Chỉ đúng 1 đối tượng: Chọn A cái j đó hơn B (NHƯNG VẪN CÂN NHẮC LỢI HẠI)

CÓ XẤU NHG KHẮC PHỤC ĐƯỢC NÊN NÓI CHUNG NÓ TỐT

Sử dụng: (balanced analytical)

sử dụng tuỳ tình hình vào mỗi nước (chính trị, etc)

Đoạn 1: ủng hộ

Đoạn 2: nếu chỉ spend on nó thôi thì không tốt

DOAN 1: JUSTIFICATION FOR A (WORKING FOR MONEY) (physiological; safety

DOAN 2: NẾU CHỈ RELYING SOLELY ON THAT, THÌ KHÔNG TỐT

🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 ✨TR: 7.5; CC: 7.0; VC: 7.0; GR: 7.5✨

Given the prevalence of mobile phones, the importance of social media in connecting people is undisputed. While proponents tout its ability to break down geographical barriers, the decline of face-to-face meeting 💥 GR: meetings (số nhiều) has raised some concerns about social cohesion and mental health. From my perspective, although there are drawbacks associated with online platforms, the problem mainly lies in the user’s behavior.

On the one hand, social media brings countless benefits, and the significant one 💥 VC: diễn đạt hơi cứng, đổi thành "the most notable" hay "the most significant benefit" nghe tự nhiên hơn is its flexibility. It allows users to maintain long-distance relationships and opens up more 💥 VC: thiếu sắc thái, đổi thành "greater" hoặc "broader" economic opportunities thì tinh tế hơn economic opportunities. For example, numerous KOLs and young entrepreneurs build online businesses easily and earn a steady income through livestreams on online apps like Tiktok 💥 SP: viết hoa chuẩn là "TikTok", Facebook, among others. Plus, students can access innumerable sources of knowledge or connect with professionals from different parts of the world to broaden their horizons. In this way, students can be more active in arranging schedules, reducing time to move 💥 VC: diễn đạt lủng củng, đổi thành "travel time" hoặc "commuting time" tự nhiên hơn between home and conventional class.

However, critics argue that these benefits would be pale 💥 VC: diễn đạt không tự nhiên, đổi thành "pale in comparison to" hoặc "are overshadowed by" in comparison with its implications. Online platforms are a breeding ground for crime. We need not to look further 💥 GR: đúng ngữ pháp là "need look no further than" than the case in Vietnam, which is one of the most shocking news stories, Anna Bac Giang, where people are willing to sacrifice their morals just for money. However, this assumption is misguided. If people use online platforms more carefully, we can avoid cases of fraud and exploit the potential benefits of social media effectively.

In conclusion, while it is true that social media has a dark side, it truly provides many opportunities for the young and makes life more convenient. The solution is not to refuse its benefits but to use it wisely to support human life.

Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life.

Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society?

🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴
✨TR: 7.0; CC: 7.5; VC: 6.5; GR: 6.5✨
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Given the increasing number of people preferring 💥 VC: em dùng prefer chưa chuẩn, prefer thường đi với danh từ cụ thể hơn, ở đây nên là choosing to bear children in later life, questions about its root causes and impacts on family and society have arguably been looming large 💥 VC: hơi dài dòng và thiếu tự nhiên, em nên dùng cụm in the spotlight (đang đc quan tâm). This essay will analyze the causes for this trend while also critically examining multifaceted implications 💥 VC: multifaceted hơi phức tạp, dùng diverse implications là đủ rồi em ạ.

The escalation in living standards can be primarily attributed to delayed parenthood. In some metropolises like Tokyo , and New York, the ballooning cost of childcare can put 💥 VC: hơi informal, thay bằng imposes thì học thuật hơn a burden on young couples, leading to the delay of childbirth. This is also exacerbated by work commitment as people invest more time in careers, and having children is such 💥 VC: such ở đây ko chuẩn lắm, em có thể viết often perceived as để sắc thái rõ hơn a barrier to their goals. Indeed, career often demand 💥 GR: sai chia động từ demand, careers demand chứ their prime years, leaving little room for early childbearing. The combination of these factors explains why young people refuse 💥 VC: refuse hơi mạnh và negative, chọn tend not to hoặc choose not to sẽ phù hợp hơn to start a family in early life.

Although late childbirth has a negative influence on both the mother's and the baby’s health, it would pale 💥 VC: em thiếu từ still, thành would still pale mới chuẩn so sánh hơn in comparison with its benefits. Morden 💥 SP: lỗi chính tả đây em ơi, modern mới đúng medical advancement has significantly alleviated the potential complications associated with late pregnancy. Furthermore, families who choose to have children later in life often achieve financial security, ensuring better lives for their children, including high-quality education , 💥 GR: thiếu từ nối and ở đây để liệt kê cuối cùng, phải là and healthcare services. Also, the older they are, the more life experience they have, allowing parents to provide a more supportive environment. In terms of societal aspects, those children who receive more educational resources are more likely to succeed in the academic path 💥 VC: unnatural expression, dùng academically sẽ tự nhiên hơn, contributing to a more well-educated population.

In conclusion, postponing parenthood is ascribed to a complex interplay of factors, including financial burden and career aspiration. While there are concerns surrounding health risks, delaying parenthood not only enables better preparation for nurturing children but it also cultivates a more educated population.

🟩 1. Task Response (7.0)
✔ Em đã xác định rõ nguyên nhân và hậu quả, nhưng lập luận hơi chung chung, chưa sâu sắc lắm. Ví dụ em có thể nhắc đến các nghiên cứu cụ thể, hoặc sự khác biệt rõ ràng giữa các quốc gia chẳng hạn.
✗ Thiếu phản biện rõ ràng, ví dụ em có thể thêm ý rằng ko phải ai cũng thành công về tài chính khi lớn tuổi, để nhượng bộ lập luận sẽ đa chiều hơn.

🟩 2. Coherence and Cohesion (7.5)
✔ Bài viết em khá logic, mỗi đoạn có 1 ý chính rõ ràng.
✗ Thiếu một số từ nối tự nhiên, ví dụ như "by the same token" (tương tự), "in the final analysis" (cuối cùng), hoặc "at the expense of" (phải đánh đổi bằng).

🟩 3. Vocabulary (6.5)
✔ Dùng được vài từ vựng tốt như ballooning, exacerbated, supportive environment.
✗ Nhưng còn nhiều lỗi chọn từ ko tự nhiên như đã giải thích trên, thiếu idioms và prepositional phrases đắt giá từ list, ví dụ "beyond question" (ko phải bàn cãi), "in light of" (xét trong bối cảnh), "anything but" (hoàn toàn ko phải vậy).

🟩 4. Grammar (6.5)
✔ Có sử dụng được một số câu ghép và phức khá tốt.
✗ Tuy nhiên lỗi chia động từ, lỗi về parallelism (song song cấu trúc câu), và lỗi dùng câu so sánh làm giảm chất lượng bài em nhiều.

1. Task Response: ✔ Arguments are specific nhưng em cần mở rộng ví dụ cụ thể hơn nữa để làm rõ những lợi ích và rủi ro của social media. ✗ Ideas are comprehensively developed: Chưa thấy sự phân tích sâu về "behavior of users", nên bổ sung thêm những ví dụ rõ ràng hơn. ✗ Add nuance: Nên thêm sắc thái như cảnh báo hoặc đề xuất cụ thể, ví dụ: "Without careful moderation, the convenience of social media can easily spiral into harmful obsession."

2. Coherence and Cohesion: ✔ Em sử dụng cấu trúc đoạn tương đối rõ ràng nhưng thiếu sự liên kết mượt mà giữa các đoạn. Nên dùng thêm các từ nối như "Furthermore", "Nonetheless". ✗ Một số chỗ chuyển ý khá đột ngột (giữa ví dụ tích cực sang tiêu cực trong body 2), nên có câu chuyển ý rõ ràng hơn.

3. Vocabulary: ✔ Dùng khá tốt các từ như "innumerable sources", "broaden horizons", nhưng một số chỗ hơi chung chung hoặc sai sắc thái. ✗ Nên dùng các cụm giới từ tinh tế hơn như "In light of", "At the expense of social interaction", để tăng tính học thuật. ✗ Cần tránh lặp lại các từ như "benefits", "platforms", thay vào đó sử dụng synonyms như "advantages", "networks".

4. Grammar: ✔ Câu văn nhìn chung khá rõ ràng nhưng còn vài lỗi nhỏ, đặc biệt về chia danh từ ("meeting"->"meetings"). ✗ Nên bổ sung các câu đơn để tạo điểm nhấn mạnh mẽ như: "Flexibility is crucial." ✗ Cần chú ý cách dùng cấu trúc nhấn mạnh và đảo ngữ, ví dụ: "Rarely, if ever, can online interactions fully replace personal meetings."

5. Overall Presentation ✗ Thesis statement đã rõ ràng nhưng chưa đủ mạnh, có thể sắc nét hơn bằng việc nhấn mạnh vào vai trò của người dùng. ✔ Cấu trúc bài tương đối tốt nhưng kết luận còn đơn giản, chưa tạo được ấn tượng mạnh. Nên kết thúc bằng câu nhận định mạnh mẽ hơn, như: "Ultimately, responsible usage is the key to unlocking social media’s full potential without falling prey to its pitfalls."

IMPROVE

OUTLINE: A common assumption: các doanh nghiệp thường chọn senior executive, questions about the advantages and disadvantages are looming large. Một số ng cho rằng người già có kinh nghiệm dày dặn, mangage cty stability, nhg một số ng think otherwise, contending that young leaders innovative và willing to try new things. In my opinion, I believe that các kiểu cty khác nhau cần we ưu thế của các độ tuổi

BODY 1: SENIOR MANAGER

POINT 1: extensive experience, đã trải qua nhiều thăng trầm và tích lũy kiến thức quý báu.

Supporting idea: Tuổi đời đi kèm với bản lĩnh, người già thường bình tĩnh, suy nghĩ thấu đáo trong các tình huống khó khăn.

EXAMPLE: Angela Merkel – Cựu Thủ tướng Đức, lãnh đạo đất nước vượt qua cuộc khủng hoảng tài chính châu Âu và đại dịch COVID-19 nhờ vào sự quyết đoán và kinh nghiệm chính trị lâu năm.

Point 2: dễ nhận được credibility hơn (due to senority)

Supporting idea: foster cohesion and maintain hierarchy

Body 2:

Point 1: Am hiểu xu hướng giới trẻ – khách hàng lớn trong hiện tại, Dám mạo hiểm và dấn thân.

Example: Facebook, Snapchat (young founder)

Antithesis: sự liều lĩnh dễ đưa công ty phá sản, việc set-up do người trẻ thực hiện thất bại là điều không hiếm (+Therapos)

🟥 𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 ✨TR: 6.5; CC: 6.0; VC: 6.5; GR: 6.0✨

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There is a common assumption that senior executives are often appointed leaders, and questions about its advantages and disadvantages are looming large 💥 VC: → its advantages and disadvantages remain hotly debated. While proponents argue that older managers are more qualified in organizations because of their extensive experience, other 💥 GR: số nhiều chứ em → others think otherwise, contending that young directors may push their firms to success. In my opinion, I believe 💥 VC: Trùng lặp bỏ "I believe" đi cho ngắn gọn that the effectiveness of a leader depends on what kind of company they are 💥 VC: ý này mơ hồ quá em à, nên nói rõ là "on the nature and structure of their company".

One justification for senior managers is their abundant knowledge that comes with age 💥 VC: lặp nghĩa, dùng "gained over time" gọn hơn. Hardly anyone can deny that the in-depth experience built over time can equip individuals with resilience and strategic thought, allowing them to navigate complex challenges. To see this, we need not look further than Angela Merkel, the former Chancellor of Germany, who directed her country to escape 💥 VC: thoát ra nghe ko đúng lắm, dùng "through" sẽ hợp lý hơn the European financial meltdowns with her deep-rooted political insight. Moreover, compared to the young one 💥 GR: thiếu số nhiều → younger ones, older leaders garner more credibility and respect, which reinforces internal cohesion and the hierarchy in a large corporation.

On the flip side, the willingness to try new things makes them 💥 VC: không rõ chủ thể là ai, viết rõ ra "young leaders" more compelling. Facebook and Snapchat act as convincing evidence for the bravery of young founders, who destroyed 💥 VC: "destroy" mang nghĩa tiêu cực, nên thay bằng "disrupted" hợp hơn the traditional models and created groundbreaking ideas. However, this line of reasoning is not sensible. 💥 TR: em lại mâu thuẫn luôn lập luận ban đầu rồi, đáng lẽ cần concession hoặc nhượng bộ chứ không phủ nhận luôn → "Yet, this bravery does not come without risks." Young leaders lack experience and maturity, which would probably lead 💥 GR: nên dùng modal verb nhẹ hơn để giảm chắc chắn → might lead to impulsive decisions and even failure. For instance, the collapse of Theranos, a company led by a young woman, Elizabeth Holmes, was a lesson in a lack of knowledge 💥 VC: thiếu chính xác, rõ ràng hơn là "the dangers of inadequate expertise". Unless young people learn how to combine the wisdom of age with the creativity of youth, they can superior 💥 GR: Sai cấu trúc so sánh, phải là "they can hardly be superior" to older leaders in organizing.

In conclusion, while recognizing the edge of both young and senior executives, I firmly believe that there is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of which one is better.

Đánh giá tiêu chí chi tiết

1. Task Response (6.5/9.0) ✔ Đưa ra lập luận rõ ràng, ví dụ về Angela Merkel và Theranos tương đối cụ thể. ✗ Lập luận thiếu chiều sâu, kết luận chung chung chưa mở rộng đủ ý tưởng. ✗ Không có sự phân tích đa chiều rõ ràng.

2. Coherence and Cohesion (6.0/9.0) ✔ Có từ nối như "Moreover", "On the flip side". ✗ Còn lỗi liên kết mơ hồ ("them" không rõ nghĩa). ✗ Chuyển ý abrupt (đột ngột), không có câu nối rõ ràng.

3. Vocabulary (6.5/9.0) ✔ Có sử dụng từ vựng academic như "navigate complex challenges", "garner credibility". ✗ Vài chỗ diễn đạt thiếu tự nhiên hoặc sai sắc thái ("destroyed models", "escape meltdowns"). ✗ Thiếu nuance trong cách dùng từ ("experience built over time" trùng lặp, nên thay thế bằng "accumulated").

4. Grammar (6.0/9.0) ✗ Có lỗi sai rõ ràng ("other" → "others", "young one" → "younger ones"). ✗ Sai cấu trúc so sánh ("they can superior" → "they can hardly be superior").

1. LẬP Ý TIẾNG VIỆT TỐT ,THUYẾT PHỤC

2. VIẾT MỞ

3. VIẾT RA 5-7 KEYWORD CHỦ ĐẠO MÌNH MUỐN ĐƯA VÀO BÀI

4. LÀM ĐẦY DÀN BÀI BẰNG TIẾNG VIỆT, BÁM THEO KĨ THUẬT TRIỂN KHAI Ý

5. CHUYỂN TIẾNG VIỆT SANG TIẾNG ANH (LẤY CỤM TỪ TÂY CHỨ KO DỊCH WORD BY WORD)

CUỐI CÙNG MỚI LÀ CHUỐT LẠI TỪNG CÂU 1 SAO CHO KHỚP TUYẾN TÍNH.

