www.rosematthewsresearch.com 

It represents how I feel post menopause: 
More grounded and surer of myself. 
Occupying space.
Not giving way.  

It reminds me of Lucille Clifton’s poem: “Homage to My Hips”* 

When you look at it, what do you see? 

*https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/49487/homage-to-my-hips

Nature nurtures me. I lost touch with its healing powers in the maelstrom of mid-life, but reconnecting in old age saved me. I am a wild child*, escaped from captivity. 

https://blog.dubraybooks.ie/2021/07/10/wild-child-by-dara-mcanulty/ 

It’s taken me decades to work out why this is, and I’m still learning from other people’s experiences, like Amy Richards’.   

NB: you don’t always have to untie knots, there are some you can just cut! 

I had no idea I was in perimenopause or how this affected my sensory sensitivities. 

Was I getting more sensitive or no longer putting up with the discomfort I’d forced myself to endure for years? Probably both. 

I was stuck and couldn’t get free. 

The only common denominator in these situations appeared to be me; so unsurprisingly I started to blame myself.  

Living with autism without knowing: diagnosis in later life - Stagg & Belcher 

I felt frozen inside. 

There was so much in my past that traumatised me. 

There was so much in my future that frightened me. 

But during my hibernation I began to heal. 

 Wintering — KATHERINE MAY (katherine-may.co.uk) 

The glimmer of hope was undeniable. 

I began to feel more alive. 

I had just enough energy to go searching for answers.

I didn’t know that I was Autistic and that these were meltdowns. My behaviour was interpreted as potentially criminal. 

With hindsight I can see that I met the criteria for PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder). Like many other aspects of my life, I’d assumed this was a failing in me. 

Menstruation and menopause in autistic adults: Periods of importance? - Annabeth P Groenman et al 

I was flooded with emotions, excitement, joy, disbelief, amazement, gratitude, relief. Not only had I found myself, I had also found my people. 

‘We Are Proud Autistic Women’ (by Kristy Forbes) Einhverfusamtokin463

It has been a terrible struggle at times. 
Sometimes it still is. 

Letting go of what doesn’t work for me. 
Embracing sensory joy.                     
Practising self-care. 

The onset of perimenopause put me under even greater pressure, and after a decade of struggling it broke me.  

'When my autism broke': A qualitative study spotlighting autistic voices on menopause - Rachel Moseley et al. 

It has also helped me to cope with the added strain of going through menopause. 

I find joy in nature, in the company of my dogs, in the clothes that I wear, and the food that I eat. Sensory joy.   

I wear it to celebrate being Autistic and non-binary, in solidarity with those who don’t feel safe disclosing their identity. 

I feel pride about being openly Autistic and try to use this to combat stigma.  

Like this tiny glass dome, which gives me so much joy whenever I hold it. It is the essence of a rainbow made tangible. 

This is the flip side of my unpleasant sensory sensitivities. 

My Autism diagnosis led to a new career as an Autism researcher, which has helped me to feel far more capable.   

Understanding structural barriers helped me to overcome internalised ableism.   

Avoiding miscommunication is easier now I can explain my Autistic communication differences and ask for accommodations. 

 The ‘double empathy problem’: Ten years on - Damian Milton, Emine Gurbuz, Beatriz López, 2022 (sagepub.com)

I was over 60, but HRT was still an option. Alternative treatments exist but are sometimes neglected, which they shouldn’t be (some people can’t use HRT).   

I’ve been on enlightening journeys, connecting with deeper aspects of myself, exploring my place in the bigger scheme of things, from suicidality into hope again.  

Journal_of_Ecohumanism_ Empathy_with_Nature_and_an_Autistic_Spirituality_Anna_Nygren 

No one who expresses suicidality should be denied support from mental health professionals simply because they’re seen to have mental capacity. That’s neglect.

 A systematic review and meta-analysis of suicidality in autistic and possibly autistic people | Victoria Newell et al.,|

Then I remembered the Buddhist concept that everything is broken already. 

Flaws and imperfections make us human.   I try to embrace and accept mine. Self-acceptance and self-compassion follow.  

How My Autism Diagnosis and Self-Compassion Saved Me by Jessica Penot | The Art of Autism 

I’m doing this for future generations, and for the natural world I inhabit, which has given me such solace and sanctuary.

We decided to invite people to make creative submissions as well as taking part in focus groups, interviews, and an online survey. Some people can express their thoughts and feelings better this way.

Rachel’s papers on Autistic menopause are there, along with plain English summaries and short video explanations. There’s also a page with links to other sources of information and support: 

www.scienceonthespectrum.net  

The research I am doing connects powerfully with my lived experience of undiagnosed Autism and difficult perimenopause (but this isn’t true for all). There are lighter moments too, like when I discovered this wonderful art work called ‘Period Pantones’ by Hazel Mead.   

I’m so glad that Autistic menopause is finally beginning to be decoded by researchers. Here is one of the articles that helped to save my life:  

Stimming to self-regulate was an important part of my childhood. I gave up as a teenager to avoid being bullied. It took me 40+ years and an Autism diagnosis to learn how to stim again.  

Advocating asks for change, activism insists on it, and when it comes to Autistic menopause let’s not forget about intersectionality and cultural differences.   

Seven years ago, before I knew I was Autistic, I talked to some sixth formers about Autism in a neurodiversity-affirmative way. One of them made something intricate while we spoke, then gave me this tiny origami horse. 

How to Be a Great Ally to the Autistic Community - reframingautism.org.au   

My GP suggested time travel as a possible solution. That didn’t seem funny to me.  

If they had understood Autism (or perimenopause) they could have helped me so much more. 

Sharing experiences with other Autistic people has gifted me such helpful insights. Some of us struggle, others sail through. 

This Autistic led longitudinal research study into Autism from Menstruation to Menopause may help to explain why.

Artist Cate Osborne @Catrinosborne toured a photographic exhibition which is going to become a book, showing just how different menopause can look. 

Access to resources social norms and intersectionality have a big influence on how we make this key transition.
 

'Everything you need to embrace the change' Deborah Jermyn 

You can pose questions on Twitter / X and other channels by using the hashtag #AskingAutistics

Some Autistic people who post on social media use #ActuallyAutistic  

Other frequently used hashtags include: 

#AuDHD (Autistic and ADHD) 

#ADHD #ADHDers