccabi Tel Aviv. A video showing the riots was misrepresented by many media outlets who wrote about a ‘hunt for Jews’ whilst showing footage of (some of them military trained) Maccabi hooligans rioting. Chanting of anti-Arab slogans could be heard alongside antisemitic outbursts. I am personally disturbed by the rise of antisemitism as well as the rise in racism and discrimination towards Muslims and Arabs in my country and worldwide. 

Who am I as a white person, witnessing genocide in Gaza?  A bystander who feels overwhelmed by the news, trying to avoid visuals of ruined places and wounded people?  As soon as I started to speak in the group process, I felt paralysed by shame regarding my inaction, being a privileged witness who has opinions and feelings but isn’t upset enough to join a protest. I might sign a petition….  This inaction and ‘wanting to stay out of trouble’ remind me of the vast number of Jewish people taken away from my city and other places in the Netherlands, not protected by their non-Jewish fellow citizens.  Eighty years ago, that is not in the far away past ….

In our silences and in our voices yesterday, there was a sense of ‘too much’ and hopelessness. I sensed in the silence and in the voices also a shared care for humanity, a deep commitment to keep seeing other’s humanity and dignity, regardless which side we are on.

The group process reminded me of fleeting moments when I caught fragments of thoughts of revenge and hatred that I didn’t think I would have. Having these dark thoughts doesn’t fit my self image, and yes, I want to be an honest witness of my inner processes as well as seeing the world out there with clear eyes.

I admit I am ignorant

I am tired and overwhelmed by VUCA world

I hate to be Judged

.

I am the observer

I protect my own inner peace

I only look after my broken pieces

I am aware of my physical limitations

.

I see peace inside

Also see War rise

Like a Tide of the one Ocean

Falling deep down to transform and rise again

.

I value life

I choose safety

I am at home

I take care of my roots

.

I am a Taurus; steady and stubborn, mother cow provides milk

I am a Farmer: ploughing the soil, planting the seeds

I am a gardener; humble and loyal

I rather be a soldier on the farm than a farmer in battlefield

Written By: Beatiful Peace of the Mind

War and Peace ongoing conflict for every era.

.

.

-The Quietness of “I don’t care. It’s not about me” though it has many layers. The ghost role of accepting the reality that is really harsh may be better to not say something much. My social ranking isn’t that high in the pyramid social structure anyway. Good not to care much about others and just stay silent.

.

.

-Hope VS Hopelessness. Why is life so miserable to be a middle class citizen in my country? In worse conditions I might be forced to join the war due to poverty.  In other conditions I am only a pawn to the invisible hand. Is there really free will or just following fate and astrological belief?

Is ignorance really a bliss? Or a Curse?

Is it ok to choose a simple, peaceful life while being overwhelmed by conversations about fire everywhere?

.

.

-I want to stay still and comfortable in my own groundedness before going out to engage in supporting other people. The earth and nature is always adapting when it is rooted and still breathing exchanging essential invisible gases to all life beings.

Chorus:

Whatever grows will grow,
Whatever dies will die
Whatever works will work
Whatever flies will fly,
Whatever fails will fail|
What’s meant to soar will soar,
I am planting seeds nothing more

War, genocide, natural disasters. Everything boils together now in my mind, kidnapped by the recent floods in Valencia.

Now, with you, I try to feel the pain of Gaza. There is so much happening there!

The mind is filled with questions. How small, how insignificant is the human being? How can we assume, live, in the pain that surrounds us?

Even so, with all this, we continue wanting to be among those who are right about this unreason. Not abandon or question our way of life...

The issue continues to float in the air, what is the truth? What can we learn from the lost lives? From the silenced voices? From those who continue to seek peace?

The seed of hope is so small! Sometimes I feel that I cannot bear any more pain and I am so tired. That is why the silence.

When I look at your faces, in them I can read the opening to the unsaid, to another way of looking at the world. That is why we are here, together, in pain and in hope.

The four large canvases of the Birkenau series are abstract paintings with many gray and black surfaces, but also some red and green dashes.

