English 201-803 Proofreading Padlet by Michelle Felix https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr This is where you will post your work about correcting errors that you have in your narration and description essays. To create a new post, select the plus sign in the lower right corner of the Padlet or double click on the Padlet. en-us 2017-10-16 18:26:33 UTC 2017-11-02 17:23:44 UTC hello@padlet.com N&D Proofreading: Comma Splices https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199224918 Hi, I am Nomi Nag. The error I most commonly made on the Narration and Description Essay were comma splices. I researched comma splices on the UW-Madison Writing Center and on the Purdue OWL. I was making the error of inappropriately joining two independent clauses. I also did not add a coordinating conjunction after the comma. The easiest way to fix these comma splices in by replacing the incorrect comma with a period or a semicolon. Otherwise, you have the option for re-writing the sentence altogether. Here are some examples of when I made the error of comma splicing followed by their corrected versions.

Comma Splice:
He’s been sober for five months, how would he end up in a hospital?

Correction:
He’s been sober for five months. How would he end up in a hospital?

Comma Splice:
No one aspires to be a heroin addict, I guess you just get to a point where you can’t live with it and you can’t live without it.

Correction:
No one aspires to a be a heroin addict. I guess you just get to the point where you can’t live with it and you can’t live without it.

Here are the links to my sources:

https://writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/CommonErrors_CommaSplice.html

https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/1/34/
]]> 2017-10-20 22:55:39 UTC https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199224918 N&D PROOFREADING fishersn https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199229997 I did a horrible job on my narration and description essay!! I made many mistakes on my essay, mainly not following the syllabus guidelines nor the example on page 633 in the models book.  I'm still not totally sure how to follow the guidelines to create a great essay.  I will admit when I wrote my N&D essay I was clueless and just followed or mimicked a story that I liked using my own words; it needs to be rewritten. Along with just winging my essay, I had run on sentences, and many punctuation errors.  In my essay it was not even clear where or what my thesis is. All in all I will continue to push my way into getting a clear understanding and execution of a good essay.  I hope all this is just due to my brain being in my uterus... I will be delivering in the next seven days, please pray for us.
     

]]> 2017-10-21 00:47:23 UTC https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199229997 Illustration essay https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199378543 Trina Rogers,
Hello, unfortunately I just summited my N&D essay. I made a lot of errors in this essay. Such as punctuation, format, grammar errors. I know I can improve my brainstorming techniques. I can use more words to elaborate my ideal on the said topic. I honestly have to focus on the writing process. I need to focus on semicolons,  and the proper use of some words. Proofreading shows you where you went wrong before you send in a really bad essay.
]]> 2017-10-22 18:18:04 UTC https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199378543 N&D Proofreading jennins3 https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199387733     On my N&D essay I had few errors. I submitted my essay I believe a week late, so I was in a rush to turn it in. The errors that I made were obvious when reading the feedback from my essay. For example,  I added extra spaces that weren't needed and two words. I need to carefully proofread my work before turning it in.  I noticed also that I didn't  have two complete sentences. To prevent this from happening again I have to remember to correctly punctuate my sentences. A complete sentence always begins with a capital letter and end in either a full stop, exclamation or question mark. A complete sentence also always contain a verb, expresses a complete idea, and makes sense standing alone. I looked at a lot of my notes from the spring semester for reference to help me better understand my mistakes I made on the essay and this website http://www.chompchomp.com/terms/completesentence.htm

Example:
Even though she looked like death when I visited her at the hospice. 

This sentence is not a complete sentence and I feel that it's extra information that's not needed. 




