https://padlet.com/29asharma/ceymr6xo8mm6cvsa Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2022-10-21 15:31:09 UTC 2023-03-21 22:22:39 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/26bd.png 29eciemniecki https://padlet.com/29asharma/ceymr6xo8mm6cvsa/wish/2403781312 A stench of your narrative , “The roller coaster of moments” I liked how much detail you added. I think it was great how you described everything for me to understand your story. This really made me want to keep reading. In addition I liked how you let me know what the characters looked liked and sounded like. This gave me an idea of what your character was like. I also really liked how you made your ending so interesting. However, I think your ending could have said more about the pathway of light and what it looked like and what it was. Overall I think this was a pretty good story.

]]> 2022-11-30 15:54:26 UTC https://padlet.com/29asharma/ceymr6xo8mm6cvsa/wish/2403781312 29ansandhu https://padlet.com/29asharma/ceymr6xo8mm6cvsa/wish/2403809267 Hi Aishwarya! I loved you piece! My first star for your piece is that I loved how you used inner thoughts to convey the mood of the story. The way you expressed Sally’s emotions through her inner thoughts was very effectively and I immediately could understand how Sally was feeling that moment.Another star for your story is how you used hyphenated modifiers to express the expressions on a character's face. I think this is a very effective way to convey emotions in a story because sometimes words cannot describe the look on someone’s face. This way also helps the reader relate to the story and characters easier, and it definitely helped me perfectly picture how the look on a character's face when you used a hyphenated modifier.Finally, a wish I have for your story is that you would slow down the moment and include some sensory details. I think that they would really strengthen and further develop your piece. Other than that, great job!!!😎]]> 2022-11-30 16:11:18 UTC https://padlet.com/29asharma/ceymr6xo8mm6cvsa/wish/2403809267 https://padlet.com/29asharma/ceymr6xo8mm6cvsa/wish/2525909740 Hi Aishwarya,One thing that I really liked about your piece was that you used great word choice, for example “informs the viewer of an incredibly powerful theme”. Another thing that I loved about your piece was that you stated and made sure your theme was strong, for example “the importance of loving oneself no matter the looks.” And “Indeed, this moment establishes the theme deeply because the message accepting oneself teaches a significant lesson of self love.”Something i would recommend however would be to look at the words you already used because there was a little repetition in your piece, other wise your piece was amazing.]]> 2023-03-21 18:36:22 UTC https://padlet.com/29asharma/ceymr6xo8mm6cvsa/wish/2525909740 29smalone https://padlet.com/29asharma/ceymr6xo8mm6cvsa/wish/2526065286 Aishwarya, your writing was INCREDIBLE!!!! First of all I really liked the way you worded your piece using words that described the characters in Boundin. For example you said that the sheep had a dejected poster which clearly told me he was sad. You said it in a way that was and wasn’t show not tell and I like that. If I were to improve this I would use more show not tell but it was absolutely great. I also really liked how you wrote SO much. By writing so much you were able to give the reader a full understanding of the Pixar short and your claim. By being able to understand everything makes it so easy to understand and take in the idea. Lastly, I really liked that you were able to use so many transition words in your writing. Being able to use transitions like you did is really helpful because most people struggle to find transitions that fit what they are writing. Asiswarya, you did an amazing job.

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