EBI - Use the past tense for your narration.

EBI - Try to describe what you can see happening in the picture more.

for example - As the sun set, the boy and his dad joined the crew of the tall sailing ship, setting off to find a new land. The white capped waves broke against the ship's side and the wind filled her sails to speed her on her way.

captain but then the captain had enough the captain threw his sword on the ground boom!💥 the ship shakes.everyone was quite and shocked 😳 then the captain said if you people are still talking about how bad I am I will push you of the ship!! Everyone is still in shock then they came back to work.

Looking like a wedding cake with blueberry frosting on the bottom.

My job was cleaning deck until it was bright as a mirror, i was washing clothes fast as an eagle, and cooking food better than Gordon Ramsay.

My hands were hurt.

My job is the navigator I had to shout directions so loud I couldn’t breathe.

My throat feels like needles poking through I was thirsty all I could do was to catch the rain water.

The steering wheel is so smooth that my hands always feel soft, my seat is so rough that my bottom feels like it’s going to burn! My shoes are so tight that I have blisters all over my feet.

Today I had my very first step on the famous dagger ! The dagger was big and tall , like a Saras crane , standing proud and high.

As I waved goodbye , I could smell the fresh air from the sea , but then I was hit by the stank of men on board . Later , I realised I was the only woman! As I turned around , all the men stared at me in disgust, then they went on with what they where doing . With this happening , I thought this would be a lonely adventure.

Life on a ship is rougher then I thought my job is to look out for land and scream land ahoy at the top of my lungs I would scream louder then the world wining champion of screaming then the men on the ship will run like cheetahs and scream louder then me.

Oh no! A storm was about to hit! Because of the party, no one noticed! So I climbed up the crows nest and screamed, “A STORM IS ABOUT TO HIT !" Everyone started to get to their stations, and because of me, they were safe . A feeling of leadership washed over me.

As we all went to bed the captain stopped me He said " You may be the only woman , but we could've died without you. " I smiled and ran to my hammock . I could hear thunder, but I could feel happiness .

There was a huge tornado! It was big as a skyscraper and also a lot of sailors food was getting low

“There it is” I exclaimed, I was stunned after seeing the pirate ship. It was as tall as the globe and as big as the sea itself. “I am going to name him The Sun God Nika, god of Liberation!

“There it is!” I said roughly because I was running really fast.I ran on the dock really quick.I was getting really close and close and finally, I saw the boat.

Today it was my very first day on the white rabbit! She’s the biggest ship I’ve ever seen, with fancy rooms and looking like a wedding cake with blueberry frosting at the bottom. The sails are crisp and white, sweeping through the clear water like a swan as I got onto the ship.

My fist day in the ship is going perfectly so far, and I already made a friend his name is crackers he is a parrot, and the black swan is a small boat but is also as tall as a tower it, simmers and shines in my eyes as it pulled in.

I ran to dad and he ran to me . As I run into his arms , tears watered in my eyes . He says i look old . I don’t think I look old, I think i look taller . I told him about how I got a better place on crows nest and that how I’m not afraid of height's . As I look around , I see the crew so differently . So much has happened on this adventure . Although I was the only woman on board , they feel like family. But now that I have no worries , and I was back at home, I felt as light as a feather.

Finally we’ve gotten to day 4. Yesterday was the freakiest day ever I hated it.

came crashing in the boat hard as rocks nearly splitting the ship in half

Yesterday was the craziest day of my life! The crew had a fight with the captain! I was so scared I never before saw the crew or the captain like this.

I can see the island that I’m glad to be leaving I can see my family and I know the crew is happy to with the cheer and song singing.

The last job I had was my hated . I had to clean the dirty men’s clothes . They stank of rotten eggs that would be left in the sun for years to come . Every day I have to climb up a stick and as I do that , I get blisters which are ginormous , and I get burned from the metal that is there to keep the stick steady and strong .

The food is disgusting! It’s the worst food i ever tasted! Usually I love food , but not on this trip . The food is bland and tasteless . The biscuits look like fresh muck from the ground . The meat as tough as fathers shoes .

At night , the hammock is smelly and disgusting. It is stinky from men’s sweat and rough , scratching my skin as I move around uncomfortably.

I heard men whispering about me . They said that I wouldn’t be able to survive the storm that we were about to hit tomorrow. Sadness washed over me . Luckily the captain told them to stop chatting .

Just now I remembered that an old man on board told me I was bound to be killed by the storm striking tomorrow. That just made me scared and worried .

found it!

the marvellous richest onto the boat and prepared to set sail to go home.

I shouted telling them to get the animals below deck. At this point , no one listened to the captain as he was in his office. I gritted my teeth.

Finally , the storm cooled down , but I really thought we would lose our lives .

Yesterday was so important, we found an island city, it had so many fun things to enjoy, but the captain did not let us play around all we could do was watch and look at the natives who lived there.

As the boat got closer to the mysterious island, I’ve seen many trees before , but never these ones . They had boat shaped leaves and curved stems . I also saw beautiful coloured birds zooming through the trees . The sand looked as white as ever . The water clear . As we got to the island , I thought of the word tropical . As we looked up , we saw objects that looked like cow dung . Later I found out they were coconuts .

There he is Mr.James Morgan laying on a bed in the rain. He was getting a bit sick after we left the island his gums started to bleed the doctors said he needed fresh fruit but it didn’t help and now he’s dead. ): we are low on supplies with out him we’re doomed every things harder then before.

we’ve done it! I sailed us to the closest island to get new fresh food since all the food was gone from the huge leak. The island was so pretty it looked like a big beautiful gem, shining as bright as the sun. But then I realised it was a gem! The magic blue gem it was as big as an elephant! I was scared that the other countries would be there, but also happy that we made it. My heart was racing like a cheetah with nerves.

We’ve done it! Today, we spotted land on the horizon. Everyone cheered and yelled even the gulls flew away, I had to cover my ears.

THE END

Today all the pirates are upset of our misery. Including me, we have searched everywhere, without the gem we can’t bring everyone to harmony. That means that Shadowfields or Major Rip could have the gem! That would be the worst thing that could ever happen!

The sea is flat as glass and as clear as a glass cup. There’s no wind to fill our sails. We’ve been stuck here for days, the food is also running low, and the obscured are harder than before.

We made it! A stormed win came at last, we sailed to our home port today! The second we saw a familiar coastline, cheers came out!