Scientific writing by Harry Björkbacka https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no BIMK90 VT22 en-us 2022-02-03 04:37:09 UTC 2022-02-04 05:56:26 UTC hello@padlet.com Fråga 1 https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027146183 a) Abuse of hedging, lack of clarity and brevity.

b) In our estimation, 12-18% of tissue dependent inter-species differences in gene expression could be explained partly by changes in DNA methylation patterns. ]]> 2022-02-03 09:51:30 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027146183 Fråga 1 kl4814las https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027151161 Vi tycker att hedging är överanvänt. 
Saknar clairity, inte koncis 

Förslag på förbättring: Depending on the tissue, we estimate that 12-18% of inter-species differences in gene expression levels partially can be explained by  changes in DNA methylation patterns.]]> 2022-02-03 09:54:33 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027151161 Question 1 ha4074ivs https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027155117 We estimated that as much as 12-18% (depending on the tissue) of inter-species differences in gene expression levels might be explained, at least in part, by changes in DNA methylation patterns.

Overuse of "hedging".
Not brief.
Lacking clarity and precision.
Should start with the section about tissues in brackets, and then continue describing the finding based on this.

It is estimated that approximately 12-18% of inter-species differences in gene expression could be due to changes in DNA methylation patterns in a tissue-dependent manner.


]]> 2022-02-03 09:57:02 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027155117 Question 2 ha4074ivs https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027164403  Previous studies shows that the BNT162b2 (Pfizer–BioNTech) and mRNA-1273 (Moderna) vaccines provided robust protective efficacy against coronavirus disease 2019 (Covid-19) [ref. 1-3]. Here, we have reported comparative kinetics of humoral and cellular immune responses elicited by the two-dose BNT162b2 and mRNA-1273 vaccines. We evaluate changes in antibody and T-cell responses from peak immunity at 2 to 4 weeks to 8 months after the second immunization with the mRNA vaccines.” 

The abbreviation COVID-19 is in our opinion well known and does not need to be written out. 
The structure of the paragraph is unorganized.
If this is an abstract, remove references.

 Previous studies shows that the BNT162b2 (Pfizer–BioNTech) and mRNA-1273 (Moderna) vaccines provided robust protective efficacy against Covid-19 [ref. 1-3]. We evaluate changes in antibody and T-cell responses from peak immunity at 2 to 4 weeks to 8 months after the second immunization with the mRNA vaccines. Here, we have reported comparative kinetics of humoral and cellular immune responses elicited by the two-dose BNT162b2 and mRNA-1273 vaccines. ]]> 2022-02-03 10:02:57 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027164403 Fråga 1. ma2621lus https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027167227 1. a) Hedging, för många ''hedging-ord'', och lite ''wordy'' (saknar brevity)

1. b) Depending on tissue, we estimate that 12-18% of inter-species differences in gene expression levels could be explained by changes in DNA methylation patterns.



]]> 2022-02-03 10:04:43 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027167227 Fråga 2 https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027172935 a) Onödigt att skriva ut Covid-19, använd orden Pfizer-BioNTech och Moderna istället för vaccinens namn andra gången eftersom de stått med inom parentes. Ologisk blandning av tempus. Ostrukturerat. Referenser borde inte var med om det är abstract, om det är introduktion så är det okej. Precisionen är inte tillräcklig.  Metod kanske borde vara med tydligare.

Previous studies have shown that BNT162b2 (Pfizer-BioNTech) and mRNA-1273(Moderna) provide robust protective efficacy against SARS-CoV-2 (ref 1-3). Here, we report comparative kinetics of humoral and cellular immune responses elicited by the two-dose Pfizer-BioNTech and Moderna vaccines. We evaluated changes in antibody and T-cell responses from peak immunity at 2 to 4 weeks up to 8 months after the second immunization with the mRNA vaccines. ]]> 2022-02-03 10:08:43 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027172935 Question 3 ha4074ivs https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027180363 The last sentence seems to be a conclusion. The connection between the second and last paragraph is not entirely clear. The second to last sentence seems to contain "main message" and is well related to the metaphors of gas and brakes. 

