4 Peridot - Peer Evaluation by Wang Yahui Grace

Task 1 : 7 minutes (Individual Work)

wang_yahui_grace — 2022-04-04 07:32:57 UTC

- Read aloud Sample A, B and C.
- Annotate each proposal with your questions, uncertainties and/or instances where you feel most convinced by the language.

wang_yahui_grace — 2022-04-04 07:35:51 UTC

Task 2: 10 minutes

wang_yahui_grace — 2022-04-04 07:38:23 UTC

In pairs, role-play as the Principal and Vice-principal of the school. Discuss, in character, which student leader team (A, B or C) you will entrust to execute the renovation. You will also have to discuss HOW MUCH of the budget you will give them based on how convinced you are of their proposal.

Role-play Scenario: You are the Principal / Vice-principal of a secondary school. You have managed to re-channel $5,500 from Teacher Welfare to School Renovation Projects, but this was no easy feat. You now have to divide the limited budget between renovating the school library AND the school foyer.

wang_yahui_grace — 2022-04-04 07:42:16 UTC

The Leadership Team chosen

wang_yahui_grace — 2022-04-04 07:47:02 UTC

E.g. "We choose to award the funds to Proposal D."

Justification

wang_yahui_grace — 2022-04-04 07:49:15 UTC

What about their proposal (i.e. writing) convinced you they were most deserving?

E.g. "We chose this proposal for the following reasons:
1.
2.
3. ..."

"The sentence < ... > makes us, as school leaders, feel < reassured in their capability? >."

Reasons for rejecting the other proposals

wang_yahui_grace — 2022-04-04 07:50:40 UTC

E.g. "We rejected Proposal X for these reasons:
1.
2.
3. ..."

"The sentence/phrase < ... > makes us, as school leaders, feel < uncertain? skeptical? distrustful in their ability? >."

How much of the BUDGET you will award them

wang_yahui_grace — 2022-04-04 07:52:24 UTC

"Of the $5,500 we have to spare, we will award our chosen proposal $XXXX amount and reserve the remaining XXXX for the foyer development.

Our rationale:
1.
2. .."

APPROVE OR REJECT PROPOSAL?

wang_yahui_grace — 2022-04-13 05:16:42 UTC

STATE REASONS WHY (WHAT CONVINCED / DISSUADED YOU?)

wang_yahui_grace — 2022-04-13 05:16:56 UTC

approve

mak_wei_qi1_1 — 2022-04-13 05:19:28 UTC

Approve

ayesha_farah — 2022-04-13 05:19:46 UTC

approve

periyakaruppan_subhiksha — 2022-04-13 05:19:52 UTC

approve

2022-04-13 05:20:07 UTC

len_tan_lian_xi — 2022-04-13 05:20:16 UTC

approve

2022-04-13 05:20:34 UTC

Approve

inez_chin_zi_shuen — 2022-04-13 05:20:46 UTC

Approve

lai_sheng_jun — 2022-04-13 05:21:04 UTC

Approve

2022-04-13 05:21:33 UTC

reasons

2022-04-13 05:21:35 UTC

The reasons provided are valid and convincing . The writer did not force the principal with use of terms like "you should or must " The overall tone is formal and hence provides a sense of professionalism.The points were precise and neatly crafted. However the last part of the essay was incomplete.

Approve

lee_shyan_rachel — 2022-04-13 05:21:52 UTC

Reject

sampath_kumar_sudhir — 2022-04-13 05:21:54 UTC

Approve

ong_yu_yi — 2022-04-13 05:21:57 UTC

Language used is relatively formal and direct-respectful
There were many valid reasons given on why the library will be an important investment
There was a demand required for renovation as shown by the survey- respect students ideas

lee_wei_en_2 — 2022-04-13 05:22:27 UTC

reject the proposal because the student only mention about the problems they had encountered in the library but did not state the reasons how the renovation could benefit the students in terms of education and environment.

for the second paragraph it was said that the students do not have enough study space as it was occupied by remediation. But it was said that they would make some shift study areas for the students which they could go to without renovating the library which is costly.

Approve

sngku5796d — 2022-04-13 05:22:41 UTC

lai_sheng_jun — 2022-04-13 05:22:44 UTC

Proposal takes into consideration the concerns of school management and provides well thought out solutions to the challenges that come with the renovation works. Points were straight-forwards and articulated carefully and politely.

