Instead, I stayed polite, encouraged communication, and acted calm even when I was frustrated internally. This is an example of emotion management because I had to control and adjust my outward emotional reactions to fit the social expectations of teamwork and professionalism. Sociologists explain that people often manage their emotions in social settings to maintain relationships, avoid tension, or meet expectations connected to certain roles.

Even though I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and unsure of how to calm the situation quickly, I had to stay calm, speak in a gentle voice, and show patience so I wouldn’t escalate the child’s emotions further. I also had to keep a positive and caring expression, even though internally I was a little stressed and nervous about handling it correctly in front of other staff and children.

This is an example of emotion management because I had to control and adjust my outward emotional expression to match what was expected in that workplace role. Instead of showing frustration or anxiety, I performed calmness and reassurance in order to maintain a supportive environment for the child and follow professional expectations.

I also experienced something similar living in residence last year which was my first year living away from home.  Adjusting to living with roommates, being around so many people all the time, managing noise and disruptions and dealing with homesickness all required emotion management.  There were many times that I felt overwhelmed and anxious, but I presented myself as completely fine to avoid conflicts and keep my living situation positive.  In both situations, I had to manage my emotions internally so that they conformed with what I believe is expected externally which are good examples of managing emotions to fit social norms. 

Reacting to the customers during these conflicts could’ve got me fired, so it wasn't worth it.

Emotional management is not only something I practice, but something I actively teach. I help students develop skills for self-regulation by modeling and guiding them through co-regulation first. As discussed in the module, co-regulation is essential before individuals can independently manage their emotions.

Many of the students I work with have not yet developed emotional management skills due to their experiences at the micro level (such as family or immediate environments). Within the school setting, the meso level, they are exposed to new behavioural norms and begin to observe, learn, and integrate these expectations into their own lives. In my role, this means I must consistently manage my own emotional responses, even in stressful or crisis situations, in order to model appropriate regulation.

One situation in my life where I have to provide emotion management is when I am at work. There has been many times when customers will be rude, disrespectful or impatient with me. This then leads me to feel super frustrated but even when I feel these emotions, I have to stay professional while helping them so I do not cause conflict or problems at work. I normally will then manage my emotions by controlling my tone of voice and my facial expressions. This is an example of emotional management because I am adjusting my own emotions to fit social rules and maintain professionalism at work.

-Skyler Findlay

One situation that I had to show emotion management is when my Nursing Community Clinical Group went to Honduras as part of our Community Outreach in a different country. Our CI (Clinical Instructor) liked to be negative and beat down on her students consistently, even when it was unnecessary. There were many times where she had become rude or disrespectful with something that was not done perfectly correct, even when it was done to her standard (she changed the goalpost everytime she spoke).

One time, we were having a daily meeting on a rooftop in a hostel in Tegucigalpa, with my peers and I giving feedback on the day. These meetings including time for reflection, advice, and speaking candidly on events or feelings. One of my peers and I were speaking about something important that had happened and were reflecting to our group, when she stops us abruptly by answering a phone call in the middle of the sentence. She then proceeds to have a full-blown phone call while we all sat in silence and looked at eachother with mixtures of confusion, shock and amusement that a lady with such strict rules would break her own rule of no phones during these times, as it was distracting.

When she was done with her phonecall, she stared at us like we had 18 heads (out of confusion maybe), and proceeds to yell at us (me and my peer) infront of others in the group about how WE were the unprofessional ones for stopping the conversation and being nosy about things that "did not concern us" when we asked about why she did that. Moral of the story, I had to control a lot of my emotions when around her because she was not conducive to a healthy emotional mindset by staying professional while being very frustrated internally, not being able to speak up in fear of retalliation.

• Hannah Slessor

• Maddie Nelson

Rather, I had to deliberately control my feelings by remaining composed, speaking courteously, and demonstrating compassion for the client. Even though I didn't directly create the problem, I concentrated on keeping a cordial tone, paying close attention, and expressing regret for the difficulty. Following the encounter, I came to understand that emotion management entailed regulating my external emotional responses in order to adhere to workplace standards and maintain a professional atmosphere.

I learned from this experience that people frequently control their emotions in different ways depending on the social context. Certain positions or situations need people to show themselves calmly and professionally even while they are internally anxious.

In addition, I am responsible for organizing, planning, and running events, which often requires balancing the expectations and needs of many different people at once. When complaints arise, I do my best to remain open-minded and create an understanding environment where guests and cottage owners feel listened to and respected. I have also dealt with situations involving guests whose behaviour made others uncomfortable. In those situations, I have had to manage my frustration while still remaining stern and professional in addressing inappropriate behaviour.

• Abigail

One example of a situation in which I exhibited emotional management was during my communication with a customer. I took their order, and they told me that they wanted rye bread instead of white bread. However, after reading the order back to them, I mistakenly mentioned white bread. The customer became upset because, from their perspective, they had clearly said “rye.” What I did not explain to the customer was that, because of the language barrier between us, I genuinely had difficulty understanding him.

