Heng News by Bong GongEr

JAMES BEATS GONGS NON STOP ! REPORTERS SUSPECTS GONGS ADDICTION ( 2/4/2015 )

gongerbong — 2015-04-02 11:05:36 UTC

James has been beating gongs for the past 6.9 years. He simply loves gongs. " If I was to even hear the word gong, I would immediately want to beat a gong," James commented, " Even seeing one makes me excited and jiggly all over" , he continues. James beat gongs 13 hours a day. Gong beating seems to be his hobby. "I once saw him in a restaurant," Sky said, " someone just said gong and James started looking for a gong and couldn't find one, so he simply starts banging the table," Sky continues. Mr Lee Kuan Yew devoted his life to Singapore, while James devoted his life to gongs. " I am even willing to die for a gong," James once said. When we interviewed James to ask him why he loves gongs, he said," All my life I had been a poor gonger who bangs gong. I sleep in a hotel and I simply love banging gongs. I bang them every night. With even a word gong make me wanna bang it harder. The louder, the harder, the better. I live gongs. They are my life. Gongs are good as they are loud, round and noisy. May all the gongs be the best instruments in the entire gongy world. Yay gongs. Anyone who hates gongs are idiots. I am sir Gong-Er, and I will never let down the gong spirit. I will care for gongs over man" He says. James longest gonging was 69 hours straight. His motto"I am James Lim WeiHong beat a GONG ah gong ah gong ah gong gong gong"

MAN AND GONGS. TOGETHER 4 EVER !!!! ( 2/4/2015 )

gongerbong — 2015-04-02 11:10:06 UTC

13 year old James Lim was suspected to be one of the worlds best gonger. He gongs a gong at least 13 hours a day. He had devoted his life for gongs. " I am not addicted to gongs, it is that I simply love it," James cried out when we questioned him. It was really tricky for us reporters to decide as James can even giggle and get excited when heard the word " GONG ". We had send out some top quality stalkers to find out the truth about this maniactic gonger. " We really believe that James is obsessed with gongs," top stalker Dasum said," I can really conclude that JAMES equals to GONGS," Dasum continued. We, Heng News will continue stalking this addict gonger. Why does he keep gonging? And what will he do next?

BREAKING NEWS! XTRA STENCHY GIRL ERUPTS INTO WORLD !!! ( 2/4/2015 )

gongerbong — 2015-04-02 11:33:28 UTC

12 year old Si Jie broke the worlds smelliest record, along with her revolting smell of drool. "Her revolting stench could be smelt 5 feet away. If she doesn't bathe, it hits almost up to 8 feet! " Her brother, Si Liang, claims when interviewed. In the MRT, our professional stalkers can't even be 1 feet close to her. Even the the smell gets a little corrosive if not bathed for 3 days. " Her stench is killing," a passenger protested," I rather die then live a day with her," he continues. Some weak grass even die to her stench. The drool was overwhelming, it is a miracle she is not corroding yet. " We can't believe this kind of people even exist!" Singapore's top scientist are working on a new formula to cure her stench, as it was so powerful that even gas mask can smell it. How can we accept such a smelling, revolting, hated woman

KICKIN' IT! KING OF COMEDY! ( 2/4/2015 )

gongerbong — 2015-04-02 12:14:52 UTC

Our biggest votes on 'Best Comedy Ever' states Kickin' It is the news champion! Roars and screams of joy erupted the air when we announced the winner. "Kickin' It is the best! We love you!" 14 year old Annisa Vongay, a Kickin' It fan, announced when we interviewed her. She claims that she watches Kickin' It at least 4 times a day, sometime not even drinking, eating and using the loo. More than 4.2 million cheers were heard as they were supporting Kickin' It. During the huge meet and greet in Marina Bay, some people even went wild and screamed like a maniac at the sight if any one of the Kickin' It actors, and were sent out kicking wildly and screaming madly by the security guard. "If they get any wilder, we might as well shut the whole thing down," the directer, Bill Wiltingon exclaimed to the reported, " crazy people are really going to look ugly," he continues. Statistics show more than 1 million people hooted in laugher when they saw the movie. " It was so funny, I could barely watch straight, leave alone stand straight,"13 year old Johnny Englit says. " I hooted so loud, I made 5 neighbours complain," 15 year old Ethan Barnieson exclaims proudly. " If it gets any funnier, my dad's gonna consider getting sound-proof walls," 12 year old Albus Sentony announced. Reports shows that Kickin' It made over 800,000 want to learn karate, boosting the karate dojos business. " Our number of students went from 15 to 33. What a huge increase!" Karate Sensei, Mitashu Oijiny said. Kickin' really can catch fans easier than webs!

