For nearly 45 years you and I have shared a bond that no one else can understand—a bond that is one of the greatest blessings I have been given in this life. My earliest memories date back to you crawling into my crib to hang out with and care for me. We then doted on Matt together when he came into this world, though there were shenanigans with us putting his hair in barrettes, painting his nails, and encouraging him to put the running water hose in the front seat of Uncle Alan’s car.  I also remember doing summersaults and flips on our twin beds in the room we shared…we are lucky we didn’t break our necks, favorite!!

We loved going to dance lessons together and looked amazing in those leotards and tutus. No wonder we are such excellent dancers years later…assuming a song has a great beat of course... We also enjoyed talking trips to visit Baube Helene, Papa Joe, and Baube Gert, especially when Gertie would hook us up with Whatchamacallits. Only you and I understand the incident involving the driver with license plate NCY869 and how we were advocating for Baube Helene. Only you and I know where we knew not to park in Peoria, IL because cars parked there would be ‘crushed and melted.’  WTF is that? Would that really be a sign that would be posted in a public place in 2022?  Actually…don’t answer that… 

I remember our middle school years and how mean some girls and guys could be….we vowed to be different.  I believe we are. We dreaded going to cotillion class….I can still hear the female teacher’s voice saying “slow, slow, quick, quick..”  You had such a close group of friends in middle and high school-people have always flocked to you and to your kind and generous and loving personality. You are also so darn brilliant and witty and funny! I have always looked up to you for all those attributes.  You inspired me to work hard. BTW,  I truly have been totally cool with you being the favorite child….it’s well deserved, favorite sista!   I don’t recall us fighting over clothes or petty stuff….that just involved Matt and I after he stole my blue sweatshirt in high school as we all know.  

I went to my first concert with you, my first trip abroad with you, and remember experiencing and/or discussing with you so many other ‘firsts,’ especially those related to guys and our sons.  You have always given me the best advice, have never judged me, and have always had my back. We have shared our dreams with one another, and your joys have become mine.  Now together we have experienced  much sadness these past few years.  The cancer you have been battling has been so cruel and aggressive…it is so unbelievably unfair and heartbreaking that you have had to endure such mental and physical pain and anguish.   You have been brave every step of the way--you are a true inspiration.

You have done a wonderful job raising Nate.  He has been maturing before our eyes, and you have set him up for a successful life ahead.  You will always be with him in his heart and his mind.  You have taught him more and provided more love in 16 years than most parents could do in a lifetime. People say we sound alike and have similar mannerisms…am hoping that Nate finds comfort in the many attributes we share….even the nagging.   Know that our entire family is here for him in the years ahead and want him to be with us in Tampa as much as he wants to do so. I promise not to embarrass him too much in the future. Perhaps he and Joey will be roommates in college.  Hopefully Matt and I won’t have to bail them out of trouble too frequently….sigh.   

Please know this… there will NEVER be a day that you are forgotten.  Your legacy will live on in all of us.  When a stranger is in need, we will be there to help.  When a friend or family member could use a ‘pick me up,’ we will be ready with loving words and open arms. When a situation or relationship is not working or is harmful, we will speak up and move on.  When a silly voice needs to be made as only you and I can do, I will do so with a big smile as I think of you.

Please also know I will be working to set up funds in your honor for colorectal cancer education/awareness and research.  I am confident that others will breathe easier because you have lived.  Look at what you have already done by helping to get a trial set up to administer investigational cream for those on cetuximab at Moffitt.  It pains me that we don’t have a cure for you today.  I hope you know that I have not left a stone unturned in trying to find that holy grail. I know it may not seem possible, but I hate this cancer and how it is taking you from us too early perhaps as much as you do.

My dear sister, a special piece of you is in my heart, my mind, and my soul.  You will be with me EVERY day moving forward on this earth until I lie beside you again just like we did when we shared a room in Peoria and as adults when I climb in bed to snuggle with you every chance I get.  Sisters are FOREVER. You are my best friend.  I love you more than anything in this world.  Es possible…. XOXO  
Love, Jenny  

 

9 Qualities of a Spiritual Warrior

1.    They always seek the truth.

2.    They are always on the quest for self-discovery and awareness.

3.    They are passionate and persistent.

4.    They follow their intuitive hearts.

5.    They do a lot of shadow work. 

6.    They choose love over everything else.

7.    They prioritize holistic health and well being

8.    They work for a soulful mission

9.    They use their energy well 

-MindJournal 

We don’t remember the year that you moved to Louisville, but one of our first memories of your family is the visit you made to the hospital to welcome our new born son, Jeffrey.  Born in July, 1988.

Our connection to your family were Rich and Laurie Harris. Marcy went to Bradley and was friends with them in Peoria.