Approve

tanxi5516c — 2022-04-13 05:23:18 UTC

1) I feel reassured that the undesirable concerns that comes with the renovation could be mitigated
2) The use of Passive voice makes it respectful and formal
3) I am able to know why this renovation is important for the students

Budget

ong_yu_yi — 2022-04-13 05:23:34 UTC

just right $3.5k so if there are any additional incurred costs, students are still able to fock out the money

approve proposal

2022-04-13 05:24:02 UTC

approve proposal
- general tone / language is polite, respectful, persuasive
- although the end is abrupt, general tone & awareness of PACC is good
- conclusion is awkward (evidence: Finally, should you have any doubts or suggestions... Mr Goh who has been guiding us along in this project. We hope)

- appropriate solution is provided (evidence: make-shift study areas)

the points were clearly written but the tone of the proposal is rather demanding and sounds more like a complaint.

ayesha_farah — 2022-04-13 05:24:18 UTC

approve

2022-04-13 05:24:47 UTC

-the awareness of the audience, making it appropriate for a letter addressed to the Principal
-polite and respectful tone even when bringing up things that the school can improve on
-provided a solution for every problem raised (e.g. helping to speed up renovation works by offering labour help to reduce the inconvenience renovation works might cause
-the proposal of a specific date shows sincerity in wanting to make it happen

mak_wei_qi1_1 — 2022-04-13 05:24:59 UTC

despite the inconvenience caused by the closure of the library, they came up with a suggestion: make-shift study areas to allow students to continue studying in school.

the team has made comparisons as to why the other option was not proposed. they consider all the possible factors (eg. upcoming N/O level examinations) which led them to their final proposal.

Approve

azzra0605a — 2022-04-13 05:25:51 UTC

- their reasons and necessity for renovation was clear and well-emphasized
- they did what was best for the students depending on research they had conducted which shows that their decision is more convincing
- they provided good and well - prepared solutions to mitigate the impacts due to the renovations
- they highlighted how its better for the future
- they have considered the project thoroughly and seem reliable so i can trust them

calysta_law_en_ting — 2022-04-13 05:25:51 UTC

We would approve the proposal as the student was polite and made meaningful suggestions.
-> (polite) "It is our hope, nonetheless to carry out the renovation in June when the students are on holiday - This would minimise the disruption."
-> (meaningful suggestions) The student had taken the effort to deduce the possible inconveniences to suggest some solutions to the possible problems that could occur due to the renovation works.

sampath_kumar_sudhir — 2022-04-13 05:26:02 UTC

- repackaging the cost of reno was not sufficient ( could have weighed the cost of the foyer )
- explain / elaborate more on how renovating the library helps students ( eg reading and not only studying )
- who is Mr Goh?

len_tan_lian_xi — 2022-04-13 05:26:03 UTC

1. The proposal was filled with clear, relevant details, and it empathized with the school's situations and provided valid solutions to mitigate the problem

2. The tone was formal and respectful:
a. On behalf...seek your endorsement
b. The use of passive voice
c. addressed main concerns like students feedback etc

inez_chin_zi_shuen — 2022-04-13 05:26:22 UTC

1. formal language - seek your endorsement.

2. empathy shown - This would possibly cause interruptions to daily library operations

3. reasonable reasons - the team feels strongly about responding to

the struggles raised by the student body; it would be a large investment, but one that would

improve the quality of learning in our school.

4. solutions provided to mitigate problems - make-shift study areas could be created elsewhere around the school. The

team is also prepared to assist in the shifting of furniture to these temporary locations while

renovations are underway.

5. persuasive - consulting with Mr Goh Kuang Siang (consulting with a teacher make it more reliable)

6. clear organisation - To begin, Another concern

2022-04-13 05:26:22 UTC

We chose to approve this proposal for the following reasons:
1. Proposal clearly gives reasoning to justify why the library is of foremost concern to the school
2. Proposal takes the schools's budget into account
3. Alternatives are provided to help curb the problems that could arise from the renovation of the library
4. Tone is convincing with the use of words like "feels strongly" and "confident"

suresh_harshidha — 2022-04-13 05:26:25 UTC

Approved
We approve this proposal due to
1. The student leaders provided us with solutions and alternative study areas for consultations and studying to continue even during the renovation by making use of makeshift study areas
2. They displayed empathy and the understanding on the school's concerns on the budget provided for the renovation. It can be seen in" While the cost of rewiring all the lighting is cause for concern.. the budget would not be beyond reasons
3. The students weighed the 2 options of foyer and library, after the discussion they have come up with the library, it shows the effort they have taken

Approve

sngku5796d — 2022-04-13 05:26:26 UTC

The language used in the proposal is formal and polite,and the student have solution to mitigate the financial problems.
the student also justifies the renovation

periyakaruppan_subhiksha — 2022-04-13 05:26:30 UTC

1. There is a clearly stated problem and a solution
2. The tone is polite "this letter hopes to detail our proposed plans and seek your endorsement."
3. The points are neatly organised in separate paragraphs.

Quotes

ong_yu_yi — 2022-04-13 05:26:37 UTC

[After careful consideration,...]
[Including the purchase of additional seats and tables, and
potentially acquiring larger shelves for the display of more current reads,...]-they repackaged the cost of the renovation, make it look affordable and im[ortant