Fulfilled by my personal achievements

I wish for a stable family life

Kids smiling and playing around

Secure to lead their lives as they will

Appearing from the haze ahead

I see a strong woman

Who has fought her personal ghosts

And has discovered that happiness

Is a feeling she can achieve

By following her own dreams

Rough as cement

Soft as clouds

Her personality shines through

The most unexpected aspects

Of her own features

She is brave

She is strong

She is willed

A ladder

Upwards

Will lead you to where you wish to be

Downwards

Will lead you to where you once were

You may climb as you feel safe

I don’t like how

The world is shaped

For the richest of rich

While the more unfortunate

Live in need

Of the most basic necessities

I don’t like how

People fail to look

Beyond their own realms

And refuse to notice

The imperative need

For the world to be reframed

No one wants to hear about your sorrows

No one is ready to hear about your failures

On social medias

All you show

Is happiness

And success

As life goes

Falling short

Of expectations

Has become a taboo

In the likes and follows

Unless you are perfect

You will flop

I dream of a day

When honesty supersedes

Lies

I dream of a day

When being your true self

Is more important

Than a façade of false pretensions.

tik tok… tik tok

every step we took in a similar direction feels like eternity

I danced day and night the same waltz without me or you leaving 

but now I let you down and you decided to throw flaming bullets in my direction.

I’m 25 and you decided a few months ago that you didn’t want to work with the same trustworthy quality you’ve proven to me over the years… but I understand… I get it… I deserve it… I’m the one who decided to smoke… I’m the one who decided to drink… I’m the one who decided to gain weight… I’m the one who decided to forget your existence…

I screwed up the one relationship I couldn’t take for granted… I get it… 

The dance we create will never be the same anymore… tik tok… tik tok… tiktoktiktoktiktok...tok...beeeeepppp

Allowing me to kick the world away

You permitted me to jump

From place to place

In the incessant play

All children love

Through my youth

You’ve taken me dancing

On so many different happy occasions.

You first tricked me when we went skiing

And I mistreated you downhill

leaving you scarred and scared

But you came around

And kept me moving

Dancing

Jumping

Through many basketball and volleyball seasons

You played right along me

Adulthood was no ball for you

I didn’t give you all the care I should have

And you became frail, weak.

Until, one day, without any consideration

I pushed and insisted

You join me in de Dojo

Where I allowed you to take a heavy blow

That is when you said: “ENOUGH”

And you split on me

Leaving me to my own luck

Now I find it fundamental to replace you

But that is no easy task

My dear ACL, forgive me

I miss you

with gratitude my back screams your name…

men will never know or experience the feeling and pain we, warriors, experience day in day out without choice…

To be honest, who would have been crazy enough to be willing to carry 2 kg extra of fat and muscles, that just by the tiny strength of one’s upper back

Euhm I won’t… But I still have to.. Thanks mom…

Thanks mom for giving me boobs, not just boobs… watermelons in the feel… and swords in the pain…

Fortunately for me I have you… sweet piece of fabric, made in all the different colours we could wish for… strong enough to carry my two melons and still make my breast look decent and supported…

When I wear you, it’s like your my antidote.. my pain goes away somehow…

When I wear you, my vocal chords tend to automatically sing I believe I can fly…

But at the end of the day… when I take you off… I believe I can breathe again….

The hill to be climbed

An aspiration for young girls

A glorious conquest of the adult women

A nightmare for the aging knees.

Tight and uncomfortable

Unsafe and unhealthy.

As they crumple the toes

Into the narrow arrows

That leads the way

Deforming the bones

We think of ancient habits

quick to criticize

Chinese for the habits

Without realizing

We are doing the same

Spikes under us

Highlight our curves

Unnaturally so

To the point where pain

Becomes our truth

Society requires

Women to fit

Into impossible patterns

Of body forms

And when we no longer

Can take the torture

Old and deformed

We are left aside

Substituted

By newer version

Of ourselves

Still willing

To let those hills

Destroy their amazing

Natural beauty.

over and over     burned

in rheumatic hands before 

you wrapped it     cushioned

in a box     gave it to me

at once singed

leaves of sweet summer 

strawberries left too long     drilled

by slugs     transmuted into 

robin’s song

◾︎

i come from comfort

i come from sparrow in the shelter of the shark

i come from my own creation

i come from the dawn chorus in the cherry tree outside the window

i come from the sound of my mother flushing the old toilet

i come from rain thick over the garden, patterning the pond

i come from a big man dangling a tiny woman by her throat

i come from hushed conversations the other side of the stairs door when i was supposed to be sleeping

i come from shrinking walls and enclosed spaces

i come from excavated breath in classics classes

i come from baptist upbringing, and later forgiveness

i come from zydeco kitchen dances on dark december nights

i come from Norma Waterson and Martin Carthy

i come from old miner and fisher songs

i come from muscled calves and freckled smiles

i come from whole sentences and open questions

i come from peaceful dreaming, abundant creation

i come from buttered boiled potato sandwiches and ketchup with peas

i come from chestnut soup on boxing day and apple chutney with jacket potatoes from the rayburn

i come from welcome release pressed against a soft surface

i come from uninvited touch and too-soon knowledge of man

i come from honeysuckle and frankincense 

i come from summer fruit in yellow sunrise tapas bowls

i come from summertime. the squawk, the splash, the sear, the shade.

i come from skin

i come from breath

i come from calm

◾︎  

Well - there I was,

sitting in this room smoking literacy,

when this man walks in, 

this tight-dressed man 

with a finger in each ear.

