https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic Self and other project ((Does not contain all my work)) en-us 2021-10-12 09:25:27 UTC 2025-10-12 23:31:24 UTC hello@padlet.com catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1810382714 2021-10-12 11:22:14 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1810382714 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813347323 2021-10-13 09:01:30 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813347323 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813349114 2021-10-13 09:02:25 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813349114 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813354930 Being parentless by age 7

How did it affect us?

I don't think dad's death affected us much because we were already used to not having him around, I didn't even realise he died near the time our mum died, I thought he died when we were toddlers because he never bothered to see us.

I struggled to come to terms with mums death despite finding her body, I just wanted to believe that the ambulance would fix her no matter how bad it looked. I use to think the ambulance/hospital could cure anything and everything.

I would have recurring nightmares about it, especially in the room where it happened, on the chair.

I got really quiet after it, it was as if I couldn't speak. I couldn't speak in school or meeting new people, I'd only talk to my sister and those in my household. This lasted for years, from primary school up into secondary school (started to work on it in the senior phase). I still struggle with it today but I'm a lot better than I used to be. 

I think my speaking, vocabulary and social skills are very behind compared to everyone else, I feel like an idiot. It's hard for me to translate what's in my head into words or text -- that's why I like to use art to express myself and work through these feelings! :))

My sister went through a wild phase, she did a lot of risky behaviours and got herself kicked out... That was honestly a blessing in disguise because she can now fully express herself. She's doing really well now.

My sister, brother and I feel very disconnected from the rest of our family. We felt connected to gran but she's passed away too. Our dad's side rarely talks to us unless it's a formality (like at funerals). Our mum's side is slightly more involved in our lives but we've never felt like we belonged to them. They weren't there for us, it was for our gran and uncle - they'd criticize us and put more pressure on us than they did their own kids...

All of us struggle with mental health problems!
Brother - Autism, health anxiety 
Sister - Depression
me - Social and health anxiety 

It feels like life went too fast for us. We're supposed to lose our parents and grandparents later in life but it happened to us before my sister and I even graduated Secondary School.

When dating or making friends, it's always awkward when it comes to 'meeting the parents' - I always worry that when I explain the situation, people will look at me negatively. 
Although my ex saw 'not meeting the parents' as a positive for him!? It was difficult for me to meet his parents because it was so long since I met a mum - I didn't know how to act.]]> 2021-10-13 09:05:40 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813354930 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813462814 All my milestones have been lonely, anticlimactic and bittersweet. No one is cheering for me but I am? I'm proud of myself. Although, of course i wish i had someone to make proud.]]> 2021-10-13 10:03:24 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813462814 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813593259 2021-10-13 11:21:32 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813593259 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813600735 2021-10-13 11:25:31 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813600735 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813608644 2021-10-13 11:29:37 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813608644 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813622962 2021-10-13 11:36:52 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813622962 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813625354 2021-10-13 11:38:09 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813625354 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813972640 ‘My father passed away when I was nine. Ever since then, my emotional inner self has stopped at that age while my outer self continued to grow. The nine-year-old girl would also appear in my life from time to time to take control of my emotions’

‘One scene often repeats itself: I sit at a table together with the girl and my father. They often talked something that I could never hear. But my emotion would always be controlled by them. I am always trapped in the prison of childhood’]]> 2021-10-13 13:43:55 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813972640 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813993714 2021-10-13 13:50:11 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1813993714 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1814021042 2021-10-13 13:57:59 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1814021042 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1816942178 2021-10-14 13:00:35 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1816942178 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1817052929 Peter Capaldi - Actor
Bryan Elsley - Writer
Simon Massey - Director
David Hayman - Director (of Govan Ghost Story)

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https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1831033258 2021-10-20 16:45:14 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1831033258 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1831034332 2021-10-20 16:45:34 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1831034332 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1836115245 I love the way she uses plaster

]]> 2021-10-22 12:17:34 UTC https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1836115245 catrinahodge https://padlet.com/catrinahodge/91jby4yik1vpm5ic/wish/1902532788 I made this clay stop-motion to see what a life sized creation could potentially look like.

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