You and your siblings babysat for Andrew and Jeffrey when they were little. Jenny and Matt didn’t mind babysitting them, but you did. You complained that they would not go to sleep! Sorry about that.

We spent several Jewish holidays with your family. We still make your Mother’s latke recipe and think of your family every Chanukah.

A family trip to Huber’s one Fall night also proved memorable. Our boys got balloons and let them fly up in the air. Your brother had an absolute fit because the balloons were going to pollute the environment. Again, sorry about that.

We remember your Bat Mitzvah party at Bellarmine and we travelled to Matt’s Bar Mitzvah in Cleveland. Not so many years ago, we had pizza with your parents in Tampa.

We have many special memories with you and your special family.

We are so glad to have reconnected with you on Facebook. We were able to enjoy your success in the workplace and as a Mother. We are sure that you taught Nate how to be a good sleeper!

You are not far from our thoughts. Sending big hugs to the Permuth family.

Marcy and Elliott Rosengarten

Throughout all this time you remained very close to my family, especially Eunice and Kim.  You are and will always be a very important part of our family.

Alan Galsky

I met you in 2006 at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) at the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (NHLBI).  You were creating a program to bring in motivational speakers and inspire us.  You reached out to different restaurants to provide food for the events.  You knew if there was food, people would come!

When you left NHLBI for Sodexo we lost touch.  We later became friends on Facebook.

When my sister-in-law was diagnosed with Stage 4 Kidney Cancer, you and your sister were so kind.  You gave me tons of helpful tips. We commiserated on the horrendous misdiagnosis of hers and your cancer. You introduced me to Neil Tyra.  He was able to assist Robert and me with preparing her estate.

With each radiation treatment, with each surgery, with each chemotherapy, YOU got up and tried again.

Your determination to fight back this invasion of your body showed me your toughness.

Your RESILIENCE is the inspiration.

I love you so much and am so sorry for the pain and suffering you have been through.

Sending virtual hugs.

Love, Alice Sobsey

How can your life be coming to an end?  It’s crazy.  It’s stupid.  It’s unfair.

I don’t exactly remember how we met.  Maybe LinkedIn?  Maybe a referral from one of your colleagues (who, I’m pretty sure, I met on LinkedIn… I don’t remember her name).  But this paragraph you wrote some weeks ago encapsulates how I remember you:

“And so that was that, apparently. Nate asked me a question he frequently asks. "Why did you have to get involved in that?" And my answer is a little hard to explain because indeed, I pick and choose my battles. But I truly thought my intervention could have gotten him to move if I asked nicely enough. Because he was one person and he was being mean to a small woman. Because I don't like people being treated unfairly. Because I know for 🤬 certain that most others WON'T intervene. Ever. Read: Diffusion of Social Responsibility (note to Pen - nanana - others ignore). People don't intervene. I know this for certain cause most never do. And frankly, more people need to help out in situations like this. At the same time, I know we are in volatile times and I also don't want to be shot, punched, or screamed at.”

You are an Intervener with a capital “I”.  I was amazed at the things you were willing to do in the name of doing the right thing.  As ballsy as I am, I never had the nerve to pull a big institution into something for which I did not have their permission.  We set up NIH Mind-Body Week on LinkedIn – which was not sanctioned by the NIH, but you basically said, “🤬 it.  It’s the right thing to do.”   I think it was 2007 or 2008?  I still get requests, almost weekly, to join the group.  You were equally strong-minded about doing right at Sodexo.  I admire your strength and willingness to do the right thing at almost any cost.  You are always “all in”.

I’d like to briefly address your dying.  It makes me very sad.  It feels 🤬 up.  I have a pain in my chest and tears in my eyes.  I wish I would’ve done things differently (stayed in touch better, spent more time with you).  I wish things were different, but here we are.  I love you immensely.  

I also know, in every cell of my body, that it’s all going to be all right.  Perfect, actually.  That’s all I’m going to say about that because I don’t want to sound like a Pollyanna… No doubt you’re hearing a lot about how great it is on the other side and I can imagine that sounds like total 🤬 to you coming from people who are not dying. But let me know if you do want to talk about it.  I’m here.

Otherwise, this is good-bye for now.  I can’t believe it.  Feel free to visit me in the future and let me know how you are. 

With Infinite care and love, Kelley 

And when the sun comes, trumpets from his red house in the east
 He will find a standin' stone where long I chanted my release
 He will send his morning messenger to strike the hammer blow
 And i will crumble down uncountable in showers of crimson rubies when I go
 
 Sigh, mournful sister, whisper and turn
 I will rattle like dry leaves when I go
 Stand in the mist where my fire used to burn
 I will camp on the night breeze when I go
 
 And should you glimpse my wandering form out on the borderline
 Between death and resurrection and the council of the pines
 Do not worry for my comfort, do not sorrow for me so
 All your diamond tears will rise up and adorn the sky beside me when I go

I love you. The ache of missing you is immeasurable. Yes, I’m greedy. I can hear you laughing at this. But there is no handbook on how to cope when you lose a best friend. And, the hole of my daily life of not talking to you is a unfathonable. 