From a room 

papered in past participles 

he had come to sentence me, 

to convey the statement 

that my life was to be abbreviated.

By the third comma

of the second semi-colon

of the first full stop, 

my errant punctuation

was to be erased.

And then,

without taking his fingers from his ears,

he left. 

Leaving me to sit and smoke literacy,

and wonder where this 

Grand Grammarian 

had sold 

his question marks?

 Lee Allane

Walking with infinity

Earth spinning at my feet

Life a candle in the sun

Time an unconvicted thief 

I know that God is out there somewhere

Does he even see me

Does he know my name

Do I serve his purpose

Or just play the human game

Silence Silence Silence

Nothing even breathes

Darkness is unending

But the weaver she still weaves

I know that my country is watching

The world holds its breath

Some men crave my story

Some men seek my death

Glory Glory Glory

Wrap me in your flag

Vodka kisses in the morning 

A bear inside a rag

I know that someone is waiting in the vastness

How can I know his plan

God's finger on my shoulder

The end is the beginning

How small it seems a man

Mercy Mercy Mercy

Hide in endless night

Truth can wait until tomorrow

Save me from the light

So wash my cheeks with women

Pour gold into my mouth

Roubles for a smiling face 

Mind reeling from the truth.

Starlight Starlight Starlight

freckles on the sky

Do I hear God weeping 

Did man make him cry

Walking with infinity

Earth spinning at my feet

Life a candle in the sun

Time an unconvicted thief .

  Lee Allane 

  

Tuesday was a day where you try to do and be better than you were yesterday

Wednesday was a day of wondering what the day will bring

Thursday was a day of thinking about how many more days until the weekend

Friday was a day of focusing on what you will do at the end of the day to unwind and have fun

Saturday was the perfect day to spend with friends or a significant other

Sunday was a perfect day sleep in before the next week begins 

 

Never failing in  his kindness, and hospitality.

Never insulting, condescending, sarcastic, patronizing,

Always showing respect, even though HE is the one to look up to.

A good sense of humor prevailing,

Just at the right moments!

With love and strength as his demeanor,

Perhaps at times, underplaying his intelligence and intellectual capabilities,

He has a smile, reminiscent of a California sunrise,

Strong and shining for all the world to see,

AS harmonious as a Beatles tune

As pleasant to be around as anyone you would want to be,

He is, in effect,

“The gentleman”

You are my fake happy

People find their fake happy 

In a lover or a baby 

But I am lost in this love I found 

Within you and me

The leaves always has a dance saved 

For the wind

I just want to prove myself wrong for the win

The self could be the biggest doubter 

I just had a recollection of how life is without her

I kind of forgot at one point in time,

I loved her…

You show me how to feel

You show me how demanding my heart can be 

My brain feels like an earthquake 

And my ribs feel like the reverb of music

I am running standing still 

I run in all directions 

And I can’t find myself still 

And I can’t find love still

And I can’t find a reason why my dad left still

I thought I was over it, but still…

Half my life is one long bus ride 

The connection milestones I have in mind 

The daisies are blooming now

The cherry blossoms are around

I feel like flowers are the only ones 

That understand 

My sister is blossoming into her own bouquet

She plays with her hair,

Adds a couple barrettes 

I can sense that in her life,

She knows her way

My proudness will follow her 

My older sister nature will guide her

Maybe I’m outgrowing the vision

Of where I want to be 

Because I am already here

And the moments are passing me

Why is change,

The character of development,

The duality of death?

Why do you have to be taken from me

In order to be a step closer to success?

I am a wheel of fortune with culture 

I remembered there’s Japanese lineage 

Within my grandmother 

Being Filipino is already a halo-halo of others

I may understand everything

But my favorite is to say “iloveyou” in togalog 

I can’t meditate with others 

They turn my energy frequency into static

Can’t put a price on energy

But you had limits to your love

And went overboard with your time

And engraved trauma in my mind 

Why you still exist?

I’ll never know

What your karma is? 

I wish life would show

Daylight feels like a program

A screensaver window

What is it that’s in the water?

I can’t ever trust what I drink

But if you think about it,

It’ll make me stop thinking

So hand it to me,

I’ll take more than a sip 

But that’s what made her spirit slip 

Drinking ghosts will turn you into one

But she’s a star in the sky now,

Don’t forget where you came from