https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc Why I Am Who I Am en-us 2020-01-12 17:10:02 UTC 2023-05-30 06:03:51 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f469-1f3eb.png kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430499097 I grew up in a single family home and was blessed to have lived in the same house from birth through 18 years old with both parents and my sister. Our home was a three bedroom, two bathroom home. My sister and I had our own rooms and shared a bathroom. We had a yard that we could play in and I remember many of my friends coming over to play. We also had a cement driveway and a basketball goal we could use to practice new skills. As I grew into an adult, some of my friends' parents divorced and my friends had to move. Other friends had blended families which seemed to also end in divorce. Witnessing these situations made me truly understand how blessed I am. 

I grew up in a small town with a population around 350. I attended the same school from kindergarten through twelfth grade. The school was small, averaging about ten students per class and there was only one teacher per grade level.  

As I grew up, most of the town's population consisted of elderly people who valued respect and tradition. The elderly and my parents help set my values and beliefs. In a small town, everyone knows everyone.  I always felt safe and knew that if I made poor choices, my parents would definitely find out. 

People in my town were predominately white. There were a few Hispanic families. Some of my childhood friends were Hispanic, but I was not fully aware of their culture. I did know that the girls celebrated their fifteenth birthday with a quinceanera. 

Growing up in a small town has many benefits, but lacks experience in multicultural knowledge.]]> 2020-01-12 17:24:51 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430499097 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430503879 My parents worked hard after work every day for about three years to build our home. They had a couple of friends who were electricians and roofers and helped when they could, but most of the work was completed by my parents. They also saved up money and paid for materials as they built resulting in no mortgage. Although I was a child when my home was built, as an adult I view this as an excellent example of commitment, perseverance, patience, and goal setting. ]]> 2020-01-12 17:55:53 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430503879 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430511778 To have a moral compass is the ability to know the difference between right and wrong. My definition of morals includes honesty, trustworthiness, patience, responsibility, perseverance, and respect. 

Honesty is more than not telling a lie. Honesty means making good moral decisions even when others are not around to witness it. This is what my parents instilled in myself and my sister growing up. It also influences me as an adult. For example, if I see an individual unknowingly drop money, I always tell them or pick it up and hand it to them. 

Trustworthiness is the ability to be honest and dependable even in difficult situations. My family and extended family are very trustworthy. I knew growing up that some family situations seemed awkward, but everyone got along and kept quiet. Just within the last few years my parents shared some this information from those situations which they were protecting my sister and I, like most parents do. My parents' trustworthiness has helped me to understand that some information should always remain confidential. As an adult who values the importance of confidentiality, there are some co-workers that trust me with their most important information. They know I will keep their information private and if they ask me for an honest opinion, I will delicately give them a sincere answer. Otherwise, I just listen and do not give advice.

My definition of patience is the ability to respond appropriately and calmly under pressure to control one's emotions. My parents were very patient with my sister and I growing up. My sister and I are six years apart, so we did not experience the teenage years together. I am older but my sister was the challenging child. I remember my parents frequently sitting down with her and patiently working through issues she had brought upon herself. I also remember them explaining their wisdom to her and that they were trying to help her understand the effects of some of her choices. I do not remember my parents ever raising their voices at us, but rather calmly discussing solutions to our situations with us. My experience with my parents patience has helped me with my own children, and the children in my classroom. Although it is challenging sometimes to be patient, the outcome is much more significant that the alternative. I have learned that patience is definitely a virtue.

Responsibility means to be accountable for your own actions whether your actions are good or bad. My parents taught us the importance of responsibility by giving us chores, but by also helping us understand that our actions lead to results. They helped us understand those results can be good or bad. They would use their own mistakes or positive choices as an example and would also use other people's mistakes or positive choices to help us understand there is a direct correlation between the two. This has resonated with me growing up. I now have two children that my husband and I have successfully taught this important moral. I also use responsibility in my classroom. I constantly remind my second graders that life is full of choices and they must be  responsible for their own actions. 