You have been a best friend for 20 years. I am so grateful to have shared our journeys in life together.

When we first met working at NIH, I was mesmerized by you. Working together was such an honor, you taught me so much. Not to mention we made one hell of a team. You taught me how to ask for things and not be shy. You taught me how to not give a 🤬 when things didn’t really matter. You taught me persistence. You can multitask like nobody’s business, and to top it off, you made it look easy. You are a fierce female. You are a powerhouse. You are beautiful. I have always had the upmost respect for you. 

One of the best days of our time together at NIH was when I was trying to protect you from Shelly‘s candy bowl. And she when she refused to take it out of the hallway, I stole her shoes when she walked out of her office. I remember we were bent over in laughter while she walked around yelling barefoot looking for her shoes. We always had each others back. Protected each other.

These are the moments I treasure. The moments that still bring a smile to my face.

I don’t think a day will go by that I don’t think about you.

You have always given me the best advice. Even when the truth hurt. You’ve always had my back. You are unwavering. You are loyal. You have been there when I needed you. Our friendship has always been unconditional. You are a rock. Strong and steady. Without hesitation. You told me to never settle. That I am worth more. That I am enough.

I will forever treasure my most recent travels with you. From buying our matching tennis shoes in Nemacolin. Eating whatever we wanted. Binging on chocolate in huge beds while binging on Netflix. Rolling the windows down and breathing in the mountain air. Listening to tunes. Laughing. Bopping around. Talking about Buddhism. Strolling around little desert towns and buying desserts. Eating pancakes for lunch. Because we can.

Then, not too long ago, heading out on a road trip through New Hampshire, New York and Vermont. I knew it would be our last trip together. I love how you like nice hotels. I have always felt like royalty traveling with you. You have always spoiled me. Laughing about how close you sit to the steering wheel, breathing in the beauty of the crisp cold air while cranking up the radio and dancing in the car. Watching you eat Ben & Jerry’s ice cream in Vermont. Always on a mission. Then, discovering the Ausible Chasm in upstate New York. We were in awe when we saw it. How could neither of us have known it was a literal crack in the earth’s surface? We laughed at this. Then stopped in a store and found a Moroccan bag. 🤬, you loved that bag. We even named it Ausible. You pranced down the road so excited with your new bag. That moment was so happy. Your smile is so beautiful. The sun that day was bright. And, we walked to the Vermont State House, on a mission, looking for Bernie. 
Perfect day.  

I want to scream. I want to pound my fists. It’s not fair. This is cruel. I 🤬 hate it. I hate to have watched you go through such torture over two years. Dropping you off at chemo, sobbing together, discussing last wishes. My heart is broken. But you. Tootles, you fought through it all. And you kept fighting. You’re so fierce. I’ve always envied this. You told me I’m the same as you. You say we are two peas in a pod. We think, and we act, so similarly. But you are so much more.

We talked the other day about me joining Foundry again. We loved this workout after a long work day. We cheered each other on. God, I miss you terribly. I miss your support. I miss you next to me. Who else is going to leave class early and go get Starbucks and 🤬 about men? Who else am I going to talk? You know I’m greedy, you know it's all about me. I miss our countless walks together, the yoga sessions we did. The dinners. The desserts. The pastries. The chocolates. 

I know. I know. I’m so greedy. But what am I supposed to do without my best friend? My tootles.

I walked in your house today and I sat in each room. I talked to you. Even though you weren’t there. I cried with you. I laughed with you. I laid on the couch we bought together and I crawled up in your favorite spot and wrapped your fuzzy blanket around me. I went upstairs. I sat in your closet. I put your flannel shirt on. 

I promise, I will take you everywhere with me.  I will take you with me to eat Indian food. I will eat croissants in your honor. I will take you with me on our long walks. I will take you with me every time I enter Foundry. I will take you with me during every last yoga class. I will take you on my travels. I promise to continue to let your spirit live and carry your legacy on.  I promise to tell Nate every last story. I promise to carry your memory. You are forever in my heart. You are forever my beautiful tootle fish. 

I love you. I love you. I love you. 

From your little tootle bug and best friend forever. 

Mabel

Life is full of twists and surprises; our family was spread through many countries and yet the pieces have found each other.  I still have not met you in person, but I did get to know you through Facebook, and we even exchanged some messages now and then.  Most of all, I have met you through the love of your parents and siblings, so I feel like I truly know you. 