Only one perspective

Levels of abstraction: popular science description, aimed at a population with very limited knowledge of immunology.

Metaphors: gas and brakes

Enticing, simple language, easy to understand


]]> 2022-02-03 10:13:39 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027180363 Fråga 1 li8635pes https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027181084 As much as: inte så objektivt. Might, at least: för mycket hedging. Börja med differences in gene expression… för att få fram det viktiga. ”Depending on the tissue, changes in DNA methylation might explain 12-18% of inter-species differences in gene expression levels.”]]> 2022-02-03 10:14:12 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027181084 Fråga 1 harrybjorkbacka https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027181474 Too much hedging:
"We estimated that as much as 12-18% (depending on the tissue) of inter-species differences in gene expression levels might be explained, at least in part, by changes in DNA methylation patterns."

Edited:
"Differences in DNA methylation could explain 12-18% of differences in gene expression."

]]> 2022-02-03 10:14:28 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027181474 Fråga 2 li8635pes https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027181979 ”Previous studies have shown that BNT162b2 (Pfizer-BioNTech) and mRNA-1273 (Moderna) vaccines provide robust protective efficacy against coronavirus disease 2019. Here, we report comparative kinetics of humoral and cellular immune responses elicited by the two dose BNT162b2 and mRNA-1273 vaccines. We evaluated changes in antibody and T-cell responses from peak immunity at 2 to 4 weeks to 8 months after the se3cond immunization with the mRNA vaccines.”]]> 2022-02-03 10:14:51 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027181979 Fråga 3 li8635pes https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027182473 Titel, fångar läsarna, declarative. Intro, kort bakgrund, använder sig av metaforer gas/broms. Personification ”deras hjälpredor” ”T-cellerna är ständigt på jakt”, texten är skriven ur allmänhetens perspektiv, det vill säga för att någon utan förkunskap inom området ska kunna förstå. Main message kommer fram tydligt. ]]> 2022-02-03 10:15:14 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027182473 Fråga 2. ma2621lus https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027185522 2. a) Första meningen har två tenses, både dåtid och nutid. Andra är dåtid och tredje är nutid. Blir lite rörigt med en sådan mix. 

2. b) Previous studies have shown that the BNT162b2 (Pfizer–BioNTech) and mRNA- 1273 (Moderna) vaccines provided robust protective efficacy against coronavirus disease 2019 (covid-19) [ref. 1-3]. Here, we report comparative kinetics of humoral and cellular immune responses elicited by the two-dose BNT162b2 and mRNA-1273 vaccines. We evaluated changes in antibody and T-cell responses from peak immunity at 2 weeks, 4 weeks and 8 months after the second immunization with the mRNA vaccines.]]> 2022-02-03 10:17:13 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027185522 Question 4 ha4074ivs https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027190503  “A spectrophotometer was used to measure the protein content in the samples after thawing. A correlation analysis was done to the protein content levels in the samples before freezing.” 

Lack of information and clarity, not all information is given and its presented in an unclear way.
Why correlation analysis? What types of samples?


A correlation analysis was performed to compare the protein content levels in the samples before and after freezing. A spectrophotometer was used to measure the protein contents. ]]> 2022-02-03 10:20:45 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027190503 Fråga 2 kl4814las https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027192206 Blandade tempus, "here we have reported", "we evaluate"
Sista meningen är oklart formulerad, lack of clairity 