đọc bài trước

tóm mạch ý và PHÂN TÁCH RẠCH RÒI SỰ KHÁC BIỆT giữa các ý chính

note ra giấy thi -> note ý chính mỗi đoạn, bằng cụm từ

đọc các headings (i-ix), loại trừ dần các heading đó đúng hay chưa

ngay từ lần đọc headings đầu tiên, nháp xuống các ứng cử viên tiềm năng. Đánh !!! nếu rất chắc, đánh ? nếu chưa chắc, bỏ qua nếu chưa có clue

chuyển mắt sang bên paragraph để chốt ý.

DỌC LẠI TỪNG PARAGRAPH, đọc lấy clue để ghép vào các headings nghi ngờ.

Câu dễ làm nhanh, câu khó, khoanh vào quay lại sau

Sẵn lòng dành thời gian nghĩ lâu hơn cho 2 câu khó trong đề

0

1. TEST TYPES (timed-nhanh)

2. Muốn đọc lên điểm cần đọc các kĩ năng sau

• the ability to understand main idea (hiểu sâu)

• Locate specific information, make inferences (suy đoán) and recognise attitude and purpose

In light of the concerns surrounding …, questions about its root causes and impacts on both … and … have been looming large. This essay will analyze the triggers for this issue while also … such…

... can be primarily attributed to the … Although traditionally associated with …, many ... are…, which may translate into …. This is exacerbated by the … Indeed, when … are already…, …, let alone …. The combination of these factors explains why …. , and probably even further… at its worst/in the worst scenario.

At the heart of  the combat against … is the need to adopt A and B. To achieve this end, … must join hands to… lest… Ensuring … and investing in such programs are the very least they can do to make a significant difference to ….  However, while it is tempting to blame … alone for their … problems, the issue is nothing but simply…./the issue is far from… . If anything, it requires more… from the … part. Unless they strive … to make … more … and … to (people), we risk….

In conclusion, … and … have undeniably contribute to …., and resolving this … will require a multi-faceted approach that involves … and …. I believe that only through collective efforts and a sustained focus on … can we hope to reverse this unnerving trend and promote… / … for the better.

C1: giới thiệu topic lớn và topic nhỏ:

Whether for [A hoặc B], the importance of [XXX] is undisputed. Yet, the debate on [xxx] remains unresolved.

C2: giới thiệu debate:

While some argue that [A là nguyên nhân], others point to [B như là yếu tố góp phần].

C3: nối với thesis (hậu quả của xxx nếu ko được xử lý)

If left unaddressed, [vấn đề] can lead to [hậu quả], so [hành động] is necessary.

C4: thesis: nói xem bài viết này làm gì

This essay will analyze [vấn đề] before proposing [giải pháp] to [vấn đề].

Body Paragraph 1: CAUSE

C1: giới thiệu chung 2 nguyên nhân

The failure to [giải quyết vấn đề] can be attributed primarily to [nguyên nhân 1], if not (nếu ko muốn nói là) a persistent rise in [nguyên nhân liên quan 2].

C2: đổ tại nguyên nhân 1

It is the [chính sự tiến triển chậm hoặc không đầy đủ] in [công nghệ/thực tiễn] that fails to keep up with [nhu cầu/tốc độ tăng trưởng] in [lĩnh vực].

C3: giải thích/ ví dụ (đối chiếu với các lĩnh vực khác)

In stark contrast to [các lĩnh vực/ngành công nghiệp khác], [lĩnh vực A] lags behind, lacking [những tiến bộ hiện đại].

C4: đổ tại nguyên nhân 2

It is also the recurrent [thách thức về môi trường] over the years that has [ảnh hưởng tiêu cực] đến [ngành/lĩnh vực sản xuất].

C5: tóm lại cả hai nguyên nhân

With both [yếu tố A] and [yếu tố B] combined, we are witnessing [ngành/nguyên liệu] stretched to the limit, risking [hậu quả].

Body Paragraph 2: Proposing Solutions

5 GIẢI PHÁP DÀNH CHO TẤT CẢ CÁC ĐỀ HỎI SOLUTIONS:

1. CHÍNH PHỦ + luật (thắt chặt luật/ ban hành/ giám sát thực thi) về sth... -> thay đổi ngay lập tức nhanh, trên diện rộng (tạm thời)

2. RÓT TIỀN: chương trình cải thiện nhận thức -> thay đổi nhanh (tạm thời)

3. NHÀ TRƯỜNG đưa vào giảng dạy kiến thức/ môn gì đó -> hiệu quả lâu dài, hàng thế hệ

4. BỐ MẸ LÀM GƯƠNG -> hiệu quả sâu rộng, hàng thế hệ

5. MỖI CÁ NHÂN TỰ NHẬN THỨC VÀ TỰ KỈ LUẬT

C1: chuyển đoạn, kêu gọi sự đồng thuận của mọi người

As regards [giải pháp cho vấn đề], there is a strong consensus on [chủ đề].

C2: giới thiệu giải pháp 1

The first compelling step toward [mục tiêu] is [giải pháp/hành động].

C3: ví dụ về giải pháp cụ thể

To achieve this end, [hành động] must be taken on a [quy mô toàn cầu/quốc gia] to prevent [vấn đề].

C4: giới thiệu giaỉ pháp 2 (có từ đanhs giá tách biệt vơis gp1)

Equally crucial are [công nghệ/thực tiễn tiên tiến]. C5: ví dụ

Examples include [những đổi mới cụ thể].

C6: nhượng bộ: điều này ko dễ, nhưng làm đc.

Achieving this is by no means an easy task, but it is attainable with the appropriate effort.

Conclusion

In conclusion, [vấn đề] is undeniably [nguyên nhân], which contributes to [hậu quả liên quan].

Addressing this issue depends on how prominently [giải pháp] is placed in the [quy mô quốc gia/toàn cầu] agenda of [những nhà hoạch định chính sách].

1. đọc kĩ bài đọc sao cho nhìn SUMMARY phải bt đc ở đâu (bình tĩnh làm trong 10p)

2. hiểu đc SUMMARY, -> dành tgian dịch hẳn cho hiểu (nếu đc)

3. đoán nghĩa từ cần điện, word form

4. tìm từ đoán theo nghĩa trong list họ cho

5. đánh dấu ?: chưa chắc, đọc bài để so sánh các gap (check đáp án)

What are the reasons for these? Can you think of possible solutions?

🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴
✨TR: 6.5; CC: 6.5; VC: 6.5; GR: 6.0✨
═══nn══════════════════════
Everyone agrees that an increasing number of seniors are suffering from the feeling of isolation and facing a gradual decline in health. Yet, there is no consensus about ~its~ 💥 GR: đại từ ‘its’ không rõ ràng, nên thay bằng ‘their’ để chỉ ‘seniors’ contributing factors and potential measures to ~this problem~ 💥 -> tackle this issue. If left unaddressed, it not only increases the risk of chronic diseases among older people and ~reduces in quality of their life~ 💥 GR: sai cấu trúc, nên là ‘reduces the quality of their lives’, but also imposes a burden on healthcare systems. This essay will discuss the underlying causes while also critically examining effective solutions to tackle them.

Social marginalisation of ~the older folks~ 💥 VC: ‘older folks’ không trang trọng -> older adults is rooted in a complex interplay of factors, but can be predominantly attributed to ~the change in family structure~ 💥 VC: cụm này hơi chung -> shifts in family dynamics. With the rise of the nuclear family, many seniors are left to live alone because their children are occupied with work or have relocated to other cities for ~better opportunities for their careers~ 💥 VC: dài dòng -> career advancement. A sedentary lifestyle ~can contribute to~ 💥 VC: yếu, nên là ‘exacerbates’ loneliness among the elderly. Some older adults are often unwilling to engage in physical activities due to limited mobility, reducing their chances ~for~ 💥 GR: sai giới từ -> of social interaction. This not only intensifies the sense of loneliness, but it also deteriorates their health. In stark contrast to youth-focused programs, efforts to improve the living standards for the elderly lag behind, worsening their ~health condition~ 💥 VC: lặp từ ‘health’, nên là ‘well-being’.

At the heart of ~the combat against~ 💥 VC: không tự nhiên -> combating loneliness and physical inactivity is the need for collaboration between ~social and family~ 💥 GR: thiếu danh từ cụ thể -> society and families. Family members should stay connected with their parents or gather whenever possible, especially during national holidays. Although blaming families for abandonment may seem sensible, policymakers should invest in a tailored approach ~for~ 💥 GR: sai giới từ -> to enhancing the well-being of older adults. For example, the government should organize ~some~ 💥 VC: yếu, nên bỏ hoặc thay bằng ‘accessible’ low-impact exercise classes, like dancing or walking, and launch ~a~ 💥 GR: không cần mạo từ ‘a’ volunteer program~s~ or community center~s~ to support lonely seniors.

In conclusion, ~isolated adulthood~ 💥 VC: không tự nhiên -> social isolation in old age and inadequate well-being are pressing issues in most countries, which can be ascribed to family neglect and ~the shift in family structure~ 💥 VC: lặp ý -> evolving family dynamics. It requires collective efforts from the government~and, family~ 💥 GR: dấu phẩy thừa, nên là ‘and families’ to make a meaningful impact.

CÁC VẤN ĐỀ CHÍNH:

• Lỗi ý: Ý tưởng rõ nhưng triển khai thiếu chiều sâu, ví dụ: “sedentary lifestyle” không được giải thích đủ để liên kết với loneliness. Kết luận lặp lại ý mà không tổng hợp hoặc nâng tầm.

• Lỗi ngữ pháp: Sai giới từ (“for” thay HD (“of” đúng hơn), mạo từ (“a volunteer program” nên là “volunteer programs”), cấu trúc sai (“reduces in quality of their life” -> “reduces the quality of their lives”).

• Lỗi từ: Cụm như “the older folks”, “the combat against” không trang trọng, thiếu tính học thuật. Từ yếu như “can contribute to” có thể thay bằng “exacerbates”. Lặp từ “health” và “family structure” làm giảm sự đa dạng.

• Kĩ thuật lập luận/văn chương: Thiếu nhượng bộ hoặc phản bác để tăng tính thuyết phục. Chưa có ẩn dụ, nhịp điệu ba (triadic rhythm) hoặc giọng điệu mạnh như “pure absurdity”. Cụm “in stark contrast” là tốt nhưng cần thêm các cụm như “to no avail” hoặc “if not”.

REVISED:

Undoubtedly, the rising tide of isolation and declining health among seniors is a pressing societal concern, one that demands urgent attention. If left unchecked, this issue not only heightens the risk of chronic diseases and diminishes the quality of older adults’ lives, but also places an unsustainable strain on healthcare systems. This essay will explore the root causes of this growing problem, while proposing robust solutions to restore vitality and connection to the lives of the elderly.

At the core of seniors’ social marginalisation lies a profound shift in family dynamics, compounded by broader societal neglect. The prevalence of nuclear families, driven by career demands or geographic mobility, often leaves older adults to fend for themselves, their children preoccupied or distant. Equally troubling is the sedentary lifestyle that plagues many seniors, exacerbated by limited mobility or reluctance to engage in physical activity. This, in turn, curtails opportunities for social interaction, intensifying feelings of loneliness and eroding physical well-being. While society invests heavily in youth-oriented initiatives, efforts to uplift the elderly remain woefully inadequate, if not entirely absent, leaving seniors to bear the brunt of neglect.

To counter this, a collaborative approach between families and policymakers is imperative, lest the burden fall solely on one or the other. Families must prioritise regular contact with their elders, whether through visits or gatherings during festive occasions, to foster a sense of belonging. Yet, it would be unfair to pin the blame solely on families, for systemic change is equally vital. Policymakers should champion tailored interventions, such as accessible low-impact exercise classes, be it dancing or walking, to promote both health and camaraderie. Community centres and volunteer programs, designed to engage lonely seniors, could serve as lifelines, offering purpose and connection where isolation once reigned.

In conclusion, the scourge of social isolation and poor well-being among older adults, driven by evolving family structures and societal oversight, is no trifling matter. Only through concerted efforts from families and governments, united in their resolve, can we hope to forge a future where seniors thrive, their lives enriched with meaning and care.

The traffic and transportation problems in many cities are alarming. What are the causes? Should the government encourage people to live in cities rather than the suburbs or the countryside to solve this problem?

VOCAB:

wreck = devastate = take a (heavy) toll on

massive exhaust emissions= toxic exhaust fumes= carbon footprint

nudge sb towards sth = encourage

viable/ effective/ feasible solution/ measure

universal access to = available

availability accessibility (n)

massive undertaking

divert sth to sth = allot sth to sth

Outline:

🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴
✨TR: 6.5; CC: 6.5; VC: 6.5; GR :6.0✨
═══nn══════════════════════
One of the most pressing problems facing national authorities is ~traffic-related issue~ 💥 VC: cụm này không tự nhiên -> traffic-related issues. Some argue that the main culprit is the ~increasing in private vehicle ownership~ 💥 GR  -> increase in private vehicle ownership while ~some believe that relocating to urban area may alleviate thos problems~ 💥 GR  -> those; VC: ý không rõ, ‘relocating to urban area’ mâu thuẫn với ý sau -> others suggest that relocating to rural areas may alleviate these issues. This essay will analyze ~its~ 💥 GR  -> their root causes and ~also critically examining viable measures~ 💥 GR -> critically examine viable measures to tackle traffic problems.

At the heart of ~the traffic congestion~ 💥 VC: không cần ‘the’ -> traffic congestion is a complex interplay of factors, predominantly ascribed to the rapid ~growth of the number of personal vehicles~ 💥 VC: dài dòng -> increase in personal vehicle ownership. This is because ~the improvement of living standards made cars available for everyone~ 💥 VC: không tự nhiên -> rising living standards have made cars more accessible, leading to the widespread use of fuel-powered ~transports~ 💥 GR: sai dạng từ -> transport, which exacerbate air pollution and ~overcrowded roads~ 💥 VC: cụm này không đúng ngữ pháp -> road congestion. Additionally, the poor quality of the mass transit system fails to ~fulfill residents' satisfaction~ 💥 VC: không tự nhiên -> meet residents' needs, forcing people to choose personal vehicles for convenience, even if it means getting stuck in traffic.

To tackle traffic problems, the idea of ~geographical shift from urban to rural area~ 💥 VC: không tự nhiên -> relocating from urban to rural areas is introduced, as living near ~workplace~ 💥 GR: thiếu mạo từ -> the workplace can reduce commuting distance and traffic volume. However, this line of reasoning is not sensible. ~The overpopulation in cities can worsen living condition, compound the traffic problems~ 💥 VC: ý mâu thuẫn với đề xuất trước -> Overpopulation in rural areas may strain local infrastructure, compounding existing issues. Instead, ~government~ 💥 GR: cần mạo từ -> the government should invest in public infrastructure such as expanding bus and train networks~building bus lane~ 💥 GR: thiếu liên kết -> and building dedicated bus lanes.

In conclusion, the ~rocket rate~ 💥 VC: không tự nhiên -> skyrocketing rate of car usage and inadequate public transport have undeniably contributed to traffic and transportation problems. ~The relocating area~ 💥 VC: không tự nhiên -> Relocating to rural areas is not an optimal option in the long run. Instead, governments should focus on improving public transit infrastructure to address these challenges at their root.

CÁC VẤN ĐỀ CHÍNH:

·       Lỗi ý: Ý tưởng chính rõ nhưng triển khai thiếu chiều sâu, đặc biệt ở phần phản bác ý “relocating to rural areas”. Chưa có ví dụ cụ thể để minh họa. Kết luận lặp ý mà không nâng tầm.