I am in awe of the person you are and the great strength and courage you have shown since I have known you.  I love the eloquence and sincerity when you write.  It must have been so hard to put your feelings into words, yet you did. Your words have touched me, and I am sure they have also been a gift to everyone.  Thank you.

I love you and your family so dearly.  

One of the most memorable moments with you was when we were in the car together and it was raining buckets. You stopped the car when you saw woman who was getting rained on. She was asking for help with a sign snd you kindly gave her an umbrella and some money. You have always lead with your heart and  have helped countless people throughout your life. I think back to the countless times that you have helped others get jobs, inspire them for greatness, and even helped restaurants survive by talking about them on Facebook and social media. You have given loans to people who are in need and have always looked out for everyone else. You have shown and exhibited love and kindness,especially to those who are feeling hopeless and somehow, you have always managed to give them hope. You will always be remembered by these people, your family, and your friends for your caring and helpful nature. You are very special and we all love you so much.

I will also never forget our trips abroad. You asked if I wanted to go with you on your business trips and I asked “are you sure you want to go with your old mother?” You laughed and said “of course!” We always have fun together.  We ate our way through France, Sweden, Germany and Switzerland! We walked for miles and had a wonderful time. I will never forget how I loved being with you on these trips I also will never forget our trips to New York City. We ate well and walked for miles just to get chocolate chip cookies that we were supposed to be the best in the United States. Needles to say they were not! I fondly remember walking across the Brooklyn Bridge with you and going to the Woman’s  March in DC ! It was one of those life defining moments. It was so inspiring to see all of the women who felt as we did ! We were trying to change the world and get rid of all the hate and fill it with love. 

I couldn’t be more proud of the woman you have become.  It has always brought me great joy to witness your many successes. You have not only been extremely successful academically, but professionally as well.  It has always been wonderful to see how you navigated and continued to progress in your career and most recently starting your own business has left me with such inspiration for what you have accomplished while battling  cancer 

As a mother, I admire how great of a relationship you have with your son. It is apparent that you have given him many tools that he will be able to utilize for his own future success. Nate loves you so very much and we know he will carry you close to his heart always! Know also, that he is very much apart of our family! We will always watch out for him. We love him !

Over the past few years, you have been the central figure that has brought our family closer together. You, Jenny, and Matthew have been a team that has fought this terrible cancer together! You are all warriors! We all love you so much and will keep your memory alive! We will never forget the wonderful and caring person you are🧡!

 

You have been my very best friend for 45 years and you are always present in my life, even though we have lived many miles apart for most of it. I think of you all the time, sending pictures when I see a delicious bakery item (or a disgusting one that no one should order), sharing a story over text when something great happens, like unexpectedly getting a discount or a free dessert, laughing to myself in certain scenarios, imagining how you and I would react if we were together, or just thinking of you when I’m eating Indian or Ethiopian food. We became best friends when we were two years old, and when you left Peoria when we were 10 or 11, I was devastated, but our bond has never broken. Though we have been separated by thousands of miles, I am so happy that we have managed to see each other as often as we have for all of these years. We have traveled everywhere: driving through the desert from Las Vegas to Sedona to L.A. (via Needles), visiting Boston, New York, Santa Fe (you took such great care of me when I had food poisoning; the sorbet was the best), Quebec (where our food items at the buffet were weighed in grams), Atlanta (we became famous on CNN), Cuba, and Paris. 

 

We have so many fun memories, too many to name, but some that always make us laugh include the delivery of the full-sized chocolate cake to our hotel room in Boston, just because they had no chocolate left during the happy hour reception and we shared our sadness with the front desk staff, calling people from our Bradley dorm room to tell them that we were conducting a survey on behalf of the APA (the P didn’t stand for “psychological”), walking 5 miles in Paris to eat at the famous falafel place only to find they had just closed for Shabbat, throwing rocks on the roof and stealing poster puddy off the posters hanging on the wall at the temple during Hebrew school, and reminiscing about our dancing days – we were the best in our classes, always placed front and center in our recitals, though you looked the best in the pink tutu while I had to wear blue. We have laughed, and many times, behaved, like kids throughout our teens, 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s, singing songs about pets, reciting lines from Best in Show, and calling Papa John’s to order a pizza with pepperoni and aaaaaahhhh (caller ID ruined our fun). 

 

I will always think about our times together and laugh, and I count myself lucky to have a best friend like you. You are beautiful inside and out, and your intelligence, humor, and the kindness you show to others are unmatched. When people interact with you, they are visibly more cheerful after having done so. You can engage anyone in conversation, and I have always loved watching how people open up to you. When we were kids, my mom always told people that talking to you was like talking to an adult, and the adults loved talking to you at birthday parties and events. You truly have a gift for communicating. I admire how much you’ve accomplished in your life personally and professionally, and seeing how Nate has matured into a bright, insightful, and funny young man has been amazing. 