Förslag på förbättring: "Previous studies have shown that the Pfizer–BioNTech (BNT162b2) and Moderna (mRNA1273) mRNA vaccines provide robust protective efficacy against Covid-19 [ref. 1-3]. Here, we report comparative kinetics of humoral and cellular immune responses elicited by two doses of the previously mentioned mRNA vaccines. We compare the antibody and T-cell responses at peak immunity (2-4 weeks) and at 8 months after the second immunization with the mRNA vaccines.” ]]> 2022-02-03 10:21:58 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027192206 Fråga 2 harrybjorkbacka https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027194281 Tense not properly used (modesty demands that we indicate if we are reporting on previous findings or our own data).
Edited:
“Previous  studies  have  shown  that the BNT162b2 (Pfizer–BioNTech) and mRNA-1273 (Moderna) vaccines  provide  robust  protective efficacy against coronavirus disease 2019 (Covid-19) [ref. 1-3]. Here, we report comparative kinetics of humoral and cellular immune responses elicited by the two-dose BNT162b2 and mRNA-1273 vaccines.  We  evaluated  changes in antibody and T-cell responses from peak immunity at 2 to 4 weeks to 8 months after the second immunization with the mRNA vaccines.”]]> 2022-02-03 10:23:14 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027194281 Fråga 4 li8635pes https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027204037 Passive past tense for att beskriva vad som gjordes, vilket var bra men meningsuppbyggnaden kan förbättras, bättre att börja med att säga vad man gjorde och sen hur man gjorde det. “Prior to freezing, protein levels were analyzed by using a correlation analysis and the protein content in thawed samples was measured by spectrophotometry.”]]> 2022-02-03 10:29:50 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027204037 Fråga 3 kl4814las https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027207702 -Organisering:
Första stycket fungerar som en kort introduktion, stycke två ger en bakgrund till ämnet och det tredje stycket levererar det huvudsakliga meddelandet: vad nobelpristagarna har gjort 

-Perspektiv: 
Ett immunologiskt perspektiv och ett mer kliniskt perspektiv

-Stylistiska grepp:
Hjälpredor = en typ av personifiering 
Gas/bromspedal = liknelse 
Bakterier, virus, cancerceller = konkrreta exempel på antigener ]]> 2022-02-03 10:32:20 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027207702 Question 5 ha4074ivs https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027210971  “Granulopoiesis is a well-orchestrated de novo generation of neutrophils that stem from increased proliferation of myeloid precursors primarily in the bone marrow. In a steady state, granulocyte colony stimulating factor (G-CSF), a growth factor that is mainly produced by immune cells including neutrophils, stimulates granulopoiesis. HSPCs are biased towards the myeloid lineage (via PU.1 and C/EBPb) by G-CSF and G-CSF enhances proliferation of granulocyte precursors. “ 

Not very precise, missing explanations of abbreviations. Long, complicated sentences impairs clarity. Long sentences in combination with advanced terminology makes the text difficult to read and understand. 

 “Granulopoiesis is a de novo generation of neutrophils involving increased proliferation of myeloid precursors, primarily in the bone marrow. Granulocyte colony stimulating factor (G-CSF) is a growth factor produced by immune cells, including neutrophils. In a steady state, G-CSF stimulates granulopoiesis. In addition, hematopoietic stem and progenitor cells (HSPCs) are biased to the myeloid lineage by G-CSF (via regulatory proteins PU.1 and C/EBPb). Furthermore, G-CSF enhances proliferation of granulocyte precursors. “

]]> 2022-02-03 10:34:01 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027210971 Fråga 3 ma2621lus https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027213224 Organization: Första och andra ''stycket'' är bakgrund, sista stycket förmedlar huvudbudskapet (ny metod för cancer).

Perspectives: Lekmän, allmänheten.

Levels of abstraction: Ganska generellt, förenklat för lättare förståelse

Stylistic devices: Metafor/liknelse, ingen alitteration, personifierar T-celler (de ska anfalla etc...)


]]> 2022-02-03 10:35:42 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027213224 Question 6 ha4074ivs https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027220544  “Altered mTORC2 signalling in Treg cells from mice with dyslipidaemia caused the strongly decreased expression of specific membrane proteins, including CD62L, CCR7 and S1Pr1 and significantly decreased their migration towards lymph nodes.” 

