Liz Google Sites Peer Feedback 2019 - 2020 by Elizabeth Adegboyega https://padlet.com/26eadegboyega/azz4x9ugvww3 Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2019-12-05 19:28:49 UTC 2026-01-15 00:34:59 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/26bd.png Story Feedback 26sbirck https://padlet.com/26eadegboyega/azz4x9ugvww3/wish/420962007 I really like how you showed your character’s character traits through their way of talking and through their thoughts. I could definitely imagine what was going on throughout the whole story. I also LOVED and I mean LOVED how I didn’t know that Crystal was going to die. Not that I’m happy she died, I am just happy that it kept me guessing what was going to happen next, which is something I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IN ANY BOOK. One thing however, I think that maybe you could have not talked about Crystal dying so quickly. Maybe you could have stretched it out longer, and added more emotion, but overall, I love this story sooo much! :)]]> 2019-12-06 19:29:38 UTC https://padlet.com/26eadegboyega/azz4x9ugvww3/wish/420962007 Story Feedback 26egoldstein https://padlet.com/26eadegboyega/azz4x9ugvww3/wish/420964382 A strength on your story is the beginning where you said “In an academy named Celestial Stars there was a room where you could feel a powerful energy sucking you in, it was the energy of a hard worker. When you entered you would see a wooden desk with a Mount Everest worth of homework on top.” I liked how you described the desk and what's on the desk to.You also had good word choice in the paragraph. Another strength is how you added more detail to to this part “On Friday Lily had woken up, when she woke up, she saw that she was in a pearly white room. Lily was confused she didn’t know where she was. Lily realized that there was a tall machine with wires attached on it. She traced the wires to find where they were plugged into and it traced back to her ,she was stunned.” when she woke up in the hospital and she was confused and the discruption was great.
I wish you would add more when you said “When everyone arrived at the party they were amazed and Crystal got all the credit, but she told everyone that without Lily’s creativity they wouldn’t of had a party.” And add more action and sensory detail like sight,smell,sound, etc. This way it will help the readers understand the part when this happened
    

]]> 2019-12-06 19:33:41 UTC https://padlet.com/26eadegboyega/azz4x9ugvww3/wish/420964382 Story feedback-Zoe 26zlessing https://padlet.com/26eadegboyega/azz4x9ugvww3/wish/422230373 I think a really good part of your story was how you described how much homework Crystal had, “with a Mount Everest worth of homework on top.” Another part I liked/was surprised about was when Crystal died! A suggestion I can make is that overall you could have more sensory details but it was very good.]]> 2019-12-10 15:50:41 UTC https://padlet.com/26eadegboyega/azz4x9ugvww3/wish/422230373