 

Pen, I can’t imagine life without you. You’re my best friend, you’re like the sister I never had, and your family is my second family. Let me conclude with a hymn that we have enjoyed for many years: Pen ni ni ni ni ni ni ni ni ni ni niiiiiii. I will think about you everyday, and I can’t wait until we see each other again, with Ponch. I love you, Nos. 

💗Mandy (aka Nos, Gali, Pen, Rios)

Fact: I never really realized how much I was like you until we started getting closer.  And I don’t just mean our love for Popeyes chicken sandwiches and REM music.  We both have a massive hatred for dumb people.  A complete need for shenanigans.  And such passion for food.  

Fact : I have so much admiration for you. How does one go from getting laid off by a 🤬 🤬 company while fighting  stage 4 cancer with toxic chemicals injected into your body, with tumors growing…and somehow manage to find the strength courage and tenacity to start their own business.  Who does that 🤬? 

Fact : It’s Hard to see you in so much pain, but it makes the good moments so strikingly amazing. Words can’t express The feeling I get when u and Jenny can dance for a few minutes or when we laugh about crazy experiences and any of the pranks we play on mom.   ( sorry mom ) 

Fact: We are both so impatient 

Fact :The girls and I Love the random 🤬 you send 

Fact : I love how we transition from super serious conversation to the dumbest of things and back within seconds like it’s normal. 
Fact: Eli’s crinkled nose and growling is the best video I have ever seen 

Deep thoughts.  Is it wrong when certain family members try and be serious we bust out laughing? 

Some random lyrics and thoughts 

From REM 

I will try not to breathe
I can hold my head still with my hands at my knees
These eyes are the eyes of the old, shiver and fold

I will try not to breathe
This decision is mine
I have lived a full life
And these are the eyes that I want you to remember

The only thing that will go with you, that you actually earned here is the love you shared, the compassion you showed, the humbleness, your gratitude, your helpfulness, your kindness. 

That is the legacy you will leave here that everyone will follow. 

 Words will never be able to express how much I and our family loves you.  

I learned early on I couldn’t get certain things by you when I ate what I considered to be a small amount of pancake from your plate while you were briefly away from the table, and you immediately noticed the missing pancake upon your return. 

I remember when our freezer was full of frozen dessert rolls (“logs”) after you found a place online where we could order them in bulk. Who ate more of them? I think I did, but you did your best to keep up. We kept the last empty box as a memento but had to remove it from the freezer because we kept thinking we had one more left and then were very disappointed when the box was empty.

I was always amazed at how easily you connected with people, and the secrets they would tell you. 

Thank you for giving me the greatest gift of my life, Nate. I remember when you would pretend to be various characters when you were playing with him, such as an auto mechanic. I had no idea that you could do funny imitations. 

I am so proud of who Nate has become, and the qualities he has gotten from you. 

And finally, I’m so sorry that you’ve had to endure this illness for the past couple of years and that you’re facing the end of your life now. I wish very much that it could be different. 

Howard

It’s hard to believe we met over 10 years ago! It all started back in 2011 when you came back to give a talk to the Bradley University Psychology Department. Our paths have crossed many times since then, and I have come to know you as an amazing role model, mentor, and friend. 

You were always in my corner. I have so many memories of your kindness and support – like when you gave me my first ever internship (which sparked my passion for doing research on employee health and well-being), when you hosted Kevin and I at your house in Maryland during the Women’s March in D. C., when you took us out for pizza at Mellow Mushroom when I was interning at Marriott in Bethesda, and when your family welcomed us into their home in Tampa to help celebrate your father’s 70^th birthday.

I am forever grateful for all of these memories. You have always inspired me, both professionally and personally. I can’t thank you enough for the incredible impact that you have had on my life.

With love,

Stephanie Andel Martyn

Life happened and we grew apart, but I swear I can’t tell you the number of times in the past 30 years that something has struck me as so “Rachel” because it was so smart and funny at the same time.  One of the things I wish for most for my daughters is that they make a few connections with people who touch them in a way like you’ve touched me, someone who they connect with, maybe even for just a short moment in time, that lasts forever.  As I grow older, I realize how precious those connections are. Thank you for sharing your disease honestly and openly.  I am grateful for the few phone calls and texts we’ve had catching up in the past year or two.  But it’s not enough and I am gutted by the cards that you, Nate and your family have been dealt. But I will cherish the memories and remember how lucky I am for the Rachel-isms that you’ve bestowed on me.  Thank you for reminding me not to sweat the small stuff. 
Love you always and forever, Christine 

We talked about my daughter and her career path as she graduated with a neuroscience degree. It was kind of you to offer advice and I thought you would be a terrific mentor for her. I see many of your traits in her and wished there were more opportunities for her to meet you. She is now enrolling into a PhD program and will carry on the strong presence of women in STEM.

