https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb Made with swagger en-us 2019-02-11 15:24:48 UTC 2019-02-13 16:37:46 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330876273 The writer does not connect any evidence to a claim because there is no claim shown in the beginning. The writer should make a claim that can be connected to the evidence and the summary.
S.L.]]> 2019-02-13 16:08:01 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330876273 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330876944 The claim isn’t stated in the paragraph if they added the claim before the first sentence the paragraph would flow better. the evidence is weak so I think she could add an intro to the evidence so it could impact her writing more. Her analysis was okay but if she talked about how her personalities are different around different people]]> 2019-02-13 16:09:03 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330876944 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330877068 The claim is a bit lengthy and could use less of the details on her behavior around people, save it for the analysis and state more so how her behavior connects with the question. At the end it’s good to restate the claim aswell ]]> 2019-02-13 16:09:14 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330877068 2280007 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330879103 This student has a strong idea, but is missing a claim. I believe the student should add a claim about how Bianca’s behavior changes in public and private situations.  ]]> 2019-02-13 16:12:22 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330879103 2280119 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330880029 I think she can shorten the claim a bit like taking out how she starts acting after. You’re giving more of a summary then saying Bianca is a girl who has manners around others. ]]> 2019-02-13 16:13:37 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330880029 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330884037 The points for the claim keep changing, so I cannot tell which point you are talking about. The claim is not there, so the readers don’t know which points she’s referring too. ]]> 2019-02-13 16:19:29 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330884037 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330884330 The grammar is not fluent, and the analysis is confusing with the quote]]> 2019-02-13 16:19:59 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330884330 2280157 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330885059 The student does not have a good claim. There is not really strong evidence shown in the sample. E.A.K]]> 2019-02-13 16:21:03 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330885059 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330888900 It’s very confusing and it contradicts itself first it says she is confident then it says she is cocky. The claim is wrong too cause she does feel confident around her father but she doesn’t get cocky.]]> 2019-02-13 16:27:02 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330888900 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330889100 The claim in the beggining doesn’t make much sense. Maybe clear it up by saying she acts one way around some and a different way story around others. I agree with your description of how she acts around her father and Katherine, but it’s not relevant in this paragraph, so I would delete that part. When describing Bianca’s words, you say that she is cocky, which gives the analysis a negative connotation. If that’s what you want, then good job. If not, you can say she’s strong willed.
(Counter argument: Bianca does obey societal rules because she tells the lower class (her tutors) what to do.)]]> 2019-02-13 16:27:22 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330889100 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330889369 The claim is to descriptive. It is unclear on what the writer specifically is talking about. This makes the evidence not that strong because the reader is unclear in what he/ she is supposed to be reading. -Amina ]]> 2019-02-13 16:27:48 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330889369 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330890242 The analysis is confusing kinda and grammar is not fluent. AD]]> 2019-02-13 16:29:04 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330890242 2280145 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330890587 There is no claim. I also see as if there is an error within the first sentence. The writer starts off with saying she uses manners with people she doesn’t know fully, but then goes on to say that she shows her trueself  with people she has gotten to know, however not her sister or father. I think you may be trying to prove the point of Bianca having two personalities, but it’s much clearer in the end. Try putting your claim of Bianca being different with friends in the beginning to fix the organization.]]> 2019-02-13 16:29:35 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330890587 2280474 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330892739 The person writing this explains what they are trying to say without explaining it correctly. They state the opposite of what they are trying to say and never fully connect their evidence to their claim. If they connected their reasoning to their evidence and further explained the fact that bianca showed who she truly was then they should also find better word choice and state both sides of who bianca is.]]> 2019-02-13 16:32:59 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330892739 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330892869 If feel like the claim was weak and like they said one thing but wrote something else. She also explains it in like a weird way by calling her cocky and saying how she camouflage like she could’ve changed her word choice. ]]> 2019-02-13 16:33:12 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330892869 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330892919 The claim is to descriptive and unclear. The information is choppy and doesn’t not give a clear viewpoint. The student does not explain or give examples on how Bianca acts differently with other men and her tutors.
Nicole]]> 2019-02-13 16:33:16 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330892919 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330893265 The claim of the paragraph is too long and focus on multiple things at once instead of just one. It can be shortened down to one sentence by separating the beginning one. The evidence does go with what the claim is explains how Bianca actually acts around other people. Overall, there is too many ideas being introduced so the student just focus on topic. -Fernanda]]> 2019-02-13 16:33:47 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330893265 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330894241 There isn’t a claim and focus on to many things at once]]> 2019-02-13 16:35:18 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330894241 2280381 https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330894781 The claim or just the beginning of the paragraph started of very wrong. It starts to go in depth with evidence in the same sentence as the claim which is very wrong. The claim is not very strong and kinda misleading. The grammar is also an issue with a lowercase letter at the beginning of a sentence. ]]> 2019-02-13 16:36:08 UTC https://padlet.com/friesemal/bu5mp1uajwrb/wish/330894781