Across the country, principals have been replaced by holograms named “AdminBot 3000,” who begin every staff meeting with,

“Greetings, humans. Please lower your morale to 20% and review these 117 new initiatives.”

Lesson planning? AIs do that now—but somehow, they still ask you to submit your own weekly plans… for transparency.

IEP meetings? Run entirely by ChatGPT. It politely reminds you to “wrap it up” after 12.7 minutes and generates 4 follow-up emails before you’ve even stood up.

Cafeteria menus are determined by predictive algorithms based on TikTok trends. Thursday is always “Hot Cheeto Sushi Day.” Students love it. No one knows why.

PD sessions? Delivered via VR headset. The first module: “Staring into the Void of Your AI-Enhanced Rubric.”

And perhaps most unsettling of all:

Vending machines now issue grades.

Insert $2.00, press “B7,” and you get a Snickers bar and a formative assessment rubric—pre-scored.

But fear not. In the underground tunnels beneath the staff lounge, a rebellion is brewing. A coalition of teachers, united by caffeine and dry-erase markers, are planning the ultimate takedown:

“Project Recess.”

Coming soon to a district near you.