]]> 2017-10-22 19:46:34 UTC https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199387733 N&D proofreading https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199403168 Jowie Rosario
When I wrote my essay I knew I would have errors, since I haven't written an essay in years. Didn't think I would have errors on fragments and run-on sentences. These are just a few mistakes I had with my essay, for those who also had these errors here is a link on fragments and run- on sentences and how to understand and correct the error. https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/fragments-and-run-ons/

Fragment error:
Come to find out the reason to the decrease activity of our baby was due to a massive blockage in her intestine.
Which was causing her to lose blood circulation to her body

Correction:
Come to find out the reason to the decrease activity of our baby was due to a massive blockage in her intestine which was causing her to lose blood circulation to her body

Fragment error:
 I hugged her tightly and tried to keep it together for her. Even though it was so very heart breaking to hear all that just now.

Correction:
 I hugged her tightly and tried to keep it together for her, even though it was so very heart breaking to hear all that just now. 
]]> 2017-10-22 22:39:12 UTC https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199403168 N&D Proofreading https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199405851 Emily Martin, 
The error I made in my narrative and descriptive essay was sentence fragments. I recognize that I make this habit in all of my essays. I looked up the rules to sentence fragments in Models to correct the fragment. 

Fragment error: 
The cologne he wore and if the pond was still there
Fragment correction:
I still smell the cologne he wore and wonder if the pond is still there. 

Fragment error:
I can still hear his voice and remember him by it. It's deepness parallels the light pattering of the rain.
Fragment correction:
I can still hear his voice and remember how it's deepness parallels the light pattering of the rain. 

In Models it states that a "sentence fragment is a word group that cannot stand alone as a complete sentence." To correct the fragment I must add on a verb or add a subject or combine two fragments to make a sentence. 

Source: (book) Models for Writers

]]> 2017-10-22 23:10:44 UTC https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199405851 Narration and description https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199416176 Cassidy Gravelle
The most common errors I made in this essay were unnecessary commas and missing/ extra words. Had I spent more time and effort proof reading I could have definitely caught many of those mistakes.
ex: Today​​ was​​ different​​ though,​ because she​ was​ treating​ herself​ before​ going​ out​ with​ friends​ in​ celebration​ her​ recent​ divorce.
Correction: Today was different though because she was treating herself before going out with friends in celebration of her recent divorce.
Error, unnecessary comma: It​ gives​ me​ new​ perspectives​ on​ life,​ and​ every day​ I​ am​ reminded​ to​ be​ grateful​ for​ what​ I​ have,​ and​ to​ keep​ looking​ to​ improve​ for​ my​ future.
Correction, second comma taken out: It gives me new perspectives on life, and every day I am reminded to be grateful for what I have and to keep looking to improve my future.
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/02/


]]> 2017-10-23 00:51:51 UTC https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199416176 Narration and Description. Ashley Jones Each body paragraph covers a lot of different ground rather than focusing on one specific thing clearly. In future essays look carefully at topic sentences and making sure that all following sentences are on that specific topic. https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199432908 My two biggest errors in my N and D essay were one not staying on topic. Trying to cover to much information. I need to work on my brainstorming skills and how to wean my topic down to something more manageable.
I found this article to be helpful http://www.learnnc.org/lp/editions/few/680.
I also use alot of comma slices which I was not aware I did until after this essay.http://www.chompchomp.com/rules/csfsrules.htm I learned A comma splice incorrectly joins two main clauses with a comma, like this:
Main Clause + , + Main Clause =
So I learned to disconnect the two sentences that can stand alone and stop making comma spices.
Example:
I was young, wild and free or so I thought, I had just finished beauty school and
was on a path to be a hairdresser. 
Correction:
I was young, wild and free or so I thought.
 I had just finished beauty school and
was on a path to be a hairdresser. 

Ashley Jones
]]> 2017-10-23 03:06:34 UTC https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/199432908 N&D Proofreading https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/201476378 Trinity Little

After reading the feedback given on my essay, it seems I have an issue with comma splices. To be honest,  I never knew it was considered an error!  I searched through Models for Writers on how to fix the problem. On page 26, they describe a comma splice as "when writers use only a comma to combine two independent clauses." All I need to do to correct the problem is separate the independent clauses into their own sentence, rather than combing them with a comma.

