Thanks for sharing your story, it is important that you say what you feel, my advice to you is as follows:
you can start by being more sociable, As you are from another country, it may be more difficult for you. You are in a totally different nation, culture, language, customs, meals among other things. You can also start going to places where there are many people, so that you interact, have fun, know important places.
you should not be alone,, so you do not get depressed.
You could also try to find a better job on digital platforms, which is easier to apply and enter.
If you take my advice in the future you will be able to enjoy with your new friends and enjoy life.

You are on a determining time in your life, you can’t let your feelings blind your view to the treasure you have in front, can you please look at your children when they get to your house before school? They will be extremely grateful with you for your effort and the love you’ve showed them all of these years, you should look at the as your power source, the energy that will help you overcome the difficult time in life. I have a question for you, How do you treat yourself? Can you tell in a two digits number how often have you gone to gym or doing exercise at home in the past month? You should pay special attention to the protagonist of your life. You should also look around the problem you have, there are many reasons to be happy, you could call your acquaintances and interact with them and ask if they would like to go out to eat something near of your neighborhood, you should organize a movie afternoon at home, something close, something natural that let you remember your social life. As you’re entering your 40’s, you should try to see a doctor just to check if there’s something wrong with your health as general, you should change your food habits, you can also try to experience new things like going to social events or even organize them, don’t enter an anxiety circle, you can focus your eyes on the important and let the bad feelings out of the house.

Please let us know about you soon.

Bye!

Beside you should also look for a partner who is your mate and you should tell him to help you think about the many ways in which this case could ends. But what if I can tell you is about you  must to think  a lot before telling her the situation and find an immediate solution to this problem, in fact  you to show what you really are and so this episode can have a happy ending.

I think you should stop remembering your father's past

I recommend you should get a woman of good feelings with whom can share a good long life and reach old age accompanied.  you must strive to be a better person every day and create your own family, you should look for a woman of good habits that comes from a stable family

I also recommend changing reading habits and reading good books such as perfect marriage and fundamental education and watch good movies with your partner like fireproof. you should visit the church and you have to relate with people of good heart and learn from them you can meet good women there

He may have been a womanizer, but it does not mean you are going to become a womanizing man. you will be better only if you want it, trust and responsibility to take on your own actions. but to take the first step you would have to start expressing your feelings

You can act differently and show your family that true love exists and that it must be built with communication, patience and trust.

 

thank you