Perseverance means to successfully complete a goal regardless of the challenges. As I was working on my undergraduate degree, there were several times I felt completely overwhelmed and thought about dropping out of college. During that time I worked at a fast food restaurant and each day I went to work, I was reminded of why I needed to complete my degree. I would remind myself that this time would pass and things would get better. Although it was not easy, I did persevere and graduate. As I began graduate school last June, I became overwhelmed and thought about dropping out just three weeks into my first two courses. My husband told me if I thought I could not do it, then I could not; but if I thought I could, then I would. Obviously I persevered and thankful I continued. My parents and my husband have helped me persevere through undergraduate and graduate school. Neither of my parents have a college degree or any technical training, but they strongly supported me in undergraduate school and now in graduate school. It was important to my parents for me to graduate from college as they wanted me to be successful. 

My definition of respect means to be friendly and considerate of others. My parents raised us to always speak when spoken to and answer with "yes ma'am" or "no ma'am" or "yes sir" or "no sir." They also taught us to be considerate of others. They explained to us that not everyone agrees with what we do and we may not agree with what they do, but we must understand that is acceptable. My husband and I have instilled this in our children. Our son, 14, is very interested in other cultures and beliefs. He enjoys listening to others talk about their culture and how different it is from ours. ]]> 2020-01-12 18:50:02 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430511778 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430525837 To me, this picture is a simple moral compass that has helped me grow into the adult I am today. This image symbolizes there is either a right way or a wrong way when making moral choices. Honesty, trustworthiness, patience, responsibility, perseverance, and respect are basic morals that I strongly believe in. 
(bwzone.wordpress.com)]]> 2020-01-12 20:30:15 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430525837 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430527787 I consider values to include dependability, commitment, consistency, humor, and compassion.

I was raised to understand dependability is a value because even when I was growing up, it was challenging to be able to depend on someone else. I was taught if you agreed to do something for someone else, then you follow through with that agreement. Dependability is significant as it shows others they can trust you. They know you are responsible in an emergency situation or any other situation. 

Consistency refers to staying true to who you are and what your values and beliefs are regardless of what others believe. For example, it is acceptable for one to have different meanings of commitment. However, for me, commitment would be following through with a promise I made to be consistent in my values. I grew up with consistency throughout our everyday lives. My parents are firm believers in not wavering from who you are and what you stand for.

Commitment is a promise you make to others. Commitment is important as you have agreed to participate in some type of activity. This could include sports, raising an animal, continuing your education, and many other activities. I was raised to understand that committing to playing a sport was not only for my benefit, but for my teammates as well. If I committed, then I needed to give one-hundred percent effort at practices, games, and meets. As our son entered junior high, we had many discussions about commitment and effort. These important discussions will continue as he begins high school next year, and our daughter begins junior high.

Although most of my core values are serious, humor was also included in my household. My parents felt that humor could make stressful situations slightly less stressful. As I grew up, my dad in particular, would tease me when I made a mistake. He did not tease me to be mean, but I was extremely hard on myself and he was teaching me to not take my mistakes so seriously. It was important to learn from my mistakes, but did not always require a serious tone. We have taught our children to laugh at some of their own mistakes, and to laugh at our mistakes as we learn from them. Humor does seem to lighten our stressful situations.

Both of my parents are strong believers in compassion. Compassion involves empathy and understanding. There were times when I did not understand why a friend was acting ugly to me and my parents would sit me down and discreetly discuss the issues my friend's family was having. Those issues ranged from financial strains to domestic abuse. They would offer for that child to stay the night with us so they could have running water, food to eat, or so she could just get away for a while. Although my parents did not have much money, we always had running water, food, clean clothes, and a loving home we could share. This  experience has helped me teach compassion to our daughter. For example, a classmate had a birthday party but we couldn't make it. Our daughter did not understand why I wanted to get her classmate a gift if we were not able to attend the party. I explained that her classmate's family has a hard time financially and she may not get many gifts for her birthday and she would probably be grateful for a present.  
My parents would show compassion each night by hugging and kissing my sister and I on the forehead each night before bedtime. This is something I also do with my children. With extended family, we hug before leaving.











]]> 2020-01-12 20:44:54 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430527787 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430535836 My beliefs include respecting religious beliefs, individual uniqueness, and positive self-thoughts.

