https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5 Text that I improved. Remember to either sign-in using Google or write your name. No name equals no credit!!! en-us 2017-10-02 18:50:56 UTC 2021-11-10 00:53:29 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1825090628 The section that I made better was: A huge wave of water hit against my eardrum making a loud explosion of noise. It felt as if a hurricane was in my ear. I screamed at the top of my lungs, “STOP, STOP”.]]> 2021-10-18 19:03:28 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1825090628 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1825441206 The section that I made better was the starting sentence. It used to be ¨The car pulled into the parking stop but i changed it to ¨ The brake lights exploded with light illuminating the stopper in front of it, I glanced at my little white palms twitching like a fish out of water.¨ ]]> 2021-10-18 22:41:56 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1825441206 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1825496957 The section that I tired to make better and add description to was, "The cold droplets hit the grounds, turning the dirt into a brown mud, making the mud splash onto my shoes. My vibrant white shoes slowly turned a slight mud color. " ]]> 2021-10-18 23:28:57 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1825496957 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1828004739 The part that I changed is "I was crying" to "The tears slipping down my cheeks and the salty taste into my mouth."]]> 2021-10-19 17:32:48 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1828004739 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1828297999 One of the sections I made better was,
"With his big luminous green eyes, long smokey colored tail, his small gray and black body, and his pointed cone-shaped ears, everything was perfect"]]> 2021-10-19 19:28:21 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1828297999 2125168 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1829050129 One thing that I changed was ¨he cried¨ to ¨My dad's soft green eyes glistened against the light, and a single tear streamed down his face. ¨]]> 2021-10-20 02:10:56 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1829050129 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1830463080  I stomped off to my room with rage with the lines of stinky oder coming off of me like in a cartoon.]]> 2021-10-20 14:01:30 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1830463080 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1830496233 Something I changed was "I tripped a lot but that never resulted in anything serious." → "I had fallen a lot, but that never resulted in anything serious."]]> 2021-10-20 14:10:14 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1830496233 2126400 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1830500672 I had “I sat down feeling weird and felt something dripping down my face.” and changed it to "I sat up feeling unusual and felt a liquid flooding down the entire left side of my face."

]]> 2021-10-20 14:11:21 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1830500672 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1830643792 I had ¨Lesson is to know the good life from the bad people and bad life¨ then I changed it to ¨Lesson is to know the bright clouds from the dark clouds and not to get caught up in a storm and an illusion. ¨ ]]> 2021-10-20 14:49:20 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1830643792 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1830692873 I learned that you story will be better then you have word choice. Such as when i added more information n what the weather was like. ]]> 2021-10-20 15:02:46 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1830692873 2173568 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1831278116 I looked down, I didn't even feel the pain yet, I looked at my finger and saw my dark red blood trickling down my arm and a knife shining in the light with my blood]]> 2021-10-20 18:11:33 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1831278116 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1831381208 It sat on my dresser and normally I keep it blowing continually, because my room is like a furnace, but right now it was too loud to let me hear anything.]]> 2021-10-20 18:52:31 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1831381208 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1831428409 I had "the bright yellow sun shined brightly against my back" I turned it into "The sun was as yellow as a lemon. It shined so brightly onto my back that it felt like there was a lighter being held up against my back" ]]> 2021-10-20 19:12:42 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1831428409 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1834496961  I then took off like a lighting bolt. A light bulb idea hit my brain. ]]> 2021-10-21 19:04:51 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1834496961 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1835239483 I changed ¨what kept me aware was my uneven hair" to  "What kept my eyes awake was the small trickle of my natural bangs that wouldn't fit in my weave and braided hair no matter how much water I put on my scalp."

]]> 2021-10-22 02:29:03 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1835239483 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1835498581 I changed "smart" to "clever"]]> 2021-10-22 04:54:37 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1835498581 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1835514355 avoiding his bull-like charge]]> 2021-10-22 05:06:23 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1835514355 2123387 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1842706328 I changed, "ran" to "dashed"]]> 2021-10-25 18:44:03 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1842706328 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1843095613 I changed "We walked down the stairs to "We plunged down the stairs." ]]> 2021-10-25 22:00:41 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1843095613 2096688 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1846542081 I changed run to sprinted]]> 2021-10-27 00:02:36 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1846542081 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1847026675 She was nice. ---> She was quite pleasant.]]> 2021-10-27 03:23:02 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1847026675 https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1879840836 i was scared to get out- i was being cautious ]]> 2021-11-10 00:53:29 UTC https://padlet.com/blhunter1/a3oq5s9ndh5/wish/1879840836