·       Lỗi ngữ pháp: Sai cấu trúc (“increasing in” -> “increase in”), thiếu mạo từ (“government” -> “the government”), sai dạng từ (“transports” -> “transport”), lỗi chính tả (“thos” -> “those”).

·       Lỗi từ: Các cụm như “traffic-related issue”, “fulfill residents' satisfaction”, “rocket rate” không tự nhiên hoặc thiếu tính học thuật. Lặp từ “traffic problems” làm giảm sự đa dạng.

·       Kĩ thuật lập luận/văn chương: Thiếu nhượng bộ hoặc giọng điệu mạnh để tăng tính thuyết phục. Chưa có nhịp điệu ba (triadic rhythm) hay cụm nhấn mạnh như “to no avail”.

·       Chính tả: Lỗi nhỏ “thos” -> “those”.

There is a common assumption that senior executives are often appointed leaders, and its advantages and disadvantages remain hotly debated. While proponents argue that older managers are more qualified in organizations because of their extensive experience, think otherwise, contending that young directors may push their firms to success. I believe that the effectiveness of a leader depends on on the nature and structure of their company.

One justification for senior managers is their abundant knowledge gained over time. Hardly anyone can deny that the in-depth experience built over time can equip individuals with resilience and strategic thought, allowing them to navigate complex challenges. To see this, we need not look further than Angela Merkel, the former Chancellor of Germany, who directed her country throughthe European financial meltdowns with her deep-rooted political insight. Moreover, compared to younger ones, older leaders garner more credibility and respect, which reinforces internal cohesion and the hierarchy in a large corporation.

On the flip side, the willingness to try new things makes "young leaders" more compelling. Facebook and Snapchat act as convincing evidence for the bravery of young founders, who "disrupted" the traditional models and created groundbreaking ideas."Yet, this bravery does not come without risks." Young leaders lack experience and maturity, which might lead to impulsive decisions and even failure. For instance, the collapse of Theranos, a company led by a young woman, Elizabeth Holmes, was a lesson in "the dangers of inadequate expertise". Unless young people learn how to combine the wisdom of age with the creativity of youth,"they can hardly be superior" to older leaders in organizing.

In conclusion, while recognizing the edge of both young and senior executives, I firmly believe that there is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of which one is better.

A lot of old people are suffering from loneliness these days. They also lack physical fitness.

What are the reasons for these? Can you think of possible solutions?

═════════════════════════
Everyone agrees that an increasing number of seniors are suffering from the feeling of isolation and facing a gradual decline in health. Yet, there is no consensus about their contributing factors and potential measures to tackle this issue. If left unaddressed, it not only increases the risk of chronic diseases among older people and ~reduces in quality of their life reduces the quality of their lives, but also imposes a burden on healthcare systems. This essay will discuss the underlying causes while also critically examining effective solutions to tackle them.

Social marginalisation of older adults is rooted in a complex interplay of factors, but can be predominantly attributed to shifts in family dynamics. With the rise of the nuclear family, many seniors are left to live alone because their children are occupied with work or have relocated to other cities for career advancement. A sedentary lifestyle ‘exacerbates’ loneliness among the elderly. Some older adults are often unwilling to engage in physical activities due to limited mobility, reducing their chances of social interaction. This not only intensifies the sense of loneliness, but it also deteriorates their health. In stark contrast to youth-focused programs, efforts to improve the living standards for the elderly lag behind, worsening their ‘well-being’.

At the heart of combating loneliness and physical inactivity is the need for collaboration between society and families. Family members should stay connected with their parents or gather whenever possible, especially during national holidays. Although blaming families for abandonment may seem sensible, policymakers should invest in a tailored approach to enhancing the well-being of older adults. For example, the government should organize ‘accessible’ low-impact exercise classes, like dancing or walking, and launch volunteer programs or community centers to support lonely seniors.

In conclusion, social isolation in old age and inadequate well-being are pressing issues in most countries, which can be ascribed to family neglect and ~the shift in family structure evolving family dynamics. It requires collective efforts from the government ‘and families’ to make a meaningful impact.

═══01══════════════════════
In light of the concerns surrounding the surge in rác thải sinh hoạt 💥 household waste, questions about its root cause and its impact on both human life and the natural habitat are hotly debated. This essay will analyze the contributing factos 💥 SP: factors of this isse 💥 SP: issue while also critically examining potential approaches.

The increasing 💥 GR: increase là danh từ The increase in in domestic refuses 💥 VC: domestic refuse (ko “s”) + collocation can be predominantly attributed to the change 💥 GR: thiếu changes (số nhiều) in lifestyle. Due to a fast-paced lifestyle, many people have less time for cooking meals 💥 *VC: gọn: to cook), leading to the prevalence of pre-packed and processed meals, which are often contained in disposable package 💥 WF: packaging such as plastic wrappers. This trend is exacerbated by a consumerism society 💥 WF: consumerist society, where properties 💥 VC: nên dùng possessions or purchases display social status. With the advent of the Internet, companies launch a lot of advertisments 💥 SP: advertisements and promotions, manipulating people to purchase excessively.⚠️ GR: thiếu dấu chấm cuối câu

At the heart of combat against the household garbage 💥 VC: awkward → the fight against household waste is the combination of introducing governmental regulations on advertising and individual responsibility 💥 GR: diễn đạt rườm rà → the tandem of stricter advertising regulations and stronger individual responsibility. To achieve this end, governments, firms and consumers must join hands to push 💥 VC: to promote sustainable consumption. Ensuring the implementation of green marketing practices marketing 💥 WF and educational programs about the environmental and social impacts of consumerism are the very least to authorities do 💥 GR: authorities can do to encourage responsible consumption patterns. However, while it is tempting to blame governments and corporations alone, the issue is far from one-dimensional. On individual levels 💥 GR: At an individual level, individuals should boycott the companies that do not take action to protect environment 💥 GR + VC: companies that fail to protect the environment, pushing the shift to more sustainable businesses.

In conclusion, the skyrocketing rate of domestic rubbish stems from the fast-paced way of life and a consumerism society 💥 WF: consumerist society. However, with the collective efforts can we hope 💥 GR: đảo ngữ sai → only with collective efforts can we hope to reverse this trend.

1. Task Response (TR)
✔ Em đã xác định nguyên nhân & giải pháp cơ bản.
✗ Ví dụ cụ thể còn thiếu (số liệu nhựa, tên chiến dịch…).
✗ Phần giải pháp chưa cân xứng: nhấn mạnh luật hơn mà bỏ qua giáo dục dài hạn.

2. Coherence & Cohesion (CC)
✔ Bố cục 4 đoạn rõ.
✔ Có concession “However…”.
✗ Một số câu quá dài, một số câu ý bị nghẹn.

3. Vocabulary (VC)
✔ Dùng được thuật ngữ consumerism, disposable.
✗ Sai chính tả (advertisments), sai dạng từ (package).
✗ Thiếu collocation chuẩn (domestic refuse).

4. Grammar Range & Accuracy (GR)
✔ Có mệnh đề quan hệ, đảo ngữ (dù sai).
✗ Lỗi mạo từ (“the” bỏ sót), số ít-số nhiều (changes), cấu trúc so sánh.
✗ Thiếu dấu câu cuối đoạn, dùng increasing thay vì increase.

Band 9

In light of escalating public anxiety over household waste, few deny that modern consumption lends itself very well to excessive discarding. While some may argue otherwise, the evidence is beyond question that overflowing landfills already compromise both human health and ecological balance.

The first driver is unmistakable: an accelerated urban routine that prizes convenience more than nutrition but less than speed. Pre-packaged meals, single-use cups and next-day deliveries are no longer luxuries; they are a weekday reflex. By no means is this appetite confined to affluent cities. Emerging suburbs, eager to mirror metropolitan habits, mirror the same throw-away mindset, and magnify the overall volume of refuse. Compounding the matter, digital advertising personalises temptation at an unprecedented scale, persuading shoppers to update gadgets long before the old ones expire. Each upgrade quietly deposits another charger, phone case or carton into the municipal bin.

Solutions therefore require calibrated action rather than sweeping slogans. Governments must sit at the helm of policy by tightening eco-taxes on non-recyclable packaging and mandating transparent life-cycle labels. Such measures press manufacturers to redesign products that last, at the expense of short-term profit but for the benefit of enduring stewardship. Yet legislation, however robust, is one thing, but public discipline is quite another. Households can sort waste, favour bulk staples over portioned snacks, and refuse “free” plastic bags at checkout. Retailers, for their part, should deploy refill stations and reward loyalty points for durable containers. These seemingly modest steps, replicated millions of times a day, curb waste generation before it reaches collection trucks. Critically, educational outreach must run in parallel. Curriculum modules that track a yoghurt cup from factory to landfill make the carbon trail tangible for teenagers; community workshops teaching composting transform food scraps into balcony fertiliser. When civic awareness rises, peer pressure works along social proof, nudging even indifferent neighbours towards greener habits.

In the final analysis, mounting household rubbish is a predictable by-product of lifestyles engineered for immediacy. Regulatory vigilance, corporate redesign and citizen restraint form a triad that, taken together, can arrest today’s waste spiral before it becomes tomorrow’s irreversible burden. Only through such concerted effort can societies prosper without choking on their own convenience.

The two maps illustrate how the layout of Shelton village changed between 1910 and 2010.

Overall, it appears that the area transformed significantly, shifting from a modest village towards a much more residential and commercial area, with noticeable developments in housing.

In the north-east, residential areas were constructed surrounding London Road 💥 wc: along London Road. While in 1910, only a few houses were built at this road 💥 gr: on this road, multiple houses were added both side 💥 gr: thiếu “s” → both sides of London Road. In the central part of the village, new residential buildings were built at the expense of large house 💥 gr: thiếu mạo từ → a large house and open space.

Regarding the change in southern side 💥 gr giới từ → on the southern side, the grocery and bakery were occupied by 💥 wc: replaced by a café. In addtion 💥 sp: addition, new array of houses were constructed 💥 gr: an array of new houses was constructed at High Street 💥 gr: on High Street. In the west side 💥 gr: On the west side, there were a number of changes, with the transformation of butcher 💥 wc: a butcher’s shop into parking 💥 wc: a car park, house into bank 💥 gr: thiếu mạo từ → a house into a bank with the addition of supermarket 💥 gr: thiếu mạo từ → a supermarket.

IMPROVED

The pair of maps presents data into the physical evolution of Shelton village between 1910 and 2010. Overall, the settlement was transformed: farmland and a handful of amenities gave way to an area aligned with modern residential and retail needs, with housing stock expanding.

On the north-eastern edge, London Road—once lined by only three dwellings—became flanked on both sides by continuous rows of houses. Immediately south of this strip, a single large house and its gardens were demolished to make room for a compact housing estate, underscoring the village’s pivot towards higher density.

Change was equally conspicuous on the southern side. The grocery and bakery that had stood on the corner of High Street were replaced by a café, while an array of new terraced homes filled the remaining frontage of that street.

The western quadrant also saw substantial redevelopment. A former butcher’s shop was converted into a car park, the adjacent house was remodelled as a bank, and a sizeable supermarket was erected beside them—collectively creating the commercial hub that Shelton had previously lacked.

Taken together, these shifts signal Shelton’s transition from a scattered rural community into a compact, service-oriented suburb.

Task Achievement (6.5)
✔️ Mô tả toàn cảnh & hầu hết hạng mục chính.
✗ Cần chỉ rõ hơn từng thay đổi (vd. “large open field became a housing estate of six semi-detached units”).

Coherence & Cohesion (6.0)
✔️ Bố cục 4 đoạn hợp lý.
✗ Liên kết giữa câu còn đơn giản; thử thêm “Consequently”, “Meanwhile”.
✗ Đoạn nói phía tây nên tách thành hai câu rõ ràng để tránh liệt kê dài.

Lexical Resource (6.0)
✔️ Dùng được “transformed”, “residential”, “commercial”.
✗ Lặp “built”, “constructed”; thay “developed”, “erected”.
✗ Lỗi chính tả “addtion”, thiếu “supermarket” mạo từ.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy (6.0)
✔️ Câu ghép, mệnh đề quan hệ đã có.
✗ Lỗi giới từ “at/on road”, số nhiều “sides”, mạo từ.
✗ Thử dùng đảo ngữ: “Only three houses had stood there in 1910, yet by 2010…”.

Cố lên nhé em, sửa lỗi nhỏ & đa dạng cấu trúc là bài sẽ “bật” lên Band 7+ ngay. Khi mô tả map, nhớ so sánh trước-sau thật rõ, tránh liệt kê rời rạc!

▌ꪑకꪶꪗỉꫀꪶᡶక _𝒽𝓊𝑜𝓃𝑔𝓁𝓎.𝒶𝓂𝓈@𝑔𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓁.𝒸𝑜𝓂 ▌

🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴
✨TR: 7; CC: 7; VC: 6; GR: 6✨

• TR (7): Bài viết trả lời đúng câu hỏi, phân tích nguyên nhân và đánh giá tích cực/tiêu cực, có nhượng bộ và tương phản. Tuy nhiên, ý triển khai còn chung chung, thiếu ví dụ cụ thể.

• CC (7): Sử dụng "this," "such," "the latter" tạo sự liên kết tốt, các đoạn mạch lạc, nhưng một số câu lặp ý (e.g., consumer awareness).

• VC (6): Từ vựng phù hợp nhưng có cụm không tự nhiên (e.g., advertorial spread, neglectful attitude). Thiếu từ vựng học thuật nâng cao.

• GR (6): Có lỗi ngữ pháp cơ bản (số ít/số nhiều, giới từ) và một số cấu trúc chưa chính xác, nhưng không cản trở hiểu nghĩa.

═══nn══════════════════════
Everyone agrees that advertisement 💥 GR: danh từ số nhiều -> advertisements is no longer a new buzzword in marketing, appearing with increasing frequency via social media, TV and even within entertainment. Yet, some consumers are no longer influenced by that type of marketing 💥 VC: cụm mơ hồ, thiếu tự nhiên -> such marketing tactics. This essay will analyze the root causes while also critically examining its 💥 GR: ngôi số nhiều vì ám chỉ causes -> their potential merits and risks.

One major justification why 💥 VC: cụm không tự nhiên, nên dùng reason why hoặc bỏ why -> reason consumers are less influenced by advertorial spread 💥 VC: từ advertorial hiếm và không phù hợp, spread kỳ -> advertising is the rise of consumer awareness. With the accessibility of the Internet, people have become more discerning to filter out 💥 GR: cấu trúc sai, discerning không đi với to -> discerning in filtering out exaggerated advertisements. An overwhelming number of commercials cause 💥 GR: chủ ngữ số nhiều commercials cần động từ số nhiều -> causes many questions about the credibility of the products. Instead of relying on advertisements to make purchases, customers can compare the prices on different webs 💥 GR/VC: webs sai, nên dùng websites hoặc platforms, check reviews in order to have a more authentic experience. Moreover, the endless commercial breaks sabotage the user's enjoyment 💥 VC: cụm thiếu formal, nên dùng viewers’ enjoyment, as a result, viewers are willing to pay ad-blockers 💥 GR: cụm sai, nên là for ad-blockers.

The neglectful attitude 💥 VC: neglectful không phù hợp, nên dùng dismissive attitude towards traditional marketing tactics has led to the reduction of financial gains 💥 VC: cụm verbose, nên dùng reduced profits. However, this shift has driven a marketing revolution to regain trust in customers 💥 GR: sai giới từ, nên là among customers. Companies are now embracing more transparent, ethical practises 💥 GR: sai chính tả, phải là practices and investing in storytelling, user-generated content, and personalized experiences. This evolution not only enhances customer loyalty but also raises the overall standard of the advertising industry, fostering a more genuine and meaningful connection between companies and their audiences.