Example from essay:
That wasn't enough for me, my anger and rage had reached its peak.

Correction:
That wasn't enough for me. My anger and rage had reached its peak.

Example from essay:
At the time I felt unsafe, knowing that I had personal
information in my vehicle and that the suspect had a set of my home keys.

Correction:
At the time I felt unsafe. I had personal information in my vehicle. The suspect also had a set of my home keys.

The correction examples in our textbook helped me with my errors. I also read a little bit about comma splices on the Purdue OWL Engagement site (https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/1/34/). I did a few excercises on that site to test my understanding of comma splices. I feel I can easily correct the problem now.]]> 2017-10-29 10:29:56 UTC https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/201476378 N&D Proofreading https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/202004996 Cassalee Housen 
I after reading your feedback, I've noticed that the most errors I make are comma splices. 
Comma splices are similar to run-on sentences because they also incorrectly connect independent clauses. A comma splice occurs when two independent clauses are connected with only a comma. As with a run-on sentence, there are a few different ways to correct a comma splice. Consider the following sentence and the revised versions that follow it. 

Comma Splice: My family bakes together nearly every night, we then get to enjoy everything we make together.
  • Correction 1: My family bakes together nearly every night. We then get to enjoy everything we make together.
The comma splice has been corrected by breaking the sentence into two separate sentences.
  • Correction 2: My family bakes together nearly every night, and we then get to enjoy everything we make together
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/1/34/

]]> 2017-10-31 04:17:34 UTC https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/202004996 N&D Proofreading https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/202776895 Jessica Torres
The error that I made is with my thesis and organization. I know I think a little bit too much and try to shove everything into one part of the essay and then end up repeating myself again later in the essay. The rule for the thesis statement is to state the main idea but I notice I tend to write too much into the thesis or it is not organized. 
THESIS:
"It is usually daughters being the daddy’s girl and the sons being the mamas’ boy. I always wondered if that was just a natural thing or does it depend on certain involvement from each parent " 

Revised Thesis:
Is it natural to be a mamas boy and a daddy girl?]]> 2017-11-02 04:41:53 UTC https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/202776895 Proofreading Padlet for N&D Essay akilahnf https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/203005727 I did fairly well on my N&D essay receiving a B. Most of my errors were fragments, run on sentences and incorrect punctuation. I am a very dramatic person in real life, and when I write out my thoughts its done dramatically as well. I also have a hard time shortening my thoughts. This is the main cause of my inappropriate use of exclamation marks and run on sentences. 
Example 1 from Essay: He had been located in the Dallas area of
Texas for quite some time now, and we had grown accustomed to our making long distance love work. Something was different this trip though!
Revised: He had been located in the Dallas area of Texas for quite some time now, and we had grown accustomed to our making long distance love work. Something was however very different about this trip.
https://www.grammarly.com/blog/avoiding-exclamation-point-overuse/
On this sight I learned to reduce the use of explanation marks by using words to relay the impact of my delivery. It gave the advice to think of them as antibiotics, only use when necessary. The description or "rule" says They are commonly used after interjections (words or phrases that are used to exclaim, command or protest). I have the right idea, I just need to work on using them less. 

http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/punctuation/when/when-to-use-exclamation-marks.html


Example 2 from essay: The trip was amazing! Filled with lots of quality time, fine dining and romantic dates.

Here the second part is not a complete sentence. I separated my thoughts with punctuation which caused the second sentence to be a fragment.

Correction: The trip was filled with lots of quality time, fine dining and romantic dates. It was amazing.

http://data.grammarbook.com/blog/commas/connecting-sentences-with-commas-and-semicolons/
I found this online material to be helpful with learning the proper use of commas. The rule of the comma is to use a before any coordinating conjunction (and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet) that links two independent clauses. 






]]> 2017-11-02 16:42:20 UTC https://padlet.com/felixm3/brmrfzdli4hr/wish/203005727