nickname: Sam

gender: cisgender male

pronouns: he/him

s.o.: bisexual

r.o.: biromantic

hometown: Vancouver, Canada

nirthday: 30/06/1995

occupation: part-time baker

eye colour: hazel

height: 5' 9''

ethnicity: Canadian-Armenian

body mods: —

distinguishing features: sleepy hazel eyes | strong jaw | prominent hooked nose | big teeth | mostly leg-centred use scars

physical/mental ailments: heart issues | weak lungs | chronic depression & generalised anxiety (working on both) | occasionally suffers from psychosis that manifest as bouts of paranoia, mania and, in some rare cases, hallucinations (it's been a while, though)

faceclaim: Alexander Leon Gumuchian (bbno$)

parents: Adam Avagyan (father) & Carmen Avagyan (mother)

siblings: —

children: —

extended family: Maria(m) Avagyan (aunt), Carine Avagyan (goddaughter), Movses Avagyan (uncle), (Yeghia) Elijah Avagyan (cousin), so much extended family like omg

pets: Oojoo (black cat)

other important connections: Jason Keller (childhood friend/akhper), [REDACTED] (husband)

So, a man back in the 1920's (who knows when exactly — not you), after having escaped the personalised enemy, and concerned with the well-being of his children in exile, took it upon himself to shake the hand of the generalised enemy and seal himself a little deal. Really quite simple. Of course, there is no way of telling which stepping stone such an event will affect. The son? A saint. The grandson? A kind-hearted, gullible little thing. The other grandson? There — there you go, this one was built for greatness. This one will be our strongest soldier. This one will infect the great-grandson. And the other great-grandson. This one will infect a great number of sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters — this one will be the scourge of his line. But, here, you do not talk of him. Here, you have forgiven him, for you are of God, and God wants you praying for those who pray against you. Here, you started as a mute, and you'll likely end as one, won't you?

Samik-jan, you are a bright little thing, aren't you? You and your perfect grades. You and your ever-learning. How do people talk? Good boy. How do people move? Good boy. How do people smile, hug, when do they speak up, and when do they shut up? When do they move, when do they sit still? Good boy. What's natural to you? You have realised why it is incorrect by now, haven't you? Good boy. Now, this mirror of yours, your grandfather, the saint? Yes, he is old, so he gets a pass — you follow our rules, or we leave you alone, right? Right. Good boy. This boy you're friends with, he is unfortunate, and you are ungrateful — the privileged don't get to complain. Stop complaining. Be quiet, you have a name. Be quiet, you are of a certain status. Speak up, make a good impression. Smile, arev-jan — you are a bright little thing, aren't you? Don't dim now, don't dim, don't dim on us, arev, don't —

Then, the brother God gifted you, your confidant, and your partner in crime, will tell you that you do not know how to love, and he will walk away from you, too. And you will allow him to. And you will fly halfway across the globe, a bleeding thing aware of its scent attracting predators, and you will put the pack before you; you will choose a hole to, in peace, leave your last breath in. Here, at least, you get to take your mask off.

I know sobriety is the absolute worst thing I could impose on you, but it's either this or I tell your parents, Sam. And, of course, you've lived your entire life in dread of the sentence that the Pink Floyd judge gives, exposure, so, you comply. And now you're sober. And you fly between hometown and once-death-hole, and you meet your husband in the latter, and, now, you relapse, and you almost murder the other great-grandson — oop, now, you are exposed, and everyone knows who you are. Now, we know, Sam. Now, we know, Sam. Now, there's no more hiding. Now, there's no more lies. Now, we know everything, son, and guess what? Well, almost everything. Now, we know almost-everything, and you are still our sun, son. Arev-jan. Didn't expect that, did you? We love you, still, and we cherish you, and we are here for you.

But this one, this one is comfortable. This one is warm, and fuzzy, and gentle, and kind, this one is all you've ever dreamed of. This one is love, and a dream, a future, this one is warm beds, and warm meals, and warm arms, this one is a ring on the right hand, this one is marriage. This one is the one you cannot speak of, isn't it? This one is a noose tightening around your throat, the grand dimming of all that you are, this one is buried memories resurfacing, horrors within your comprehension but far beyond your processing capacity, this one is [REDACTED] your undoing, Samvel — this one is pain, this one is the generalised enemy's greatest deceit yet. Samvel. Samvel. wake up, Samvel.