Religious beliefs define who we are as individuals. My parents raised us to stay true to our religious beliefs but also be aware of other people's religious beliefs and respect their beliefs as well. 

For the holidays, we celebrate Thanksgiving by enjoying a feast and family time. 
At Christmas, my family my and sister's family meet at my parents house.  We usually have steaks or other foods rather than a repeat of Thanksgiving. After Christmas lunch, the kids open their presents and the adults participate in a Chinese Christmas gift exchange. Easter is held at our house and we have a pot luck lunch. After lunch, the kids hunt for eggs and there is usually a prize egg with money in it. Although my married last name is Murphy, we do not really celebrate St. Patrick's Day. For the Fourth of July, our town usually has a small celebration with outdoor games and a spectacular fireworks show at dark that our family attends. Halloween is a typical celebration with the kids dressing up in costumes and trick-or-treating.  
Birthdays are usually celebrated with either a home-cooked meal and dessert or celebrated at a restaurant. It is always a surprise to what gift we get. Sometimes we get cash or gift cards, and other times it may be something we asked for. 
Weddings involve the typical ceremony although the settings may be different. My husband and I had an outside wedding, my sister had her wedding in a small chapel, and other family members had their weddings either in a church or a venue that included a barn.

I was raised to understand that each person is different and has their own set of goals, hopes, and fears. I grew to understand that most people want a good life, a good job, happy family, and relaxation time. I believe that most people are good, but always pay attention to your surroundings. 

My beliefs also include positive self-thoughts. School has never come easy to me, but my parents taught me to acknowledge a positive self-thought for every negative thought I had. For example, as I would struggle with school assignments, I would also remind myself that I am a hard-worker and my teachers will notice my efforts. I would also remind myself that I was always trying my best, and as I got older, I understood that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.]]> 2020-01-12 21:46:44 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430535836 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430541870 This image connects to values by symbolizing how core values are what holds people accountable. If the important piece is missing, people may struggle and lose sight of who they are.
(fitssmallbusiness.com)]]> 2020-01-12 22:40:02 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430541870 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430542867 This image explains how we are raised to understand and respect our own meaning of morals, values, and beliefs. As we develop into adults, our beliefs eventually transform into our lives.
(controversos.com)]]> 2020-01-12 22:49:16 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430542867 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430543643 My parents raised me to set academic and athletic goals. Academically I set a goal in high school to work hard and diligently in math. The school had been through five math teachers by the time I was a junior although we only had one math teacher for high school math. I struggled in math and this compounded the problem. Together, with my parents, we hired a tutor and I passed my math course, and the ACT, and was accepted to the college of my choice. During each basketball season, I set a goal of making 70 out of 100 free throws when I practiced at home since free throws can win a game. I set a goal in 2012 to attend graduate school within the next 10 years. I cut it close, but I made it.

 Goal setting is important to advance in life. If one does not set goals, there is a lack of motivation to accomplish a task. ]]> 2020-01-12 22:56:52 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430543643 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430545549 This image explains that when setting goals, start with small, attainable goals. Once those goals are accomplished, set more challenging goals and keep increasing your goals until you reach your ultimate goal or goals.
(letstalkagile.com)]]> 2020-01-12 23:12:51 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430545549 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430546085 Another cultural root I grew up learning was how to dress appropriately. My parents made sure my sister and I were dressed appropriately. We did not own or wear clothes that were too tight or revealing. As we grew into young adults, we learned how to dress professionally for our careers. 
My dad always kept his hair short and was mostly clean shaven. If he grew his beard out, he kept it groomed. My mother was always appropriately dressed. This is something we will instill in our daughter as she enters the teenage years. Our son will also learn how to groom his beard if he chooses to have one.

This is significant as we want to be viewed as respected, professional and trustworthy adults with each individual we encounter.]]> 2020-01-12 23:17:23 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430546085 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430547341 As teenagers, young adults, and adults, we should present ourselves appropriately whether in casual or professional dress. As the picture explains, we do not want to send mixed messages to friends, bosses, or strangers. Men should groom their beards to show proper hygiene and professionalism.
(Ids.org)]]> 2020-01-12 23:27:41 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430547341 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430547983 Education was always an important topic discussed in our home. My dad would tell us knowledge is the way to success. Neither of my parents attended college or any type of trade school. My dad worked at the nuclear power plant and my mother had various jobs. 

