I moved into the house I am currently living in 5 years ago. At first I was extremely infuriated at my parents for making us move. Although where I currently live is only 15-20 minutes away from where I used to live I still feel so disconnected from life. My only friends lived 2 minutes away and now I had to be driven to get to their house from mine. I became very discouraged and lonely because I could no longer run to my friends house to have fun. All I had was my sister and although I cared about her deeply it still didn’t suit my desires. I felt bound to those friends and they were toxic and made me feel that It was my fault that it was hard to move. I was lonely and that forced me to explore the new area and be open to new things. I could try to be free without being bound to those toxic and upsetting friends.

I quickly found myself exploring now that I was free and out of control. I started to explore the yard surrounding my house and explored the forest located behind my house. 

The woods lurked with mysterious sounds and creatures. I think that was what called me into it but yet outs also petrified me to go there. The coyotes howled in terror as they caught and ripped open their prey for a midnight feast. Blankets of poison ivy covered the rotting logs lying on the first floor. Many other creatures like bears and bob-cats lurked in the woods wondering where they could find their next snack. Despite all the danger I still wanted to ruin free and avoid all of my problems.

I never wanted to let myself explore or go on adventures because I was sure that  I would do something that I would regret for the rest of my life or that I would get hurt and that all of life's problems would be blamed on me. I was so used to being accused and blamed for things that I did not do by my so-called friends that I forgot that not everything was my fault.

I did what I held back from doing and wanted to avoid and I explored, adventured and let m,ysl;ef be free while in the woods that day. I didn't let others control me and hold me back. I learned from myself that I had to be my own unique person.

I started dancing at Connecticut Dance School when I was four. At the young age of four I was a very social person and found it easy to talk to people. I made new friends instantly and became friends with most people in the class. My friends have changed constantly. Some who I miss dearly and some that I wish to never see their faces again. 

I have been friends with and betrayed by many people. When I am left behind, those people take a part of me with them. The part that let me trust them and open up to them. As I have aged I have slowly displayed as more introverted and quiet. I don’t like to open up to people anymore because of my past experiences. I sense that every time that I am open and share about myself with someone, I am spontaneously abandoned and forgotten about. 

 Despite many of my other friends that left me when things got stressful and complicated, one friend named Maelen has now stuck by me through thick and thin and has truly helped me connect with myself and my thoughts. She is notably positive and has helped me boost my self-confidence. She is continually supporting others. When I am feeling dispirited and struggling to do something, she reminds me that everybody has bad days and we just have to power through them. Together we have learned that instead of giving up it is important to power through the hard times and to stay positive and channel that emotion and passion into dancing and trying even harder.

 I have tried to learn to channel my emotions into dance. When I channel my emotions into dance It helps me cope with those scenarios and emotions and become even more passionate about dance. When I channel my emotions into my dancing My thoughts are a lot clearer and I can remember and communicate easier and be more imaginative when I am dancing. 

But one thing has remained the same, my love and passion for dance. Dance has brought me through thick and thin and helped me get through hard times in my life. I have become more creative and passionate and when dancing this creativity and passion helps to show the story and make the dancing not only very emotional and stress relieving for myself but also for the audience watching me. This has helped shape my personality and has influenced who I am today.