Spread your tattered wings and fly, aghavni, migrate back to the continent that built you, and, here, you may take the ring off. You may place it before your icons and your candles, and you may kneel before it, you may, once again, pray for those that pray against you. Forget the silly dream, your wishful future, gullible one. Here, Sam, you may deny yourself, take up the cross, and follow your King.

Here, you may return, prodigal one.

We have been with you through it all. We have watched Our Love move through you; We knows of its eternity, Samvel, child, you are of Us.

Welcome home, son.

(=) aloof, guarded, private, religious, sensitive

(-) distrustful, paranoid, standoffish, stubborn, gullible

age: 25+

time zone: (irrelevant)

topics I enjoy: transformative friendships/found family | goblin behaviour | family dynamics (that potentially influence people decades down the line — a.k.a. longstanding trauma that affects people in ways they may not even be conscious of) | I-don't-like-the-drugs-but-the-drugs-like-me | vague symbolism (writing in riddles) | the human condition

what I'm looking for: nothing specific, I just like real and raw, I'm so weary of the surface

fun writer fact: the trickster archetype personally has it out for me (I really like clowns and jesters, Idk, it's a lifelong thing) — enormous nerd™

° on that note, mostly fickle with replies; if I take a while to get back to our thread, I'm most likely either invested in something else or trying not to drown within the perpetual tsunami that is capitalism. I don't poke, but if you must, please be cordial about it.

° within writing, italics indicate internal monologue, bold signifies either emphasis or loudness.

° I prefer private writing for heavier plots, but I'm not allergic to the public, if that is your thing. always open to discussion!

° I shy away from pre-established connections due to how rigid/strange my characters' backstories tend to be. most likely, I will opt for original brainstorming with respect to all characters involved.

° I am friendly, and hate OOC drama with a passion few people can fathom; although I am very open to geeking out OOC, I don't discuss my personal life in any capacity.

° PMs always open for plotting & brainstorming!

° no god-modding, no metagaming. if I notice that you use OOC knowledge to further your personal agenda, I will take it up with an admin.

° if your character doesn't like something, they are free to take it up with mine IC; if I notice mixing of OOC and IC in any capacity, you will be soft-blocked without any warning. I'm here to write, not entertain needless OOC animosity and pettiness. furthermore, my deep-dive into the human condition in my writing entails that I don't wish for forced IC positivity and friendliness; if our characters don't vibe, that's perfectly fine with me. know this, because if you're someone who wishes to be rid of all negative energy during their rp experience, I will not accommodate that — you are free to stop interacting if anything about Sam bothers you or your character, more than free to have your character disconnect from mine if they don't want to engage anymore.

° I've been writing this man for nearly 2.5 years now (and I am fiercely protective of him); I tried my very best to include as much info that he has revealed to me within that timespan as possible here, in a concise manner, but, as you understand, he is the Mariana Trench by now; he is immensely nuanced, and I will not be apologising for his ever-shifting and, oftentimes, juxtaposed nature. additionally, [prayer hands] he has been through enough, please don't come at us with ill intent.

duality incarnate. lowkey born within the upper class, proper classical upbringing etc. etc. fell into addictions due to reasons that were, in sobriety, and quite recently, revealed to him in his dreams. genuinely traumatised, but thugging it out. has done a lot of good, has participated in a lot of evil, highkey done with people pleasing and currently doing whatever he wants, which is, apparently, ignoring his civil engineering degrees and just baking. genuinely kind, but also wholeheartedly detached. exhibits schizotypal behaviours. so random. talk to him about Kendrick Lamar, David Bowie, Serj Tankian, Maynard James Keenan, Kanye West and/or Dostoevsky if you want to get on his good side. diss the aforementioned for the opposite effect. would consider monkhood if he didn't have to abandon secular music for it. born and raised in Vancouver, Canada. travels to and from South Korea at will.