As we got to know you, we were touched by your generosity and kindness. We see the bravery and fierceness of your resolve managing your medical treatments and life in a pandemic as a single mother. We wanted to pay it forward by helping with the snow shoveling, mulching, or whatever physical work needed to be done. Obviously, you were never alone. We are glad to be a part of it. Our only regret is that we never got to give you a hug before you left for Florida.

It's not goodbye but until we meet again.

Love Tom & Cindy C

Although we haven't seen each other in person in well over 20 years, it is so difficult for me to imagine a world without you in it. We were close for a relatively short amount of time, but that time was so important to me. As my first “real” relationship, I learned a lot. And I was very fortunate to spend that time with you.

First of all, I appreciate you being so patient with me as a dumb boy. In many ways I'm probably still very much a dumb boy at 50 (as my wife would attest) but I was really extra dumb at 24. At times I was selfish and certainly pretty oblivious, and I'm sure it was a struggle to put up with that. I was not in a place to appreciate that as much 25 years ago, but I certainly do now. 

Second of all, I learned how important family is to a relationship. Your family was so kind to me and I always felt welcome when I was around them. They were (and are) very caring, very intuitive people and I enjoyed the time I spent with them.

And thirdly, I learned so much from you – from the things you were interested in as well as our shared interests. I remember us going to used bookstores and carrying out literally 10+ pounds of books (that I would then have to schlep home on an airplane). In a world where the internet was brand new, that was the way to learn a lot! And it was fun to buy a lot of those books, and read them, and talk about them with you. You were (and are!) so witty, funny, and clever.

While in a pre-internet world we might have totally lost touch, we've at least continued a small connection over the years and I'm thankful for that. 

Ultimately – I know I am better for having shared those times and experiences with you, both good and less good. I hope that you feel the same way. 

I wish for so many blessings for you, for Nate and for your entire family.

With much love,

Carter

We both left NCI for other NIH institutes.  I left there for a job with NIH/Office of the Director at the Rockledge I building on Rockledge Drive in Bethesda, and just a few weeks later, she also left and got a job, I think at the National Heart Lung and Blood Institute of NIH, at Rockledge II, the building next to mine.  She invited me to her weekly yoga classes there, and I enjoyed attending them.  After maybe less than a year there, she left, and unfortunately I didn’t see her again for around 10 years.  

I noticed a post on the NextDoor app from her, and it said she was living in the same neighborhood!  I contacted her, and we discovered we’re living only about 5 houses away from each other on the same street!

We went walking together a few times, and as usual she has been bringing me gifts of hand lotion, cosmetics, meals, fresh homemade challah, soup, and amazing desserts.

One time, around 2019, I saw an ambulance pull up in front of her house.  I ran over and heard that Rachel was having a really bad migraine.  I know how awful migraines are sometimes.  I “babysat” Nate while she went to the ER.  I think that’s the only time I got to meet Nate, but maybe he’ll remember me.

I’ve tried to help a little with yard work and shoveling snow recently, but I wish I could do more so she doesn’t have to go through this tough time.  Rachel is such a generous person.  She truly enjoys giving to people.

Rachel is such a great writer, and so open about her experiences.  I told her that I hope her blog can be made into a book, like my friend Jen Coken recently did.  She said it was fairly easy, too - there’s an app for that.  Jen wrote a bestselling book about how her mother’s ovarian cancer had been misdiagnosed for one year until it was too late, and she passed away.  Her book is lighthearted and funny, and her goal is to educate women about fighting for additional testing and a diagnosis even if their doctor doesn’t think it’s necessary.  Jen’s book is now being made into a movie in Hollywood!  This might be a good way for Rachel to spread the message of colon cancer awareness - and to help a LOT of people.

I think being with Nate is her favorite thing in the world, and is the reason why she has fought so hard to be around as long as possible.  Rachel, family, and Mandy, you’re all awesome!

Love,

Janice Solomon

I’ve been following your tough journey in the last two years on FB where I’ve always been reading you with great pleasure and admiration. I like the way you write and tell your views and stories with great finesse, intelligence and humor. 
Your latest posts on your blog obviously broke my heart, as if you had become a close friend over the past months.

We unfortunately never got the chance to meet in person, but I felt some proximity with you since our very first exchange at Sodexo.

We are the same age, your son Nate is between my two sons (Alexandre and Antonin, respectively 18 and 14) and we both “had to leave” Sodexo during summer 2020… 
A few years ago, as I was looking for a nice American host family for my oldest son, we considered doing a teenager exchange with Nate, remember ?

