https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz Leave me some feedback on my writing pieces! en-us 2022-01-31 14:55:30 UTC 2022-03-10 17:16:17 UTC hello@padlet.com 27dharmer https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz/wish/2023433375 Hi Julia! I really enjoyed reading your essay! It was very intriguing and entertaining. Something that I really liked was how persuasive it was. You did a really good job providing good convincing pieces of evidence and you supported them well! It was very persuasive! Another thing that was really good in your essay was your word choice. I really liked the words you used such as “superior” “beloved” and more too! I thought it made the essay better and more convincing! One wish that I have for you is to get rid of the personal pronouns so that the essay doesn't come off as biased. Other than that your essay was really good! Great job! ]]> 2022-02-01 14:30:57 UTC https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz/wish/2023433375 27mhuber https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz/wish/2023434524 Star #1. I really loved your introduction because you went into detail by stating how much bow craft is missed, and the benifits of an amusement park all year round.  

Star #2. I thought it was really good that you brought in the fact that the lack of exercise and the amount of screen time in our world currently is affecting children, so you showed how important an amusement park is for children’s sake. 

Wish. Throughout the story I found some errors with punctuation, uppercase/lowercase letters, and personal pronouns, so I would recommend you spend a little more time correcting those in the future. 
Great Job!]]> 2022-02-01 14:31:26 UTC https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz/wish/2023434524 https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz/wish/2023524963 Your essay was exquisite. Your word choice was strong and so was your counter argument. The idea of bringing back bow craft would also be a great thing for the community. A wish I have is just avoid using personal pronouns, no “no no” words.]]> 2022-02-01 15:07:15 UTC https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz/wish/2023524963 27eheaven https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz/wish/2023527550       I enjoyed reading this essay. It was very informative and gave me a true insight on the importance of bringing back Bowcraft. 
      I think you did a great job at convincing people to bring it back.
      My only issue with this is that there are some G.U.M.S. errors, and try to not use too many personal pronouns. But besides that, this essay is great! 👍🏽😊  ]]> 2022-02-01 15:08:17 UTC https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz/wish/2023527550 27dharmer https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz/wish/2088441936 Julia, I really like your product, its creative and I would definitely buy this! One thing that I really liked was how your slides were set up they were pretty and you included lots of pictures of different sweets. I also really liked how you included what types of people would like to buy this product like people that have a sweet tooth but don’t have time to bake or people that want to try out new desserts. One wish that I have is that maybe you could’ve added a picture of the inside of the sweet box. Overall your presentation was really good and I want to buy the Sweet Box now!]]> 2022-03-10 14:28:07 UTC https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz/wish/2088441936 27mhuber https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz/wish/2088449838 Hey Julia! 
Your Sweet Box sounds amazing and I loved watching your presentation! One star I have is that you were able to include in your presentation that people with allergies or vegans are able to participate in Sweet Box because you have sweets safe for them. That will really make everyone intrigued in your product. Another star I have is that you had a great counterargument by targeting HelloFresh and explaining how other companies like that make you bake/cook the food yourself, and your Sweet Box has food already made come right to your door! One wish that I have is you could have included the price of you product in the presentation so I could have a better understanding of what I am purchasing. Overall, your presentation was amazing, and I would love to purchase the Sweet Box! - Maddie H. ]]> 2022-03-10 14:31:39 UTC https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz/wish/2088449838 27jviscardicarelse https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz/wish/2088795516 Star: your idea was really good and i think that it could become a reality 
star:i like your pictures they make me feel hungry🤤
Wish:your slides where very wordy]]> 2022-03-10 17:16:17 UTC https://padlet.com/27jdifiore/94m35bi2mblas4nz/wish/2088795516