Persuasive Body Paragraphs by Brittni Branton https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc Explain if this is a 1, 2, 3, or 4 body paragraph. Write one comment of something the writer did well, and write one comment of something the writer could improve on. en-us 2019-01-22 09:03:37 UTC 2024-12-11 05:21:36 UTC hello@padlet.com The paragraph was full of examples and had lots ideas for the reader to think about. It was written nicely and explained in depth about the problem. 21beisert_hannah https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884022 2019-01-22 09:03:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884022 4 https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884023 They had many great details in their body paragraphs and had great persuasive evidences to back up their arguments. Misspelled some words in their writing. ]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884023 4 https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884024 This essay certainly deserves a 4, due to its excellent development and explanation of its ideas, as well as how well it is written with upper-level vocabulary. It still could use more depth when the author describes their experiences, and for that I would recommend more detail and descriptive words.  ]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884024 Feedback 21loomis_annie https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884025 I give this a 4 because I love their use of examples and logical thinking they also didn't use baby words. I would have them fix maybe the wording of a few of their sentences because they might confuse people. ]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884025 4 21taing_matthew https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884026 The writer gave an amazing amount of evidence, it was very convincing. There is nothing I can see that could have improved it even more.]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884026 bknebel https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884027 2019-01-22 09:03:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884027 Keaton Altman https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884032 The writer did well explaining about the 2d and 3d transformation. The writer could improve her two body paragraphs because it sounds like both paragraphs are sort of the same.]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884032 3 21mahlmann_grant https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884033 Positive: Great Ideas and details.
Fix: Needs to get a different supporting argument for the 2nd paragraph because the 1st and the 2nd have the same supporting details. Make more bullet points for ideas. ]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884033 Overall Grade https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884034 I give this essay a 2.
Positive: They used examples from the real world
Suggestion: There are not two clear main ideas. So, establish clear evidence and make two clear main ideas.]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884034 4 21smith_brenson https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884035 It was very convincing and not many suggestion except maybe using more rhetoric appeals.]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884035 2 21pieper_victoria https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884037 The idea is fully developed.
There doesn't seem to be two separate ones. It just looks to be about art]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884037 2 21bean_emily https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884038 Positive : Ideas are well developed
Improvement : Both ideas are very similar, make the second one more unique to the first]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884038 3 21cruz_joshua https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884039 Great structure and elaboration! Make sure to have completely different main Ideas that are not connected  ]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884039 bknebel https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884040 2019-01-22 09:03:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884040 bknebel https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884179 2019-01-22 09:03:44 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884179 bknebel https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884334 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884334 https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884335 This essay is a 1. They put first hand accounts on the topic. I would suggest to fix the thesis being not fully developed, baby words used, it is not engaging, grammar underdevelopment, and the ideas are hard to follow. ]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884335 I would give this essay a one because it does not mention anything about being technology stifling creativity and instead focuses on entertainment. The anecdotes are nice to read though. 21chen_annie https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884337 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884337 Didn't go into depth on how tech killed originality. Incorrect use of "their". Second paragraph does not pertain to how technology kills creativity. 21roehling_braden https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884338 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884338 2 https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884339 Slightly confusing going back and forth. There is also fluff and dead words which gives the essay less quality.]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884339 Sample 21nguyen_tina https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884341 Sample 1 contains incomplete thoughts and sentences. They used the wrong homophones for words such as "their" and "there". The writer didn't use correct grammar. The compound and complex sentences that they tried to make did not contain commas. I would give this passage a 1 or 2. 
A positive point is that they did stay on one side of the argument ]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884341 This essay is a 1 because they did not have their second supporting detail and the grammar was incorrect. The author can improve this by adding their second reasoning and improve the first paragraph 21tuckerroach_malach https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884342 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884342 I would say this is a 1 because they were unclear and it was unconvincing. But the did give some good sentences about technology deriving originality.Next time they should be clear and be more persuavie . 21salazarmanzano_nat https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884343 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884343 1 21cruz_joshua https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884344 They had good anecdotal evidence. They just needed to finish all their thoughts through the paper this includes (grammar , and connected evidence to argument)]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884344 2 21flisowski_kaitlin https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884345 The development was not that bad and the idea was there. But it was minimally developed, I believe there is more room for development in the idea.]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884345 1 - The development of their ideas do support the thesis. It's a good thing that they put an experience of their life. Overall, this is a great start, I would just change up a few words to more "professional" type words. 21duenas_dominic https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884346 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884346 1 21justice_jill https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884347 They did a good job using anecdotal evidence, but they failed to develop their ideas thoroughly ]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884347 2 21taing_matthew https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884348 The writer did well with adding examples to support their side. The writer could improve on getting even deeper into their side, it does not seem like their paragraphs were completely thought out as much as it could have been.]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884348 21balakwit_jeb https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884349 2.This author's thesis did not make sense.She said that technology is deriving originality which is a positive thing to say about technology, but she goes on to say that technology is not helpful and makes originality obsolete.]]> 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884349 bknebel https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884350 2019-01-22 09:03:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bknebel/bu37vpd3tedc/wish/322884350