I always hoped I could welcome you at home in Paris but as this will never happen, I would like to make you a proposition: please forward my contact details to your ex-husband (and also to your dear sister), so that Nate can be warmly welcomed in France whenever he feels like coming for visit or study. It would really be an honor and pleasure for me to welcome him at home, and get closer to you through him ;-)

Life is so 🤬 unfair and the idea of your precious life coming soon to an end is kind of inacceptable. But you now know how much your too short life has been incredibly fruitful and has positively impacted so many people’s life ! This is impressive.

I wish you much peace and shared joy in the weeks and months to come, as little pain as possible, and I send you TONS of love,

Hélène Guitton

Middle school was a funny and fragile time, but amidst all of it, you were a delightful breath of fresh air: someone who was smart, kind, witty, and always hilarious. We may have lost touch but I will always remember you as my other half during those tenuous years. You introduced me to many things: A Fifth of Beethoven on your record player, Jewish prayers (Baruch ata Adenoi anyone?), Les Mis, the Club MTV concert with downtown Julie Brown and Milli Vanilli (!). We were also partners in crime in school. I distinctly remember singing a synopsis of The Song of Roland to the tune of “I Think We’re Alone Now” for Mr. Kalb’s English class. What were we thinking? And “How are you, Ms. Fondong Blue”? I still sing it to this day! 

While I have never met Nate, I am confident that he has inherited your strength and boldness and intelligence and resilience. He is lucky to have you as his mom. You are a true force and I’m happy we could share an important part of our lives together. 

Love to you and your family,
Nita 

Dear Rachel, I would like to thank you for allowing me to be your friend, for letting me in your journey to fight against this monster of cancer. By sharing your vulnerability, you demonstrate great courage, amazing strength, and fierce determination. 
I was extremely impressed to see you start your own company in the midst of those killer therapies, I was so truly inspired when you gave a workout class (through Zoom) in between your rounds of chemotherapy, I was touched to read about your pains and sufferings due to the side effects of the drugs. 
I admire your courage, your honesty, and your frankness. I think about you everyday and pray that you find strength and peace. Please do know that you are loved and that I (among many other people) do care about you a lot. 

Mostly I remember and cherish the many long conversations, sometimes about important topics, sometimes about nothing at all, sometimes both.  Your fabulous sense of humor that I connected with so easily.  Though we haven’t seen each other in a long time, you will always have a place in my heart.

With love,

John/Juan

You have been on my mind and heart as you have faced this difficult, horrible journey.  As probably one of your older friends, I shake my head and repeat, “too young”.

My first memories of are when our boys were in two-year preschool at ECDC.  I as aghast as Chance was biting Nate!!  Why??!!  My shock was how could my son do such a thing?  Your response was  kind and gracious and focused on helping our boys become friends.  And they were for a short time but all of us went our different ways in kindergarten.  I kept up a bit with you as I saw Nate’s grandmother at the lifetime gym.  And speaking of that…you encouraged me to attend a yoga class with you, and our boys could stay in the childcare center at Lifetime.  That was 2009.  I joined the gym soon thereafter and am still a member.  It has been a life-line for me and for Bob.  Even Chance is working out there!  By the way, he has played hockey since he was about 5 and is still taking violin. And he has not bit anyone since he finally stopped attacking Nate! 

If you want to see him playing violin, check out his teacher’s YouTube site Top40Strings, (Michelle Lau-You may have to add her name in your search to get to the right site). She posted some videos of an ensemble of kids playing various songs -together! It helped to work on these during the pandemic. 

 

I was slightly sad when you left NHLBI.  You were brilliant, creative, and had way more energy that I ever had!   You were my fun friend and I respected the courage and commitment to your decision to build and shape your career.  You even started a business during all this crazy time.

I just want you to know, I have loved and respected you from afar.  I know I am not in your inner circle, but I even loved being a peripheral friend.

You deserve all the love and attention those close to you have given.  I am so sorry you will miss some milestones in Nate’s life.  But you have given him so much.  He will love you for his entire life. 

 

I wish you peace.  I respect your honesty and again, as an older friend, I have fears, too.  In a conversation with Chance the other day, he was projecting out 20 years.  Bob and I together said, we won’t be here in 20 years!  That makes me sad but my girls will have to take over.  And he has a great relationship with them. 

Dearest Rachael, know that you are loved now and will be in eternity.  And, yes, it is way too soon.  

Much, much love,

 

Rosemary

Admittedly, I’ve been struggling to write this post. It’s been a lot harder than I anticipated. We may not be family and I’ve only known you a year, but I’m deeply upset and incredibly sad to see you go. It’s so unfair. Anyway, here’s some stuff I think you might like to know. 

