https://padlet.com/26tcoffey/8rdxr7hjaknp Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2019-12-05 15:53:08 UTC 2019-12-10 18:45:44 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f434.png 26kdieujuste https://padlet.com/26tcoffey/8rdxr7hjaknp/wish/420813328 I love the way that you showed her behavior in your story.  Connie is very mischievous as said in the beginning of the story.  I feel like when she is always getting in trouble and catching an attitude for and over little things, she is having that trait reinforced.  I also like how you constantly described the character throughout your story.  For example when you said, ‘What is that outfit? I flung my head in the opposite direction to try to avoid eye contact. Time to fend for yourself in this war zone. My body tensed up and I clenched my hands. Eyes poked out from the barn and glued themselves to my body.’ this really shows how she feels and what she thinks.  Although your writing is really good, there is one thing you overlooked.  You skipped over quite a bit of the cause in the beginning of the story.  I’m sure that readers would want to know about how the fight in the beginning happened.  In the story, you only showed the effect of the problem.  This skipped part of writing also occurred when the woman at the stables said that she didn’t need to go home and change but she should bring a change of clothes next time.  She was wearing an outfit but it wasn’t described.                                                                      I know my paragraph is lengthy, so thanks for reading it to the very end.]]> 2019-12-06 15:54:20 UTC https://padlet.com/26tcoffey/8rdxr7hjaknp/wish/420813328 26nbeversluis https://padlet.com/26tcoffey/8rdxr7hjaknp/wish/420859132 A strength your story, “Hooves for Hope” has, is the technique in your details. Your detail is very specific and allows the readers to engage in your writing. Some details like, “My eyes followed the white tiles, covered with sneaker marks and scratches. Every step I took I could hear a sloshing sound in my black vans. My laces were tinted a light pink with cherry slushie chunks. It also hooked me in and kept me deep into your story. Another thing I love about your story, is your hook. It kept my attention and really kept me attached to your story. When you said, “Sulking, staggering down the what seemed endless hallway of Polk County High lined with sandy lockers I wondered what Mom would say when she found out what had happened this time. My clothes were soaking wet and stained a pinkish red. Of course, today I had chosen to wear a white shirt! Lockers clanged shut as my peers came out of their hiding to stare at the hot mess in front of them. I could hear sharp hissing sounds behind me.” I really got the chance to meet the character and really get into your story. Although, your story was really good, I can offer you some feedback. Maybe next time you can adjust your speaker tags so the reader can fully understand who is talking at the moment in the story. Great job, Tess! I really enjoyed your story!

]]> 2019-12-06 16:47:50 UTC https://padlet.com/26tcoffey/8rdxr7hjaknp/wish/420859132 26smcmeekan https://padlet.com/26tcoffey/8rdxr7hjaknp/wish/422218965 Your character change is so clear! I saw how in the beginning she misbehaved and was almost mean and then how volunteering at hooves for hope and meeting Jordan really changed her and made her more positive and outgoing. Also your hook was sooo good and was very descriptive. I could easily picture Connie walking down the hallway with other kids staring at her and I could feel that he almost didn’t care that she had gotten in trouble. However one suggestion I could make is to be careful that you don’t switch from Connie telling the story to a narrator telling the story. What I mean by this is that in some parts Connie would be speaking and in others it seemed to be told by a narrator.]]> 2019-12-10 15:36:15 UTC https://padlet.com/26tcoffey/8rdxr7hjaknp/wish/422218965 26alorusso https://padlet.com/26tcoffey/8rdxr7hjaknp/wish/422351269 2019-12-10 18:44:18 UTC https://padlet.com/26tcoffey/8rdxr7hjaknp/wish/422351269