Toronto is a multicultural city, meaning people from many different backgrounds and cultures live here. In addition, Toronto and the Greater Toronto Area are home to many immigrants. I myself am the child of someone who immigrated from another country. As a person who was born in Canada, English is my first language because the educational system in this country teaches children English from a young age.

In The Social Construction of Reality, Peter L. Berger and Thomas Luckmann state that, “The reality of everyday life is taken for granted as reality” (Berger & Luckmann, 1966, p. 4). In other words, what is considered a “social norm” or “normal” in society is only viewed that way because people collectively accept it as such. In this case, because of history and colonization, English is my first language, but it was not the customer’s first language. As a result, my understanding of “rye” sounded like “white.” This does not mean that either person in this scenario had poor communication or comprehension skills. Rather, it demonstrates that the English language can sound different depending on the individual speaking it. The belief that English should sound a certain way when spoken is a socially constructed idea that can be harmful. This is why, regardless of how I interpreted what the customer said, emotional control was imperative in handling the situation professionally.

I often think no one understands a person or tries to understand one from their perspective; everything seems so conditional even though there is an idea that unconditional love exists in this socially constructed world. Even now, I continue trying to make my partner understand my emotional difficulties, but I often feel unheard and misunderstood. I try to regulate and manage emotions through deep conversations and open communication, but it seems that my efforts are temporary and situational because the same criticism and misunderstandings return and make me question myself; why my perspective is not fully understood despite putting in all the effort?

The moments that hit the hardest were during the festivals like Diwali or family gatherings back home.When I think about it I am just a video call away but the reality is that it is thousands of kilometers and that distance hits differently than I expected. During those times all I wanted was to drop everything and go back to my parents but that was never really an option.

The toughest part for me has been not being able to see my family for three years and whenever we are on a video call I work really hard to seem fine and act normal because I don’t want them to worry about me.

Even after feeling all the mixed emotions, I still have to wake up the next morning, go to class and act like everything is completely fine, even when there's always this pressure to look like I am doing okay, especially when everyone around me seems so happy. While I am questioning the decision of coming here.

I often think about where my home is now because when I went back that one summer, things felt different and the life I have been building here for three years has quietly become a part of me.

Tvishaa Desai

My experience can be considered an example of emotion management since in such situations, one is expected to control and regulate one's own emotions to align with job requirements. Instead of letting me be myself and express how I really feel in such instances, I managed my emotions to be what I should be to fit into the role of the customer service provider.

There have been times when I felt embarrassed or anxious about asking teachers or classmates to repeat themselves because I did not want to feel different from everyone else. Even when I feel frustrated or overwhelmed, I try to stay calm and focused in class. I continue trying my best, use my accommodations and technology, and ask questions when I need help.

This is an example of emotion management because I often have to control my emotions and stay positive even when school feels challenging because of my hearing disability. Instead of showing my frustration or giving up, I try to manage my feelings so I can continue learning and participating in school.

I might display a neutral/calm face, listen, but do not cut into the conversation and I try to guide the conversation to avoid a heated one. I knew that if I expressed myself truthfully about how I feel, the conversation might become more uncomfortable, so, I managed how I externalize my feelings to comply with the social expectation of a peaceful gathering. this situation was an example of emotion management because i have to actively control and regulated how i displayed my feelings and this is not the same as how i actually feel so i have to adjust my presentation of how i feel towards a certain social setting particularly as i felt I would create an un comfortable atmosphere if I had shown how i felt.

Something that helped me overcome this was being mindful of customers' circumstances and remembering the reality of their struggles. To take the blame out of the situation was a matter of my emotional liberation as well as theirs. Since their circumstances were not their fault, their behaviour towards me wasn't mine. As a young woman entering the workforce for the first time, I found it hard to depersonalize these situations, but actively practicing empathy was a powerful step. This helped me stay in my job and overcome my issues while adhering to store policy and being the best I could be given my circumstances.

--Graham

- Olivia Dixon

It took emotion management for me to calmly interact with this man as he was being rude and aggressive for a mistake that was not due to any of the staff working. It was a challenge some days to not engage in the same behaviour you would be presented with, especially when they insult the staff as people. In order to be able to remain calm and professional while I was serving I often had to engage in emotional labour. After this particular instance, and many others I went into the walk-in freezer and screamed for roughly two minutes to release my frustration. This was my go to method while on shift. Outside of work I would lift weights and meditate to ensure I was regulated when going into my shifts.

When I worked as a Child & Youth Worker I had to deal with emotional management daily with different ages of children and/or teenagers in a group home. As soon as I was on the floor monitoring and mentoring, I had to keep my own personal emotions and opinions to myself. When dealing with the emotional behaviour of the youth, you have to stick to the policies that the workplace has in place on how to handle certain situations. I personally would not agree with some of the policies in place as it does not always apply to every youth.

As youth get older, and their hormone levels begin to increase, sometimes they're not able to process their emotions or behaviour as well as another youth the same age. Resulting in behavioural issues. An example would be lashing out and being aggressive when they don't get their own way. You come across youth where the circumstances they were brought up in are the source of their emotional and behavioural issues; and you could never blame it on them. However, I had to stick to my "guns" and ensure the youth are following the rules for a safe and respectful environment within the group home.

