Reflections by Devshri Trail https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf How has others people's perception of you has affected you. en-us 2021-04-16 05:38:05 UTC 2022-12-06 05:21:18 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f3ad.png https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408034841 X person made me think I was irresponsible, that I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. It made me question myself and my identity for over a month because I used to look up to this person and thought they were right. Turns out they were wrong all along. ]]> 2022-12-04 14:20:38 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408034841 https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408057675 Some friends made me think I was underconfident and that I was stupid. It made me lose my self-esteem at a point of time and I started isolating myself, not wanting to have any interactions with the outside world. I was close friends with them which is why I used to take their opinions to the heart. I recently realised it wasn't true, I just needed to come out of my shell to show my true self.]]> 2022-12-04 14:53:21 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408057675 https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408060906 A lot of people made me think i was stupid because of my academics I feel like the this has affected to me to a large extenothin  I belived I was good for nothing. ]]> 2022-12-04 14:58:43 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408060906 https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408060945 A person used to always say that I was dumb, couldn't do anything on my own and I used to think that I was true. Recently now that I come out of shelf I have realized that I was not helpless but I wasn't allowed to use my skills and was spoon fed. ]]> 2022-12-04 14:58:47 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408060945 devshritrail https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408061020 A few members of my family would always comment on my body in a negative light. When I lost weight due to temporary medical reasons I was praised by them. This led to me developing an eating disorder which really affected my overall health in the long run. I wish I had not wanted to seek their validation about my body.]]> 2022-12-04 14:58:54 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408061020 https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408062879 There was a point in my life when I was close to a certain group of people, with whom I shared a lot of stuff with, only to find out they used to make fun of me behind my back. It made me feel miserable about myself and lowered my self esteem a lot. I started to feel very vulnerable and petty about myself and always began to self doubt before saying anything.. ]]> 2022-12-04 15:02:15 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408062879 https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408071593 Coincidentally my group of friends were always toppers and really good at academics, and I was the only one lagging behind. Somehow, through words and actions they made me feel inferior to them. I use to doubt myself and my capabilities. It made me go into this shell because I started believing that just because I am not that good in academics that means I am not good at other things as well. I started growing under confident and that really butchered my self esteem. ]]> 2022-12-04 15:18:35 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408071593 https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408074595 I've been told I'm boring, point black. Mine isn't stereotypically bad per se, but it did make me think twice about how I present myself and how people percieve me. Because its usually with people who I'm meeting for the first time with no mutual connections whatsoever. It made me realise just how difficult it is for me carry a conversation on my sole merit without depending on other connections. Often times I just don't have anything to say but would gladly listen to the other person. I guess that comes off as me not taking an interest? Either way, it has definitely made me rethink some stuff.]]> 2022-12-04 15:24:14 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408074595 devshritrail https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408075063 I was told that I  spoke too loudly, was too happy and was talkative. My classmates would ask me what do I have to be happy about so much? This led to me not speaking much because I felt as if  I was burdening others and that I had no right to be myself.
 ]]> 2022-12-04 15:25:06 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408075063 https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408075170 I’ve been depressed for a really, really long time. I don’t remember when it started, honestly. I think fourteen? Thirteen? It’s all blended together. I’m the youngest sibling in the family, with an older sister who’s always been seen as ‘perfect’. Pretty skin, a high nose, she was adorable when she was younger. I was more of the opposite- dark-skinned, some hyperpigmentation on the sides of my cheeks, and ‘fat’. And living with orthodox relatives who only ever called my sister an angel it took its toll on me. I began thinking of my weight as early as eleven years old. I couldn’t do anything about the hyperpigmentation, of course, but my parents saw to that and got me some creams prescribed (can’t have one ugly and one pretty, no?).
Then came academics. It was typical gifted kid burnout , to be honest. By around eighth grade I had unironically begun questioning what my existence was even for. Didn’t help that my dad was so hung up on me ‘improving myself’ that he ended up yelling at me for everything. Talking too much? Talking too little? Not knowing what to say where? Wanting to die? (‘You’re a coward’. When I was nine.) 

