The last day was definitely the strangest day.

It all started before we got out of the hotel at seven o’clock, my mother was doing some sandwiches while I was waking up my brother. The moment that we got out of the hotel the bus was taking off in front of our eyes, meanwhile my brother remember(Gra/ww) he had forgotten his nintendo 3DS.

And by the time we arrive (gr)easily to Disneyland, my brother started to feel sick and started to complain to my mother, (punt or a connertor) my mother told him to be patience (ww) because maybe it was just something that will go(wt) away, but he didnt(sp) stop complaining until we finally accepted to go back to the hotel so we stayed the whole day there.

 

At the end we had to see the fireworks in the hotel.

We went to Pau’s apartment which is near the beach the summer the year before(NC) but there were some ups and downs! The day was definitely amazing.

It all started at about half past twelve in the morning, when everybody arrived there, (PUNT)we went to meet another friend who lived near and we decided to go to the beach. While we were going to the beach, it started to rain and we had to go back to(NN) home and when we arrived, it stopped raining! We didn’t know what to do, shall we go back to the beach or not?

The moment that we decided to leave the apartment and go again to the beach, we had the risk of (GR=SUB)starting to rain again, but it didn’t,(PUNT) by the time we arrived to the beach, we realized that there was red flag and we couldn’t swim, so we had fun playing table games on the beach. We finally left a game in the beach and we forgot to go back for it.

Amazingly, in the end we could swim a bit and it was a great day.

Pau Forner Nº 7

Ismael Ariño Nº 3

While my father was driving me and my sister played rock, paper, scissors. Meanwhile we were playing, we remember (GR)that in the car was hidden an old toy that belonged to our grandmother. We had played with that for years in the car. By the time we found it we have just arrived. 

When we finally arrived to the beach just as we get out the car we remind (GR/WW)that we forget the towels so we had to gone(GR) to (MW)house. In the end, when we arrived home, it was for(WW) the night so we stayed at home. 

The structure, connectors ....quite good. Just these few mistakes..!!!!

Last friday(sp) we decided to go and spent the weekend in benidorm and booked a hotel room.

It all started when we were on (ww)the beach sunbathing on the sand. 

We got hot and decided to get in the water.

While we were swimming in the sea we saw some spectacular dolphins around the buoy. The boys decided to went (gra) and when they arrived one of them was screaming in pain, meanwhile the girls were having an ice cream. The moment that we noticed their screams, we called the ambulance immediately.

When we finally got back to the hotel we were waiting the doctor to calm the pain. Just as they cured their sting, my friend and I began to play cards.

Afterwards we went to eat at a restaurant and continued walking around Benidorm until bedtime. The next day we went back home and everything was fine in the end.

Mónica Blázquez  5

Mireia Sánchez  25

YOU HAVEN'T USED: PAST PERFECT.
SOME CONNECTARS ARE MISSING.=KEY PHRASES
BUT QUITE GOOD.

After wards we had a picnic the moment that we finished the picnic it was a cloudy day. 

It all started when we came back to one of the picnic cabin. After a few houres talking and playing. The other family decided to go to  their cabin by the time  surprisingly the door that it was made of wood it didn't open. We were so scared because the wood has absorbed the raining water. 

When we finally called to the camping stuff.  They came as fast as they could, the guys did an amazingly work. In the end they got us outside the cabin. 

Julia balbastre 

Alicia maicas 

After wards(spe)Not clear) we had a picnic, (punt)the moment that we finished the picnic, it was a cloudy day. 

It all started when we came back to one of the picnic cabin. After a few houres talking and playing.????(nC) The other family decided to go to  their cabin by the time(ww)  surprisingly the door that it was made of wood it didn't open. We were so scared because the wood has absorbed the raining water. 

When we finally called to the camping stuff.  They came as fast as they could, the guys did an amazingly work. In the end they got us outside the cabin. 

connectors: you haven't used properly....
Past continuous: you haven't used properly.

Julia balbastre 5

Alicia maicas 15

Monday for us was the best day of our lives,  because we did very funny common activities in England that in Spain they are not (missing something), like skydiving, a gymkhana, rafting ... At the time we were going to do rafting it started to rain and by the time we are (GRA) arrived at the them(nn) place two hours later and It was terrible. We couldn't walk to the river so we stayed in the car listening(mw) music .Meanwhile(PUNT) we decided to go back to(MW) camp after waiting two hours for the rain to stop but in the end we decided to go back to do something else. We didn't do fun things until a girl decided to do a gyncana and we had a great time. Then it stopped raining and we played many things. Before the gyncana we did skydiving and it was amazing and fun. 

After wards we had a barbecue and we were out the rest of the day so it was all okey in the end .And finally we had an incredible night because all the friends had a party and we were happily because there was fantastic music even though it was a very rare day, it was the best day of our lives.

by Patricia Cabanillas and Belén Juan-Senabre

YOU HAVEN'T USED: PAST PERFECT AND PAST CONTINUOUS. 

The moment that I left my home was sad because I had never been away from my home so long before, but when I arrived to the summer camp I started feeling happy. Afterwards, I met a lot of people and happily(wo) we played volleyball and when we finally finished we went to eat together.

Finally, my parents took me back home and it wasn’t until I arrived at home it started to rain.

Everyone had a great time and we enjoyed.(mw)

Past continuous??

 I decided to finish the hide and seek, when my mother finally called me to go. The moment that I went, I jumped some stairs and twisted my ankle. Amazingly, (puntu) I managed to get up and go to the car, but it hurt(gra) a lot.

 My mother asked me what was wrong and I told her everything. In the end, (punt) they took me to the doctor and they told me I had a second degree sprain.

Before going to the doctor, I put ice on it to reduce the inflammation. After telling me that I had a 2nd degree sprain they bandaged it and said that they could not remove it for 2 weeks

the last week was definitely the craziest. (Punt) there were some ups and downs.

It all started when we came back from a theme park called "Universal" at 9:00pm. While we were having dinner my dad and my uncle decided to go to Miami as soon as we finished, (rewrite)so when we finished we started packing our things. The moment that we left the hotel, we realized that my sister had left her jacket in the room, but we decided not to go get it. By the time we arrived at Miami 4 hours later, we were told that there was a problem with the reservation and that our room wasn't available, we didn't have a place  to sleep!. Meanwhile, my little cousins started crying because they were sleepy and couldn't sleep. My parents talked to the hotel owner and he agreed to pay us another room in a better hotel. 

When we finally got our room it was 5:00am. Amazingly, we were not sleepy anymore, so we went to the cafeteria to have some food. Afterwards we went to bed and we slept  until 4:00 in the afternoon. The next day we felt exhausted, at night we went to have dinner in a restaurant called Olive Garden and the food there was delicious. So it was OK in the end. 

A very good one!!!

It all started when I went to Düsseldorf, Germany two years ago. Second day was definitely the biggest adventure.(rewrite)

When I woke up at eight o’clock, my father told me that we were going bungee jumping. The moment that he told me, I was completely scared. While we were going we had (WW) a traffic jam,:(puntuation) By the time we arrived ,my mother was trembling.(puntua) Meanwhile my father was very excited.

When we finally arrived at the bridge I didn’t want to jump but my father obliged me to do it. Amazingly when I did it I enjoyed a lot, it was fantastic! In the end, when we were at home, my mother saw(WW) me the photos that she had taken and my face was really horrible.

Quite good writing!!!