This is significant as they both ingrained the importance of education so my sister and I would not have to work jobs with minimal income and barely be able to provide the necessities for our families. My sister has a degree in social work and I am currently pursuing my master's degree.

My husband and I have already been discussing the importance of education with our children. We tell them if they choose not to go to college, then they need to learn a trade of some sort or join the military to ensure their success as adults.


]]> 2020-01-12 23:33:53 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430547983 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430548959 The image connects to the education influence I had by simply showing how more education equals more of everything including knowledge, happiness, and income.
(eduwebguru.com)]]> 2020-01-12 23:44:16 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430548959 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430549166 Behavior includes many cultural roots including values, morals, dress, beliefs, goals and also attitude. Attitude not only includes behavior but also how one views positive and negative opportunities in life. How an individual interprets positive or negative opportunities results in a positive or negative mindset. 

This is significant because throughout my childhood, my parents mainly revealed a positive mindset. During the negative times, I recall my aunt and grandmother calling to check on us or they would stop for a visit. My family is very small and most of them live just 10 miles away. Now my aunt and grandmother have health issues so my parents, sister, or I frequently call to check on them. ]]> 2020-01-12 23:46:18 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430549166 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430556708 This image shows how positive behavior choices lead to rewards while negative behavior results in consequences. I have always aimed to have positive behaviors. Throughout high school I was called a "goody-two-shoe." I usually made positive behavior choices due to my moral compass and values. 
(tccl.rit.albany.edu)]]> 2020-01-13 00:44:12 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430556708 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430558996 I was raised to believe marriage is sacred and requires mutual respect, trust, honesty, and each spouse should be supportive of the other. 
From a child's perspective, my parents marriage was perfect. As I grew into a young adult, I understood that marriage does not always mean agreeing with each other, but still respecting each other's thoughts and ideas while being supportive. 

I have been married for almost 18 years and my parents example of marriage and how to work through differences has positively impacted my marriage. ]]> 2020-01-13 00:59:18 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430558996 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430560945 I believe that for marriage to be successful, respect is essential. If you respect your spouse first then trust, honesty, and the support needed will naturally be in place.
(wow4u.com)]]> 2020-01-13 01:11:31 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430560945 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430562188 I believe social norms tend to be how we develop friendships. We tend to find others who have the same or similar values, beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors. Once we feel as if we have things in common and a friendships begins.
(vetoviolence.cdc.gov)]]> 2020-01-13 01:18:46 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430562188 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430562818 My parents did the best they could for my sister and I growing up. We did not have much money for the majority of our childhood. Our basic needs were met. However, my parents could not afford extra expenses such as haircuts; therefore, my mother cut our hair. There were a few times at Christmas that my parents could only afford one gift for us. I do not recall my parents hosting any parties or us attending any social gatherings. I am not sure if social gatherings were popular then, but regardless, I do not feel that I missed out on anything.

As adults, our group of friends have the same social norms as my husband and I. We do host social gatherings a few times a year and we attend a few. Everyone at the gathering has the same beliefs, values, attitudes, and behaviors. ]]> 2020-01-13 01:22:41 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/430562818 kmurphy132 https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/432190021 Beliefs. (n.d). Retrieved from www.controversos.com

Big Journeys Begin with Small Steps. (n.d). Retrieved from www.letstalkagile.com

Core Values. (n.d). Retrieved from www.fitssmallbusiness.com

Education. (n.d.). Retrieved from eduwebguru.com

Marriage. (n.d.). Retrieved from www.wow4u.com

Mixed Signals. (n.d.). Retrieved from www.Ids.org

Positive Behavior Negative Behavior. (n.d.). Retrieved from www.tccl.rit.ablany.edu

Right Way, Wrong Way. (n.d). Retrieved from www.bwzone.wordpress.com

Social Norms. (n.d.). Retrieved from www.vetoviolence.cdc.gov]]> 2020-01-16 00:28:02 UTC https://padlet.com/kmurphy132/c3i4wrhc2yoc/wish/432190021