The basis of the paintings are four photos secretly taken in 1944 by Jewish prisoners at the Auschwitz-Birkenau extermination camp, who risked their lives doing so. Richter transferred the four photographs with charcoal and oil onto the canvas and then gradually painted over them with oil paint until their content was no longer visible.

Richter’s process of abstraction was based on his conviction that he could not do justice to the incomprehensible horror of the Holocaust with direct depiction.

Source: https://www.kget.com/entertainment-news/berlin-museum-presents-100-works-by-artist-gerhard-richter/

The stillness was so spacious as if it was giving extra space and time for different roles to emerge within ourselves. I was slowly generating awareness through noticing and processing some roles. And as a co-facilitator I was listening carefully into and also relying very much on the wisdom of our group and on loving and caring support of Stephie. It was not easy to hold the pot but we were all in it together creating a safe container for the inner experiences and it was giving me a bit of hope. 

I was amazed and so grateful for the power of the group because we were not bypassing but really slowly going into the hurt. And it was not easy for everyone since there were many conflicting emotions simultaneously. There was also an amount of ‘mixed feedbacks’ present where some strong not acknowledged feelings were involved. From a facilitation perspective, we have worked with welcoming and embracing some of them and also by naming the ghostroles…propaganda… war… genocide… Once we could name each of them and bring them into our group process, they were neither abstract words nor huge monsters against humanity any longer. 

Although we had dominant viewpoints that were emphasising the genocide in Gaza, personally it was a huge inner work on bringing awareness and not being entrenched on one side. However, at once it became very personal for me, I was confronted with the history of my own country, Ukraine, both past and present. Mass oppressions leading to a genocide during the man-made Famine, known in Ukrainian as Holodomor in the 1920s and 1930s under Soviet leader Joseph Stalin. Ukraine could not address this trauma openly for decades and only recently Holodomor has been recognised as a methodically planned out and perpetrated mass action on deprivation of food, in a region of the world known as the ‘breadbasket of Europe’ where millions of Ukrainians were starved to death. And now everyday I am witnessing numerous atrocities that Ukraine has to endure and which are intended as genocidal war since the Russia’s full scale invasion, with shelling residential buildings, killing civilians on a mass scale, destroying essential infrastructure, starving and torturing prisoners on the occupying territories and erasing the ukrainian culture. 

Suddenly a personal voice of a Ukrainian woman who left her country in order to survive and to bring her child to safety emerged in our group. When she spoke about her wanting peace, as well, she showed so much vulnerability and beauty. She managed to go over the edge and share her struggle to be present in one space with the Russian colleague of ours, and for me she was burning wood from her log pile. I was so moved and immensefully grateful to her for bringing the pain and struggle and true feelings within the group. I must admit she did it for me as well, as it was also difficult for me to keep some type of an external expertise at that moment.

I could regain the co-facilitator role and step into the feeling of calm and clear. So grateful to all the group members for the meaningful work together, for going into the tough process with an open mind and a compassionate heart and sitting together in the fire and in a controlled way doing processing and transforming, doing healing together. Learning from my colleagues about the dialogue between Palestinian and Israeli families that are working on the united idea of peace gives me hope and I see it blossoming from within, raising bottom up, becoming more powerful, thanks to the collective dreaming process. 

There is a lot of responsibility and ecology involved as it takes courage just to name the world's disasters and atrocities by their names. It takes time to grieve and heal and it takes a lot of love to be together. I am touched that there are many beautiful people who are already working hard together on the peacebuilding and genuinely want to see our world a better place. 

And just before wrapping our group process up, another group member brought in the world channel: at that moment in her place in the dull grey sky appeared some sunshine. 