There were for sure times when I felt annoyed, stressed, and tired, especially because we would sleep at 11 and wake up at 4 to set up and get everything ready for the day. Mixing that with personal day-to-day problems and work, it was a recipe for disaster without managing my emotions. No matter what, I was not going to allow myself to show this in a negative way. My father always told us, as a surgeon who works 16 hours a day, to come back to 5 kids, he had to tell himself not to get frustrated constantly or to shout. This is something I learned from him and maintained in my internships and volunteer experience. It meant I had to set the tone for the group and respond with patience instead of anger or frustration.

I also had to manage my emotions when dealing with conflicts between kids or when someone was acting out. Even if I personally felt upset by the behaviour, I had to prioritise keeping the environment safe, respectful, and welcoming. This experience taught me that emotion management is important in leadership because people often look to you for stability, especially when they are younger or still learning how to manage their own emotions.

It is very important to model emotional control because children learn by example, therefore showing them how to manage frustration or stress helps them internalize healthy ways to respond when they experience their own difficult moments. Even when I am dealing with my own worries, school responsibilities or everyday pressures, I try to maintain a calm environment for my children. This does not mean pretending that everything is perfect, but it does mean I need to be mindful of how my emotions can affect my response and to ensure my children never feel responsible for my emotions. To me, this is a strong example of emotion management because I am in a constant balancing act with what I feel internally and how to mindfully express my emotions.

During this busy period, I experienced feelings of stress and frustration due to the constant demands and the need to manage multiple responsibilities at the same time. However, despite these emotions, I consciously regulated my reactions and maintained a calm and professional attitude when interacting with team members. I ensured that I responded in a supportive manner rather than expressing frustration or becoming aggressive, as maintaining a positive and functional work environment was important for overall team performance. This situation reflects the concept of emotion management, where individuals control and adjust their emotional expressions to meet workplace expectations. In this case, I had to manage my emotions carefully in order to remain professional, avoid conflict, and ensure that the work environment remained stable and productive even under pressure. 

-Janvi Patel

One situation in which I have had to engage in emotion management is while working in customer service. There were times when I felt stressed, frustrated, or exhausted, but I still had to present myself as friendly and positive when interacting with customers. Even if I was having a difficult day, I was expected to smile, remain professional, and provide good service. 

Another example is when I am around friends or family members while dealing with personal struggles. There have been times when I felt overwhelmed, anxious, or upset, but I did not want others to worry about me. Instead, I acted cheerful and told people that everything was fine even when I was having a difficult time. In these situations, I was managing my emotions in order to meet social expectations and maintain positive interactions with others.

This can be connected to Goffman's concept of impression management. People often try to control how others see them by presenting a certain image of themselves. In my case, I sometimes present myself as calm, confident, and happy even when I may be feeling something completely different internally.

That was when I had to learn how to manage my emotions, even though I shouldn't have been put in that position in the first place. The anxiety I got every day walking through those doors made me learn to take deep breaths and regulate my emotions so I wouldn’t get mad immediately if someone said something mean to me or burst into tears in front of everyone. I kept my head up, refused to give them the reaction they were looking for, and reminded myself that their words didn't define who I was. 

As I got older, my environment at school also improved. As we matured, some of the individuals who were mean to me in middle school apologized for how they treated me, which I know takes a lot of courage and humility to do, so it meant a lot to me. My experiences led me to learn how to regulate my emotions and understand the importance of thinking before acting.

 I find myself doing this the most when meeting new people. Being myself in a new environment can be rewarding, but it’s also high-pressure(or maybe that's just because I'm an introvert). There are definitely days when things feel sideways, and I can't let it show in the room I'm in. 

So, I perform a bit of masking and sometimes force myself to put on a calm, collected, and optimistic face. I find this active choice to shift from what I’m actually feeling to what the situation needs me to project, or more so, who I need to be in the moment, helps make it real. It isn't so much about being fake; it is more about maintaining an internal environment.

Looking back, it’s interesting how much energy goes into managing our emotions to make sure we show up a certain way to the people around us. We are always adapting our internal state to match our external roles. Social structures are clearly a huge part of how we navigate our daily lives, whether we deny it or not. 

Deezy

There comes a time when a call is just too difficult and too upsetting for the Agent. It could even be that the Caller is experiencing a traumatic event, in which case they have probably lost all form of rational thought and will speak to you in the most aggressive and disrespectful way. I have to work through the aggressive and disrespectful call and provide a professional response.

Even though I feel stress, frustration, and sympathy internally, I have to keep my emotions under control and my professional tone for the entire interaction. This guaranteed that we uphold our value and our commitment to consistently and respectfully serving all callers, regardless of how difficult and upsetting the situation is.

I have to keep my professional and personal emotions apart, which is another excellent example of feeling and controlling emotions in the scope of work-related activities. -Saron Woldeyesus