The Road to Grading AP Essays! by Toluwalase Adelakun

THESIS

ctx061496 — 2024-10-02 15:05:04 UTC

EVIDENCE & COMMENTARY

ctx061496 — 2024-10-02 15:06:40 UTC

0 POINTS - NOT A CAR

ctx061496 — 2024-10-02 15:07:11 UTC

Without an engine or steering wheel, this simply isn't a car; it's merely a frame with wheels. The idea of a car is there, but it serves no purpose--it cannot transport people. It's like 0 points on a thesis; the thesis is the backbone of the essay, and without it or an argument within it, there's no identifiable purpose.

1 POINT - TOYOTA COROLLA

ctx061496 — 2024-10-02 15:07:35 UTC

While this car is simple, it's still able to be driven. It has all the basic functions, like headlights, A/C, blinkers, a steering wheel, and a functioning engine. It transports from point A to point B. Similar to the thesis point, it has a meaningful point and exists to convey a purpose/argument. A Corolla can be driven as the basic model or upgraded to be more elaborate, but either way, it's still reliable, just like a thesis!

0 POINTS- MERELY SOME SCRAPS

toluadelakun28 — 2024-10-02 15:10:13 UTC

This "car" has a few recognizable parts like the tire hub and frame, but is missing parts that would make a car otherwise, functional. There is no steering wheel, engine, or fuel. While these scraps have the potential to become a car, they lack the crucial supporting elements to become one. Similarly, 0 points on evidence and commentary mean the essay does not have important pieces and lacks the critical aspects of an essay like support and explanations. Without recognizable, important parts, neither a car nor a cohesive argument can be formed.

1 POINT- TOY CAR

ctx061496 — 2024-10-02 15:19:54 UTC

It looks like a car and people might call it a car, but like 1 point on evidence and commentary, the car isn't going far. The car has wheels and a steering wheel, but is missing the key components to run. It can move and transport, but only for very small distances. Similarly, an essay that has 1 point on evidence and commentary may have some form of summarization, but is too weak to form a proper essay or argument.

2 POINTS- 2005 HONDA CIVIC

ctx061496 — 2024-10-02 15:20:06 UTC

This is a basic car and functions properly. It has all the right parts to run, but lacks first-rate features that make it grab attention or stand out. An essay with 2 points on the evidence and commentary, like this car, is deficient in clarity and depth. The Honda Civic and 2-point essay are both useable, but could use some improvements.

3 POINTS- TOYOTA CAMRY

ctx061496 — 2024-10-02 15:20:13 UTC

The Toyota Camry is a reliable car and has many great features like driver assistance, high horsepower, and fuel efficiency; however, it lacks higher-end features that are present in more expensive cars like interior LED lights, a sunroof, or heated seats. An essay that has 3 points in evidence and commentary is alike in this sense because it's dependable and has some support and explanation, but lacks sophistication and consistent commentary along with sufficient analysis examination. Both the car and essay are satisfactory, but have room for improvement and could be taken up to the next level with enhancements.

4 POINTS- BMW X7

ctx061496 — 2024-10-02 15:20:49 UTC

The BMW X7 is a luxury car with great functions and designs like advanced technology, leather seats, a rear entertainment system, and massaging seats. Like this car, an essay with all points in this section has everything it needs to build a cohesive essay like specific text evidence, an explanation of evidence, and a full analysis of the passage given. Driving in this luxury car excites the driver just like how reading an essay with 4 points in evidence and commentary excites the reader. The car and essay are top-tier in quality and exceed expectations.

SOPHISTICATION

ctx061496 — 2024-10-02 15:21:39 UTC

0 POINTS - HONDA ACCORD

ctx061496 — 2024-10-02 15:22:47 UTC

A Honda Accord is a great car--it's practical, has good fuel economy, and is easy to drive. However, it is a basic car. Its design features may seem like an attempt to stand out, but it doesn't actually have many thoughtful details and only includes the simple necessities. Similarly, an essay without a sophistication point conveys a proper argument but lacks complex understanding. There's potential for added modifications to improve it, but that would require more effort and attention to detail.

1 POINT - ROLLS ROYCE PHANTOM

ctx061496 — 2024-10-02 15:23:04 UTC

This is the most expensive and luxurious car to have ever been made. With heated seats, a Wi-Fi hotspot, LED lights, built-in entertainment screens, reclining seats, and laser headlights, it has everything and more you could want in a car. It goes above and beyond with its intricate details to prove itself as a sophisticated method of transport, like how the sophistication point on an essay proves the essay to be complex and well thought-out. A sophistication point means the essay puts effort towards extending itself out of the text, acknowledging the surrounding context, like how the Rolls Royce Phantom strives to differentiate itself from the basic car market.