I feel deeply moved by the depth of feeling and humanity in our group and it’s hard to find any words to write. I feel such overwhelming sadness and at the same time it’s important for me to feel hope in the hopelessness, otherwise I am frozen. I am desperate to do something. Talking about the genocide in Gaza. How we can hold onto all sides and learn from Palestinians and Israelis who are working together for peace. How can we follow a new way that is not the story given to us by the mainstream media …..the pain of being Ukranian and of being Russian…I am feeling so aware of my own privilege and responsibility to speak out for peace and against the genocides that are happening right now. Feeling compassion when I am so overwhelmed with what is happening in the world, maybe we need to be just where we are on the path for a better world?  And then I feel hope that we are here, from across the world, sitting together, in our silence and our pain deeply talking and listening to each other. Philipa

Last week, we did a half-day guided tour with some friends from afar through Berlin (Holocoust memorial, Check-PointCharly). The wall through city always felt like a scar between Weat and East, but I also felt inspired to learn from all these historical wounds. Not this time. This time I felt hopeless. 

Did we get any further as human species? Where are the learnings and the different future? 

The topics in the sorting today deepened my state. I felt desperation, sadness, and hopelessness in the group while sorting a topic. Then, yes, we chose Genozide - and the difficulty to name it. 

Maybe it is not about the term, but about ... what? But about finding out when we are human and when not in our little everyday lives.

I am moody. Sitting in a coffee. Want to be in the world but not relate? It is good to hear the noise and sense people around. And it is good to be alone. Alone with my mood.

Luckily people are not interested in me. I like that. It helps me to dive into the ocean. I write just letting arise words out of the moody silence. Writing helps me swim. The waitress brings me my coffee.

As I see you writing, she says, we have some Christmas cards we hand over to old people who are alone in this festive season. Would you mind writing on?

No, I do not mind. I write out of my ocean some kind words to an old person who did not choose to be alone. And somehow we are for a moment gently connected.

It changes my mood and I get a glimpse of what a prayer can do, it is not enough, but it is nourishing the gentle ocean of humanity - it is like sending postcards from the heart.

2. No.

3. I feel so sad with Tanya when she talks about her family and the conflicts in her life.

4. Not now. Just only more understanding the feelings of the person in conflicts.

How do we see that “Truth” is hugely a very particular framing used to demonize one and glorify the other. Do we fuel the conflict by siding with a “truth” or do we promote peace? 

Yet, when the figure saying this comes to the worldworks on russo-ukrainian war, it disturbs me: “you are too abstractly “neutral”, you simply avoid to take a stand, you are useless” – I want to say. 

Yet, when taking stands (i.e. taking sides) happens in the group process over Israel-Palestine (which doesn’t urge me to identify with a side), this is exactly the voice I want to embody. In fact, this is the only voice I see potentially making a difference. 

Thinking of the first year of the Russian invasion in Ukraine of interaction with Ukrainian friends and colleagues in group processes. There was a huge urge to call it a genocide. Well, when allowing myself to be in so-called “second phase of the conflict” (the one when you fight, take side and stand your ground) I was siding with Ukraine, so that was easy for me to call it any way you want. But when asking: “what is it you actually want when asking me to call it that?” – there opened up the need to acknowledge the incomprehensible pain and grief. Which unites, rather than separates.

Today`s work was personally very deep for me as I am from Ukraine, being displaced from my native city, a refugee and the war is still happening. When someone mentioned the word genocide it immediately brought all waves of emotions inside me and willingness to respond immediately, even though the reference was Gaza, where people also die because of the war conflict.

The whole feeling of frustration, pain and sadness, being weak and overwhelmed, not being able to change what is happening, takes away all hopes for a better future, or any future actually. Propaganda is protecting us from atrocities and genocide not naming things by the true names, we feel comfortable in our bubbles, waking up from time to time to share our concerns that it should not be happening, especially if you are not in the war zone. 

At the same time we have to wake up and bring our voices  on a personal and community level to shake the world,  to reconnect with our ancestors who already paid a high price to stop wars and make it safe for us. In war everyone loses, there is no winner, nothing can be won by sacrificing people`s life. When awareness comes, it brings us closer to awakening that there is hope and there is life as such groups as WWJ exist, and we have all the power to influence, work on reconciliation and change the world. Time to stop being guilty and act, take shared responsibilities. It brings lots of love and hope. Thank you, everyone!

1- What was your experience of the GP? 

2- Was there a role or a moment that disturbed you or had special energy for you?

3- Is there an experience / voice / role that you’d like to describe more and deepen?

4- Has anything shifted for you?