1. Stumbling onto your LinkedIn posting last summer changed my life. You’ve helped me develop new skills and expand my interests; that feels big to me. If it weren’t for you, I don't think I'd be working as a Legal Intern this summer. I’ll be continuing within EBSC's areas of expertise at a law firm that focuses on consumer protections cases against irresponsible and unethical food, cosmetic, insurance, and pharmaceutical companies. Our work together has and will continue to motivate me on my career journey.

2. As you’ve told me yourself, good bosses are hard to come by and you are one of, if not the best I’ll ever have. Your authenticity, honesty, generosity, and compassion (for yourself and others) are exemplary. The way you lead, calmly growing and adapting to the challenges you encounter, nurtures the people around you and makes us better for it. I could go on and on about the ways I want to be more like you. 

3. I remember early in the summer when I was still trying to figure out what kind of boss you were going to be. I gently gave some feedback on our website, then followed up with a more overt criticism, sort of testing the limits, and you laughed. You said something like, “I’m glad you aren’t afraid to speak up even though you’re inexperienced. When I was your age, I wasn’t like that. Just be careful, other people who are more experienced than you might be threatened or think you’re arrogant.” I’m not exactly sure why that moment stuck with me, but it’s ought to be in part because I, like you, have been known for my assertive communication, which isn’t always appreciated from women in business. You’ve taught me about hard work and determination, but also showed me that it’s ok to cut out the BS and make decisions that make life easier.

4. I remember when you found out I had a boyfriend of 3 years. You were shocked that you didn’t know and demanded pictures, which was so funny to me. Something about me keeping “the goods” to myself lol. I thought maybe you were getting bolder as time went on with your diagnosis, but that doesn’t seem quite right; you’ve been a quirky, friendly, shameless boss since I met you! I think it just took me a while to trust that my boss could be a friend too. Anyway, I thought about it for a few days and then told my boyfriend I was sending some pictures of him to my boss, “She has cancer so she get’s whatever she wants and apparently it’s you!” I was flattered that you said he was cute… he was too.

5. I’ve loved working with you and I have so much more to learn from you. I’m sure I’ll be asking myself “What would Rachel do?” for the rest of my career, and I think that will serve me well, for big decisions and everyday reminders… like getting back to emails in a timely fashion.

6. I’m going to miss you… a lot. I consider you a friend and a mentor, not just a boss. I’ve got my “meep” on my desk.

This post in no way feels like it’s enough, but I don’t think “enough” is attainable in these circumstances. I guess I hope that you’ll rest even just a little easier knowing these six things. All my love to you and your family.

– Celena CT

The time we spent driving around in your parents’ minivan, slowing down to check out certain addresses, going for runs so we could have chance encounters with our crushes, cooking, making Bernie Shullman runs for frozen yogurt, listening to music and watching movies, trying to keep Licky from licking me, and all of the other crazy fun adventures made senior year a blast and high school a time I cherish. 

You had a confidence that was contagious and you lifted us all up. Your sense of humor was creative and wicked. And your intelligence was off the charts!! I know that I would NEVER have passed that AP Calculus exam (or class!!) if I didn’t have you baby-stepping me through it. To this day, I think of you as my real Prom date; I’m so glad we went together! “Never gonna get it!” 

I went through my scrapbook for some pictures of our adventures and found a letter that you wrote to me on the last night before we went off to our colleges. It highlighted happy memories and recounted our  top 20 moments together. Among them: midnight talks on my porch imagining our husbands out in the world somewhere; Loewman’s $1.50 movies x 50; self-confidence talks; your amazing talent show performance; and so many others. You went on to give me a pep talk about college and courage, confidence, smarts and having our pick of the nice, good-looking guys once we got there. You signed it, “Rachel the Great”

Yep, that’s about right! You were then, and still are Rachel the Great…Beautiful, brave, hilarious, bold, smart, and kind. You have always had a special spark that makes you larger than life and draws those who take the time to watch and listen, towards you, where you light them up with humor, creativity, courage, and friendship.

I am so grateful for our time together. You helped me become stronger, more confident, happier and sillier…all traits I am now instilling in my children. I loved our times together and cherish and love you Rachel!
💕Amanda

I’m sorry to hear you’ve reached the Kobayashi Maru. You are courageous and brilliant, both in your achievements and in life. 

Nate is lucky to have you as a model for what women can be:  strong, wise, beautiful, and compassionate. And he is lucky to have your family as a model of what a family can be:  those people who will be in your corner, no matter the circumstances. All of you show him the Permuth that is in him: bravery, intelligence, and resilience.

 

I think of you as a student, but also a teacher. I presume you probably have been in both roles, simultaneously, your entire life. You are learning now, but you’re also teaching us how to respond to an un-winnable test and to walk through that doorway, into the next room.  Thank you Rachel.