In conclusion, consumers today are not swayed by advertising due to increased digital literacy and disturbed with disruptive ads 💥 GR: sai cấu trúc, nên là disturbance from disruptive ads. Although it poses some challenges for marketers, this shift pushes a healthier, more consumer-driven marketplace.

The given diagram illustrating how the most popular condiments ketchup is made 💥 gr/wc: sai ngữ pháp và không rõ ràng, 'condiments' số nhiều không hợp -> ketchup, a popular condiment, is made.

Overall, the ketchup-making process is composed of 💥 wc: cụm này không sai nhưng hơi trang trọng, không tự nhiên -> comprises 15 fundamental steps, from collecting tomatoes from the garden to consuming it with various food 💥 gr/wc: 'food' không đếm được, cụm này không tự nhiên -> serving it with various dishes.

The initial step is when farmers pick tomatoes manually and then classify them according to quality. Once the tomatoes are sorted out 💥 wc: cụm này không sai nhưng dài dòng -> have been sorted, they are delivered to the factories 💥 gr: không cần 'the', số nhiều không phù hợp -> a factory by truck. From here, the skin, seeds, and stalk of the tomatoes are eliminated 💥 wc: từ này hơi mạnh, không phổ biến trong ngữ cảnh này -> removed while the remaining parts are contained by chamber 💥 gr/wc: cụm này sai ngữ pháp và không tự nhiên -> placed in a chamber in order to crush into tomato paste 💥 gr: cụm này không đúng ngữ pháp -> to be crushed into tomato paste. Following this, ingredients like vinegar, sugar, and brine 💥 wc: 'brine' không chính xác, ketchup thường dùng salt -> salt are added to enhance flavor.

The subsequent step is boiling those mixture 💥 gr: 'mixture' là danh từ số ít, dùng 'the mixture' hoặc 'this mixture' -> the mixture under high temperature before leaving in 2 hours 💥 gr/wc: cụm này sai ngữ pháp và không rõ nghĩa -> cooling for 2 hours and pouring into empty glass bottle 💥 gr: danh từ số nhiều và thiếu 's' -> poured into empty glass bottles. Having been labelled, those jars 💥 wc: 'those' không cần thiết, thay bằng 'the' -> the jars are rigorously tested with some criterion like: filling weight, viscosity 💥 gr/wc: 'criterion' số ít sai, 'like' không học thuật -> against criteria such as fill weight and viscosity. After packaging into cardboxes 💥 gr/wc: 'cardboxes' sai, đúng là 'cardboard boxes' -> being packaged into cardboard boxes and transporting for retail 💥 gr: sai dạng động từ -> transported to retailers, the ketchup is now ready to eat with fries and hambugers 💥 wc/sp: 'hambugers' sai chính tả, cụm này đơn giản -> to be served with fries and hamburgers.

1. Hiểu bài đọc (skim-scan cẩn thận: đọc tới đâu nắm ý chính nhanh tới đó + nhớ ý nhỏ thành mạch/ hệ thống)-> tìm thông tin mới nhanh

2. content-based keyword: dùng để hiểu câu hỏi và để đối chiếu đúng sai

3. YES: Nếu tìm đủ content keyword

PHÂN VÂN GIỮA NO VÀ NOT GIVEN

Phép thử: ĐẢO LẠI Ý CỦA CÂU ĐANG NGHI NGỜ LÀ NO/FALSE, tìm đc thì là fasle

yếu tô đc 8 k chỉ phụ thuộc vào ví dụ

Ví dụ: taking a gap year will bring benefits.

TR:

(extend) mở ý: lợi j, ntn, bao giờ thì lợi

(develop) triển ý: so với cái j, thế cớ biết nó bất lợi k (nhượng bộ)

VOCAB:

attitude:if -> as long as

Cách bày tỏ thái độ mạnh nhẹ

1. Stance: khi muốn đập bàn thể hiện qđiểm, thể hiện cái tôi (i feel that, i'm convinced, from my perspective)

2. Dùng hedge: khi chưa tin lắm (may, at a rough, as a whole)

3. boosters: obviously, undeniably, certainly

4. attitude markers:

có 4 cách đẩy engagement vào bài viết:

• sd ng nghe, ng đọc (we cannot deny, we often, man of us will agree)

• sử dg quan điểm khoa học (Through educational lens)

• directive: advice-solution (should, ought to)

HT ĐƯỜNG LINK 90%

HT THEO LỊCH

VIẾT BÀI LUẬN CUỐI LINK

The given diagram illustrates how a gas-cooled nuclear reactor operates. The process involves a complex structure which efficiently manufactures heat 💥 wc: cụm này không tự nhiên, "manufactures heat" không đúng -> sophisticated system that generates heat from nuclear fission.

Overall, we can see that this structure assists in ensuring safety during its operation. 💥 wc/co: tổng quan quá chung chung, thiếu chi tiết về quy trình -> Overall, the reactor efficiently produces electricity through a controlled cycle of heat generation and cooling.

The entire reactor core is housed in a pressure vessel, surrounded by a concrete shield for radiation protection. Uranium acts as catalyst for the whole process. 💥 wc: "catalyst" sai ngữ cảnh, uranium là nhiên liệu -> Uranium serves as the fuel for the process. Heat exchanger is placed outside the shields, equipping with a gas blower, and two-ducts reverse and this is used to cool down the heat. 💥 gr/wc: câu này lủng củng, ngữ pháp sai, ý không rõ -> The heat exchanger, located outside the shield, is equipped with a gas blower and connected to ducts that facilitate cooling.

The first phase of the process occurs when the reactor extracts heat from nuclear fission, which elevates boiling temperature, turning water into steam. 💥 wc/gr: cụm này không chính xác, lặp từ, và không rõ ràng -> which heats water to produce steam. After releasing its heat, the cooled gas is pushed back into the reactor through a cool gas duct, assisted by a gas blower. This continuous cycle allows the reactor to maintain a steady temperature and keep generating electricity efficiently. 💥 wc: cụm này ổn nhưng hơi đơn giản -> sustain efficient electricity production.

The two maps illustrate changes that took place in museum̶ ̶and̶ ̶its̶ ̶surrounding 💥 GR: thiếu bài từ và danh từ số nhiều -> the museum and its surroundings between the years 1957 and 2007.

Overall, it̶ ̶appears̶ ̶that̶ ̶museum̶ ̶evolved̶ ̶from̶ ̶a̶ ̶compact̶ ̶museum̶ ̶towards̶ ̶a̶ ̶more̶ ̶space̶ ̶with̶ ̶structural̶ ̶changes̶ ̶that̶ ̶enable̶ ̶visitors̶ ̶experience̶ ̶more̶ ̶services 💥 GR/VC: cụm này sai ngữ pháp và không rõ ràng -> the museum expanded significantly, incorporating structural changes to enhance visitor services.

In terms of the road layout, the old pathway was removed, and the entrance was moved to the west, leading directly to a museum shop. Another noticeable change is that in the east of the map, a car park ,̶ ̶which̶ ̶was̶ ̶accompanied̶ ̶by̶ ̶the̶ ̶shrinking̶ ̶of̶ ̶open̶ ̶space 💥 VC: cụm này dài dòng -> was added, reducing the open space.

The space within the museum underwent the most significant shift̶ ̶and̶ ̶the̶ ̶most̶ ̶important̶ ̶of̶ ̶which̶ ̶is̶ ̶the̶ ̶construction̶ ̶of̶ ̶special̶ ̶exhibition̶ ̶and̶ ̶education̶ ̶centre 💥 VC/GR: cụm này không tự nhiên và sai ngữ pháp -> changes, including the construction of a special exhibition and education center in the south of the map at the expense of one-fourths̶ ̶of̶ ̶green̶ ̶space 💥 GR: sai cách viết phân số -> one-fourth of the green space. The space in the middle of the museum was dedicated for̶ ̶local̶ ̶history̶ ̶room 💥 GR: sai giới từ -> to a local history room in 2007, while there used̶ ̶to̶ ̶be̶ ̶national̶ ̶history̶ ̶exhibition 💥 GR: thiếu bài từ -> was a national history exhibition. There was a museum store̶ ̶room 💥 VC: từ này không phù hợp -> storeroom in the front̶ ̶right-hand̶ ̶corner 💥 VC: cụm này không tự nhiên -> northeast corner, but it was then removed to make way for cafe 💥 GR: thiếu bài từ -> a café.

1. Cấu trúc bài phân tích: Bài viết mô tả các thay đổi nhưng thiếu sự phân chia rõ ràng giữa thay đổi bên ngoài (đường, bãi đỗ xe) và bên trong (phòng triển lãm, quán cà phê). Gợi ý: Chia thành hai đoạn: "external changes" và "internal modifications" để tăng tính mạch lạc.

2. Chi tiết dữ liệu và so sánh: Chi tiết được đưa ra (như bãi đỗ xe, quán cà phê) nhưng thiếu so sánh trực tiếp giữa hai năm hoặc mô tả định lượng (kích thước, vị trí cụ thể). Gợi ý: Thêm cụm như "replaced entirely" hoặc "relocated to the west" để làm rõ sự thay đổi.

3. Nhận xét tổng quan: Tổng quan chưa nêu rõ xu hướng chính (mở rộng và hiện đại hóa). Cụm "a more space with structural changes" không rõ nghĩa. Gợi ý: Dùng "transformed into a more spacious and modern facility" để tăng tính trang trọng.

4. Logic patterns: Bài viết có thứ tự nhưng thiếu liên kết giữa các ý. Gợi ý: Dùng "while" hoặc "in contrast" để so sánh các thay đổi trong và ngoài bảo tàng.

5. Thiết bị nối ý hiệu quả, sáng tạo: Từ nối như "another noticeable change" và "meanwhile" đơn giản, thiếu đa dạng. Gợi ý: Dùng "furthermore," "in addition," hoặc "consequently" để cải thiện.

6. Vốn từ: Từ vựng hạn chế, thiếu từ chuyên ngành như "renovation," "reconfiguration," hoặc "amenities." Cụm "one-fourths" và "front right-hand corner" không đúng. Gợi ý: Thay bằng "one-fourth" và "northeast corner."

7. Target language và nét nghĩa của từ: Một số từ không đúng ngữ cảnh, như "shift" (nên là "changes"), "store room" (nên là "storeroom"), và "a more space" (nên là "more spacious"). Gợi ý: Dùng "modernized facilities" thay cho "more services."

8. Cấu trúc câu: Câu chủ yếu đơn giản, thiếu câu phức. Gợi ý: Dùng câu như "While the entrance was relocated to the west, the eastern open space was reduced to accommodate a car park" để tăng độ phức tạp.

9. Ngữ pháp: Nhiều lỗi như "museum and its surrounding" (sai số nhiều), "one-fourths" (sai phân số), và "cafe" (thiếu mạo từ). Gợi ý: Sửa thành "surroundings," "one-fourth," và "a café."

   
   

🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴
✨TR: 7.0; CC: 6.5; VC: 7.0; GR: 6.5✨
═══════════════
With no end to the ongoing quest for efficiency in today’s rapidly changing society 💥 GR: câu mở thiếu chủ ngữ -> The ongoing quest for efficiency in today’s rapidly changing society shows no end. Yet, much discussion has been rightly devoted to the questions about the impacts of such changes 💥 VC: cụm dài dòng -> questions about the impacts of these changes, especially in culinary options on both society and individuals 💥 GR: giới từ sai -> on culinary options for both society and individuals. This essay will analyze the underlying causes for 💥 GR: giới từ sai -> of this phenomenon while also critically examining their potential merits and risks 💥 VC: cụm đúng nhưng dài -> critically evaluating its potential merits and risks.

At the heart of the dietary shift is a complex interplay of factors, predominantly attributed to globalization 💥 VC: cụm dài dòng -> primarily driven by globalization. Consumers can be exposed 💥 GR: nên dùng hiện tại đơn -> are exposed to a broader array of food options from different cultures in an increasingly interconnected world. We need not look further than the case of fast food, which originated from the USA 💥 VC: cụm dài dòng -> Consider the example of fast food, originating in the USA. Having been virtually absent from daily life prior to 1997, when quick-service food only appeared on television advertisements, there are a variety of fast-food outlets at every corner in Vietnam 💥 GR: câu dài, lặp -> Before 1997, fast food was virtually absent in Vietnam, seen only in TV advertisements, but now fast-food outlets are ubiquitous. Moreover, with the relentless march of technology 💥 VC: cụm đúng nhưng hơi sáo -> rapid advancement of technology, innovations in food preservation and packaging allow for a wider variety of dishes to be transported to customers worldwide 💥 GR: cấu trúc dài -> a wider variety of dishes to reach customers globally.

In a positive light, the change in culinary options cater for a fast-paced lifestyle 💥 GR: số nhiều sai -> changes in culinary options cater to a fast-paced lifestyle. People nowadays are occupied with busy schedules, leaving no room for cooking at home so microwaveable meals, pre-packaged meals provide time-saving options 💥 GR: câu dài, thiếu dấu -> nowadays have busy schedules, leaving little time for cooking, so microwaveable and pre-packaged meals offer time-saving solutions. However, the increasing consumption of convenience food undeniably comes with its share of problems, with affected individuals likely prone to health concerns 💥 VC: cụm dài dòng -> undeniably poses health risks for individuals. Studies indicate that processed foods often contain higher levels of sugar and unhealthy fats, leading to cardiovascular problems, obesity 💥 GR: thiếu “and” -> leading to cardiovascular problems and obesity. Worst yet 💥 GR: cụm sai -> Worse still, traditional recipes and methods may be forgotten, such as the decline in handmade pasta in Italy 💥 VC: ví dụ đúng nhưng yếu -> as seen in the declining practice of making handmade pasta in Italy. Even if some may argue that a globalized society is the main precursor of economic growth, the reality is that it can also lead to the loss of culture 💥 GR: câu dài -> Although some argue globalization drives economic growth, it can also erode cultural traditions.

In conclusion, globalization and technology have brought us more food choices and greater convenience 💥 VC: đúng nhưng đơn giản -> greater food variety and convenience, especially for those with hectic lifestyles. Although the change in eating habits brings the opportunity of cultural diversity and technological advancement 💥 GR: cấu trúc sai -> While changes in eating habits offer cultural diversity and technological benefits, it presents health risks and the potential loss of tradition 💥 GR: số ít sai -> they present health risks and the potential loss of tradition. Only by acknowledging both the benefits and drawbacks 💥 VC: lặp từ -> these benefits and drawbacks can we manage this transformation sustainably.

The given process depicts how to remove unwanted substances from contaminated water through a simple filtration system, ensuring the water is safe for human̶ ̶well-being 💥 VC: cụm này không tự nhiên trong ngữ cảnh -> human consumption.

Overall, this process involves a plastic barrel that̶ ̶is̶ ̶filled̶ ̶up̶ ̶by̶ ̶multiple̶ ̶layers̶ ̶of̶ ̶filtration̶ ̶materials 💥 GR/VC: cụm này dài dòng và sai ngữ pháp -> filled with layered filtration materials and a storage drum, starting with pouring water into a chamber 💥 VC: từ này không chính xác -> barrel and ending with drinkable water.

