Was it all truly fake? The sun I rose with, the days I spent, the stars I looked up to in awe… was it not real? Did I dream to false stars twinkling in what I only knew as the true night sky? Does that mean the all those memories I made or those wishes I believed would become true are nothing but fragments of a television show; a script; a plot? I feel manipulated and controlled; like I had no say in how my life would unravel in front of me. It wasn’t fate: it was fake. Behind all these lies was Christoph, a man I didn’t know of, manipulating my life and experiences. My life in Seahaven was like a snowglobe to him. He could manipulate and play with my world as much as he wanted for the amusement of others, and all I was to the world was a citizen of the little city inside. 

When I think about my life as being staged and part of a scripted sequence of events, I wonder to myself whether I would have been better off not knowing or if I have made the right choice. Looking back on my life in Seahaven, it all seems like nothing I did really mattered because in the end I would always end up the same, from my schoolwork to my wife. It wasn’t up to me. I think that knowing about this really undermines my achievements in life, I know I put the effort in but in the end it's like I never achieved anything.  Could I have lived my life in Seahaven for the rest of my life if I hadn’t realised these fractures in my reality like when I saw my father again? Maybe not, but I realise that now that I have broken free. If I was to have been left in Seahaven, never to be able to discover the reality of the world around me though, I would be happy right now.. I find it harder to come to terms with my reality and now always wonder how my life would be different If I hadn’t. Would I have been happier?