Towards is spoken language, its supposed to be Toward. Bad language overall. No abbreviations explained at all

 “Altered mTORC2 signalling in T-regulatory cells from mice with dyslipidaemia substantially decreases the expression of specific membrane proteins (CD62L, CCR7 and S1Pr1). Furthermore a significant decrease in migration toward the lymph nodes was observed."
 ]]> 2022-02-03 10:41:15 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027220544 Fråga 4 kl4814las https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027222924 Tining och frysning av prover, är det verkligen relevant?
Ospecifikt att inte ange wavelength 
Saknar specificitet

Förslag på förbättring:  
A spectrophotometer (wavelength) was used to measure the protein concentrations in the samples. A correlation analysis between the samples was performed. ]]> 2022-02-03 10:42:53 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027222924 Question 7 ha4074ivs https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027226964 Good organization.
Several perspectives (both in pharmacological mechanism and costs).
Levels of abstraction: popular science description Higher level of abstraction based on the conclusions about societal consequences.]]> 2022-02-03 10:45:46 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027226964 Fråga 3 https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027227076 - Organisering: intro, bakgrund, vad der har gjort + kort slutsats i sista meningen

- Perspektiv: riktas åt allmänheten

- Metaforer finns med]]> 2022-02-03 10:45:52 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027227076 Fråga 4 ma2621lus https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027227619 4 a) Texten är objektiv.
Strukturen kan förbättras, exempelvis kan meningsföljden ändras för att öka tydlighet. 

4 b) “A spectrophotometer was used to measure the protein content in the samples after thawing. A correlation analysis was done to the protein content levels in the samples before freezing.”]]> 2022-02-03 10:46:10 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2027227619 Fråga 4 harrybjorkbacka https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2028866204 Lack clarity due to weak verbs and some repeated words:
“A spectrophotometer was used to measure the protein content in the samples after thawing. A correlation analysis was done to the protein content levels in the samples before freezing.”
Edited:
“Protein content in the samples was measured with a spectrophotometer and correlated to levels before freezing.”]]> 2022-02-04 05:09:31 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2028866204 Fråga 5 harrybjorkbacka https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2028869127 Poor flow. Edited to present the "known" before the "new":
“Granulopoiesis is a well-orchestrated de novo generation of neutrophils that stem from increased proliferation of myeloid precursors primarily in the bone marrow. In a steady state, granulopoiesis is stimulated by granulocyte colony stimulating factor (G-CSF), a growth factor that is mainly produced by immune cells including neutrophils. G-CSF biases HSPCs towards the myeloid lineage (via PU.1 and C/EBPb) and enhances proliferation of granulocyte precursors. “]]> 2022-02-04 05:12:50 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2028869127 Fråga 6 harrybjorkbacka https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2028872257 Lacks precision and unclear what "their" refers to. The use of words "caused" and "significantly" should be reconsidered:
“Altered mTORC2 signalling in Treg cells from mice with dyslipidaemia caused the strongly decreased expression of specific membrane proteins, including CD62L, CCR7 and S1Pr1 and significantly decreased their migration towards lymph nodes.” 
Edited:
“Altered mTORC2 signalling in Treg cells from mice with dyslipidaemia was associated with decreased expression of CD62L, CCR7 and S1Pr1 and a decreased migration of Tregs towards lymph nodes.”]]> 2022-02-04 05:16:31 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2028872257 Fråga 7 harrybjorkbacka https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2028880049 Alliteration: "Billiga piller biter...".
Economic perspective in addition to medical perspective. ]]> 2022-02-04 05:25:53 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2028880049 Fråga 3 harrybjorkbacka https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2028903597 Metaphors: turboläge, gaspedaler, bromsar, full gas
Personification of T cells as hunters and attackers and antigen presenting cells as "hjälpredor" ]]> 2022-02-04 05:56:06 UTC https://padlet.com/harrybjorkbacka/9b9qn0ra1kjln3no/wish/2028903597