The initial step starts when water is poured into the barrel, which is covered by̶ ̶a̶ ̶plastic̶ ̶lid 💥 VC: cụm này không cần thiết -> with a lid. Inside the barrel, water penetrates through three layers in the̶ ̶respective̶ ̶order 💥 VC: cụm này dài dòng -> the following order: sand, charcoal, and gravel. Sand is used to eliminate impurities and heavy metals, while the̶ ̶charcoal̶ ̶deodorizes̶ ̶the̶ ̶water 💥 VC: bài từ không cần thiết -> charcoal removes odors. The gravel is positioned at the bottom of the barrel to remove the̶ ̶remaining̶ ̶undesired̶ ̶things 💥 VC: cụm này không cụ thể -> residual impurities.

Having̶ ̶been̶ ̶purified̶ ̶through̶ ̶three̶ ̶layers̶ ̶of̶ ̶materials 💥 VC: cụm này dài dòng -> After filtration, it is transferred through a pipe connecting̶ ̶to̶ ̶a̶ ̶storage̶ ̶drum 💥 VC: cụm này không tự nhiên -> to a storage drum, which is designated̶ ̶for̶ ̶potable̶ ̶water 💥 VC: cụm này không cần thiết -> designed to store potable water. It is distributed via a tap, and is̶ ̶readied̶ ̶for̶ ̶use 💥 VC: cụm này không tự nhiên -> ready for use.

1. Cấu trúc bài phân tích: Bài viết mô tả các bước nhưng thiếu sự phân chia giai đoạn rõ ràng (đổ nước, lọc, lưu trữ). Gợi ý: Chia thành "preparation, filtration, and storage" để tăng tính mạch lạc.

2. Chi tiết dữ liệu và so sánh: Chi tiết về các lớp lọc (cát, than, sỏi) được đưa ra, nhưng thiếu mô tả kỹ thuật hoặc vai trò cụ thể của từng lớp. Gợi ý: Thêm cụm như "traps fine particles" hoặc "ensures clarity" để tăng độ chi tiết.

3. Nhận xét tổng quan: Tổng quan nêu các thành phần chính nhưng cụm "filled up by multiple layers" không rõ ràng. Gợi ý: Thay bằng "utilizing layered filtration materials" để trang trọng hơn.

4. Logic patterns: Các bước được trình bày tuần tự nhưng thiếu liên kết mượt mà. Gợi ý: Dùng "subsequently," "thereafter," hoặc "following this" để tăng tính mạch lạc.

5. Thiết bị nối ý hiệu quả, sáng tạo: Từ nối như "having been" và "inside the barrel" đơn giản, thiếu đa dạng. Gợi ý: Dùng "once filtered," "next," hoặc "at this stage" để cải thiện.

6. Vốn từ: Từ vựng hạn chế, thiếu từ chuyên ngành như "purification," "sediment," hoặc "filtration." Cụm "undesired things" và "human well-being" không phù hợp. Gợi ý: Thay bằng "residual impurities" và "human consumption."

7. Target language và nét nghĩa của từ: Một số từ không đúng ngữ cảnh, như "chamber" (nên là "barrel"), "deodorizes" (nên là "removes odors"), và "readied for use" (nên là "ready for use"). Gợi ý: Dùng "purified water" thay cho "drinkable water."

8. Cấu trúc câu: Câu chủ yếu đơn giản, thiếu câu phức. Gợi ý: Dùng câu như "Once poured into the barrel, water passes through sand, charcoal, and gravel to remove impurities" để tăng độ phức tạp.

9. Ngữ pháp: Một số lỗi như "filled up by multiple layers" (sai cấu trúc), "the charcoal deodorizes" (bài từ không cần), và "is readied for use" (dài dòng). Gợi ý: Sửa thành "filled with layered materials," "charcoal removes odors," và "ready for use."

🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴
✨TR: 6.5; CC: 6.0; VC: 6.5; GR: 6.0✨
═══════════════
There is a notion that creating a discrepancy in salary 💥 VC: cụm đúng nhưng dài -> salary gap between upper management and other employees in the workplace is conducive for productivity 💥 GR: cụm sai -> conducive to productivity. While the protesters have their own compelling argument 💥 VC: cụm ko tự nhiên -> opponents present compelling arguments against this view, I personally hold this initiative because of its benefits 💥 VC: cụm ko rõ -> support this approach due to its benefits.

On the one hand, there is a compelling argument that different salary scales 💥 VC: cụm dài dòng -> salary disparities can compound the inequality 💥 VC: cụm ko tự nhiên -> exacerbate inequality in professional settings, harming for worker’s morale and work performance 💥 GR: cấu trúc sai -> harming workers’ morale and performance. If the senior management receives 💥 GR: bài nghị luận nên dùng hiện tại -> senior management receive a more comprehensive compensation package 💥 VC: cụm dài dòng -> generous compensation package than the average employee, workers can feel 💥 GR: nên dùng khả năng -> may feel their time and efforts are undervalued. This policy ultimately decreases efficiency and gives rise to the number of strike waves, wreaks havoc on the company 💥 GR: cấu trúc sai -> leads to more strikes, wreaking havoc on the company.

Regardless of the disadvantage aforementioned before 💥 GR: cụm sai -> Despite the aforementioned disadvantages, income gap 💥 VC: đúng nhưng lặp -> salary disparity still brings a wide range of benefits, and chief among those is motivation 💥 VC: cụm đúng nhưng dài -> with motivation being the primary benefit. It is widely known 💥 VC: từ yếu -> recognized that financial compensation serves as a strong incentive for the conventional employees 💥 VC: cụm ko tự nhiên -> ordinary employees. When they realize that the higher position is synonymous with higher earning 💥 VC: cụm dài -> higher positions yield greater earnings, they make every effort to be recognized and recommended for a promotion 💥 VC: cụm đúng nhưng dài -> considered for promotion. In addition to a motivator 💥 GR: thiếu mạo từ -> being a motivator, lucrative incentives 💥 VC: đúng nhưng lặp -> attractive rewards can retain qualified individuals. The leadership of a corporation shoulders a heavy burden of responsibilities 💥 VC: cụm đúng nhưng sáo -> bears significant responsibilities as they are key features 💥 VC: từ sai -> figures in the growth of a firm, who are tailoring the whole business and facing the crisis directly 💥 GR: cấu trúc sai -> shaping the business and directly addressing crises. By offering profitable rewards it not only matches their prowess and devotion but it is also considered as a form of insurance for the constraints they bear 💥 GR: câu dài, lặp “it” -> such rewards not only reflect their expertise and dedication but also compensate for the pressures they endure.

In conclusion, although differences in remuneration can be attributed to worker dissatisfaction 💥 VC: cụm ko tự nhiên -> may lead to worker dissatisfaction, this approach is sensible for retaining superiors and promoting work performance 💥 VC: cụm đúng nhưng yếu -> is effective for retaining talent and enhancing performance.

1. Cấu trúc bài:
   Cấu trúc rõ (mở, thân, kết), nhưng mở bài ngắn, không nêu rõ lợi ích cụ thể. Thân bài trình bày hai mặt, nhưng đoạn phản đối thiếu ví dụ minh họa. Kết bài lặp ý, không nhấn mạnh tầm quan trọng của cân bằng.
   -> Thêm câu mở (e.g., “Salary gaps spark debate, with potential to boost productivity yet deepen inequality”).
   -> Thêm ví dụ ở đoạn phản đối (e.g., “Low morale may lead to higher turnover, as seen in some firms”).

2. Sâu rộng ý:
   Ý tưởng liệt kê lợi ích (động lực, giữ nhân tài) và nhược điểm (bất bình đẳng, đình công), nhưng thiếu phân tích sâu hoặc ví dụ cụ thể. “Strike waves” được nêu nhưng không giải thích bối cảnh.
   -> Thêm chi tiết (e.g., “Strikes, like those in underpaid retail sectors, disrupt operations”).
   -> Phân tích sâu (e.g., “Motivation from salary gaps drives innovation but risks alienating lower-tier staff”).

3. Kết nối ý và từ thay thế/tham chiếu:
   Dùng “on the one hand,” “in addition” để nối, nhưng lặp “salary” và thiếu tham chiếu (e.g., “this policy”). Chuyển ý giữa hai đoạn yếu.
   -> Dùng tham chiếu (e.g., “This approach” thay “salary disparity”).
   -> Thêm chuyển ý (e.g., “While inequality poses risks, the benefits cannot be overlooked”).

4. Lập luận rhetoric; nguyên tắc lập luận:
   Lập luận dựa trên động lực và giữ nhân tài, nhưng thiếu nguyên tắc rõ ràng (e.g., tại sao lương cao giữ được người giỏi?). Nhượng bộ ở đoạn phản đối yếu, không phản bác mạnh.
   -> Thêm nhượng bộ (e.g., “While salary gaps may demotivate some, they are by no means detrimental to all”).
   -> Đặt nguyên tắc (e.g., “Productivity thrives when rewards align with responsibility”).

5. Ý phê phán qua câu chuyển ý:
   Không có câu chuyển ý phê phán hoặc thay đổi góc nhìn. “Regardless of the disadvantage” thiếu phê phán thói quen chấp nhận bất bình đẳng.
   -> Thêm câu chuyển (e.g., “Many accept salary gaps as inevitable, but this is far from ideal”).

6. Ngôn ngữ văn học và phong cách; ngôn ngữ thái độ:
   Ngôn ngữ trang trọng, nhưng thiếu thái độ mạnh hoặc phong cách văn học (e.g., ẩn dụ). “Wreaks havoc” và “lucrative incentives” đúng nhưng không đủ ấn tượng.
   -> Thêm thái độ (e.g., “Salary gaps are nothing less than a catalyst for ambition”).
   -> Dùng ẩn dụ (e.g., “Salary gaps are a ladder, elevating some while leaving others behind”).

7. Diễn đạt mơ hồ hoặc ko tự nhiên:
   Cụm “conducive for productivity,” “compound the inequality,” “aforementioned before” ko tự nhiên. “Features” sai ngữ cảnh.
   -> “Conducive to productivity,” “exacerbate inequality,” “aforementioned disadvantages”.
   -> “Figures” thay “features”.

8. Nhịp câu, dài dòng hoặc rườm rà:
   Câu dài dòng (e.g., “By offering profitable rewards it not only matches their prowess and devotion but it is also considered as a form of insurance”). Lặp “it” và “salary” làm bài đơn điệu.
   -> Rút gọn (e.g., “Generous rewards reflect expertise and compensate for pressures”).
   -> Đổi cấu trúc (e.g., “Attractive incentives retain talent and drive performance”).

9. Lỗi câu:
   “Gives rise to the number of strike waves, wreaks havoc” sai cấu trúc. “Who are tailoring the whole business” sai vị trí.
   -> “Leads to more strikes, wreaking havoc”.
   -> “Shaping the business”.

10. Ngữ pháp: Thì, mạo từ, số nhiều, dạng từ:

• Thì: “Receives” sai ở bài nghị luận, nên là “receive”. “Can feel” nên là “may feel” (khả năng).
  -> “Receive”. “May feel”.

• Mạo từ: “The senior management” đúng nhưng “worker’s morale” thiếu số nhiều.
  -> “Workers’ morale”.

• Số nhiều: “The number of strike waves” sai, nên là “strikes”.
  -> “Strikes”.

• Dạng từ: “Harming for” sai, phải là “harming”.
  -> “Harming”.

11. Phạm vi từ vựng, nét nghĩa và sắc thái:
    Từ vựng khá (e.g., “prowess,” “incentives”), nhưng “comprehensive compensation” và “conventional employees” ko tự nhiên. Thiếu cụm cao cấp (e.g., “unequivocally”).
    -> “Generous compensation,” “ordinary employees”.
    -> Thêm cụm: “This approach is unequivocally effective” hoặc “Rewards stop at nothing to retain talent”.

12. Ẩn dụ và thủ pháp rhetoric:
    Không có ẩn dụ hoặc nhịp ba. “Wreaks havoc” là cụm mạnh nhưng thiếu sáng tạo.
    -> Thêm ẩn dụ (e.g., “Salary gaps fuel ambition but risk sowing discord”).
    -> Dùng nhịp ba (e.g., “Motivation, retention, and productivity are the cornerstones of this policy”).

The given graph illustrates the comparison between̶ ̶the̶ ̶percentage̶ ̶of̶ ̶recycling̶ ̶4̶ ̶materials 💥 GR: cụm này không đúng ngữ pháp -> of recycling rates for four materials, including paper and cardboard, glass containers, aluminum cans, and plastics between 1982 and 2010.

Overall, while there were increases in the recycling rate̶ ̶of̶ ̶glass̶ ̶containers,̶ ̶aluminum̶ ̶cans̶ ̶and̶ ̶plastic 💥 GR: số nhiều không phù hợp -> rates of glass containers, aluminum cans, and plastics, a decrease can̶ ̶be̶ ̶seen̶ ̶in̶ ̶the̶ ̶number̶ ̶of̶ ̶recycled̶ ̶paper̶ ̶and̶ ̶cardboard 💥 VC: cụm này không chính xác -> was observed in the recycling rate of paper and cardboard, although it still remains̶ ̶the̶ ̶highest̶ ̶figure 💥 -> retained the highest rate.

To̶ ̶commence 💥 VC: cụm này không phù hợp trong ngữ cảnh, e đừng chật vật thay từ cao siêu, chỉ tổ bị trừ điểm thôi, từ biết thì dùng, không biết dùng từ bt thôi -> Initially, the proportion of recycled paper and cardboard stood at 65% in 1982, after which reached̶ ̶a̶ ̶trough̶ ̶of̶ ̶just̶ ̶above̶ ̶65% 💥 GR/VC: cụm này sai ngữ pháp và không rõ ràng -> it dipped slightly. 1992̶ ̶recorded̶ ̶a̶ ̶rapid̶ ̶climb 💥 GR: cụm này không đúng -> In 1992, it climbed rapidly, reaching a peak at 80%, followed by a significant decline to 70%. Similar̶ ̶change,̶ ̶but̶ ̶lesser̶ ̶extent 💥 VC: cụm này không tự nhiên -> A similar but less pronounced change, can be seen in the percentage of glass containers, which began at 50% with a subsequent̶ ̶fell̶ ̶to̶ ̶40% 💥 GR: sai dạng từ -> subsequent fall to 40% and a final̶ ̶at̶ ̶60% 💥 GR: cụm này không đúng -> final rise to 60%.

Aluminum cans observed̶ ̶the̶ ̶most̶ ̶strike̶ ̶increasing 💥 GR/VC: cụm này sai ngữ pháp và không tự nhiên -> experienced the most striking increase, although the quantity̶ ̶of̶ ̶aluminum̶ ̶cans̶ ̶was̶ ̶unspecified̶ ̶in̶ ̶the̶ ̶beginning̶ ̶of̶ ̶the̶ ̶period 💥 VC: cụm này dài dòng -> recycling rate was initially unspecified. In 1984, this number 💥 VC: từ này không phù hợp -> rate started at just under 0.5% 💥 VC: số liệu không chính xác -> 5%, followed by a surge to around 45% in 2008. In contrast, a̶ ̶slight̶ ̶climb̶ ̶in̶ ̶the̶ ̶corresponding̶ ̶number̶ ̶of̶ ̶plastics 💥 VC: cụm này không tự nhiên -> the recycling rate of plastics rose slightly, starting̶ ̶from̶ ̶nearly̶ ̶0%̶ ̶in̶ ̶1988̶ ̶to̶ ̶10%̶ ̶in̶ ̶2008 💥 VC: cụm này có thể rõ ràng hơn -> from nearly 0% in 1988 to 10% in 2008.

The picture illustrates how to make carbonated beverages.