Then came the era when my sister started to slip. It started with a few arguments, and counting today, it’s escalated to a point where all she does is scream and curse and hit my parents, when they’ve done everything in their power to remain open-minded and understanding about her. They’ve apologised for so many things, even things they haven’t done and it’s never enough for her, and she never tells us what she needs, and they just… they just keep fighting. I can’t even imagine what she’s going through, but it doesn’t excuse her (largely violent) outbursts. Whatever my parents try to withhold in front of her gets taken out on me. In the end, when the three of them ‘make up’, I’ve never been even acknowledged, forget about an apology for hitting me because mum or dad or my sister wasn’t obeying whoever well enough. Not an apology for asking me to shut up and get out when I try to reason with them, to tell them that she’s hurting, that they’re all hurting. Nothing. Im just a bystander to them, with zero collateral damage. 

I’ve learnt that putting the past behind me is the best (the only) thing I can do. My father and I have made up rather well, and I’ve learnt to value the good times that him and my mother try to create for me and my sister.

I’m largely hesitant about putting something like this up in such an open region of the internet, and there’s quite a bit that I’ve omitted. It’ll sound selfish of me, it probably is, but I needed to say something about it. That’s all. If you’ve read up to here, you have my utmost gratitude. Thank you.]]> 2022-12-04 15:25:19 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408075170 I was overweight at a point and indirectly made fun of. When I lost weight not for them but for myself and for my health, all the people who bullied me now want to get in touch https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408092028 2022-12-04 15:53:37 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408092028 One of my best friends is constantly trying to show that i am dumb and stupid and she is more smarter richer and good looking and all of that....well honestly it did not affect my confidence at all because ik in this world there are many people like her and I will keep meeting them so I always take it as a challenge and one learning experience so that even in the future when I meet people like her i will know how to handle them https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408148896 2022-12-04 17:29:56 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408148896 https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408182902 Other people's opinions and thoughts have really helped me grow physically and emotionally. It is said that the comments orher people make about you in any way leaves a psychological scar on your mind. I completely stand by this fact. I have honestly changed myself a lot because of people's views. Few years back, I had a friend who was pretty close to me. Gradually, she started giving me these negative vibes by continuously commenting on my physical appearance and academic abilities. At first, I didn't give it much thought but then slowly it started affecting me and sent me into a phase of depression. I realised that this friendship was toxic for me and therefore I stopped talking to her. At the same time, I started to work upon the flaws or weaknesses she pointed out in me. Today, I am happy with the decision I made earlier as I feel that I have had a quite positive growth and have learnt from my past mistakes. Therefore, I totally believe that other people's perception has really helped me change myself.]]> 2022-12-04 18:27:51 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408182902 "People’s identity gets stained due to the perceptions of others about them. Just like the stained mirrors, these stains can be positive or negative . One thing is for sure that over time these stains might fade but will always leave a mark .We always look for outward validation and praise and when we don't receive it we will do anything to get it." devshritrail https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408538097 2022-12-05 03:26:05 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408538097 https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408538982 It made me hate myself. Simply. People told me I was incompetent and they told me I couldn't study certain subjects. I could've pursued what I loved but now I'm doing something else because they made me believe that I couldn't. People also made me feel ugly and worthless and it crippled my social ability to talk go people or make more friends. It's taken a while for me to get past those things and stop caring but I still find myself slipping or acting in a certain way that isn't true to myself at times. ]]> 2022-12-05 03:27:08 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408538982 devshritrail https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408546069 I have always been an introvert.. In many ways.. But once I am too close to person I am an open book..being generous and good person in this era is sin..they blamed me that i am worthless and useless friend..a selfish human ..and yeah since I am emotional fool..I cried..everyday became awful..then i used to get frustrated, irritated and i was moody..time passed..my best friend guided me..she made me realized never let other people dominate you..their review about us is not required..people who love us understand that we are not perfect..and cope with us..then i confronted them..said to them “i don't need your advice..i am mess but i don’t need you to fix me..]]> 2022-12-05 03:35:19 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2408546069 People's opinions do affect me but the intensity of the that "affect" Depends if that person is a known or unknow and if known then how close that person is to me. https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2409276638 Even though the opinions do affect , over the period of time i have made myself understand that i can do what ever I want and the unknown people's opinions shouldn't affect me that much, even in the case of knows, until that person really holds allottt of importance in my life, their opinions shouldnt affect me but also if those opinions are making me Or my work better then I do take them positively. ]]> 2022-12-05 15:09:28 UTC https://padlet.com/devshritrail/c5jsp44je4b4i1hf/wish/2409276638