CRAZED MAN CLAIMS TO BE AN ANTI GONGER! REPORTER THINKS IT IS AS FAKE AS PLASTIC SURGERY!!! ( 3/4/2015 )

gongerbong — 2015-04-02 14:16:10 UTC

Just recently, James Lim, the gonger addict, claims that he is an anti gonger. Seeing the fact that on the previous news said that he gongs 13 hours a day, everyone finds his sudden anti gonginess quiet suspicious. " I decided to become an anti goner! In fact, I never did actually like gongs," James said," I hated gongs from the start! Don't think I am crazy about gongs!" James continues. Recent theories by the pro stalkers have proven that James still gongs 13 hours a day. He still keeps he motto " I am James Lim WeiHong beat a gong ah gong ah gong ah gong gong gong". Although he is less jittery at the sight of gong and the word ' gong' , he stills is a bit excited and jittery about gongs. " I saw him in the coffee shop yesterday still gonging on his plate while waiting for his food, how is that anti gonger?" Amande Vedone, 28, said. According to our pro stalkers, what Amande stated was true. Cameras had caught his rapid gonging solos while he banged on his plate, oblivious to the crowd behind him. In shopping centres, one can just look at James for a second and can see him gonging his bag like a gong. " Him? An anti gonger? James? Trust me, no such thing! " Leng Sio Peng, 52, mocked James," I'd believe it when I see it," he added. If you peeped into his house window carefully behind his curtains, you can catch a glimpse of him gonging on his table. James also didn't get rid of his 20 antique gongs transported from Taiwan, Beijing and Shanghai. " I may be an anti gonger, but I am most certainly not giving away my antiques," James said with great confidence, filled with courage. Reporters, residents and others are until now still unsure did James really mean that he really is an anti gonger, but experts, pro stalkers and other people are most definitely are keep a good lookout for that suspicious man until more clues can be found.

WHAT IS A GOOD MOTHER? FIND ALL OF IT HERE ! ( 3/4/2015 )

gongerbong — 2015-04-02 14:49:15 UTC

When you were a child, have you ever wonder what a real mom is? Well, answer will be ask, suspicions would be raised, answers would be answered. To any children, a good parent is 'here take everything you want and do not bother me' kind of parent. But, Professor Kinon Soh, had finally defined what a good parent using a motto" YOU WILL NEVER BE A GOOD PARENT UNLESS YOUR CHILD HATES YOU". Hate might be a liitle to impacting, so do not take it as your child must be a full-blown hate. " Oh ho ho, my child hates me so much, he wants to strangle me, am I a good parent?' Antui Boversy, age 44, asked. " Strangle might be a bit too hated, so you should not make him want to damage you. Hates you, yes, but not want to kill you," Professor Soh answered. Nowadays, with parental caning, scolding and punishing, it is confirmed that at least 80 percent of children hates their parents, but sadly only not all of them is hate, but hate their parents so much, damaging is involved. Statistics show at least 30 percent of the children have this ' damaging parent' mindset. As world population increase, more and more children are born. With more hate in life, scientist fear that there will be a child rebellion. Children will rule the earth while parents hide in holes in fear. Imagine headlines stating 'Children raids military base for weapons! This is the end of adult times!'. " What can we do?" 34 year old Winder Fong asked,"we can't let them play too much, they will neglect studies! But if they play too less, they will hate us!" She complains. After looking into the speech, Professor Soh considered the matter. " Well, you just look into it. Know your child. Set the appropriate timing so both your child and you are happy," Professor Soh says. Heng News will continue our search of what a good mom is. Heng News over and Out.

JAMES AGAIN? WHAT'S WITH THAT GONG BEATER? ( 3/4/2015 )

gongerbong — 2015-04-03 03:02:31 UTC

As you all know, our best stalker, Dasum, had really special news. " It was really strange! When a man said gong, James didn't even thingle! Not even an itch!" Dasum exclaims. Other people on the streets held gongs and kept on chanting," Beat the gong! Beat the gong! James Lim WeiHong beat the gong!" Yet James didn't even flinch! We suspects that he decided to change into a real anti gonger. " I saw him breaking a gong with a hammer," reported Sally Ang," he was furiously smashing it with a mallet yet not even flinching!" She says. James didn't beat a gong for a single day! People are all suspicious about James sudden change. Scientist says perhaps he lost his gong instincts. Suspicions where raised to the max. Why, a never stopping, never changing gong beater changes into an anti gonger? Its up to Dasum and his team of pro stalkers to find out. Stay tuned to the latest updates!

GIRL KICKS MALE IN THE NUTS! REPORTERS BELIEVES IT IS A DEFINITE WHACK! (4/4/2015 )

gongerbong — 2015-04-03 09:32:44 UTC

34 year old Ginny MacPheoby kicked a reporter in the nuts. " That was the most pain I had ever felt in my life!" Screams 35 year old, the poor nut damaged, John Blovosky," the pain was so sudden I felt it rushing up and down my body, like a shiver!" He continues. He explains that he wanted the interview Ginny as she broke the world records of hardest kick. Boy DID he regret every second of it. " He wanted me to show him how hard I could kick, so I kicked a tree, leaving a mark on it. But he thought I was weak so he laughed at me. What should I do? I was so enraged that I kicked him the the nuts," Ginny says when we interviewed her. Ginny wanted to show John how hard she can kick, so the best place to whack at that moment was the dangling banana on his below. " If I could kick any harder, I'm going to bet his balls are going to explode," Ginny continues. After some investigations and checks, Ginny was fined 5000 SGD to cover up Johns damaged 'dangling banana'. "The 'below' was so swollen, it looked like an oversized grape. There was a little bleed, and there was a nasty mark left," Doctor Nefaro Vonvichy says when we asked him how was Johns 'below', "I really agree with Ginny that if the kick was any harder, Johns 'banana" will explode!" Doctor Nefaro continues. So, in conclusion, John better thank his lucky stars Ginnys ' banana whack' was not any harder. Good luck John

NEW BLOG

gongerbong — 2015-04-19 02:23:46 UTC

I am transferring all this to a new blog. Visit

www.gongerhengnews.blogspot.com

Enjoy it!

P.S An article a day makes us all happier today