Overall, this process consists of 5 phases, starting with filtering water, through̶ ̶evaporating̶ ̶and̶ ̶condensing̶ ̶and̶ ̶different̶ ̶mixing̶ ̶stages 💥 VC: cụm này không rõ ràng -> through evaporation, carbonation, and mixing, ending with bottles and cans of carbonated drinks being dispatched to retailers.

At the̶ ̶beginning̶ ̶stage̶ ̶of̶ ̶the̶ ̶process 💥 VC: cụm này dài dòng -> the initial stage, water stored̶ ̶from̶ ̶warehouses 💥 GR: cụm này không đúng -> sourced from storage is channeled through a pipe into a chamber 💥 VC: từ này không cụ thể -> filtration unit, after which it is purified to ensure that̶ ̶there̶ ̶are̶ ̶not̶ ̶any̶ ̶unwanted̶ ̶substances 💥 GR: cụm này không tự nhiên -> the removal of impurities. Subsequently, the treated liquid̶ ̶continually̶ ̶undergoes̶ ̶chemical̶ ̶solution 💥 VC/GR: cụm này sai ngữ pháp -> water undergoes chemical treatment before being transferred to a pump. Once̶ ̶the̶ ̶water̶ ̶cleaning̶ ̶stage̶ ̶has̶ ̶been̶ ̶done̶ ̶properly 💥 VC: cụm này dài dòng -> After purification, it is poured into electric heaters to evaporate, with steam subsequently̶ ̶being̶ ̶condensed̶ ̶into̶ ̶water̶ ̶when̶ ̶it̶ ̶cools 💥 VC: cụm này phức tạp không cần thiết -> then condensed back into water upon cooling. Next, the cooled water is pumped into a container̶ ̶of̶ ̶carbon̶ ̶dioxide 💥 VC: cụm này không đúng -> carbonation chamber.

The process continues with directing̶ ̶the̶ ̶carbonated̶ ̶water̶ ̶into̶ ̶a̶ ̶mixing̶ ̶tank 💥 VC: cụm này có thể đơn giản hơn -> transferring the carbonated water to a mixing tank where colouring,̶ ̶syrup̶ ̶and̶ ̶flavor̶ ̶are̶ ̶combined̶ ̶to̶ ̶impart̶ ̶desired̶ ̶drink 💥 GR/VC: cụm này sai ngữ pháp và không tự nhiên -> colorants, syrup, and flavors are added to create the desired beverage. This mixture is conveyed to container̶ ̶in̶ ̶order̶ ̶to̶ ̶filter̶ ̶and̶ ̶then̶ ̶filled̶ ̶in̶ ̶bottles̶ ̶or̶ ̶cans 💥 GR: thiếu bài từ và dài dòng -> a filtration unit, then filled into bottles or cans before being packaged in̶ ̶cardboard̶ ̶boxes 💥 VC: cụm này không cần thiết -> into boxes and distributed to supermarkets.

1. Cấu trúc bài phân tích: Bài viết mô tả các giai đoạn nhưng chưa phân chia rõ ràng (lọc, carbonation, đóng gói). Gợi ý: Chia thành "water purification, carbonation and mixing, and packaging" để tăng tính mạch lạc.

2. Chi tiết dữ liệu và so sánh: Chi tiết như "electric heaters" và "carbon dioxide" được đưa ra, nhưng thiếu mô tả kỹ thuật hoặc vai trò cụ thể của từng bước. Gợi ý: Thêm cụm như "removes contaminants" hoặc "infuses carbonation" để tăng độ chi tiết.

3. Nhận xét tổng quan: Tổng quan nêu các giai đoạn nhưng cụm "through evaporating and condensing and different mixing stages" không rõ ràng. Gợi ý: Thay bằng "through purification, carbonation, and packaging" để ngắn gọn và chính xác.

4. Logic patterns: Các bước được trình bày tuần tự nhưng thiếu liên kết mượt mà. Gợi ý: Dùng "subsequently," "thereafter," hoặc "at this stage" để tăng tính mạch lạc.

5. Thiết bị nối ý hiệu quả, sáng tạo: Từ nối như "subsequently" và "next" đơn giản, thiếu đa dạng. Gợi ý: Dùng "following this," "once completed," hoặc "in the next phase" để cải thiện.

6. Vốn từ: Từ vựng hạn chế, thiếu từ chuyên ngành như "purification," "carbonation," hoặc "bottling." Cụm "unwanted substances" và "desired drink" không cụ thể. Gợi ý: Thay bằng "impurities" và "beverage."

7. Target language và nét nghĩa của từ: Một số từ không đúng ngữ cảnh, như "chamber" (nên là "filtration unit"), "chemical solution" (nên là "chemical treatment"), và "impart desired drink" (nên là "create the beverage"). Gợi ý: Dùng "processed water" thay cho "treated liquid."

8. Cấu trúc câu: Câu chủ yếu đơn giản, thiếu câu phức. Gợi ý: Dùng câu như "After purification and chemical treatment, water is evaporated and condensed before carbonation" để tăng độ phức tạp.

9. Ngữ pháp: Một số lỗi như "filled up by multiple layers" (không có trong bài nhưng tương tự), "continually undergoes chemical solution" (sai cấu trúc), và "filled in bottles" (sai giới từ). Gợi ý: Sửa thành "undergoes chemical treatment" và "filled into bottles."

• GỒM 1 HOẶC NHIỀU HÌNH TRÒN ĐC CHIA LÀM CÁC BÁNH KHÁC NHAU, THƯỜNG ĐC TÍNH THEO %.

• BỐ CỤC: GỒM 3 phần: mở và 2 đoạn thân

Mở: 2 câu (tên đồ thị và nhận xét chung: CẦN CHIA SỐ LIỆU THÀNH 2 NHÓM CHÍNH-> 2 NHÓM NÀY SẼ ĐC PTICH KĨ Ở THÂN BÀI, ĐOẠN NÀY NẾU DG KIẾN THỨC NỀN ĐỂ GENERALIZE CÁC NHÓM NHỎ)

Thân: gồm 2 đoạn, mỗi đoạn 3-4 câu

TẢ THEO THỨ TỰ TỪ NHẤT-NHÌ-BÉT

• a substantial amount in the proportion/ take up a bulk of (NHẤT)

• come from/ is produced from/ is generated by/ is sold to. (nhì)

• bét: X, Y together made up of another (%), leaving merely (%) for

SỐ LIỆU SAU PHẢI TƯƠNG QUAN VS CÁI TRC-> MÔ TẢ

CÁC SỐ LIỆU CÒN LẠI TÚM VÀO TẢ CHUNG (VÀ NS CHÚNG ĐỂ LẠI BNHIEU % CHO THG BÉT)

The given pie chart compares the different energy sources by five types of fuels. At the first glance, it can be seen that nearly 100% of world energy resources came from fossil fuels, and only an insignificant amount was generated from renewable energy.

It is clear from the pie chart that oil took up a significant proportion of worldwide energy, at 40%. Less than approximately half as much, namely 28% was came from gas. Nuclear and coal together constituted another 30%, leaving only 2% for hydropower.

btvn:

✨TR: 7.0; CC: 7.0; VC: 7.0; GR: 6.5✨

Task Response (TR): 7.0
Bài viết mô tả được quy trình xây dựng và vận hành một lò hun khói tại nhà, đề cập đến hai phần chính: khu vực tạo khói dưới lòng đất và buồng hun khói trên mặt đất. Tuy nhiên, mô tả thiếu một số chi tiết quan trọng (ví dụ: cách thức treo thức ăn hoặc thời gian hun khói), và phần tổng quan chưa nhấn mạnh rõ chức năng chính của hệ thống. Để đạt band cao hơn, cần bổ sung chi tiết và làm rõ các bước trong quy trình.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0
Bài viết có cấu trúc logic, bắt đầu từ tổng quan, mô tả các bộ phận, rồi giải thích cách vận hành. Các từ nối như "The underground sections include" và "Having moved" giúp liên kết ý. Tuy nhiên, một số câu chuyển ý không mượt mà, và phần mô tả vận hành hơi ngắn, thiếu sự kết nối rõ ràng giữa các bước. Cần sử dụng từ nối đa dạng hơn để tăng tính mạch lạc.

Lexical Resource (VC): 7.0
Vốn từ vựng khá phù hợp với chủ đề, sử dụng các cụm như "smoke-generating sector", "smoldered", và "enveloped around food". Tuy nhiên, một số cụm không tự nhiên hoặc không chính xác, như "exposed with smoke" (nên là "exposed to smoke") và "allowing air regulator" (không rõ nghĩa). Cần dùng các thuật ngữ kỹ thuật chính xác hơn như "air regulation" hoặc "smoking chamber" để tăng điểm.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GR): 6.5
Bài viết sử dụng cả câu đơn giản và phức tạp, nhưng có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp như sai cấu trúc ("allowing air regulator"), sai thì động từ ("will enter in the next room"), và lỗi liên từ ("reaches to the storage"). Các lỗi này làm giảm độ rõ ràng của bài viết. Cần chú ý sửa các lỗi ngữ pháp cơ bản và kiểm tra cấu trúc câu.

______
The process illustrates how a home smokery is constructed and functions. Overall, a home smokery features two main sections: underground smoke-generating sector 💥 VC: cụm này không tự nhiên, thay bằng "underground smoke-generating system" cho đúng ngữ cảnh nhé, above-ground chamber where food is exposed with smoke 💥 GR: sai giới từ, thay bằng "above-ground chamber where food is exposed to smoke".

The underground sections include three interconnected rooms. The first chamber, covered by a lid, allowing air regulator 💥 GR: cấu trúc sai, thay bằng "allows for air regulation" while the second chamber stores wood, which is used to generate smoke. The remaining room is placed under the smoking box, equipped with a pipe, allowing smoke to enter and fill the above space 💥 VC: cụm này dài dòng, thay bằng "enabling smoke to enter the above-ground chamber" cho gọn. To operate this system, individual opens 💥 GR: thiếu mạo từ, thay bằng "an individual opens" the lid of the first chamber, enabling fresh air to flow in. Oxygen will enter in the next room 💥 GR: sai cấu trúc, thay bằng "enters the next room", where logs are ignited. Once the fuel smoldered 💥 GR: sai thì, thay bằng "smolders", it produces smoke, traveling horizontally through a connecting tunnel before it reaches to the storage 💥 GR: câu này lủng củng, thay bằng "which travels through a connecting tunnel to the smoking chamber". Having moved into the above-ground chamber, smoke gradually enveloped around food 💥 GR: sai cấu trúc và giới từ, thay bằng "Once in the above-ground chamber, the smoke gradually envelops the food".

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing to their country. What are the reasons? solutions to change negative attitudes?

🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴
✨TR: 6.5; CC: 6.5; VC: 6.0; GR: 6.0✨
═══nn══════════════════════

Whether for globalization or economic prosperity, the importance of international tourism is undisputed. Yet, much discussions revolve 💥 GR: danh từ số nhiều sai, chủ ngữ số ít -> much discussion revolves around the drawbacks of cross-border travel, further leading to 💥 VC -> leading to a hostile attitude towards this trend. This essay will analyze the underlying reasons while also critically evaluating effective solutions.

The stereotype of oversea tourists 💥 VC -> overseas tourists is rooted in a complex interplay of factors, but mainly attributed to the damages caused to 💥 VC: cụm lủng củng -> primarily due to damage caused to tourist destinations. Admittedly, the image of tourists behaving disrespectfully at historical sites and scenic spots has garnered the publicity 💥 VC: -> garnered publicity. We need not look further than the case in Vietnam 💥 VC: cụm này ổn nhưng lặp trong bài trước, thay đổi -> Consider the case in Vietnam, where two Chinese visitors vandalized the tomb of King Lê Túc Tông. Even more troubling, due to cultural differences, tourists accidentally offend 💥 VC: ko sai nhưng yếu -> unintentionally offend locals. An example of this is that a Japanese waiter in a local restaurant may feel dishonored if an American tourist leaves him a tip, a very common and well-appreciated practice 💥 VC: dài dòng -> a common and appreciated practice in the US and other countries.

As regards measures to address 💥 VC: hơi trang trọng quá -> regards addressing this antagonistic attitude, governments should impose laws to protect tourist destinations. In addition, these sites should be equipped with tour guides to help overseas visitors understand local rules, and more security staff should be deployed. Equally crucial are cultural-exchange programs made available for everyone 💥 VC: chung chung -> to both locals and tourists. If such programs were held, mutual cultural understandings 💥 GR: danh từ số nhiều sai -> cultural understanding between the locals and the visitors 💥 CC: lặp từ, bỏ "the" -> locals and visitors would be fortified, and the problem of cultural clashes could be mitigated. Achieving this end by no means easy task 💥 -> end is by no means an easy task, but it is attainable with the appropriate effort 💥 -> appropriate efforts.

In conclusion, the negative attitude towards foreigners can be ascribed to the concern about the destruction of heritage sites 💥 VC: dài dòng -> concerns over heritage site destruction and cultural misunderstandings. Only by implementing preservation legalization 💥 -> preservation laws and promoting cultural-exchange action 💥 VC: sai danh từ -> cultural-exchange initiatives can we hope to change discriminatory perceptions towards foreign tourists.

Nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

Everyone agrees that advertisements is no longer a new buzzword in marketing, appearing with increasing frequency via social media, TV and even within entertainment. Yet, some consumers are no longer influenced by such marketing tactics. This essay will analyze the root causes while also critically examining their potential merits and risks.

One major reason consumers are less influenced by advertising is the rise of consumer awareness. With the accessibility of the Internet, people have become more discerning in filtering out exaggerated advertisements. An overwhelming number of commercials causes many questions about the credibility of the products. Instead of relying on advertisements to make purchases, customers can compare the prices on different platforms, check reviews in order to have a more authentic experience. Moreover, the endless commercial breaks sabotage viewers’ enjoyment, as a result, viewers are willing to pay for ad-blockers.

The dismissive attitude towards traditional marketing tactics has led to reduced profits. However, this shift has driven a marketing revolution to regain trust among customers. Companies are now embracing more transparent, ethical practices and investing in storytelling, user-generated content, and personalized experiences. This evolution not only enhances customer loyalty but also raises the overall standard of the advertising industry, fostering a more genuine and meaningful connection between companies and their audiences.

In conclusion, consumers today are not swayed by advertising due to increased digital literacy and disturbance from disruptive ads. Although it poses some challenges for marketers, this shift pushes a healthier, more consumer-driven marketplace.

Task 2:

🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴
✨TR: 6.5; CC: 6.0; VC: 6.0; GR: 5.5✨
═══nn══════════════════════

Everyone agrees that the increasing of 💥 GR: sai cấu trúc, danh từ ko cần "of" -> increase in shipping and travelling is the main culprit of environmental pollution. However, many discussions are devoted to whether government or individual should rest responsibility 💥 GR: thiếu mạo từ, sai động từ -> the government or individuals should bear responsibility for this damage. Some argue that cushy lifestyle 💥 VC: ko tự nhiên, nghe lóng -> comfortable lifestyle and the Internet are attributed to 💥 VC: sai collocation -> contribute to the development of the shipping business and the ubiquitous of private vehicles 💥 GR: sai danh từ -> ubiquity of private vehicles while others contend that thegovernment 💥 GR: thiếu cách, mạo từ -> the government should set tax 💥 VC: collocation sai -> impose taxes on export goods 💥 VC: ko tự nhiên -> exported goods and allot money for upgrading mass transit. This essay will analyze these views before giving my opinion, which posits that the key lies not in a one-size-fits-all approach but rather the awareness of citizens 💥 VC: thiếu cụ thể -> citizens’ awareness.

My argument for the prevalence of delivery service 💥 GR: số nhiều nhé -> services strongly aligns with the timeless adage: "Supply and demand" 💥 Punctuation: ko cần ngoặc kép -> Supply and demand. With just a few clicks, consumers can access to the products 💥 GR: sai giới từ -> access products in different cities or even in different countries. However, to achieve this end, numerous of flights and other vehicle 💥 GR: sai cấu trúc, số nhiều -> numerous flights and other vehicles are used to transport those freight 💥 GR: danh từ ko đếm được -> that freight, releasing massive exhaust fumes and as a result catastrophically exacerbated 💥 GR: sai trật tự, dạng từ -> as a result, catastrophically exacerbating air pollution. This is also compounded by the widespread use of fuel-powered vehicles, especially automobiles. We need not to look further 💥 GR: sai cấu trúc -> need not look further than the case in Vietnam, with the rocketing rates of car ownerships 💥 GR: danh từ ko cần số nhiều -> rocketing rate of car ownership, which is contaminating 💥 GR: số nhiều, chủ ngữ là "rates" -> are contaminating the atmosphere in many cities, particularly in Hanoi.

On the flip side, some contend that if the quality of public transports 💥 GR: danh từ ko đếm được -> transport is satisfactory, people would no longer need to use private vehicles because of their price and convinience 💥 GR: sai chính tả -> convenience. Therefore, it is crucial that the government should allocate 💥 GR: bỏ "should" trong mệnh đề danh từ -> allocate more funding for trams, buses, and bike landes 💥 GR: sai chính tả -> bike lanes to reduce the influx of commuters. Apart from mass transit, the government should impose transportation tax 💥 VC: ko tự nhiên -> transport taxes on exported products 💥 VC: ổn, nhưng rõ hơn -> exported goods. However, this situation 💥 CC: ý mơ hồ -> approach is not getting better; if anything, it is getting worse. Even if the public transportation system is upgraded, many people still buy cars to showcase their status. Moreover, imposing high tax 💥 GR: số nhiều -> high taxes on foreign freight 💥 VC: ko rõ ràng -> imported goods can increase the rate of smuggling, which would have an adverse impact on local economy 💥 VC: thiếu mạo từ -> the local economy.

In conclusion, only by combining the efforts of the government and individuals can environmental degradation be alleviated. Unless people become aware that 💥 VC: dài dòng -> realize that the transportation of goods and individuals harms the environment, no laws enacted by the government will be able to remedy the situation.

🚩 Các vấn đề ngữ pháp cần lưu ý:
▪️Range of sentence structures: E có câu phức, nhưng lặp “some contend” và câu đơn -> thử câu nhấn mạnh. Vd: Rarely do citizens consider the environmental cost of their habits.
▪️Range of sentence tenses: Chủ yếu hiện tại đơn, thiếu đa dạng -> thêm hiện tại hoàn thành. Vd: Car ownership has surged in Vietnam, worsening air quality.
▪️Range of grammatical constructions: Ít cấu trúc nâng cao như bị động -> thử dùng. Vd: More funds should be allocated to public transport upgrades.
▪️Grammatical Accuracy: Nhiều lỗi chủ ngữ-động từ (is contaminating), mạo từ (thegovernment), và giới từ (access to). Coi lại kỹ nha! Vd: The increase in shipping contributes to pollution.
▪️Linking words: “However, moreover” ổn, nhưng lặp “apart from” -> thay furthermore hoặc in addition. Vd: In addition, taxes on goods could deter smuggling.
▪️Collocations: “Cushy lifestyle”, “set tax” sai -> comfortable lifestyle, impose taxes. Vd: A comfortable lifestyle drives demand for delivery services.
▪️Punctuation: Sai ngoặc kép ở “Supply and demand” và thiếu phẩy vài chỗ. Vd: With rising car ownership, Hanoi’s air quality is deteriorating.

E có ý hay, nhưng lập luận hơi lan man, ví dụ ở Việt Nam cần cụ thể hơn (số liệu, khu vực). Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp và chọn từ chính xác hơn.

✨TR: 6.5; CC: 6.5; VC: 6.5; GR: 6.0✨

Task Response (TR): 6.5
Bài viết mô tả các xu hướng trong tỷ lệ đăng ký năm khóa học tại một trung tâm giáo dục người lớn vào năm 1985 và năm nay, nhấn mạnh sự ổn định của Fitness and Dance và sự thay đổi của các khóa khác. Tuy nhiên, một số thông tin sai lệch (ví dụ: "cookery class, ranging from 14% to 19%" ngụ ý giảm, nhưng thực tế là tăng), và phân tích thiếu chi tiết về Local History. Để đạt band cao hơn, cần cung cấp dữ liệu chính xác và phân tích đầy đủ tất cả các khóa học.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.5
Bài viết có cấu trúc cơ bản với phần mở bài, tổng quan, và phân tích chi tiết. Các từ nối như "In contrast" và "Although" được sử dụng, nhưng một số ý không liên kết chặt chẽ, đặc biệt ở đoạn thứ hai khi chuyển từ Modern Languages sang IT và Art. Phần mô tả về Cookery và Music Appreciation cũng thiếu mạch lạc. Cần cải thiện sự liền mạch bằng cách dùng từ nối đa dạng hơn và sắp xếp ý rõ ràng hơn.

Lexical Resource (VC): 6.5
Vốn từ vựng ở mức khá với các cụm như "sizable segment", "modest decline", và "demonstrating the demands". Tuy nhiên, một số cụm không tự nhiên hoặc sai ngữ cảnh, như "being overtaken by the attendance" và "ranging from 14% to 19%". Cần dùng các cụm học thuật chính xác hơn như "surpassed by" hoặc "increasing from 14% to 19%" để tăng điểm.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GR): 6.0
Bài viết sử dụng cả câu đơn giản và phức tạp, nhưng có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp như sai cấu trúc ("being overtaken by the attendance"), sai từ loại ("a decrease can be observed in cookery class"), và câu không hoàn chỉnh ("demonstrating the demands in an increasingly"). Các lỗi này làm giảm độ rõ ràng và ảnh hưởng đến chất lượng bài viết. Cần sửa các lỗi cơ bản để tăng độ chính xác.

______
The given pie charts compare the enrollment rate in five courses at an adult education center in 1985 and the current year. The data shows that only fitness and dance remained unchanged in 1985 💥 GR: cấu trúc không rõ, thay bằng "Fitness and Dance remained stable" cho đúng ngữ cảnh nhé, while the remaining sectors underwent slight changes 💥 VC: "slight changes" quá chung chung, thay bằng "significant shifts" để nhấn mạnh hơn.

In 1985, the trend in fitness and dance was clear, maintaining at 22% until now 💥 GR: câu này lủng củng, thay bằng "Fitness and Dance held a steady 22% share through to the present". Although the proportion of students learning modern languages held a sizable segment, at 24% 💥 VC: "sizable segment" không tự nhiên, thay bằng "Modern Languages accounted for a significant 24%", it witnessed a modest decline of 7%, being overtaken by the attendance of a new IT class this year (27%) 💥 GR: cấu trúc sai, thay bằng "falling to 17%, surpassed by the new IT course at 27%", demonstrating the demands in an increasingly 💥 GR: câu không hoàn chỉnh, thay bằng "reflecting growing demand for technological skills".

Similar change, but to a lesser extent, can be seen in art class, decreasing to 15% 💥 GR: cấu trúc không rõ, thay bằng "A similar decline occurred in Art, dropping from 20% to 15%". In contrast, a decrease can be observed in cookery class, ranging from 14% to 19% 💥 GR: sai thông tin, thay bằng "Cookery saw an increase from 14% to 19%". Music appreciation was the least popular in 1985, with only 8% of students choosing it, however, it was eliminated from the center's curriculum 💥 VC: câu này ổn nhưng có thể ngắn gọn hơn, thay bằng "Music Appreciation, with only 8% in 1985, was discontinued".

The traffic and transportation problems in many cities are alarming. What are the causes? Should the government encourage people to live in cities rather than the suburbs or the countryside to solve this problem?

Cô ơi xem cho e bản sửa này vs ạ

BẢN NÂNG CẤP
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🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴
✨TR: 7.0; CC: 6.5; VC: 6.5; GR: 6.0✨
═══nn══════════════════════

Given the concerns surrounding traffic-related issues, questions about its root causes 💥 VC: số nhiều, "its" ám chỉ "issues" -> their root causes and solutions are hotly debated. Some point increase in private vehicle ownership 💥 GR: thiếu mạo từ, cụm ko tự nhiên -> to the increase in private vehicle ownership as a contributing factor while others suggest that relocating to rural areas may alleviate these issues. This essay will analyze their underlying reasons 💥 VC: "their" ám chỉ gì ko rõ, cần cụ thể -> these causes while also critically examine 💥 GR: sai dạng từ -> critically examining viable measures to tackle traffic problems.

At the heart of traffic congestion is a complex interplay of factors, predominantly ascribed to 💥 VC: hơi hoa mỹ, ko tự nhiên -> primarily due to the rapid increase in personal vehicle ownership. This is because rising living standards have made cars more accessible, leading to the widespread use of fuel-powered transport 💥 VC: ko sai nhưng số nhiều rõ hơn -> vehicles, which exacerbate 💥 GR: số nhiều, chủ ngữ là "use" -> exacerbates air pollution and road congestion. Additionally, the inefficient mass transit system 💥 VC: ổn, nhưng thêm mạo từ cho formal -> public transport system fails to meet residents’ needs, forcing commuters to choose personal vehicles for convenience, even if it means getting stuck in traffic. For instance, in cities like Jakarta or Manila, public buses are often overcrowded and unreliable, pushing people toward private cars.

To tackle traffic problems, the idea of relocating from urban to rural areas 💥 VC: sai ý đề bài, đề nói khuyến khích sống ở thành phố -> encouraging people to live in cities rather than suburbs or rural areas is introduced, as living near the workplacecan reduce 💥 GR: thiếu cách -> workplace can reduce commuting distance and traffic volume. However, this line of reasoning is not sensible 💥 VC: yếu, ko thuyết phục -> this approach is flawed. Overpopulation in rural areas 💥 VC: sai ý, cần sửa theo đề -> Overcrowding in cities may strain local infrastructure, compounding existing issues and creating new problems such as housing shortages or environmental degradation. Instead, the government should invest in modern and high-capacity public transport such as expanding metro systems and train networks and building dedicated bus lanes 💥 CC: liệt kê dài, cần chia câu -> high-capacity public transport. This includes expanding metro systems, train networks, and building dedicated bus lanes. By the same token 💥 VC: ko hợp ngữ cảnh -> Similarly, congestion charges and carpool incentives can also reduce traffic volume.

In conclusion, the skyrocketing rate of car usage and inadequate public transport have undeniably contributed to traffic and transportation problems. Relocating to rural areas 💥 VC: sai ý đề bài -> Encouraging rural or suburban living is not an optimal option in the long run. Instead, governments should focus on improving public transit infrastructure 💥 VC: ổn, nhưng "transport" tự nhiên hơn -> transport infrastructure to address these challenges at their root.

🚩 Các vấn đề ngữ pháp cần lưu ý:
▪️Range of sentence structures: E có câu phức, ví dụ Jakarta/Manila tốt, nhưng lặp “for instance” -> thử câu đảo ngữ. Vd: Never has public transport been so critical to urban solutions.
▪️Range of sentence tenses: Chủ yếu hiện tại đơn, ổn nhưng thiếu đa dạng -> thêm hiện tại hoàn thành. Vd: Car ownership has surged, worsening congestion.
▪️Range of grammatical constructions: Ít cấu trúc nâng cao như bị động -> thử dùng. Vd: Public transport must be modernized to ease traffic.
▪️Grammatical Accuracy: Lỗi chủ ngữ-động từ (exacerbate), mạo từ (increase in), và sai ý đề bài (relocating to rural). Đọc kỹ đề nha! Vd: The increase in car ownership exacerbates congestion.
▪️Pronoun Agreement: Lỗi “its” (issues là số nhiều), cần khớp số. Vd: Their causes must be addressed.
▪️Linking words: “Additionally, similarly” ổn, nhưng “by the same token” ko hợp -> thay moreover hoặc in addition. Vd: In addition, carpool incentives reduce traffic.
▪️Collocations: “Predominantly ascribed to”, “workplacecan” sai -> primarily due to, workplace can. Vd: Traffic issues are primarily due to car ownership.
▪️Punctuation: Ổn, nhưng thiếu phẩy vài chỗ. Vd: Being unreliable, public buses push people to cars.

BẢN NÂNG CẤP

Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life.

Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society?
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🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴
✨TR: 7.0; CC: 6.5; VC: 6.5; GR: 6.0✨
═══nn══════════════════════

Given the increasing number of people choosing to bear children in later life 💥 VC: ko sai nhưng dài dòng -> have children later in life, questions about its root causes 💥 VC: "its" ám chỉ số nhiều "questions", cần số nhiều -> their root causes and impacts on family and society have been in the spotlight. This essay will analyze the causes for 💥 VC: ko tự nhiên -> the reasons behind this trend while also critically examining diverse implications 💥 VC: ổn nhưng dài -> critically evaluating its implications.

The escalation in living standards can be primarily attributed to 💥 VC: ý ngược, cụm ko tự nhiên -> primarily contributes to delayed parenthood. In major metropolises like Tokyo,and New York 💥 Punctuation: thừa dấu phẩy -> Tokyo and New York, the ballooning cost of childcare imposes a burden on young couples, making early childbearing financially challenging. This trend is also exacerbated by work commitment 💥 VC: ko tự nhiên, số nhiều hợp hơn -> career commitments as people are likely to dedicate their prime years to establishing professional success, and having children is often perceived as a barrier to their goals. Indeed, careers demand long hours and continuous learning, leaving little room for early parenting. The combination of these factors tend not to start a family in early life 💥 GR: sai cấu trúc, ý lủng củng -> These factors discourage starting a family early. Another key factor is shifting cultural and social norms. Compared to past generations, modern societies increasingly value personal growth and life experience before parenting. Many individuals now prioritize travel, education, and self-development before settling down.

Although late childbirth has a negative influence on 💥 VC: ko tự nhiên -> poses risks to both the mother’s and the baby’s health, it would still pale in comparison with its benefits 💥 VC: dài dòng, ko thuyết phục -> these risks are often outweighed by its benefits. Modern medical advancements have significantly alleviated the potential complications 💥 VC: bỏ "the" cho tự nhiên -> potential complications associated with late pregnancy. Furthermore, families who choose to have children later in life often achieve financial security, ensuring better lives for their children, including better education and healthcare services 💥 VC: lặp từ, thay đổi -> access to superior education and healthcare. By the same token 💥 VC: ko hợp ngữ cảnh -> Similarly, older parents usually possess more life experience and emotional maturity, contributing to a more nurturing and supportive environment for their children. In terms of societal aspects, those children who receive more educational resources 💥 VC: dài dòng -> Societally, children with access to better educational resources are more likely to succeed academically, thereby fostering a more well-educated population 💥 VC: ko sai nhưng đơn giản hơn -> better-educated population. However, not everyone will achieve financial security or emotional readiness by the time they decide to start a family. While delayed parenting has its merits, it is not a one-size-fits-all solution and requires careful personal consideration.

In conclusion, postponing parenthood is ascribed to a complex interplay of factors 💥 VC: ổn nhưng lặp từ trước -> driven by a range of factors, including financial burden 💥 VC: ko sai nhưng mạnh hơn -> pressures and career aspiration 💥 GR: số nhiều hợp hơn -> aspirations. While there are concerns surrounding health risks 💥 VC: ko sai nhưng ngắn gọn hơn -> about health risks, delaying parenthood not only enables better preparation for nurturing children but it also cultivates 💥 CC: lặp cấu trúc, bỏ "it" -> enables better preparation for parenting and fosters a more well-informed society 💥 VC: ko tự nhiên -> more educated society.

🚩 Các vấn đề ngữ pháp cần lưu ý:
▪️Range of sentence structures: E có câu phức, ví dụ Tokyo/New York tốt, nhưng lặp “furthermore” -> thử câu nhấn mạnh. Vd: Rarely have financial pressures so heavily influenced family planning.
▪️Range of sentence tenses: Chủ yếu hiện tại đơn, ổn nhưng thiếu đa dạng -> thêm hiện tại hoàn thành. Vd: Career demands have long delayed parenthood for many.
▪️Range of grammatical constructions: Ít cấu trúc nâng cao như bị động -> thử dùng. Vd: Parenting decisions are increasingly shaped by economic factors.
▪️Grammatical Accuracy: Lỗi chủ ngữ-động từ (tend not), số ít/số nhiều (aspiration), và cụm lủng củng (pale in comparison). Coi lại kỹ nha! Vd: These factors discourage early parenting.
▪️Pronoun Agreement: Lỗi “its” (questions là số nhiều), cần khớp số. Vd: Their causes are widely debated.
▪️Linking words: “Furthermore, similarly” ổn, nhưng “by the same token” ko hợp -> thay moreover hoặc in addition. Vd: In addition, mature parents create supportive environments.
▪️Collocations: “Ascribed to a complex interplay”, “well-informed society” ko tự nhiên -> driven by a range of factors, educated society. Vd: Delayed parenthood is driven by financial pressures.
▪️Punctuation: Lỗi thừa phẩy (Tokyo,and) và thiếu phẩy vài chỗ. Vd: Valuing personal growth, many delay parenting.

E có lập luận rõ, ví dụ về Tokyo/New York hay, nhưng cần cụ thể hơn (vd: chi phí nuôi con bao nhiêu, tiến bộ y tế nào). Tránh lặp “better” và cụm dài dòng như “complex interplay”. Cố lên, thêm chi tiết và tự nhiên hơn là xịn!

Given the relentless march of integration around the world, questions about its global paradox are hotly debated, wherein the increasing concerns over homogeneous society. Some experts have raised fears that in the future, only one language will remain. This essay will analyze its impacts on both economy and society.

In positive light, lingua franca has driven economic growth, if not to say revolutionise the entire industries. The use of a common language allow people to access a wealth of knowledge exclusively. This is built a more intellectual workforce, which is served as a strong catalyst for economic prosperity. In addition to propel financial success, speaking the same languaguage promote mutual understanding, laying the foundation for more effective international trade and cooperation.

On the flip side, I must agree that when a language becomes endangered, so too does a cultural world view. Dominant language will replace local dialects, bringing minority community on the verge of extinction. The disappearance of a language often equates to the loss of valuable heritage, traditional knowledge, and unique cultural practices, which in turn diminishes global diversity. However, I think this is an exaggeration as the possibility of language revitalization is no mere an academic pipe dream although this task is not a small undertaking. There is a historical example of the revival of Hebrew. Despite belonging to tiny pockets, by the 20th century, Hebrew was embraced by a large number of people.

In conclusion, the use of a global language could pose a threat to cultural diversity, it could propel economic corporation and communication. In today’s technological era, preserving national identity is an achievable task.

Overall, the library has undergone a number of significant enhancements, the most important of which are the addition and redevelopment of some designated rooms and the extra educational facilities, except for the meeting room and bookshelves on the north

Regarding changes on the left-side of the library, while the meeting room stays the same, and a recording room has been built, replacing the original classroom. It is important to note that both of these places have been reduced in terms of size. A borrowing and returning desks were constructed 5 years ago, and then it has been divided into 2 seperate rooms, catering for each purpose.

As for the transformations in the center, private study tables have been added to cater for more students. There used to be two bookcases, but the bookshelf in the southern has been converted into a space for students' laptops. The east of the building also saw some changes with the desk in the north-east being turned into second area for student's laptop and he library office to the right corner of the map has been repurposed into a conference room

Whether for technology and nature, food shortage is a global concern amidst the expansion of food consumption. Yet, the debate on the precise causes remains unsolved. While some argue that technological lag is to blame, others point to natural disasters as contributing factors. This essay will analyze the triggers before proposing pre-emptive solutions on the global scale.

The failure to fulfill global food demand can be attributed to the interplay of complex factors, predominantly is the increasing frequency and severity of extreme weather events including flood, drought among others over the years that exacerbate the shrinkage of agricultural output by destroying irrigation systems and reducing the nutrient of soil. According to the Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO), agriculture in developing countries suffered 23% of all disaster-related damages. Moreover, outdated technology in farming can be ascribed to the food crisis. Unlike the industrial sector, which has benefited from rapid technological advancements, agriculture has lagged behind due to limited access to innovation. Having lacked access to essential technology, farmers have struggle to accurately forecast weather and prevent plant diseases and pest infestations. With both factors combined, we may witness agriculture painfully stretched to the limit, risking severe food insecurity.

As regards measures to combat the overwhelming rate of food consumption, we need immediate and coordinated actions to combat the looming food crisis. The first compelling step toward guaranteed crop yield is cutting-edge technology. To achieve this end, governments should allocate sufficient funding toward investments in agribots, advanced irrigation systems. Equally crucial is international cooperation as food security is a massive undertaking that no single country can solve in isolation. Developed countries can assist developing nations by facilitating access to modern farming methods, funding infrastructure projects, and supporting climate-adaptive agricultural programs. Achieving this is by no means an easy task but it is attainable with the appropriate effort.

In conclusion, the global food supply crisis is driven by a combination of environmental, technological factors. Only by global collaboration and technological support can we achieve a balance between food supply and demand.

Task 1:

The given graph compares how much money from contract each month in four distinct cell phone brands in a European country between January to September in 2002, measure in euro.

Overall, while there were upward trends can be seen in Lex, Sim TX, with a significant increase can be seen in Sim TX, the remaining brands observed decreases.

Starting in January, Domo took the lead in electronic industry, with 15 euro per month. Despite some variations, July marked the prominence of Domo’ return with an impressive price - 25 euro. While such a trend had been losing momentum, Sim TX had risen as a rivaling brand by September. Although it retained the lowest number in the cost of monthly contract among 4 brand, Sim TX became increasingly favored, from a start of merely 5% to 25%, with 3 euro per month more than Domo

Lex stood at 13 euro in January, after which it reached the bottom of 10 euro in February, and then continually climbed from February onwards. Just like Lex, that for Alpha emerged under 10 euro in January. Having exceeded Lex, however, after a promising upturn, the tendency suddenly broke, reaching just nearly 7% in September

The given graph compares how much money from contract each month in four distinct cell phone brands in a European country between January to September in 2002, measure in euro.

Overall, while there were upward trends can be seen in Lex, Sim TX, with a significant increase can be seen in Sim TX, the remaining brands observed decreases.

Starting in January, Domo took the lead in electronic industry, with 15 euro per month. Despite some variations, July marked the prominence of Domo’ return with an impressive price - 25 euro. While such a trend had been losing momentum, Sim TX had risen as a rivaling brand by September. Although it retained the lowest number in the cost of monthly contract among 4 brand, Sim TX became increasingly favored, from a start of merely 5% to 25%, with 3 euro per month more than Domo

Lex stood at 13 euro in January, after which it reached the bottom of 10 euro in February, and then continually climbed from February onwards. Just like Lex, that for Alpha emerged under 10 euro in January. Having exceeded Lex, however, after a promising upturn, the tendency suddenly broke, reaching just nearly 7% in September

The working-age population (15–64 years) and.

The elderly population (65 years and older)

The given graph illustrates the proportion of 4 selected age groups in New Zealand between 1950 and 2000 along with estimated figures for 2050.

Overall, it can be observed that while the percentages of people aged 38 to 45 and under 14 are expected to improve, an opposite trend can be seen in the remaining age brackets although the rate of elderly population is predicted to retain the highest position.

Starting in 1950, the older demographic group, especially under 65 took the precedence in New Zealand's population, with more than half of the total population roughly 60%. 1990 marked the prominence of elderly population at an impressive 70% of the total population. A similar trend, but to a lesser extent can be seen in people within the 38-45 age range, rising from 25% to a half of the total population. Meanwhile, people aged 25 to 37 made up a quarter of the total population. In contrast, those under 14, from a start of 5% to catch up with people in the working-age population, in the 25 to 37 age segment.

From 2000 onwards, shortly after a promising upturn, the percentage of two oldest groups is predicted to decline around 10%. It is expected that those under 14 will be reaching 20% while those aged 25 to 37 will be dipping significantly, with only a mere number.

Overall, a surge can be seen in the total number of visitors in Caribbean Island and there was an upward trend in the number of passengers choosing cruise ships, overtaking those of staying on island.

Starting in 2010, 75000 visitors chose to stay on the island, after which it increased to an impressive 1.5 millions of passengers. However, shortly after a prominent upturn, the number of visitors staying on island came to a halt until 2015 while vocationers on cruise ships increased remarkably, surpassed those passengers on cruise ships in mid-2015 and marked a peak of 2 million passengers in 2017.

Visitors in both fields contributed to the surge in the number of people traveling to Caribbean island, from a start of 1 million in 2010, increased to 2.75 millions of visitors before stablising with a final increase to a high of nearly three times higher than the initial number.

Overall: tất cả tăng ( đặc biệt hiking)

1980s-2000s

Most popular: watching TV

Least: surfing the Internet

Reading X theatre

2000s-2010s

Reading+surfing (non-physical activities): tăng mạnh

Watching TV: giảm (trong khi tất cả tăng)

The given graph illustrates the proportion of 5 selected recreational activities which elderly people in US had done between 1980s and 2010s. Overall it can be observed that while the percentage of 5 surveyed activities had improved relatively, that for hiking had been much more remarkable.

Starting in 1980s, more than half of seniors chose watch TV in their free time, after which it increased to an impressive 70% in 2000s. Meanwhile, the percentage of elderly people going to the threatre witnessed a decline in the trend, at 30% in 1990s, overtook by those who chose hiking, although 2000s made a recovery. In contrast, the proportion of seniors choosing reading in the leisure time, from a start of 30%, rose to 40% in 1990s, after which it plummeted to 20% in 2000s. Surfing the Internet was the least preferred activity throughout 2 decades

Over the next decade, while watching TV lost momentrum, hiking became increasingly popular, rising from 20% to 80%, and retained its position as the most favored activity. A significantly larger number of senior citizens chose non-physical activities, with surfing the Internet and reading increasing to 60% and 50% in 2010s, respectively.

Overall: had improved relatively, that for fresh fruit had been much more remarkable.

Body 1: fresh fruit X carbonated drink

Body 2: sugar and candy: followed by a same trend!!!!

The given graph compares the changes in prices in the USA of three distinct food categories and the general consumer-price index. Overall, these categories had improved relatively, that for fresh fruit had been much more remarkable.

Starting in 1979, all of three surveyed products started at the same point, at nearly 60%. Yet, until 1989, the number of fresh fruits and vegetables witnessed a clear increase. Despite some variations, 2007 marked the prominence of 340. In contrast, carbonated drinks saw only a modest rise throughout the period, ending slightly above 150.

After small fluctuations, the changes in price of sugar and candy saw a consistent upward trend, ending at 200. Similar change, but a greater extent can be seen in the overall consumer-price index, which rose more significantly, reaching roughly 220 by the end of the period.

One interesting change is that a pier was constructed to give entrance to the island. Footpath and vehicle track was built, allowing visitors to reach most parts of the island. A reception was placed in the center of the island, connected to both the pier and a restaurant via the vehicle track. Accomodation structures located and arranged around a circular footpath. Also, additional accommodations with the same design were also built to the left of the reception, with more houses.

Regarding the remaining traits, the East, occupied by most of the island’s natural features, was the only area that remained unaltered. Meanwhile, a beach on the west of the map was nearly untouched and was designated as a swimming area to cater for recreational activities.

Both governments and individuals are spending a large amount of money on protecting animals and their habitat. This money should be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and health care. Discussion

Given the importance of the environment, the questions about proper allocation of public funds are hotly debated. Many people believe that investing in natural preservation is a worthwhile use of public funds, as it helps maintain biodiversity and protect animals, while others think otherwise, contending that addressing basic human needs, such as health and education should take precedence. This essay will analyze these differing views before presenting my view, which holds that the key lies not in favoring one over other, but rather in striking a balance that ensures holistic societal progress.

Proponents of investment in animal protection often tout the role of animals and their habitats in ecological balance. Due to the use of pesticides, bees are on the brink of extinction. The loss of bee pollination would devastate ecosystems and agriculture, disrupting the food chain and threatening both biodiversity and food security. While the risk of animal extinction may not happen immediately, the potential for it highlights the importance of providing financial support for animal welfare. That is not to mention the economic value wildlife conservation can bring for a country as it creates jobs and spurs tourism. Even if these benefits are not as tangible as those in other industries, they are no less valuable in the long run.

On the flip side, opponents of animal protection maintain that its benefits would pale in importance compared to other pressing issues such as health, education. They believe that a fixation on the environment alone can lead to neglecting other vital necessities. That holds true for many developing and underdeveloped countries like Asia and Africa where are rife with hunger and illiteracy. Unless basic needs are satisfied, the allocation on the environment should be secondary to them.

In conclusion, as with many other budgetary matters, the debate over animal conservation is not about favoring one over the other but about understanding societal priorities instead. As long as the government and individuals can ensure the entire community will stand to benefit.

Whether for community welfare or societal progress, the importance of healthcare is undisputed. Yet the question of responsibility for covering such services remains highly contested. Some believe that private healthcare offers premium medical services and shorter waitlists, while others contend that healthcare is a fundamental human need and should be made available for everyone. From my perspective, although I acknowledge that the universal provision of healthcare contributes to social equality, private hospitals can provide a more personalized experience.

My argument aligns with the timeless adage: “You will get what you pay for”. The case for maintaining for private healthcare is most compelling when we consider the personalized treatments that are exclusive to those who afford for this system. Patients receiving treatment in private institutions can access to advanced facilities and highly-trained expertise without a long delay. That is not to mention a more comfortable and patient-centered environment compared to public counterparts. Given those demands, the government’s limited resources make it unrealistic.

On the flip side, the argument against private institutions is rooted in concerns over accessibility and equity. Yet, this assumption is superficial as nothing free is truly beneficial without a hidden cost. public hospitals tend to be overcrowded and suffer from resource shortages, leading to longer waiting times for patients. Unless the government can ensure adequate facilities, social inequality will persist.

In conclusion, although it is essential to achieving social equality by running hospitals accessible for everyone, private hospitals can bring personalized experience for patients. Only if the government can provide adequate facilities and resources will patients seek treatment from the private sector.

Achievement at work

Different:

(people under 30): having a good appearance + traveling (độ tuổi này vẫn mải chơi!!!)

people over 30: being with family+financial security

The given charts illustrate the results of a survey regarding the main sources of happiness among different age groups. Overall, people under 30 thường ưu tiên bản thân và thích travel trong khi people over 30 mong muốn a stable life and stay with their family. However, doing hobbies and receiving success at work chiếm tỉ lệ cao nhất trong khảo sát.

Regarding similarities in both age groups,